Falling In (18 page)

And he does. He fucks me over and over, taking my body to epic heights, every which way he can, until I wake up clutching my phone in my hand and wishing like hell I could go back to sleep to feel it all over again
.
             

Evangeline

The sun is shining through the curtains, hitting me directly in the eyes and causing my face to scrunch up.
Always so glamorous in the morning
. God, I feel like I’m hung over. I sit up on the couch and rub my eyes, replaying in my head what happened last night. My whole body heats up with embarrassment.
Did I really have a sext-a-thon with Jake last night?

Yes, yes I did.

I groan into my hands.

“Rough night?” I open my eyes and find Cole, strolling through the hallway, dressed for work, with a mug in each hand. He hands me one with steaming hot Awake tea, prepared with a bit of sweet cream and honey.
Yum
.

I take it with a “thank you” and take a sip of the sweet, comforting goodness. I look up from my cup to find him staring at me.
Oh that’s right, he asked me a question
. Guess I got used to him not talking to me.

“I couldn’t sleep, so I came down here to do a little reading. Didn’t want the light to wake you. I must’ve dosed off at some point.” I half lie.

Cole nods and we both take a sip from our drinks, looking anywhere but at each other.

He finally sighs and walks over to the couch, sitting down next to me. “Look, Evie, can we just rewind a little bit? I hate feeling this awkward around you. It feels so fucking weird.” He brushes a stray curl from my face. I lean into his touch, relishing in it after having been without it this weekend.

“I love you, Cole.”

“I know. I love you more.”

“Not possible.” We both smile before he pulls me into a kiss. Our tongues caress each other’s slowly, sensually. He grips the back of my hair, deepening the kiss. I moan into his mouth, closing the space between us. But just as things are getting good, we hear a pitter-patter of footsteps coming down the stairs.

The kids are awake.

Of course they are.

“
Fuck. To be continued
?” Cole whispers in my ear.

“Definitely.” I wink at him. The kids sluggishly walk toward us, rubbing their eyes and yawing. “Good morning, guys. Looks like we all have a case of the Mondays.”

They mumble their incoherent answer in unison. Cole and I just laugh.

“Well, I should get to work. Kids, have a good day at school. And Evie, I look forward to later, beautiful.” He gives us each a kiss on our foreheads, and then leaves for work.

I stare at my phone that is now on the coffee table, taunting me. Making the guilt of what I did last night creep up my body, paralyzing me in place.
It shouldn’t have happened.
I shouldn’t have
let
it happen.
But damn, I wanted it
. I wanted it so bad I can still feel the longing of his words coursing through my body. The desire that I felt last night was something I haven’t felt in a long time. It was dirty and reckless. Wrong.
So very wrong, but so fucking hot
. I wish I could say I regret it, but deep down, I don’t. And that is screwing with my head right now.
My head and my heart. How can I not regret doing something so intimate with someone who isn’t Cole? And then the morning after, almost have sex with Cole like nothing happened the night before?
I am royally fucked up.

“Mom?” Cady says, tearing me away from my thoughts.

I look up from my phone to find them both staring at me like I’ve gone mad. I force a smile.

“We’re hungry,” Dyl says.

“Oh, dang. Of course. Um, why don’t you guys just grab a pop tart or a muffin, and I’ll go upstairs and get our clothes together, okay?” They both scurry off without a reply.

I force myself off the couch and trudge upstairs, going into the kids’ rooms to grab their clothes before walking into mine. I shut the door behind me, pressing my back against it and take a few much needed deep breaths.
Get it together, Evie. You’re going to be seeing Jake in less than thirty minutes.

Shit.

I’m going to see Jake in less than thirty minutes!

The Jake that I had text-sex with last night. The Jake that made me practically come with his words. The Jake that is
not
Cole.

I don’t have time to shower, so I wash my face quickly and brush a bit of blush on my cheeks, hopefully brightening my face up a bit as I throw my hair up in a top knot. I delve into my closet, pulling out a white, vintage pinup-inspired halter dress with poppies scattered all over.
It’s one of my favorites—a birthday present from Cole last year
. I swiftly slip it on, along with a pair of black ballet flats. I rush out the door and down the stairs, throwing clothes at the kids.

While they get dressed, I get their lunches packed up and double-check their hair, making a quick fishtail braid for Cady. The kids get their backpacks packed and put on and with five minutes to spare, we head for the door. I kiss the kids goodbye as they leave the house, but before I walk out the door with them, I stop at the mirror and apply a little lip gloss.

For no reason in particular, of course.

Once I walk outside, my eyes immediately clash with Jake’s. He’s standing at the bottom of the stairs, and the look on his face makes my breath catch. He’s staring at me like I’m the only one he sees. That sexy, crooked smile on his face is just for me, and me alone. We stay there in a trancelike state, just taking each other in.
No one else exists at the moment
. I don’t even hear the bus come and go. It’s just us and that gravitational pull we have, the connection that I can feel surging through every part of my body.

As if we can read each other’s minds, we both begin to walk toward each other at the same time, meeting at the bottom of the porch.

“You look—
stunning
,” he breathes out, shaking his head like he can’t believe what he’s seeing.

“Thank you,” I say timidly. Feeling awkward about last night, I look away from him.

He pulls my face back to his. “Hey. Don’t do that. Don’t be ashamed or shy with me. Where’s that girl from last night, huh? She was fearless. She wasn’t afraid to be sexual. She told me what she liked and what made her hot. Which was fucking hot, by the way. I like that girl. Be
that
girl. And believe me when I say you look beautiful today. Tomorrow, too. And yesterday.” I can’t help but bare a ridiculous smile.

“Wow. That was some line, Jake.”

“It wasn’t a line. Just the truth.” He captures my hand in his and leads me down the step. “C’mon, let’s go for a walk.”

“Okay.”

He lets go of my hand as we begin to walk down the street. I frown at first, but then remember that it was probably a smart move on his part.
Nosy ass neighbors.
And well, you know, also the simple fact that I’m not his and we’re certainly not dating. We’re just friends. And outside of elementary school, friends don’t hold hands. Of course, that knowledge isn’t stopping him from purposely brushing his knuckles across mine, sending nerve-wracking tingles up my arms.

We walk silently, but like always, it’s never uncomfortable. It’s welcome, even, as I need to gather my thoughts together. Sometimes when he speaks to me, all rational thought goes out the window. Like those haunting mint green eyes, his voice is intoxicating and powerful. I could get lost in him and be completely satisfied. I need to be careful. I have to be on guard.

We reach the park in a few minutes. The same park we went to a month ago, the day this all began. It seems a lot longer than a month, though. It feels like we’ve been doing this dance for ages. We sit down at a bench. The bench we first sat at together.

Our bench.

I smile at the thought. He must be thinking the same thing, because he’s looking at it with the same dopey smile on his face. The smile that says he’s remembering. Remembering the beginning of this.
This feeling. This heart pumping, can’t catch your breath feeling.
He takes my hand in his again, this time shielding the connection from anyone who might be looking. At the moment, I don’t give two effs who’s watching, because right now, right now I just see him. I laugh to myself.

“What’s so funny?”

“I feel like I’m sixteen again. Whenever I’m with you, I always feel so young. Free. Not a care in the world. Giddy, like a little schoolgirl who has a crush on a cute boy.”

“Am I the cute boy?” he asks with that smart-ass smirk of his.

“Maybe.” I smirk back.

“I know what you mean, though. I feel the same way. Not like a little schoolgirl, but instead I’m some teenage boy who can’t control his urges around this beautiful girl who lives next door.”

“Is that what this is? Us trying to recapture our teenage years, or attempting a redo because ours were so fucked up? Is this real? Or is it just some silly crush that will go away in a couple of weeks?” I look at him hard, searching his eyes for an answer, gaging his thoughts. He does the same.

“Maybe we are looking for a redo, but that doesn’t change the fact that I want you. I want all of you, Evangeline. All I’ve thought about for a month is you. You’ve consumed me. This is real. These feelings are real. This need is real, and I don’t know when or if it will ever go away.”

I close my eyes and let those words seep into my goose-bumped skin, tearing me open from the inside out. I can feel his hand skim my cheek. I breathe him in before opening my eyes.

“I don’t know what to say to that.”

“The truth?”

“It’s not that simple, Jake. The truth can hurt.” I say, my voice breaking at the end.

I let go of his hand and pull away from his touch, only to be brought back to him. Except for this time, he holds my face with both of his hands, searing me with his blistering gaze. I have nowhere to go.
Nowhere to hide
. I’m lost in the fire of his irises.

“The truth—the truth can also set you free.”

His eyes drop to my mouth, lingering there as I instinctively lick my lips. When he brings his gaze back up, his eyes have darkened with desire and yearning. A silent plea is pouring out of his intense stare. All I hear is our harsh breathing, and the sound of our hearts hammering away in our chests.

“The truth is, I think I’ve wanted you since the first day I saw you walk through your door. I felt a palpable connection, this feeling that you were going to change everything I knew. You scared me. You
still
scare me. I don’t know what any of this means. I just know that you haunt my dreams, my thoughts. No matter how hard I try, I can’t get you out of my head. And what scares me is that I don’t want to, Jake. I just want you. I want you so—”

And then he crashes his lips to mine, cutting my words off. But I really don’t care, since I don’t even know what the hell we were talking about at the moment. I open my mouth, inviting him in, and he doesn’t waste any time. Our tongues are attacking each other at full force. His mouth is owning mine, claiming and declaring that it’s finally his. All of this pent-up sexual tension is easing out of us, pouring instead into this mind-blowing, heart-pounding, Earth shattering, uncontrollable, euphoric, and all-encompassing kiss. We wrap our hands around each other’s heads, falling deeper into one another. We’re both shivering from the intensity of this moment, both fearful for when it will have to end.

And then it does. Like a bucket of cold water being doused all over me, an image of Cole comes to my mind, out of nowhere. It’s from this morning and he’s smiling at me, telling me he loves me, and the emotion on his face, the unconditional love that I see reflecting in his eyes, forces me to rip my mouth away from Jake’s, jumping out of his grasp. I cover my mouth in horror, tears already beginning to stream down my face.

“What have I done?” I ask myself, beginning to hyperventilate. I’m clutching for my heart, like I can’t find it. And that’s how I feel—like my heart was just stolen from my chest.

I start to walk away from Jake. To where, I don’t know. I don’t think I can go home. Not now. I just need a minute. A minute away from him.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
My vision is so blurry, I don’t think I can go very far without walking into something.

I make it to a big oak tree before I have to stop. Sliding down it, I hug my knees to my chest. I can feel him standing in front of me, cautiously, yet on guard if I need him. I begin to sob harder, and in one swift move, I’m lifted off the ground and wrapped up in Jake’s arms.

“Hey. Hey, baby. Just breathe, okay? Calm down.” He’s rubbing my back, trying to soothe the ache that is assaulting my body as I start to sob hysterically into his chest. “Evangeline. Shit, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I—shit.”

He pulls me away from him so he can grab my face and look me in the eyes. I gaze at him through a veil of tears. He tries to wipe them away, but they just keep coming back.

“I just couldn’t
not
kiss you. Hearing how you felt. Having you next to me. Feeling your body near mine. Looking into these beautiful brown eyes that see through me, that really see me. I couldn’t not taste these lips.”