Family Counsel (The Samuel Collins Series Book 2) (24 page)

I was on a gurney with a squeaky, clunking wheel, and it made a
soothing rhythmic pattern as I floated down the corridor. 
Squeak, clunk;
squeak clunk.
It was comforting to know that there would be a
clunk
after every
squeak.

Somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I could hear a
conversation between Felicia and Earl, but it sounded like a recording being
played in slow motion.  Like their batteries were going out, and each syllable was
being stretched into a conversation of its own.  Lights seemed to flicker on
and off as I tried to process the world through one eye.  And then everything
was plunged into darkness.

“Mr. Collins,” someone whispered.  “Can you hear me, Mr.
Collins?”

Someone was calling my dad.

“Samuel, wake up!” Maddie was calling, patting my cheek, first
gently, then with a good hard smack that brought me out of my stupor. It wasn’t
Maddie and my dad wasn’t there.

“Where are we?” I asked groggily.

“We’re in a storeroom,” Felicia said.

“In a storeroom
where
?” I clarified.

“Serenity.”

Earl poked his head in front of my face.  “How you feeling, Mr.
Collins?”

“My dad is Mr. Collins.  And I feel like crap. How’d you get here?”
I asked confused.

“I was across the street from your office when I called ya, and
I saw ya getting’ in a car with a lady who had a gun.  So I followed ya here.
Woulda called the cops, but my battery died and I didn’t wanna stop ‘cause I
didn’t wanna lose ya.  Had plenty of gas though ‘cause I still got the Prius.
It’s parked outside.”

“We need to find a phone and call Niki Lautrec,” I said.

I got myself into a sitting position, and after a brief discussion,
the consensus was to send Felicia to find a phone, make some calls and come
back to the storeroom.

      “I’ve got the master key,” she said. “Maybe I can get in
an administrative office. They should be gone at this hour. And we can find the
files on my brother while we’re here.”

Felicia cracked the door and looked both ways, then she slipped
out of the storeroom.  Earl took up her position at the door and gave me a
running commentary.

“She’s goin’ down the hall . . . She’s comin’ to the corner . .
.  She’s backed against the wall and is lookin’ around the corner . . . Okay,
she’s gone around the corner.  I can’t see her no more.”

The commentary ended but he kept watching the hall, then almost
immediately, “She’s back and she’s runnin’!  There’s a security guard!”

I could hear footsteps and then, “Stop or I’ll shoot!”

Through the crack in the door, I saw Felicia fly past the
storeroom, and Earl said, “I got this.”  He threw open the door just as the
guard got there, and stuck out his massive arm, and close-lined the guard. The
guy never knew what hit him.  His head jolted back, his feet flew out from
under him and he landed sprawled out on the hall floor before us, out cold.
Earl pulled the guy inside and Felicia slipped in and closed the door, then
leaned against it for support.  She doubled over, holding her side, then she
burst out laughing. 

“That was great!” she exclaimed. “You were brilliant!” she told
Earl.  She sounded like Niki.

Earl had a smile on his face that was as big as David Robinson.  He unstrapped the guard’s gun belt and checked out the weapon.

“You know how to use that thing?” I asked.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Point and shoot?”

“Good enough.”

Earl tied the guard up with extension cords and stuck a rag in
his mouth, then with lots of assistance, I changed out of my clothes and into
the guard’s uniform.  The shoes were warm and clammy and it grossed me out. The
effort left me spent, and I had to lie down on the gurney.  The room was
spinning, my head was pounding and my left arm was going numb.

“What floor are we on? I asked, and Felicia looked to Earl.

“Two.”

There was no way I could make it down the stairs and it was too
risky to take the elevator, so I made a snap decision.

“You two go without me. Get the hell out of the building, find
a phone, and call the police. Then call Niki Lautrec. I’ll be fine in here
until the cops get here.”

“I didn’t follow you all the way here just to leave you in a
closet,” Earl said. He was in my face and even though I could only see out of
one eye, I was seeing double. “Now, I know you got a thing about being carried
around, but I’m gonna to pick you up and I’m going to carry your ass down the
stairs. But we ain’t gonna tell no one.” He looked to Felicia for confirmation.
“Ain’t that right?”

Felicia’s two heads nodded. “Pinky promise,” she said, hooking
her little finger around mine.

 And before I could argue, Earl had picked me up and tossed me
over his shoulder like a sack of feed, and we were out in the hall.

We sneaked down the hall, at least as much as a flaming
red-head and a 7-foot black man carrying a passed out security guard could
sneak, and made our way to the stairwell at the end of the hall.  I had no idea
where we were in the building, but I hoped there was an exit to the outside. 
No such luck. The stairwell came out next to a dining room, presumably in one
of the residence wings.  I had no concept of time, but it must have been after
hours, because the lights were low and the dining room was deserted.  I was
fighting to stay awake, and in the back of my mind I had a notion that if I
succumbed to the will to sleep, I might never wake up.

We went into the dining room and Earl set me down in a chair. 
The force sent the chair rolling backwards into a partition which clattered to
the ground, breaking the silence with a terrible racket.  We froze, waiting for
someone to come see what had happened, but either no one was around, or nobody
cared.

“Can you walk?” Earl asked.

As much as I wanted to buck-up and be a man, it just wasn’t
going to happen.

“I don’t think so,” I admitted.  I was just so damn tired.  All
I wanted to do was sleep.

“Look!” exclaimed Felicia.  “A wheelchair!” 

She disappeared and reappeared and it made me think of Oliver’s
question,
Is there such a thing as magic? 
With Earl’s assistance, I
made it into the wheelchair, then slumped down, unable to hold myself erect. 
Earl led the way in his Capri pants with Felicia pushing me in the chair.

“It’s this way,” Earl said, pointing toward an exit door that I
recognized as one that came off the main lobby. And just as I thought that we
might actually make a get-away, an alarm sounded simultaneously as an automated
voice came over the PA: “
Emergency Lockdown.
”  Red lights started
flashing above the exit door and there were three loud clicks as automatic
locks activated, sealing our path to freedom.

The three of us froze, looking around for an escape route.

“In here,” Felicia whispered.

She had unlocked a door to an office and we were slipping
inside, just as three men in suits rounded the corner coming in our direction –
Mrs. M’s henchmen.

“There they are!” one of them shouted.

“Point and shoot!” I croaked, my voice barely audible.

Earl stuck his arm out the door and fired in the men’s general
direction, then closed and locked us in the office.  He moved the desk to bar
the door, while I tried to muster the energy to get to my feet.

“Can we get out the window?” I asked.

I was standing on shaky legs, but I was vertical.

Earl picked up a chair and hurled it at the window, and it
broke into a million pieces.  Tempered glass tinkled down like rain, just as
the first bullet came through the door.  It whizzed past me and lodged in the
wall not a foot from Earl’s head.

“Get out of here!” I told Felicia, and I pushed her toward the
window.  She was halfway out when a set of headlights came into view from the
entry gate.  And then they were beating down the door. 

Earl turned the gun toward the door and popped off a few more
shots. Felicia disappeared through the window, then a scream was immediately
cut short and muffled.  It sounded like pandemonium had broken loose out in the
hall.  There was a pop, pop, pop of an automatic assault rifle, and I knew it
was over.  I’d never make it out of the building alive.

“Go on!” I told Earl.

“I’m not leaving without you,” he said, and he picked me up and
literally threw me out the window.  I hit the ground outside, just as the room
exploded behind me.

“Earl!” I tried to yell, but either nothing came out, or I just
couldn’t hear myself over the ringing in my ears. 

There was dust and smoke and debris raining down on top of me
and I tried to crawl away from the building.  And then there was darkness.

Maddie was there, and Oliver and Max and Morgan. And then the
darkness was replaced by a brilliant white light.  It was shining in my eyes,
and it was beckoning to me.  “
Come home . . . come home
. . .”

“Come on, Sam.  Wake up!”

Someone was shaking me like a ragdoll.  I blinked and managed
to open my eye.

“Niki,” I said with relief.  “About fucking time.” And that was
it.

I woke up and there were wires sprouting from my arms, legs and
chest, and I was hooked up to an IV. I had no idea where I was or how I’d
gotten there.  Everything hurt. There was a guy in the bed next to me, bandaged
up like a mummy, making gurgling sounds.  I was feeling like I needed to make a
run for it, when the door opened and this hot chick walked in carrying a bag of
food. Apparently, the mummy had a visitor. The girl gave me an amazing smile and
came over and stood beside my bed, and I was like a goose imprinting on its
mother - it was love at first sight.

“You’re awake!” she said.  “How do you feel?”

“Good,” I said, which was about as far from the truth as it
could get. I tried to sit, but it wasn’t happening. “Where am I?” I asked
groggily.  

“You’re still in the hospital,” she said, and she ran her
fingers gently across my forehead and cheek. My skin tingled where she touched
me. I wondered if she was the mummy’s wife and I looked over at him thinking
how lucky he was. She followed my gaze.

“They didn’t have a private room,” she whispered. “As soon as
one opens up, they’ll move you.” 

“Oh,” I said vaguely, but I found myself hoping the no-vacancy
situation would be maintained if she came with the deal. I fished my arm out
from under the covers and introduced myself. “I’m Samuel Collins,” I said,
extending my hand.

She got a funny look on her face, and said, “Whale of course
you are,” then she kissed the back of my hand and held it to her cheek. “I’ll
be right back.  Let me tell the doctor you’re awake again.”

I must have dozed off, but when I woke up again, the hot chick
and the doctor were both in my room. The doc gave me the once-over and asked me
some standard questions. I told him my name, birthday, where I was born, where
I lived . . .

“Nope, never been married.”  I looked at the hot chick to make
sure she’d heard that part, on the off chance she was the mummy’s sister.  She
and the doc exchanged a look, then the girl stepped closer and introduced
herself.

“Samuel, it’s Maddie.”

“Nice to meet you, Maddie,” I said, and I’m sure she could tell
from the ridiculous smile on my face how much I meant it.  Then I decided I
might as well see where I stood. “Is he a relative?” I asked, motioning to the
mummy.

She looked at the mummy then back at me, and shook her head.  “I
don’t know him,” she finally said, and I did a fist pump in my head. Things
were definitely looking up.

“Oh. So you work here?” I asked, but before she could answer,
the doc asked to see her in the hall.

I could hear snippets of conversation:
. . . blow to the
head . . . trauma . . . heavily medicated  . . . cases like this . . . sure to .
. . around . . . the pain pills.
They were definitely talking about me, so
I decided the hot chick - Maddie - must be a social worker or something like
that, and I wondered if the hospital had a policy prohibiting staff from dating
patients.

They came back in and the first thing the doc said was, “What
would you say if I told you that you were married and had three children?”

What the hell?
  Was he intentionally trying to sabotage
any chance I had of getting a date with the hot chick?  I looked at her and
vigorously shook my head.

“I’d say you had the wrong guy. I don’t even like kids.”  

Maddie laughed.  Guess she didn’t like kids either. I needed to
ditch the doc so I could talk to her in private. I finally got my wish.  The
doc left and I was alone with Maddie.

“Samuel, I want you to listen carefully and think hard about
what I’m saying.” She sounded like she was talking to a kid.  She had my rapt
attention.  “I’m your wife, and we have three kids.  Do you remember that?”

I could play this game all day.  “Can we lose the kids and just
pretend you’re my wife?” I countered.

She was holding my hand and looking me right in the eye, and I
have to say it was more than a little unsettling. I was thinking that I’d love
to kiss her, and she must have read my mind, because she leaned over and kissed
me on the lips.

When she pulled back, she asked, “Do you remember me?” with a
hopeful look on her face.

I thought for a second. “I’m not sure. Let me try that again,”
I said, and I went for round two, but she stopped me before I could get
started.

“I’m your wife, Samuel. And we’ve got three kids,” then she
added, “And three cats.”

I pointed at her and laughed out loud.  “Now I
know
you’re
shitting me! I would
never
have three cats!  But I really like you,” I
said, reaching out for her. “Can I take you out for coffee or lunch or
something?” It came out much whinier than I had intended.

She let out a big breath. “Sure,” she said, and I was so elated
that I would have jumped off the bed had I had the wherewithal. As it was, I
couldn’t muster the energy to do much more than reach for her hand.  I could
feel my eyes closing and no matter how much I fought to keep them open, they
were having no part of it.

The next time I woke up, or at least the next time I remember
waking up, my mom was sitting in a chair by my bed.  They had moved either me
or the mummy to a different room, because I was solo.  The IV was gone.

“Hey, mom.”

She smiled and stood up.  “Hi, honey.  How do you feel?” she
asked.

I tried to stretch out my arms and legs, but it felt like
rubber bands were keeping them from straightening.  “Okay, I guess.  Really
thirsty.” 

She filled a cup with water from a plastic pitcher, stuck a
straw in it, and held it up to my mouth.  I slurped it down in one go and lay
my head back on the pillow.

“What am I doing here?”

“You don’t remember?” she asked.

I shook my head.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” she asked.

“Waking up in this room,” I said.  I looked around.  “Or maybe
a different room . . . I don’t know.  I had a roommate who was all bandaged up
. . .”

“That’s good,” Mom said optimistically.

And from the foggy depths of my mind, there was a vision. “. .
.  and there was a nurse,” I said, and as the vision came into focus, I could
feel a smile spread across my face.  “No, she wasn’t a nurse . . . a social
worker or something. I’m pretty sure I asked her out,” I said.  “How long have
I been here?”

“Four days.”

“Four days!  What the hell?  Hospitals don’t keep people for
four days. What happened to me?”

Mom looked decidedly uncomfortable, and after some uhmming and
ahhhing, she excused herself to go in search of my father, padding off in her
orthopedic shoes without answering my question.  I racked my brain trying to
remember what horrendous event had landed me in the hospital for four days, but
came up blank. I decided a stroll might clear my head, so I removed the heart
monitor, setting off a loud and continuous beep, then I raised the bed to a
sitting position and maneuvered my legs over the side of the bed.  I shuffled
out of my room and had just passed the nurse’s station when one of the nurses
called out.

“Excuse me, sir. Where do you think you’re going?”

I turned around, ready with a smartass comment, but decided
otherwise. She was built like a linebacker.

“Just going for a stroll,” I said, with my most charming boyish
smile.

“You’re up!” said a voice from behind me. 

I turned around and it was the hot chick; my heart rate picked
up instantly and an idiotic smile took possession of my face.

“Hey!” I exclaimed. “It’s Maddie, right?”

“That’s right,” she said encouragingly.

I turned her around and steered us away from the nurse’s
station before the linebacker could intercept me and make me go back to my
room.

“Can I buy you a coffee or a soda or something?” I asked,
trying to contain my enthusiasm.

“I’d like that,” she said, with a genuine smile.

“Like now?”

“Now would be great,” she said, and she slipped her hand in
mine as we walked to the elevator.

I knew my attraction to this girl was ridiculous, but I
couldn’t help it. I was trying hard not to scare her off with my unchecked
feelings, and it only got worse when we got in the elevator.  I had this déjà
vu feeling come over me and I wanted badly to kiss her right then and there.
She moved in next to me and rested her head against my chest and my longing for
her literally made my heart hurt.  And all I could think was that I couldn’t
wait to get to know this woman.

I somehow made it to the cafeteria without molesting her or
asking her to marry me, and we were going through  the food line when I
realized I had no pants.

“I might need to borrow some money?” I told Maddie.

“Oh, you think?” She looked me up and down and laughed.  “Yeah,
I see you don’t have any pockets in your hospital gown.”

We got two coffees and headed towards a table by the window.
I’m not one to wear my feelings on my sleeve, so I can only attribute my lapse
to whatever landed me in the hospital in the first place, but I couldn’t keep
my big mouth shut.  I set my coffee down on the table.  

“I’m so attracted to you, Maddie, it’s ridiculous, and when I
get out of here, I’d very much like to get to know you.  Like on a real date.
At a nice restaurant. And I’ll pay.”

If she was offended, she didn’t show it.  She just smiled.

“Will you go on a date with me?” I asked.

But before she could answer, a little blond kid came running
over to the table and wrapped himself around my legs. “Daddy!”

“Oliver! How’s my boy!” I exclaimed, rumpling his hair. And
then I froze.

And I just stood there, staring at Maddie . . . staring at my
wife
. . . and letting it sink in. “Samuel?” Maddie said tentatively.

“I have three cats,” I said.

“I know!” Maddie laughed, and she threw her arms around my
neck. 

I took in her scent in gulping breaths, my thoughts reeling, as
I tried to sort things out. I was mortified that I’d forgotten my own wife, and
at the same time, I was tremendously stoked that I was married to the hot
chick.

“What an idiot,” I finally said. “I’m so sorry, Maddie.”

“Sorry?” she said, pulling back and looking at me. “Sorry for
what? None of this was your fault, Samuel.”

“I had the hots for my own wife.”

“I know!  That was so cute.”

I sat down and put Oliver in a bear hug, and when I finally
released him, he pulled back and studied my face.

“You have an eyelash in your nose.”