Falling In (6 page)

What’s on his mind? Is he still distraught about the fight? Or is it something else?
Though our sex this morning and last night was amazing, something felt off, but I don’t know what. I decide to put it on the backburner for now. I’m sure it’s nothing, but if it’s something, then he’ll tell me when he’s ready. He always does.

After we finish eating, I clear the plates and push the kids out to the living room for cartoons so I can start my daily routine. I grab my phone and start up Spotify. I put on some Florence and the Machine for my morning clean up.
Florence is a goddess
. Shimmying and singing along to the playlist, I finish in record time, so I decide to squeeze in some yoga.

The backyard is calling me, so I yell up to Cole that I’m going outside to work out. I walk outside and instantly feel at peace.
I love our backyard
. It’s quite large, with an oak wooden deck. We are blessed with not one but three cherry trees, a vegetable garden and beautiful flowers, with green bushes and grass surrounding the perimeter.

Switching to The Civil Wars, I lay down my mat and begin my sun salutations. As I’m doing downward dog, I turn my head and notice Jake standing on his deck, his eyes glued to my bending body. A coffee cup is raised to his mouth, like he was about to take a drink but paused just before. He then realizes he’s been caught and he smirks.

Smug jerk
.

I can still feel his eyes on me as I go through a
vinyasa
flow. He’s making no move to leave. But instead of making me feel insecure, it fuels me to show off my skills. I’ve been practicing yoga since shortly after my dad killed himself. My therapist said it would relax me, and would also be a positive outlet to release my anger and pain.

My body is getting warm as I go from airplane to a one-legged chair pose. I turn my head, and yes, he is still watching. I smirk back at him as I jump from forward fold right into
chaturanga
. When I get back in downward dog, I catch his eyes on my ass.
Shit.
Now I’m really warm. And then I feel a hand swat my ass. I yelp and turn to see Cole smiling. He’s freshly showered, wearing his Lincoln High baseball tee and cargo shorts. He looks yummy, as usual.

Grabbing me by the waist, he pulls me flush against his body and kisses me long and passionately. “
Mmmm
, I love watching you bend over like that. Although, I would prefer you to be naked and in our bed.”

We both laugh and I punch him in the arm. As I turn around to roll my mat, I discretely glance over at Jake’s backyard. He’s gone. I grab my mat, and when I turn around, Cole is looking in the same direction I was
. Did he see Jake?
If he did, he isn’t saying anything. His face returns to mine and he smiles. I link my arm in Cole’s and head back inside.

Once I go through the door, I run upstairs to take a quick shower. It’s another warm day, so I decide on a high-waisted and flowy A-line sunflower skirt that hits my knees, paired with a black cropped top that shows the tiniest sliver of tummy, and the brown Birkenstocks that I’ve had for ages. I leave my immense amount of curly hair flowing freely down my back, dust on a bit of blush, and head downstairs. The kids are still being entertained by
Austin and Allie
, so I start packing our lunches for the play date. Cole’s sitting at the breakfast bar with another cup of coffee, reading something on his phone. He looks up at me and whistles. I wink. While I pack a lunch for him, Cole comes up behind me, wraps his arms around my waist and lightly kisses my shoulder.

              “You sure you don’t want to go to the game today, baby?” he asks hoarsely. I turn around in his arms to see why he’s asking.
Is he mad?
He’s never mad if we skip one every once in a while.              

              With furrowed brows I ask, “Did you really want us to go? I already agreed to the play date. And the kids are super excited. They’d be disappointed if I backed out.”

              He looks at me for a beat, eyes probing.
What is going on in that head of his lately?
He finally answers with a giant exhale of breath, “Yeah, you’re right.”

I cup his face with both hands and pull him down for a heated kiss. Our tongues tangle, his grip tightens, and we moan into each other’s mouths. I can feel him harden against me. Just as things are getting good, we hear, “
Ewww
, gross!” When we turn around, we see Cady and Dyl gagging in the entryway. Cole and I burst out laughing. He bolts from the kitchen and proceeds to chase the kids around the house while I finish the lunches.

Once I’m done, I join in with the hunt, grab Cady and take her upstairs to get her dressed. Cole does the same with Dyl. By the time we’re done, it’s time for Cole to leave for his game. He gives the kids hugs and high fives at the door. I bring him his lunch and a reusable bag full of snacks for his team. He grabs everything and pulls my arm with them, kissing me senseless again.

“I love you so fucking much, Evie,” he says against my lips, with so much affection it weakens my knees.

              “And I love you, Coach Adams. Now get out of here and kick some ass!” I swat his and he laughs lightly.

He lingers in the doorway a bit, so I nod toward outside. He gives me another swift kiss and then finally walks out to his truck. I wave goodbye, shutting the door behind him. I stand with my back against it for a few minutes, wringing out my hands. I keep having this feeling in the pit of my stomach that something is wrong. I just have no idea what it could be. But before I can dig deeper into my thoughts, the kids rush me, telling me that it’s time to go meet Ben. I take a deep breath to rid any lingering tense thoughts.

Time to see Jake.

Again.

Eff
.

***

We’re standing outside Jake’s door, and I get a feeling of déjà vu.

Stupid dream
.

My face flushes as he answers the incessant knocking that my kids are partaking in. He laughs and says hello to the kids. Ben comes barreling through the door, practically knocking Jake over. I haven’t seen him this happy since I met him. It brings a huge smile to my face knowing my kids brought that out in him. Jake looks at me gratefully, silently thanking my kids for their role in Ben’s new attitude. I wink. Then curse inwardly for doing so.
Friendly not flirty, Evie
.

The kids start walking the few blocks toward the park, with Jake and I trailing behind. We haven’t said a word to each other yet. It isn’t awkward, though. It’s actually kind of nice. Jake breaks the silence first.

              “How are you doing today? I mean, after last night, with um—Cole and everything?” he asks nervously.
Why is he nervous?

              “Good. We’re good. I think he’s dropped it. Well, for now at least. Don’t think he’ll ever fully drop it.” We all cross the street and watch the kids race to the playground. Jake and I find an open picnic bench and sit down.

              “How do you feel about that?” Jake finally asks, peering up at me, waiting for my answer.

I sigh. Turning toward the kids, I watch them jump on the swings and push higher and higher. They look so free, so innocent. When I turn back to Jake, I find his eyes still on me. “Honestly, I don’t know.” And that’s the God’s honest truth. I
don’t
know. As if sensing my dark mood approaching, he swiftly changes the subject.

              “So, I read book two this week.” He says sheepishly, and looks really cute while saying it. He almost looks childlike, with bright eyes and a lopsided grin. I chuckle softly, my brooding thoughts forgotten for the moment.

With a raise of an eyebrow, I ask, “And what did you think?”

              “I thought I loved the first book. But the second one—was ridiculous. How could you end it like that? Now I have to wait for God knows how long to fucking find out who she picks,
if
she picks anyone at all. It pissed me off more times than not. But your words, the story kept reeling me in. I inhaled the book. I think it’s more than a love story, and it’s not just for women. It’s raw and emotional. I can tell how much you care for your characters, almost like they’re your family. There isn’t a bad guy. They’re all just real, flaws and all.” 

I stare at him, mouth wide open, completely taken aback. I mean, I’ve read some pretty good reviews on Amazon and Goodreads, but this—this was something else.
This man is something else
. And maybe that’s why his appraisal does things to my body that are more than a little confusing and distracting.

              I gulp. “Wow, that was—thank you.” Now it’s my turn to blush. I have never been good with compliments. They make me uncomfortable. “Well, since you are such an avid fan, I will give you a scoop that only you and my editor know.” I pause for suspense. He looks so stinking excited, it brings a ginormous smile to my face. “I am about ninety-eight percent done with the third and final book. I just have to finish the last few chapters. And to be honest,
I’m
still not sure who she’s going to pick. It’s too heartbreaking to choose. When I started out, I had a clear vision of who she was going to be with in the end. But as time wore on, I fell for both of those guys. I just don’t want to make the wrong decision, you know?”

The way Jake’s green eyes are piercing mine makes me sit up straighter. That lightheartedness from a minute ago is long gone.
What did I say?
He shakes his head and his eyes soften again.

              “You just have to let yourself
feel
, Evangeline. The right decision will come to you,” he says cryptically and sighs.

              I turn back to the kids, watching them go tandem down the bumpy slide.
Let yourself feel.
Why do I get the feeling he wasn’t just talking about my book?
Am I that transparent? Can he read my very inappropriate and shameful thoughts? Or is he thinking those same thoughts? Does he feel that pull, too?
It’s there—it’s been there since we met. I feel completely drawn to him. When he looks at me, I feel it everywhere. It makes my palms sweaty, my body tingle and shiver. It’s like I’m on effing vibrate. I can’t deny it.
I can’t
. I also can’t do anything about it. And I don’t want to. Okay, that may be bullshit. But I have Cole and he’s enough.

             
Ugh
. And this would be why I should’ve canceled this stupid mother effing play date. It feels like someone is wringing out my stomach like a wet dishtowel. I swear, being near Jake is gonna give me a damn ulcer.
Maybe I just need to eat something
.

              At that thought, the kids come barreling over to us, pink-cheeked, sweaty, and starved. They chatter away as I open the picnic basket and set out everyone’s lunch. Peanut butter, honey, and banana sandwiches for the kids, and a roast beef, swiss, avocado, and tomato combination on ciabatta rolls for Jake and I. We keep glancing at each other over our sandwiches, absentmindedly listening to the kids rattle on about school coming to an end soon.

              The scene feels domestic, intimate. It’s nice for a moment, but then I picture Cole. Once again, betrayal washes over me. My smile fades, and I quickly avert my eyes. The kids wolf down their food and drinks, racing back to the playground in record time, leaving Jake and I alone yet again. My heart is beating out of my chest so loudly that I’m worried he can hear it. I look up to him and meet his probing gaze.
Shit, can he really hear it?

              Deep breath in. I’m going to be taking a lot of those suckers during this outing. Then I remember this morning, and the fact that neither of us has mentioned it yet.
Should I?
I’m not so sure it’s a safe topic
. No. No, I’ll leave it
. But of course, it’s like Jake’s unfairly beautiful eyes can somehow read all of my frenzied thoughts, because he effing mentions it on his next breath.

“So, how long have you been doing yoga? You’re very—um—
good
.” I swear he blushes, but it disappears so quickly I’m not sure if I imagined it or not. His eyes are full of amusement again, and he’s wearing the cheekiest of grins. I love that look on him. Like. I
like
that look on him.

              “I started a year after my dad—you know. My therapist at the time suggested it. Thought it would help me cope. Push out the negative energy, bring in the positive. I’ve been doing it religiously ever since. How long have you been a peeping Tom?” I ask teasingly, trying to bring back that light that left Jake’s face when I mentioned my dad.
It worked
. He lets out a full-bellied laugh. I seriously love that sound.
Shit.
Like. I
like
that sound.

Very much.

              After the laughter wanes, through shining green eyes, he admits, “Yeah, I deserve that one. Though in my defense, it was almost impossible to take my eyes off of you.” The shine that glazed his eyes now turns into fire. I suck in a breath, holding it in until his eyes return back to that hypnotizing green.