Fan Girl (16 page)

Deklan reopens the door and ushers me out. He's done setting his pack at the back of his jeans and the earpieces are draped over his shoulders to the front. He walks to a man with a computer behind the stage and claps him on the back. “Hey Darrel. I need a ticket printed, do you have a minute,” he asks politely.

Darrel, a middle-aged, balding man with a huge nose and close-set eyes, turns around. His smile is wide and friendly as he says, “Sure sure Dek, where at?” He turns back to the computer as Deklan tells him he wants second row, middle of the stage. A few clicks later and a printer comes to life down below. He bends down, gets the new ticket and rips off the stub part that would normally be taken off at the door in front. “Enjoy the show.” He hands me the ticket.

I tell him thank you, and Deklan walks with me to the double doors, signaling the end of 'backstage'.

We come to a stop right outside the door, just as Dark Knight comes down the hall from their own green room, adjusting earpieces and getting ready to go on. I look at Deklan and he's already watching me.

He says, “I’ll meet you after the encore. I’m going to need a shower before we go out, so I’ll take one on the bus. After the show, come back to this door and tell the guard to show you to my bus. Don’t try to find it yourself. Break down after a show is crazy, and people will be running around everywhere. I want someone with you.”

So thoughtful!
I start walking to the door. “Sounds good! Break a leg, Dek.”

He smiles and I turn around and walk past the guard. Right before I have to turn a corner by the stage, I can see the backstage door still slightly pulled open, and the security guard is talking to someone out of sight on the other side.
Giving him instructions
, I think.

I find my seat and the accents around me are vast and different. I recognize Spanish and French, and German or maybe Dutch. They sound too similar to tell. There are English and Irish accents as well. Shortly after I tuck my backstage pass in my shirt and settle in my seat, the lights go down and the screaming begins.

Chapter 15

After the show, I follow a guard to the bus and hear the shower running as I climb the steps. I settle in a big leather couch with huge throw pillows and start to upload my clips of the concert onto YouTube while I wait. It was a great show, and I recorded almost all of
Dream On
. It's very rare for them to do covers anymore. I scroll through everything once it is loaded to make sure they uploaded correctly and didn’t get cut off, as can sometimes happen. Below the first video that went up tonight is one I don’t recognize. It's titled Show Prep. I have no idea what this is, so I click on it.

The video starts with me, back turned to the mirror, doing my makeup. The silk robe looks ridiculous with the jeans you can see that I’m wearing. I’m lifting the ball of my foot on the floor and tapping it behind me as I sing and do my makeup. Then just as I know will happen the ohs start and I spin twice before stopping and look at the camera. “What are you doing,” I say.

A deep voice I know as Deklan says, “What do you mean?” Anyone who has heard him speak on television would probably recognize that voice. It's smooth and smoky at the same time.

“You better not be recording me. Give me that phone.” Then I lunge but he's already pushing the stop button. The last thing you see is a YOLO tattoo on a hand that's pushing off of the mattress.

OH. MY. GOD. I can't believe he uploaded it! When? Then I remember he went into the bathroom while I was putting my shoes on. Does he not understand that there are a lot of RB fans that subscribe to my channel because I go to so many concerts? They’ll know exactly who that hand belongs to!

Just then I hear the shower turn off, and I shoot off the couch. "Deklan Thomas!" I say in my most stern voice. This might turn out to be my mom voice, time will tell.

He opens the door and steps out, still dripping with a towel wrapped around his hips. I momentarily forget my train of thought as I watch a drop of water snake down his chest to his tattooed abs that are most definitely an eight pack.

“What's wrong, babe?”

I blink and look up at his face.
Babe?
I blink again.

“Ali?”

I give my head a little shake, and hold my phone up. “You just outed me to the entire world as knowing you well enough to be in a hotel room together!”

He looks at me curiously. “We do know each other that well.”

I don’t know what to say to that.
Does he not know, not care, what?
This is the man who is crazy about protecting his privacy and never letting anyone get pictures of him with any girls at all.

I try to explain patiently. “But everyone will think we have a relationship. You never publicize relationships, ever. You’re a private person. Why would you out us when we aren’t even together?” I’m exasperated and throw my hands up as I talk.
Is the man crazy?

He looks at me solemnly, looks down at his chest and asks, “Can you give me five minutes to get dressed, then we can talk about this?”

I nod.

He gives a little half-smirk and turns around, shutting the sliding door to the room in back while his ass in a towel is imprinted on my brain.

I smell him before he opens the door, and it just collapses me back in my seat. Diesel cologne smells edible, as I’ve stated previously. It's cool and dark, just like a bad boy should smell. More like ten minutes later, he opens the door fully clothed.

He's wearing a maroon shirt with jeans and a brown belt. Deklan sits at the booth in the kitchen area, so I move to sit across from him.

He holds my hands in the middle of the table, gives them a squeeze, and starts talking. “I’ve always been a private person because I never dated anybody for long. It looks bad when you date models for two months at a time… or less. I wasn’t going to get a reputation when there was no reason for them to talk. With you, I want people to know. We have unprecedented chemistry. You’ve been my friend as DD and then add the baby?” He shakes his head. “We need to give this thing a chance to go somewhere. I like you, you smell good, you treat me like I’m a normal person. And trust me not a lot of people do that anymore. You’re funny, loyal… let’s face it Ali, you're kind of all that and a bag of chips, but instead of the chips, it’s a bun in your oven.”

My mouth stays shut and my eyes stay wide.

He smiles warmly at me and goes on, “I talked to my publicist earlier and told her I was coming out with a relationship she should be aware of. Whether or not we are in a relationship, I’m not gonna hide my kid, so I thought she should be aware of it. She wasn’t happy that we might lose sales because I’m
off the market
. You should decide in the next couple of weeks if you want that. We might not work out, who knows, but I want to be a dad to my kid. I’m still Redy and no matter what you think Deklan Thomas would do, I’m offering to do this with you.” He looks at me nervously.

I sit back in my seat and try to breathe.
Who knew Deklan Thomas was a runaway train??
I jerk forward and point out a huge flaw in this, “Deklan we’ve been a hookup and internet friends, that doesn’t make a relationship!”

His eyes go glittery and hot and he tells me, “Don’t worry about that, baby. Can we just see what happens when we spend more than a few hours together? Maybe starting out with a few hours a day, consecutively, and not go months in between seeing each other? Is that reasonable?”

“It all just seems so surreal, Dek. You’re going really fast,” I admit to him.

He looks down at our hands and then back at me. “Ali, I never saw myself as a part-time dad. I don’t want to be that. This was unexpected, but not altogether unwanted. I’m just glad if it was going to happen, it wound up being someone I actually like being around… and looking at.”

I roll my eyes. “If it was going to happen?”

Now he rolls his eyes back at me. “The condom was in my wallet, it was going to get used. And the hole would still have been in it.”

“I guess that
is
true,” I concede. “Sometimes shit happens for a reason. I still can’t believe you posted that video. You could have picked a time when I was in a better outfit.”

His eyebrows lift in disbelief. “That was hot.”

I shake my head. “No it wasn’t. At all.”

He leans forward and says in a low voice, “It was fucking hot.”

I look away and take a deep breath. “
Anyway
, how long do you have in L.A.?” I ask him desperately trying to change the subject.

“We’ve got a few days off, then into the studio. So, six months probably. Enough time to figure us out.” His eyes are anxious, like he wants this really bad.

I imagine he hasn’t had to plead his case to date anyone before. Then again there was never a kid involved.

I sigh and relent. “All right. We see each other when we get back. I don’t know about anything else. I don’t want to come out to the public after a two day weekend. Either way I’m having your baby.”

He nods. “Fair enough. Is being with me putting you off? Like the being famous thing?”

“Dek, everyone is going to say I’m the fan that trapped you into having my kid, and you’re with me out of obligation. People will hate me. I have a good life right now.”

“Listen to me, babe. If you were a valley girl I fucked when I was drunk and came to me pregnant, I wouldn’t want the world to know that. I still wouldn’t hide my kid, but it would be clear I wasn’t with the girl.
You
have been my friend for years
, and
the sex was mind blowing,
and
you’re body is rockin’.”

“Deklan, the video of when I got on stage at eighteen is on my YouTube. I’ve never posted anything with me in it since then.”

He jumps all over that. “Maybe you should! Do you know how many young girls could be positively influenced if they knew you got healthy and lost weight without a fad diet or whatever? You’re a success story. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.” Redy’s words coming out of Deklan’s mouth.

Wow, I never thought of it like that. Inspiring the young girls that are who I used to be. Okay, now I don’t feel so bad about the new video, except for the fact that you can tell Dek’s in it. I feel like we’re opening a can of worms.

“Okay, Dek. Let’s eat before I have to puke all over you, K?”

He throws his head back and laughs. “You do know that the girls I’ve been around for years don’t eat anything right? They eat lettuce or some shit all the time and would die if they talked about puke.”

I shoot back, “How’s that working out for you?”

Chapter 16

We get to the table and all of the guys are there. Deklan gives a chin lift as the guys call out greetings to us being late.

Tommy says, “So you only made her thirty minutes late, Dek? I’m disappointed.” The other guys laugh and I roll my eyes.

I reply before Deklan can, “Trust me, if what happened is what you’re thinking I would be
way
more laid back by now.”

All of the guys laugh and we take our seats, Deklan pulling out my chair.

Peter leans to me saying, “We get together after every tour and relive the memorable moments. It’s tradition.”

I nod my head and go along for the ride. There are stories of Tommy almost falling off stage into the crowd, Deklan forgetting lyrics and adlibbing, Fandy’s sound going out and the band going a whole song without an electric guitar that needed one, Alan waking up in the middle of the night to a girl groping him, panties flying and bras being lifted, and Tag almost missing a show when he went home with a girl and had to borrow a bicycle and pedal over six miles to get to the arena on time.

I’m wiping tears from my eyes by the end of the night, and the guys are slightly drunk. I learn they don’t drink in excess if they have to play the next day, so it’s good for them to kick back.

We have to leave by eleven to get to the airport. My bags were stowed in the car Deklan arranged for us. When I check out of the hotel my bill is astronomical, but so worth it. I don’t get vacations like this very often, usually I’m tattooing six hours a day, then doing paperwork. Even if it was just three days and I hadn’t gotten to see many of the sites, I will never forget a second of Paris. On the drive to the airport, I get a text. It immediately makes me smile.

RedyGo: What up?

DirtyDozen: What’s up Redy?

RedyGo: Just wanted to see how your night went. Mine was INCREDIBLE.

I smile so hard my cheeks hurt.

DirtyDozen: Ooo all caps! Sounds interesting do tell.

RedyGo: Are you ready for this one? I met a girl.

DirtyDozen: Who is this girl? Do we like her?

RedyGo: This girl is… well she’s everything I’ve ever wanted.

My heart melts in my chest and I fall back on the seat, then lift my phone over my head to type.

DirtyDozen: And what is it that you want Redy?

RedyGo: Brains, looks, heart, compassion, independence, strength, dedication, perseverance, a massive amount of hair, bright eyes, gold skin, legs for days, an ass that won’t quit, do you want me to keep going?

I’m panting again. This man, and what he does to me.

DirtyDozen: You’re on a roll don’t stop now.

RedyGo: :D For the first time I get why tongue rings are so hot, when we’re dancing I never want to stop, and she kisses like she wants to eat me (and like the praying mantis I would let her)

I laugh loud at that. Deklan is looking hard out of his window.

DirtyDozen: LOL. How do you not know tongue rings are hot?

RedyGo: Because I got mine at 18 and never kissed a girl with one I don’t think. If I did I never noticed.

DirtyDozen: Nice.