Fantasy Attraction (Hidden Secrets) (16 page)

She threw her head back into the pillows and arched her back off the bed.  I could feel her clenching around me.  Trying to focus on something other than the tight pulses around my cock, I took one of her breasts into my mouth, biting the nipple slightly before running my tongue over it.

Sweat began to cover my skin and hers as our love making continued.  She continued to meet me thrust for thrust.  Her hands trailed down my back, when she reached my ass she grabbed and dug her nails in.

“Oh God!” I moaned.

“Carson, I’m close.  I want you…to…Oh shit! Carson!”

“Yes, Angel.  Yes! Shit!” I roared as my orgasm started to take over me.  It was the most intense orgasm I have ever had.  I collapsed down to my forearms as I continued to pulsate inside of her and trying to catch my breath.  Cupping her face, I kissed her with everything I felt for her.  I knew in that moment for certain how strongly I felt.

I pulled back from the kiss and stared down at her with a smile on my face. 
God, she was beautiful. 

“I know you don’t want to hear this, but I have to tell.  I love you, Colleen Austin.”

Her eyes widened and she stared at me.  I watched as tears trickled down her face. It wasn’t exactly the reaction I was hoping for, but in all honesty, I knew it was too soon for her.  The urge to tell was too strong and I just had to say it.  It hurt me that she reacted this way; I just hope that I was able to cover up the pain I was feeling.  She didn’t need to know she hurt me.  Regardless if she said it back or not, I still loved her and I don’t regret saying it.

“
Angel, please don’t cry.” I kissed the trail of tears that disappeared into her hairline.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

~COLLEEN~

That was the most intense experience I have ever had in my life.  The feelings I had for Carson were scaring me.  He is such an amazing guy and I’m so…damaged, I just don’t understand what he sees in me.  Hell, it was even before he saw me.  Then he said it.  The three words that scared me to the core, but I longed to have the real thing one day.

“I know you don’t want to hear this, but I have to tell.  I love you, Colleen Austin.”

I froze and stared at him.  Somehow the tears, I fought every day not to cry started trickling down my face.  There is no way he could love me.  Not after I told him I killed someone and lost a baby.  That wasn’t even all of it, how could he love me.  He began to kiss my tears away and told me not to cry.  How could I not cry?

“You don’t know everything.  You can’t love me.”

“Angel, nothing you can tell me will change this.  It won’t change how right you feel in my arms.  It won’t change how amazing it is to make love to you.  It won’t change how much I love you.  I know you aren’t ready to admit it yet and you don’t have to.  I didn’t say it to you for any kind of agenda or because they are the three words, most thrown around with little meaning behind them anymore.  I have never said it to anyone else and would not say it unless I truly meant it.”

A sobbed escaped me before I could stop it.  Carson just held me as I cried it out.  All the years of being alone and betrayal came flooding back.  The filter on my mouth broke and everything that ever happened to me came out.  I told him about my mom mixing up with bad people and them having
hunted me for payment for a long time.  I told him about the last four years of hell after my dad died until I moved out and far away from her, I thought.  I told him about my dad.  There was a ton of information flooding out in a single moment, but Carson never faltered.

We ate cold spaghetti and meatballs while I told him how wonderful my dad was and what happened when he died and how I blamed myself.  No matter how bad the detail, he just sat there and listened.  This continued for the next couple of days with breaks for food and love making.  Until the third day when I finished the last of my story and took a deep breath, I just looked at him.

“I know that’s a lot of information, but you wanted to know and I was finally ready to get it off my chest.  You know everything about me now.  Do…Do you still want me around because I will understand if you don’t.”

He didn’t answer me in words, he just leaned over and kissed me so tenderly and lovingly that I knew in that moment that he truly did love me beyond my past to the woman I was on the inside.  He loved me despite my flaws and history.  Carson truly did love me.

“Angel, I told you nothing would change how I felt.  I’m angry and sad for you, but I still love you with all my heart.”

Running
my hand down his face, I looked into his eyes and could see the sincerity in them.  He was telling me the truth.  Wow, that feeling damn near suffocated me.  This was what it was like to have someone love you.  This was what it felt like to have someone care about and want to protect you. Three months ago, I never thought that existed then one phone call and my life has literally changed forever.

“Carson,” I whispered.

He said nothing else, just leaned down and kissed me.  The softness in his lips and in the kiss almost had me in tears again.  It was the tenderness in this touch and his eyes.  It was more than action.  Trailing his hands down to the hem of my shirt, he left behind a trail of heat where his fingers touched.  When he reached the hem of my shirt, he slipped his hands under and lightly skimmed his fingers across my stomach on their way up to my breasts.  Just as he was about to reach my breasts, his phone started to ring.

He groaned.  “Ignore it.”

Carson began to kiss me again when the phone stopped ringing.  Running my hands up his arms, I wrapped them around his neck pulling him closer.  He slowly backed me up to the wall.  I immediately flashed back to Kayla’s house and how we were interrupted.  I started to laugh at the memory.  Carson pulled back and looked at me with confusion.

“Something funny?”

“I was just remembering the last time we were in this position.” I laughed.

“Yeah well no one can get in here this time, unless I let them in.  No one is coming in this time.” He growled before taking my mouth again.

Wrapping one leg around his waist, I began to grind into him as he pushed me harder against the wall.  The moan I got from him only spurred me on more.  Pulling his shirt over his head, I trailed kisses down his neck and across his bare shoulder.  Carson pulled my shirt over my head and threw it to join his.  I couldn’t keep my hands off his magnificent chest and stomach.  The feel of him under my hands never got less unbelievable. Soon the rest of our clothes were off, and he was pressing me against the wall again while claiming my mouth.  His hands running down my body until he reached my thighs and lifted me up, I immediately wrapped my legs around his waist.

He ran kisses across my jaw up to my ear.  He
gently bit on the lobe before whispering, “I want your eyes open as I take you, Angel.”

He pulled back and looked deep in my eyes.  Slowly he raised me up and lowered me down on him.  I felt every blessed inch and he made sure of it.  When he was finally all the way in, my head fell to the wall and I sighed with completion.  I felt whole…complete.  The way he filled every hole there was in me made it harder for me to believe that he was like all the other guys I have come across or Harriet had exposed me to in my past.  He was different and I knew it.  I knew it all along, but was too afraid to admit to myself.

Pulling out slowly before slamming back into me, he made me forget everything other than him and me.  He pushed harder and faster each time.  Pretty soon he had a rhythm and was teasing me with it. 

“Shit!
Yeah, just like that!”

“
Angel…” he breathed.

I took his mouth with mine.  Our tongues dancing as our bodies moved against each other.  My body was humming with electricity set to go off any minute.  Every part of me was alive, and it was the way I felt with Carson period not just in these moments.  He turned my otherwise cloudy days and made the sun shine.

God, I love him!

“I love you!” I screamed as my orgasm took me by surprise slamming into
me like a train.

“Fuck Colleen!”  He roared as he came with me.

Dropping his head to my chest, he breathed heavily for a bit before pulling back and walking us over to the bed.  We cuddled for a few minutes.  I could sense he wanted to ask if I meant it, but didn’t want to ruin the moment so I lifted my head up from his chest.

“Carson?”

“Yeah,” he said groggily as he slowly opened his eyes.

“I love you.” I whispered before softly kissing his lips and laying my head back down on his chest.

“I love you too, Angel.” He kissed my head a few times before we both nodded off.

It was a few hours later before I woke up.  With Carson still asleep, I decided I was going to make him something to eat.  Slipping on more of his boxers and a shirt, I made a mental note to bring up going back to my house for stuff if he wasn’t going to let me leave yet.  Once in the kitchen, I pulled out everything I’d need to make a very nice breakfast.  We are definitely going to need to go shopping, another mental note.

I was just finishing up the gravy when arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me back into the body of the man of my dreams.  I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder. 

“Good Morning beautiful.”

“Good Morning handsome. I made breakfast.”

“I see that.  It smells good.  You
feel okay today?”

“I feel great.  Oh, if you
would like me here any longer I really need to go back to my place to get some things.  I can’t keep wearing your boxers and shirts.”

“I like you in my boxers and shirts.” He whispered as he kissed my neck.

“Stop.  We need to eat.”  I moved out of his arms and grabbed plates and silverware and plated the food.

We ate in silence for a little while, both of us seemingly lost in our own thoughts.

“I need to ask you something, Colleen.  I don’t want you to get mad.” He blurted all of a sudden.

“I don’t know if I like the sound of that.” I said my stomach starting to tighten
causing me to lose my appetite.

“Nothing bad,
Angel.  I’m just wondering if you will let me teach you some kick boxing.  That way, if you’re ever off by yourself, you can protect yourself better.”

I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding and smiled at him.  “I’d love that.”  Then I smacked him. “Don’t scare me like that again.”

“Sorry.  We will start after a nice hot and steamy shower.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me.

“No,
workout, then shower.”

“
Oh, you’re no fun.”  He said with a faux pout.

I laughed as I cleared our plates from the counter and
carried them in the sink.  As I was rinsing them off. Carson came up behind me and wiped something wet on my cheek.

“What the hell?” I yelped as I wiped a little off to see what it was.

“Damn, you’re dirty.  Shower time,” he said as he bent to pick me up.

I
squealed and ran to the other side of the kitchen. “Don’t you dare!  Head out of the gutter and let’s focus here.”

“
Oh, I’m focusing all right.  Now get over here and no one gets hurt,” he said as he stalked towards me.

Continuing to move away from him, “You need to teach me to protect myself so I’m safe when you’re not around.  Remember?”

Honestly, I don’t know why I’m fighting this.  I want it just as bad as he does.  Maybe it’s the tease in me?  Or maybe it’s the fact that I know if we don’t do what we need to first, we’ll never get out of the bedroom.

“I have seen a food fight end with both participants on the floor.  Now you wouldn’t want
that, would you?”

“We aren’t having a food fight. 
First, you will be teaching me or you will
not
be getting any of me for a while.”

He stopped dead in his tracks.  “Let’s train then.”

I bust up laughing and Carson soon joins in wrapping his arms around me.  “I love you, Colleen.”

I smile softly at him.  “I love you too.”

He leans down and kisses me.  When he breaks the kiss, I am left with the want to take a shower rather than the need to train.  Shaking my head slightly, I rest my head on his chest and just enjoy being in his arms.

“I like this.”  He whispered.

“Me too.” I sighed.

“Okay,” he said as he rubbed my arms up and down.  “Which would you like to do first, get more stuff or train?”

“Do you really want me to stay here longer?”  I asked looking up at him.

“Of course I do.  At least until you are better and I know you can defend yourself.”

I just nodded my head and told him to go to my place.  Honestly, I was kind of scared to go back there.  I was afraid that I will no longer see my home only the attack.  As we headed that way in his truck, I tried to focus on other things.  It wasn’t long before he was grabbing my hand and asking if I was okay.

“I’m okay.” I forced a smile
that I didn’t feel and started to get out of the truck.

Carson was over to my side taking my hand the minute I was out of the truck.  I stared at my place. The beep of him setting his alarm on the truck scared me and I jumped.

“Angel, we don’t have to do this.”

“No! No, I need to.  This is my home.”  I said firmly.

More determined to do this than ever before, I stormed up to my door and unlocked it and walked in.  I froze causing Carson to bump into me. The smell alone took your breath away.  It made me want to turn and run more than the mess that was there.

“What’s wrong?” He asked just as he looked around. “Holy shit, Colleen.  Was it like this when you left?”

“Y-yes, I think so.  Would you mind helping me clean it?  I can’t leave this and come back to it.”

“Of course.  Let me make a phone call real fast.  You go change into something and we’ll start when you come back.”

I nodded and headed to my bedroom through all the debris.  When I got to my room, my breath caught in my throat.  My room…my room was…my things…

“Carson…” I got out barely above a whisper.

Slowly I started walking backwards, I just wanted out of there.  Nothing survived, I’m almost sure of it.  Everything I worked so hard to get and to hold on to, it was all ruined.  The anger started to boil and retreating did not become an option.  This little bitch was not going to control my life.  I spent far too many years scared and afraid to move forward.  Not anymore!  I marched over to my closet and searched for anything that survived.  There was one of my running bras and a pair of yoga pants that survived the carnage.  I changed and walked out to my living room.