False Regret: Pikorua - Book 1 (12 page)

“How
does my father figure into this?  I mean you said he was part of the plan to
protect me. Is that what you meant when you said he ruined your life?”

To
my surprise, Cade reached over and took my hand. “That’s the hard part, Ellia.
Your dad has no idea I am with the FBI. He doesn’t have a clue I am coming for
him. I don’t know what he thinks became of me, but he never went looking, which
worked in my favor. Through our investigation, we learned that your dad concocted
the entire conflict between the Blackballers and Camerson. The cartel paid him
big money to keep their crimes buried. The club also paid him hush money,
unbeknownst to Camerson. Your dad was working both sides. He’s a greedy man,
though, and he was the one skimming extra profit from the cartel. Camerson became
suspicious of him, so your dad had to cover his ass.” Cade stopped and exhaled.
I could feel the tension building in him.  “Your dad is the one who murdered my
mother, by his own hand, and started this war. He made it look like Camerson
was behind it while also managing to have it ruled a suicide by the police. Bradley
Meyers is the cause for the loss of countless innocent lives. Your fucking dad
is the reason I had to leave you.” He tossed my hand at me like it was toxic
and crossed his arms. The hate radiated off of him, and I wondered why he even
bothered to protect me. I was the daughter of a demon.

Shock
and devastation registered all over again. How could I be related to a man
capable of such unimaginable atrocities, yet there it was, the truth I’d begged
him to tell me. Cade continued. “Your father is still involved with the cartel,
like I already told you. They were working a big arms deal with the Austrian
mafia, and a whole new war is about to erupt if these men don’t get paid. You
are a link to your dad, and that’s why they want you. It’s why the FBI wants
you, too. Meyers needs to be brought to justice.”

 “What
about Sam and my mom?” I asked. I saw Agent Roberts look at Cade in the review
mirror.

Cade
shook his head, exhaled, and looked out the window. “We have not heard anything.
The people we have working this case on the inside have been unable to acquire
any information regarding their whereabouts. I will tell you as soon as we
receive any news.”

“Shit,”
said Roberts from the front seat.

“What
is it?” asked Cade.

“We’ve
got a tail.”

Cade
turned around and looked out the back window as Roberts sped up the SUV. The
black truck behind us also accelerated, nearly kissing our rear bumper.

“Keep
your seat belt on, Ellia, but get down below the windows,” ordered Cade, just
as the back window of the SUV shattered. Someone was shooting at us.

The
talent show had been a turning point for Cade at school. He became an even
greater local celebrity with the girls and each was determined to heal his
wounded soul. The flirting annoyed me, and I couldn’t wait to graduate. I
didn’t want to share Cade with anyone, and my jealousy and insecurities were
often the catalyst for the few arguments we ever had. Cade seemed oblivious to
the overt actions of the groupies that followed him like children with the pied
piper. He always kept me at the center of his world even when I got mired down
in anxiety about losing him to someone else. Even his cousin Jimmy stopped
harassing him, knowing full well that Cade had enough ability to achieve the
dream of becoming a professional musician.

As
homecoming approached, Maria, on behalf of the student council, asked Cade if
his band would play at the dance.  “I will have to ask them,” he said. “We’ve
played a lot of places but never a high school dance. It could be interesting.
You do realize they are out of high school, right?  You freaked out over my two
tattoos and ear piercings,” he laughed. “Wait ‘til you see these guys.”

“Well,
if they are as cute as you, I’m sure we can overlook the rest.” She laughed and
smiled at Cade with that
come hither
stare all the girls gave him. “May
I get a copy of your demo music to play for Mrs. Cash? She ultimately has to
approve it. I mean, personally, I don’t care about your band being older, but I
will inform Mrs. Cash.”

Maria’s
flirting with Cade was blatant, and I wondered how Will would feel about such a
display. She and Will were officially dating, even though no one had bothered
to tell me. I heard about it from a gossipy sophomore girl in the school bathroom.
She also informed me Maria and Will hooked-up at parties, long before our
separation, and I should’ve been angry at then both for the betrayal.  I
wasn’t. Maria having sex with Will kept him off me, so in a way, I looked at it
as a favor. I never told Maria I’d found out about her and Will’s deception; I
didn’t see the point in making things awkward.  My group of friends no longer
existed for me outside of school, anyway. The only thing I cared about was Cade.
I obsessed on him and might have been classified a stalker if he didn’t seem to
share the same preoccupation with me.

Cade
brought in a CD for Maria the next day. It looked professional. “Wow,” she said.
“This looks like the real deal you would buy at the store. Do you sell these?”

“We
have in the past,” he said. “Brax, our bass player, works in the music industry
and got us a recording session in a studio. We all pitched in some money to
have the cover made. We recorded around fifteen-hundred copies, and we still
have about three-hundred left.” He chuckled. “We over-estimated our fans, I
guess.”

“You
should bring them to sell at the dance. What a great way to get your name out
there and share your music. These things will be worth a ton of money when you
are famous.” She put her hand on his arm. It looked like an invitation to
something, and I wanted to rip her red nails out their beds.

“I’ll
see what the guys wants to do,” he said laughing and moving his appendage out
from under her claw.

Mrs.
Cash approved the band, once Cade explained that they would edit any explicit
lyrics to make the music school appropriate.  Cade, after a lot of begging, got
the green light from his band members. They didn’t play high school dances,
finding it beneath them, but he managed to persuade them. He was so excited, he
couldn’t stop talking about it. He missed his band and couldn’t wait to
re-connect with them.

 Maria
and Ashley invited me to go dress shopping with them which I almost declined.
Cade convinced me to tag along with them, and I figured it was to avoid having to
escort me himself. Expecting the day with my old gal pals to be awkward, I was
pleasantly surprised when we ended up having a great time.  Maria fessed up
about her liaisons with Will when he was still technically mine, apologizing profusely,
and I forgave her. It was that easy.  

The
sexy dress, Maria and Ashley insisted I buy, was a success, judging by Cade’s
reaction the night of the dance. When he arrived to collect me, his eyes lit up,
and a smile covered his face.  “You are absolutely gorgeous, Ellia” he said,
holding back on the kiss we both wanted to share. My mother was standing there
with a camera in hand.

“You
look very nice too, Cade,” my mom gushed. “Even with all those earrings, you are
dashing in a suit.”

Cade
laughed. “Thanks, Mrs. Meyers.”

My
mother took pictures of us until I finally told her that was enough, we had to
go. Cade left his motorcycle in the driveway and drove my truck.  Once we were
away from the house and my mom’s prying eyes, he pulled over to the shoulder of
the road. “You really do look beautiful,” he said, giving me the most longing gaze
I’d ever seen. He kissed me sensually, making me want to rip off my dress and
get busy with him right there on the side of the street. “I’m going to have a
hard time concentrating on stage knowing you are out there in the crowd without
me.”

“I
will be close by, watching you, while dancing to your amazing music. I can’t
wait to see you perform with your band. You are going to be great,” I said. “We
should go, though, they are probably waiting for you.” I would’ve been happy to
skip the dance and head somewhere where we could be alone, but he had
obligations.

We
arrived as
Unraveled
unloaded the last of the equipment. We were two
hours early for the dance to help set up the stage. Student council was
finishing decorating the gym as Cade introduced his band members to them. The
outlandish group of young men, created a curiosity that reflected in the faces
of our classmates. Brax, the bass player, had long black hair that reached his
jeans which were slung low, revealing a pair of boxers with footballs on them.
Nice
touch for a homecoming dance,
I thought. He had his eyebrows, nose, and lip
pierced with full tattooed sleeves of dragons and half naked women running down
his arms. Scott, the drummer, had a short blonde mop, spiked with purple tips.
He had piercings on his nose and chin and a huge stud through his tongue. The
words,
don’t tread on me,
were inked on his neck, and several more tats
ran the length of his arms. The other guitarist was strangest of all. His name
was Jinx, just Jinx, no last name at all. His tresses formed a rainbow Mohawk
that stood over six inches tall, and his ear lobes sagged with giant gauges
that brushed his shoulders and emitted a terrible odor. A long goatee decorated
his chin which he had separated into three plaited sections ending in large
African beads. He also had an eyebrow piercing and several devilish looking tats
that resembled flames and ran all the way onto his fingers. It was as if a
freak show had arrived in our red-neck town. I could see Mrs. Cash staring at
the band, uncertainty plaguing her features as the principal seemed to scold
her for allowing such riff-raff into our school.

The
guys were polite and well-spoken with our supervisors, and the principal finally
calmed himself after taking Cade and his mates outside for a little chat. I helped
them set up the equipment, the best I could in a backless dress and high heeled
shoes. The staging was elaborate, complete with multi-colored lighting and a
sound board. Two technicians ran the entire show from that panel, adjusting
sound and illuminations as necessary.

“Wow,”
I said to Cade. “This is really quite a big deal. You guys look like a professional
band. How did you ever afford all this equipment?”

“We
were a professional band, Ellia.” He chuckled, not seeming offended by my
comment. “We played a lot of big venues and made pretty decent money, but my
dad funded most this equipment. Even though I’ve temporarily left the band, I
let them use the gear. They’ve had a guy filling in for me, but I retain all the
rights to my music. It’s all legal and binding, another courtesy of my dad and
his lawyer. He believes in my music almost more than I do.” He shuffled his
feet nervously. “Um … I need to tell you something, Ellia, and I am not sure
how you will feel about it. The band wants me to go down to the Big D on the
weekends and play with them again. I am thinking about doing it. The guy they
hired isn’t really working out for them. I mean, it’s only a two and a half hour
drive, and it might be worth it to keep our name out there. I can stay with one
of the guys while I’m there, so it’ll only cost me gas money and food. Of
course, I have to get my aunt to agree to it. She has legal custody of me until
I turn eighteen, and she’s vehemently opposed to my setting foot in Detroit.”

I
stared at him, shocked and a little hurt. He had never mentioned it to me until
then. I wasn’t even aware he was keeping in close touch with his band. Not once
had he talked about them or shared one of their conversations with me.  Just when
I thought I knew every detail about Cade, something new always surfaced. Every
single aspect of my life, past and present, had been unveiled to him, and I
hated feeling like I didn’t know him at all.  
Maybe he has a totally secret
life of which you know nothing, ever think of that?
I asked myself.
 
Jealous
insecurities filled my fixated brain.

I
took a step back from him, forming the indignant posture he knew so well. “So
you will be gone every weekend, then?” Even though I sounded like a pouting
child. I didn’t want him out of my sight.
What if he meets another girl,
Ellia, a girl better than you? What if he stays down there and forgets all
about you?
Self-doubting tears sprang to my eyes.

Cade
took my hands in his and kissed my cheek. “You have nothing to worry about,
babe. I love you and only you. You can go with me any time you want. Your dad
lives there, right?” I nodded. “Well, you could stay with him and then go to my
gigs with me.” He stared at me, searching my face for truth. “I won’t do it if
you don’t want me to, though. I won’t let it come between us.”

As
selfish as I wanted to be with him, I could never deny him his passion. This
was his dream and most likely his future. I couldn’t rob him of that because I
was insecure about him being away from me.

“No,
I’m sorry. I am being stupid; of course you should go. You made a very mature
and responsible choice in deciding to finish high school before taking your music
to the next level. It’s important to keep the momentum of your band, and I will
support whatever you want to do.” I bestowed a light kiss on his lips.

“To
be honest with you about my mature and responsible choices, Ellia, the main
reason I turned down the recording contract was a promise I made to my mom
before she died. When I started this band, she worried I would drop out and
chase my dream. She made me swear I would finish high school, no matter what,
and then at least consider college. My dad basically forced me to move north,
leaving me no choice but to put the band on hold.  I could’ve just taken the contract
despite my parents’ wishes, but I would’ve never felt right about it. They always
looked out for my best interest, so I had to trust them.” He paused a moment
and squeezed my hands. “It was the best decision, in the end, because I found
you. I would give up my music if that’s what you wanted. You come first for me,
babe. I don’t know what will happen when we graduate, and it scares me, knowing
that you will be off to college. I have a lot of things to consider about my own
future, but the most important thing is finding what works to keep us together.”

I
couldn’t believe he offered to trash his life’s dream for me—stupid, insecure,
me. Never would I ask that of him. “Cade, if we are meant to be together, it’ll
work out for us. You would end up hating me if I tried to hold you back from what
you love, so I would never do that to you. It’s only October, so we have a lot
of months to think about what we are going to do about college, but right now, you
need to be a musician.” I kissed him again, and he backed me up behind the
speakers so Mrs. Cash wouldn’t see us.

“Hey,
get a room,” said Scott, the drummer, walking past. We stopped kissing and
laughed, both knowing that someday soon we would.

“I
better go back to work,” said Cade, hugging me again.

Sitting
on the bleachers, I watched them do a sound check and tune-up the guitars. Cade
removed his suit jacket, the lights making him too warm, and his silver tie was
loose around his neck. He had undone the top two buttons of his white dress
shirt, drawing my eyes to the hollow space on his neck, that when kissed, drove
him crazy. Watching him made my heart ache. I didn’t want to think about the
future. One of us would have to give up something to continue our relationship.
The thought of being without him, forced my stomach to twist into sour knots. Two
months prior, Cade intended to go to college to obtain that business degree
he’d placated my mother with, but he’d been having second thoughts. Before
then, I didn’t realize he’d been in contact with his band, but now it made
perfect sense. Whether it was the band’s influence or not, he missed the music.
My mother would kill me, but I knew I would dump college and go on the road
with him if he asked.  It was crazy thinking. I’d worked my entire high school
career to get into a good college, but this boy ruled my heart. I would do
anything to hang on to him, and it frightened me to grasp how much power he had
over me. I’d always thought myself above such silly emotions, and now I was
ready to drown myself in them. Cade Cantrell was my Pikorua. He was my
beginning and the only place I ever wanted to end.