Family of Lies: Sebastian (34 page)

“Gods no, but with these kicking feet, she’ll be quite the athlete when she grows up,” Ellie said.

“And she’ll squirm her widdle way into James’s widdle heart.” Pratchett pretended to be shot in the heart with an arrow. Still laughing at his own jokes, Pratchett choked when James snatched his collar and slammed him face-first onto the table.

Without breaking conversation, James leaned his elbow into Pratchett’s back so he couldn’t move. “Maybe we can paint Valkyries in her room when I get back.”

Ellie laughed again. “Maybe, but I have to go. I’m being kidnapped to be the fertility goddess during the Phoenix Walk. Don’t eat too much, and let Pratchett breathe!”

“Save me leftovers!” James shouted into the mirror as celebration drowned out his wife. There was sudden silence, and the mirror went dark. James pouted and gave the mirror back to Diana. “They always have the best fun during Winter Solstice.”

“Don’t worry, next year we’ll stay at your inn,” Lord Orwell said.

James blinked. “What?”

“This house is becoming too small for so many people during the holidays. Next year, your place will be perfect.”

“You don’t have to do that, Father. If I’m not here, then you’ll have a free room.”

Lord Orwell frowned. “Are you saying that you don’t want us to come?”

“He’s saying that you guys are embarrassing during normal days and even worse during holidays,” Demetrius said. “Honestly, if I had a getaway, I would do it too.”

“That’s not what he’s saying,” Lady Orwell broke in. “James loves our company. In fact, we should visit him more if he feels like his presence is such a burden to us.” She stretched her hand out to her oldest son. “We have to get rid of such foolish beliefs somehow.”

James sighed heavily. “Of course that’s what I meant.”

“Demetrius, slice the meat if you have nothing better to do than ramble,” Lady Orwell ordered.

“Which part of the chicken—I mean turkey—do you want, James?” Demetrius asked.

“A leg is fine,” James said.

“Ow, don’t take it out on my spine!” Pratchett cried out.

“Let him go so we can eat,” Lord Orwell said.

James lifted his elbow, and Pratchett groaned loudly, clutching his back as he sat down.

“All right,” Lady Orwell said. “Gather hands and bless the meal for the beginning of a fruitful year.”

S
EBASTIAN
ROLLED
his eyes while Kraven drank deeply from his goblet just as it had been refilled. Once it was emptied, Kraven held it up again.

“You can pour again.”

“Stop being a greedy lush,” Diana said.

“Pratchett finished half of the bottle. If I don’t get a second glass now, I never will,” Kraven said.

“Rebecca, Alice, that is not cheap whiskey, and we are not at a drinking contest.” Lady Orwell glared at her two daughters going through expensive liquor faster than their brothers were devouring the wine.

“I’ll stop when she stops,” Rebecca said just as Alice filled another tumbler.

Luke smiled and shook his glass in Mernon’s direction.

Mernon crossed his arms and said, “The day I’m dumb enough to try out-drinking an incubus is the day I walk to a cemetery and ask to be buried right then and there.”

Luke turned to his husband, but Kevin snorted and beckoned Sebastian forward with the wine. “You idiots can wake up with a hangover while I sleep like a bear.”

“If you’re looking for a drinking mate, I might be willing if you’re down for a wager,” Lord Orwell said.

Luke pursed his lips while thinking about it.

Kevin laughed. “If you’re that foolish, go for it. Father probably swallowed a potion before he came downstairs.”

“That is an insult to my honor,” Lord Orwell said. “Don’t make excuses for your man if he can’t hack it against the elderly.”

“Definitely swallowed a potion,” Sebastian muttered.

Lord Orwell glared at Sebastian. “Why are you babbling when dessert hasn’t been served yet? Off with you!”

Sebastian gave the wine bottle to Kraven and left as Luke clinked his glass against Lord Orwell’s.
At least if the idiots are distracted, then I can spend extra time with the cooling pies. Two years I’ve baked the damn things, and two years I haven’t gotten a single serving because you bastards went at them like dogs.
“Third time’s the charm,” Sebastian whispered, carefully cutting out a steaming berry-laden slice for himself. Using his magic to cool it slightly, Sebastian ate it quickly and moved on to a second pie. He used a different knife so he wouldn’t mar the pristine white topping or light green lime filling beneath it. The first fluffy bite melted on Sebastian’s tongue, and he congratulated himself for catching up to Margaret’s skills. The dining room grew loud with cheers, so Sebastian assumed Luke had won the bet. After the last bite, Sebastian unabashedly picked up both disturbed pies and joined his family.

“You put something in the wine!” Lord Orwell pointed to Diana, who innocently adjusted her sleeves.

“Why would I do anything like that?”

“Evened the score is more like it,” James said, laughing. “I should have known there was a reason Diana added in a few bottles of her personal stash.”

Sebastian put the pies down and backed away, hoping he could make it to his room.

“Sebastian!” their mother shouted in horror. “How could you?”

“They baked like that,” Sebastian lied.

Pratchett looked at the pies and then turned to Sebastian. “You took out damn near a quarter of each pie, you ass!”

Sebastian rolled his eyes. “I ate nowhere near that much, and my portions were fair.”

Kevin pointed his fork at Sebastian. “Fair or not, no seconds for you.”

Sebastian returned to his chair and rubbed his belly. “I’m full, so that’s fine with me.” He glanced at Ophelia, who had been silent the whole night. “Are you all right?” he asked.

Ophelia shook her head. “It’s only a headache. I’ll take medicine for it after we finish.”

Lord Orwell frowned. “How long have you had it?”

Ophelia rubbed her temples. “For most of the night.”

Their father reached out and touched her forehead. Horror dawned on his face, and his breathing deepened. “Oh, fuck me.” He yanked his hand back and stood up so quickly his chair fell. “Diana, get her to her room and bar the door behind you. Alice, put the children with them. Sebastian, your cloak now!” Lord Orwell shouted.

“Is he here?” Lady Orwell asked.

“That bastard is warding the whole damn house so Ophelia can’t get a vision.”

“Trenton Keyes is here?” Sebastian asked, sharing worried looks with his siblings.

“Yes, now put on your damn cloak!” Lord Orwell yelled.

Sebastian ran to his room while Ophelia and the children were herded into hers. He had his cloak on in no time and ran back downstairs.

“Everyone stay seated and act normal,” Lord Orwell instructed.

Pratchett shrugged. “I can do normal.” He pulled the lime pie closer to him, and Kevin shook his head.

“Really?”

Pratchett held the knife over the pie for a reasonable slice but moved it for a wider chunk. “If you don’t want any, fine with me.”

“I still want a piece,” Kraven said.

“Let them be, Kevin,” James said. “It’s better than them pretending to be considerate.”

“Why don’t we run?” Rebecca asked.

“We won’t make it,” Lady Orwell said. “He probably has most directions closed off.”

“Most?” Kevin asked.

“He won’t let his army near the forest,” Lord Orwell said. “An understandable precaution with a magical land that doesn’t like intruders.”

“He’ll just walk up to the door and knock?” Sebastian asked.

“If he doesn’t consider us to be a threat, yes.”

Pratchett raised his glass to Kraven. “Here’s hoping we don’t get killed.”

James bent and grabbed both their drinks. “Your drinking is done for the night. We need your heads clear.”

Lord Orwell snatched the bottles and handed them to Sebastian. “Put them and the food up. Kraven, grab the playing cards and we’ll distract ourselves before he’s here.”

Pratchett scooped the knife in the other pie and snatched a large piece as Kraven tried to take it.

“You are such a glutton,” Kevin said, shaking his head.

“Mother is doing it too,” Pratchett whined. Everyone turned and saw Lady Orwell had procured the whiskey bottle from Rebecca and Alice. She filled her wineglass to the brim and drank it down as quickly as Kraven had.

“I’m kind of impressed,” James said.

“I actually am too.” Diana watched their mother gulp the last drop and put her goblet down.

“I know that bitch is with him, and this is the only way I won’t poison all of them,” Lady Orwell said. “How dare they come to my home uninvited.”

Lord Orwell groaned. “Diana, keep an eye on your mother’s hands.”

“Why should I? I’m fine with poisoning them.”

“James, keep an eye on your sister and your mother.”

“Great, that’s going to be fun,” James said.

“We don’t kill any of them unless we can kill all of them,” Lord Orwell said. “And that’s a lot of bodies even for us.”

“There might be a reward for their heads,” Demetrius said.

Sebastian watched his family and wondered if he should say anything about scrying for Trenton, or that Turren would be expecting a communication. His father’s bald spot glistened with sweat, and Sebastian opened his mouth just as Diana cleared her throat.

“I agree that none of us should do anything hasty,” she said.

Sebastian closed his mouth and cleared the table. He got everything wrapped up in the spelled cabinets and ate another slice of lime pie to relieve his worry. Maybe Turren wouldn’t react to his silence by coming to their property.
Gods, this is going to be bad
, Sebastian thought. He went into the living room, and everything looked like a normal Solstice night.

Kraven had come back with multiple card decks and put them on the table. Diana grabbed them and doled out cards to each person. Sebastian sat down and waited for the game to start.

“Same rules,” their father said. “Hands on the table, leave the table for latrine breaks only, and there are to be no alliances.”

Kevin snorted. “Not all of us cheat like you do, Father.”

“Enough of you do,” Lord Orwell said.

An hour passed with James and Emily hoarding large piles of winnings and everyone else frowning at much smaller piles. There was a knock at the door, and everyone stopped. Lord Orwell stood and motioned everyone to keep playing. He straightened his collar, took a deep breath, and opened the door. “Trenton?”

“Good Solstice,” a hearty voice said from outside. “I’m sorry to inconvenience you, but I was on the road and can’t find a place to spend the night. I know it’s late on a holiday, but do you mind putting us up for the night?”

“Of course not. How could I?” Lord Orwell asked jovially. “It will be a tight fit, but I’ll make room. Come inside, and ah, Dalia and Feoras, I didn’t see you there.”

Lady Orwell clenched her fingers around her cards.

“Cynthia, we have company!” Lord Orwell called out as he stepped away from the door. His guests followed him in, and Sebastian saw his enemy for the first time.

Unlike his father’s other friends, Trenton didn’t try to appear fancy or carry fake medals. The robes he wore were expensive but simple. As evidence of his power, Trenton’s aging had stopped near thirty unlike the older-looking Lord Orwell. Feoras and Dalia must have been powerful too, because they appeared to be James’s peers and not Caspian Orwell’s.

“The food has been put away, but a plate will be simple to heat up,” Lord Orwell said.

“That’s all right,” Dalia said, smiling at Lady Orwell. “My stomach didn’t agree with me the last time I ate here.”

Lady Orwell’s face lit up. “Are you sure? It wouldn’t be any trouble to prepare you something special.”

Dalia’s eyes narrowed. “I’m sure.”

“Four of your girls are missing, Caspian. I hoped to meet your whole family,” Trenton said.

“I’m honored that you felt the need to learn about my entire family,” Lord Orwell said. “Alice is turning in her children, and Ophelia is chatting with Diana in her room.”

“And the youngest, girl, Cecilia?” Dalia asked.

Sebastian glanced at his mother during the exchange and watched her irises turn red.

“You really do your research.” Lord Orwell smiled weakly. “She’s too pregnant for travel, and it’s her first winter Solstice with her husband.”

“I remember when you and Cynthia first married. Has it really been that many years, Caspian?” Trenton chuckled. “Where’s the adventurer?”

Lord Orwell scratched his head. “If you mean Richard, he passed several years ago.”

“I’m sorry to bring up bad memories,” Trenton said. “I mean the mysterious Sebastian I’ve heard tales of.” Trenton walked to the table and stopped behind Sebastian’s chair. “The one with magicked cloaks, who no one knows what lies under his hood.” He bent so he was level with Sebastian’s head. “I hear you saved the prince’s life.”

Sebastian shrugged. “Any citizen would have done it. I was lucky.”

“Lucky? Don’t be humble. You should be proud of your heroics.”

“I keep hearing that, but I can’t take full credit when the assassins were so incompetent,” Sebastian said. He arranged his cards and placed the royal faces together.

“I heard they nearly killed the prince, so they had to be talented men,” Feoras said.

“I don’t know who told you that,” Sebastian said. “One fool assassin tripped and fell on his own knife while another one tried to talk me to death. And no man can be too bright if they attack a place called Wizards’ Row.”

“An excellent point, young man.” Trenton interrupted before Feoras could say anything else. “Regardless of your thoughts, I still think you should be commended for your efforts.”

“That’s kind of you,” Sebastian said. “Father, you have a minute to draw a card, or you’re giving up your spot.”

“We obviously have guests, so you can wait a bit,” Lord Orwell told his son.

“Tick tock,” Kevin said. “Wasting time is a loser’s bet.”