Far From Perfect (14 page)

“What on earth are you doing down there? Kneeling in prayer for my recovery?”

Nick returned her effort at a smile, his fingertips on fire with the urge to stroke her face and hair soothingly, yet all the while knowing that contact might not be welcome.

“Well, if you think it’ll help, yes, I’ll try it.” He kept his voice muted. “But actually I was just trying to see how you are, there in your burrow. Any improvement?”

“No. Not really…but thank you.” The words were an obvious struggle.

“Perhaps this will help.”

Still kneeling, Nick reached into the jacket of his suit and took out a small white paper bag containing a packet of tablets. Glancing swiftly at the dosage instructions, he popped one out of the foil, and held it towards Anna. When she blinked and looked suspicious, he held up the packet in his other hand.

“How did you get those? They’re prescription only,” she queried, one slender hand emerging from hiding to take the pill from him. As she slipped it into her mouth, Nick poured water from the carafe on the bedside table, and once she’d struggled to sit, emerging more fully from the covers, he held the half-full glass to her lips as she drank.

“Would you believe that I walked into the crowded restaurant and asked if there was a doctor in the house?”

Relinquishing the glass to him, Anna laughed, then held her head and scrunched up her eyes, clearly regretting her mirth. “I’d believe anything of you,” she observed, her voice thin but still amused.

When Nick helped her to lie down again, she didn’t hide her head, but simply kept her eyes tightly closed. “Alas, there was no doctor, but a very helpful fellow migraine sufferer suggested I find out what medication you take and obtain some for you.”

“And how did you do that?”

“I rang Lydia. She wanted to come down here herself and look after you, but I assured her that you were quite safe in my hands—” Anna made a faint harrumph sound, but Nick ignored her, “—and asked for the name of your medicine. After that, it was a simple matter of ringing a physician friend of mine, who wrote a prescription and arranged for an express motorcycle courier to take the scrip to an all-night chemist and then bring the medicine here.”

“Life’s very easy when you’ve got mountains of money and convenient friends, like doctors and hotel owners and suchlike.” Anna’s voice sounded stronger now, and though he doubted the tablet could have acted so quickly, Nick’s heart lifted to hear so much fight returning to her.

“In this case, fortunately for you, yes. Life
is
easier with wealth and connections,” he admitted, voice still low, but crisper.

There was a silence, then, “Thank you.” The words were soft, but not grudging, totally genuine. Having always enjoyed the rudest good health himself, Nick wondered for a moment what it would be like to be laid so low. “Thank you for looking after me. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

Probably not got the headache in the first place
, thought Nick wryly. But before he could say so, she went on more strongly. “But I
don’t
thank you for being so blunt and lacking in tact with Martin. You could have worked up to things a bit more subtly, Nick.”

True, but despite the situation, he felt compelled to justify himself. His motives had been sound. Or, it could be just a case of it seemed like a good idea at the time…

“I just wanted to get everything out in the open and dealt with as quickly as possible. So we could all enjoy a pleasant dinner.” He paused, fingers still tingling with the urge to reach out and touch her, soothe her pain. “I saw no reason to prolong the agony.”

Another harrumph from the depths of the covers pointed out the irony of that remark.

“I suppose he’s gone now, hasn’t he?” she asked.

“Yes, he’s long gone. He made his choice with a surprising alacrity. I was quite impressed with his decision making. And with yours,” he finished softly.

“I didn’t have a choice, if you remember. You forced the issue.”

“You have always been a free agent, Anna,” Nick said, aware that out of necessity he
had
maneuvered her. “And yet you chose me over him.”

“I didn’t choose you.” Anna’s words sounded tired rather than belligerent. Their conversation was clearly wearing her out. “I chose what was right for Carlo.”

“And I thank you for that,” Nick answered without hesitation, touched again, thinking of his father in another sick bed in another country, and what Anna’s choice—however temporary it was—would mean to him.

“And for Dad too. Don’t try and tell me that it’s
only
the idea that we’re engaged that’s making him look as if he’s had a huge weight lifted off his shoulders.”

Nick admired her pragmatism. It reminded him of his own decision making. Yet he still felt an odd, piqued sensation that made him frown.

Was there nothing personal in this deal for her? Why did she so consistently fight the fact that she still wanted him? She’d been with him all the way last night in the kitchen, so why not own up to her urges? And—just as he hoped to do—make the most of their enforced togetherness with mutual pleasure. Even if it was only a temporary arrangement?

“Of course,” he said more coolly, “although I must point out that an injection of cash for Felgate’s was never contingent upon our becoming engaged. It was already a gladly done deal.”

“Of course,” she echoed. Despite her obvious pain, the cynicism in her thready voice was evident.

“You don’t sound as if you believe me?”

“You’re a ruthless man, Nick.” Her brow puckered, and the tiny action made her wince, “I know you’ll do anything to get what you want. You did tonight.” She paused, her eyelids fluttering, but not opening. “And I’m just wondering what an injection of cash for my father
might
be contingent upon. I know that it isn’t just this mock engagement you’re after.”

It was Nick’s turn to frown, instantly comprehending her meaning. His anger flared. With difficulty, he suppressed an instant outburst, aware the sudden flash of ire was as much directed inward as it was at Anna.

“Don’t worry,” he said after a moment, forcing the words out between rigid lips, “I don’t require you to sleep with me in order for me to help your father. I offer financial aid as Clive’s friend, because I respect and care for him.”

He drew a quick breath, suddenly aware that he’d been holding that in tightly too. “And I want you to sleep with me because I desire you and you desire me. It’s as simple and uncomplicated as that.”

Anna plucked at the coverlet, but Nick gently prevented her from pulling it over her head again. She wasn’t going to hide from her false accusations, migraine or no migraine.

“You continually cast me in the role of sex-crazed monster, but I’ll prove to you that I’m not one.” He glanced quickly at the width of the large, canopied bed, assessing its acreage. “I’ll sleep beside you in this bed and I won’t even touch you. Will that prove to you that my intentions are all above board? That I’m not trying to coerce you into sex?”

Above board?
Yes. He sincerely meant it. But an intense bolt of desire, blended with self-loathing, made him catch his lip between his teeth and wrestle for control. Even as he’d swept her up and carried her from the restaurant—distraught and in pain—his wayward body had reacted, tightening and hardening.

Anna turned her face towards the pillow and burrowed into it, still frowning. Was it from pain? Disbelief? Acceptance? Or what? When she spoke, her voice was slurred, and Nick realized the rapid-acting medication was kicking in.

“There’s no need for that. I believe you,” she mumbled into the pillow, “Now just leave me alone and go to your own room. I’ll…I’ll be all right. I just need sleep.” This time when she fumbled for the edge of the cover, he didn’t try to stop her.

“There is no
my
room,” he told the hump beneath the embroidered ivory silk. “This was the last remaining suite, Anna. We have no choice but to share it.”

Even though she was entirely hidden, he sensed immediate tension in her concealed form. But only for a moment or two. The anti-migraine drug was too strong, and it had her in its hold.

As her body relaxed again, he heard a soft and muffled, “Whatever.”

“Whatever,” affirmed Nick, knowing she was already asleep and beyond both pain and their conflict.

But for him there would be no such escape. And the night ahead would be long with uncomfortable wakefulness.

I’ll sleep beside you in this bed.

The words popped into Anna’s mind the instant she came awake, and they were so astonishing that her heart leapt in shock.

Because they were real.

Opening her eyes, she took in the fact that her headache was gone, and she felt clear and calm. The room around her was faintly illuminated by a muted up-lighter on the far wall, which immediately made her feel safer because she’d never been able to sleep in full darkness since she was a child.

But the most important thing, the most amazing thing, the most terrifying and wonderful thing, was that Nick lay asleep beside her in the wide, luxurious bed.

He wasn’t touching her. In fact, there seemed to be yards of mattress separating them. But as she lay in silence, taking in his presence, she could hear the faint sound of his even breathing, and a hint of body warmth was apparent even across the gulf between them.

With slow, infinite care, she turned over to face him…and was instantly catapulted into the past by a sense of breath-catching
deja vu
.

That beautiful face, often so fierce and uncompromising, was gentler, almost angelic in repose. Nick was lying on his back, one arm thrown backwards across the pillow, just as it had been when she’d first entered his bedroom four years ago at Villa Rosa. His gilded hair was tousled and his sculpted lips were parted. There was a soft sheen on his golden skin, as if he’d recently shaved and anointed his face with some kind of balm. His thick dark lashes lay like scimitars across his cheekbones.

But there was a significant difference to that first occasion when she’d joined Nick in his bed.

In Italy, he’d been sensuously naked beneath a single, lightweight sheet.

Here in England, he was chastely swaddled in a thick, fluffy bathrobe, which as far as she could tell, covered quite a significant portion of him.

Hmm…playing it safe, are we?

Anna sat up cautiously, trying to move as little as possible so as not to disturb the sleeping Nick. Had he bundled himself up in the robe to avoid inadvertently coming into contact with her while he slept? Or was it the other way round? Was it to stop her reaching for him while she was doped and drowsy?

Either way, he might as well have built the Great Wall of China between them. Last night’s confrontation in the kitchen had obviously been a momentary lapse of judgment on his part, one that he wasn’t planning to repeat. At least not tonight.

On her part, it’d been pure heaven, and only now, in the silent night, with Nick just inches away from her, did she admit it.

Nick stirred slightly, and Anna froze, fearing he might wake. But all that happened was that he adjusted the position of his broad shoulders against the mattress, and then stilled again, the pure, calm expression on his sleeping face still almost beatific.

Maybe she was misjudging him? He was clearly keeping to his side of the bed and was sleeping in the robe so he wouldn’t disturb her. There was no doubt after last night that he did want her, but out of consideration for her illness, he was trying to contain himself, while at the same time proving to her that he could do it.

Pushing her hand through her hair, Anna reflected that Nick suppressing his desire for her at the moment was probably a fairly easy job. She wrinkled her nose in disgust. She was a complete mess. Having simply crawled under the covers fully clothed, her top and trousers were tangled and crumpled around her, and she felt grubby and disheveled and less than fresh. She could well imagine the sorts of spikes and tufts her hairstyle had turned into, and whatever remained of her makeup was probably accenting entirely different parts of her face to the ones to which it had originally been applied.

“Yuk,” she mouthed silently.

I look as if I’ve slept under a bridge for six months
, she thought,
and he’s the prince of fastidious perfection
.

Slowly, and watching Nick for signs of waking with every inch she shifted, Anna slid out of bed and padded towards the en-suite bathroom. There was a nail-biting moment when she switched on the light, but thankfully, it wasn’t the sort where the air con started up at the same time, so she was able to slide in, close the door and do something about herself without disturbing her sleeping companion.

The mirror revealed exactly the sight she’d feared.

Her hair was sticking up at all angles, and smears of mascara and eye shadow gave her the appearance of the mutant offspring of a clown and a panda. Her lip tint was nowhere to be seen, and her blusher seemed to have gone AWOL too. She could only hope it wasn’t smeared all over the exquisite hotel bedding.

And yet, for all her disastrous appearance, she felt better. It was always like this after a migraine. The sheer relief of not being in pain any more seemed to produce a sense of wellbeing and euphoria that was out of all proportion with the prevailing circumstances. She felt light-spirited, confident and positive.

Yes, she was in a weird situation with Nick, and she’d just broken up with a perfectly nice boyfriend. But still she felt optimistic. She’d deal with Nick somehow and fulfill her part of the deal for the sake his father.

But first, she had to do something about herself.

Twenty minutes later, Anna felt more presentable. She’d washed, then tamed her hair, and cleansed off her makeup and moisturized her face with items from the hotel’s luxurious selection of complimentary beauty products. Her trousers and top were hanging up, and hopefully shedding their creases, and she’d even managed to rinse out her underclothes and arranged them over the towel rail to dry.

As she put her hand on the door handle though, her post-migraine super self-confidence wobbled slightly. In that sumptuous bed next door was Nick, the man she loved but who didn’t love her. She had to climb between the sheets beside him, and then pretend she didn’t want him to wake up and make love to her, even if it was something she did want. With all her heart.