Far-out Show (9781465735829) (52 page)

“We respect you techs,” Hasley gushed. “This
is so great. We know what's happening so we can leave Nerber in
place as long as it's safe but we have the perfect excuse for not
sending any of it home from now on. The earth inhabitant made us do
it.”

“This one seems like he wants to plot with
Nerber and protect him,” Feedle said looking at the image of
Krinkle. “I'd love to transport him up and take him with us if
we’re not going to do anything nasty to him to make him an example
to distress the others but that's too risky.”

“Maybe we could just interview him for a
while, then send him back down,” Lacrat suggested.

“Tempting, but no can do,” Hasley said
firmly. “We have to be ready to leave the area soon and in a hurry
since masses of inhabitants and their official groups seem
determined to find and destroy us.”

“Biccup signals that he’s standing by. Do you
want him to bring Nerber and the zerpy up now?” Venrik asked.

“No, since you’ve partly solved the
interference problem and he doesn’t seem to be in immediate danger
let’s see what happened next,” Hasley said.

“This inhabitant looks like a crowd pleaser.
As long as we’re able to record it all, the best time to bring
Nerber up is in the nick of time,” Feedle said.

“That will be the money shot, him fading from
their grasp as they are about to tear him apart,” Lacrat said.
“Besides, the interference from the inhabitant’s device might mess
up the transport system and destroy Nerber and his useful downloads
so you should try hard to figure out how to offset the rest of its
effects. Nerber and the rest of us will all thank you for that. Uh,
not with any particular rewards implied of course. Your contracts
stay as they are. I don’t want any misunderstanding.”

Feedle cut the communication link. She said
to Lacrat, “It’s good to make things like that clear but it’s
better not to plant the idea that they could even be possible in
the first place. Don’t give them ideas they could use against
us.”

Hasley did a triple complete-spin in his
swivel chair as he said, “This might in the end be a problem but
it’s also really useful. It’s the perfect excuse for us not sending
more material home for a while because they can tell the audience
what’s happening and whet the collective appetite and get them to
watch more repeats of what’s already been aired while they wait for
the next bits. I wouldn’t have planned it this way but I’m willing
to take advantage since that’s what successful business types like
me do. The nicey-niceys who won’t do so aren’t even remembered as
failures.”

“It depends on the techs being able to figure
out what to do about the inhabitant’s thing though,” Lacrat
said.

“Maybe. Nothing’s sure until we try them,”
Feedle said. “Maybe that’s not affecting anything except what we
can see and hear in the short-term. It’s definitely not keeping us
from recording it all. Sooner or later the techs will find a way to
clean it up so we can air it.
Wimpledimples!
We can air the
fritzerish
versions, then later the cleaned-up versions and
have twice as many episodes! I am for truth a genius!”

“That would entice the audience and as long
as we only delay the better version for a day or two they won’t get
angrily upset,” Lacrat said. “We make the point from the start that
the inhabitants caused the problem but we’re too clever so we undid
them but it does take time and high tech skills.”

“Here’s the for most truth genius idea,”
Hasley said. “No matter how soon the techs clear the interference
from the signals we can add it in to make ‘the inhabitants tried to
keep you from seeing and hearing this’ versions to air. No one
outside
Bang-Boom Shows
needs to know what was
foreign-caused interference and what was added for effect.”

“Of course it all depends on us getting back
to Ormelex alive and intact,” Lacrat said.

“You worry about that for us all so we can
focus on the other matters,” Feedle said.

* * *

Molten and Biccup stood at the transport room
control podium. Biccup watched closely as Molten keyed in
commands.

“With the interference it is generating added
to our total lack of experience transporting earth materials we can
only make educated guesses about what will work,” Molten said. “We
can’t even be sure we won’t damage or destroy either what we want
to grab, the transport system itself, or in some
ninxy
heyhexel
twenty and two the whole ship – but the only way to
find out is to try it.”

“I understand that but I am still verging on
spifgrez.
”

“I take responsibility,” Molten said. Then he
pushed a button and they waited, glancing back and forth between
the console’s monitor and the open area of the transport
alcove.

After a long moment Molten tapped a button
and said, “
Bips fump
! We didn’t manage to transport the
device up and we don’t have any feedback that lets me know for
certain sure if we had any effect at all. Maybe if at some later
time we get an upload from Wilburps we can go back and see if the
zerpy detected anything but for now we’re without any clues which
is much frustrating.”

“I can’t tell from these signals if that
system worked as it was supposed to even if it wouldn’t ever be
able to bring up earth materials. I fixed a problem in it but still
can’t know if it’ll bring Nerber up fast, alive, and intact when
that’s called for,” Biccup said.

“Nothing I can see from the analysis of what
I did gives any good information on that either, Molten said”

* * *

Later Feedle, looking solemn and worried,
stood in the program edit room speaking to a zerpy floating in
front of her. Her image doing that was on the main view-screen
section. The live feed from Wilburps in the back seat of Krinkle's
car was on a small screen at the side. Hasley and Lacrat stood back
where they wouldn’t appear in the recording. Venrik and Svenly were
at the control console.

Feedle said, slowly and solemnly, “Should
those whose lives are at stake try to surrender or must they die in
a possibly ineffective effort to keep the hardware out of the
aliens' grasp?” She made a small gesture at Venrik who touched some
control switches and her image on the view-screen began to break
up. “Uh oh, this is worse than I expected so soon. It seems that's
not a decision they get to make after all. This is probably the
beginning of the end and too bad for all of us.”

Feedle's fearful expression didn’t change as
the image dissolved into static noise, then was cut off.

She didn’t move until Venrik gestured that
the recording was over. Then she smiled and asked, “Was I scared
enough? The audience loves fear more than anything.”

“You looked terrified, which means you were
terrific,” Hasley said. “That'll keep them worrying and therefore
wondering.”

“There's no way they won't air that,” Lacrat
agreed. “So we're still the hottest thing in the Pacification By
Distraction With Entertainment industry.”

Feedle jumped in the air and waved her feet
in the air in delight saying, “The excitement of not knowing
what'll happen is real too. I may die during this but if I were
back home I wouldn't be able to not watch for each new tidbit.”

“We've always manufactured fakey crises for
the contestants on the shows we made at home to deal with but this
is probably the first time their literal survival has been in such
serious doubt,” Hasley said.

Lacrat conceded, “There is a certain thrill
to not knowing if we'll survive this.”

“Shame on us,” Hasley said with faked
contrition. “Causing the A.D.U. boss guys such trouble having to
decide whether to air our latest reports. The audience will be
screaming for updates if they do but they will be screaming for the
boss guys’ heads if there's no more for them to show. I feel so bad
for them.
Sib sog
in triplicate.”

“Are the newly edited versions of those
programs that we totally misunderstood in the past ready to send
home?” Feedle asked.

“The second orbiting zerpy has been
intercepting and recording their short and longer form
entertainments full time on several channels. It’s convenient that
like us they keep their masses docile by repeating the same
programs over and over, even those that were long ago made and
aren’t violent. It’s amassing a pile and then some of material to
be compared with all that was recorded at earlier times to better
understand what we confused in the first translations,” Venrik
said.

“That will all be useful to give us a more
accurate understanding of the thinking and abilities of the
inhabitants,” Hasley said. “Plus many foreign-based entertainments
to keep our audience pacified for many additional hours. With the
new understanding of what is happening in those entertainments we
can create new programs where we challenge the audience to predict
what will happen next and then show them. Those who like that type
of program will love it and there’ll be enough of it that we won’t
need to get the whole planet tuned in to our program to make it
profitable to show.”

* * *

Biccup looked up as Molten hurried back into
the transport room saying, “I can’t get this problem out of my
head. I’m reassured that there’s no sign that my first try damaged
the system or Nerber so I want to try again with some changes to
how I calibrate the system. Let me try this while we have an
apparent lull in the activity down there.”

“I can’t find any harm the first test did,”
Biccup said.

Biccup noted the commands Molten keyed in
then placed a hand over the console buttons saying, “Don’t try
that, Molten. The system’s barely able to transport one of us and
our hardware without unhappily mixing things together. If it
couldn’t bring up the earth device by itself it’s too risky to
Nerber to try to bring him, his zerpy, and the alien device up
together.”

Molten thought about this, not angry but
considering what other modifications to try. “You know more about
what the system can do and exactly how it works than I do so it’s
good for you to keep me from making a mess we can’t undo.” He
pointed to two dials on the console. “How about if I try increasing
this while decreasing this? Maybe that will better compensate for
whatever’s different in their materials.”

“That shouldn’t make anything I know about
more dangerous. I follow why it should alter the effect and why it
might do the job. I favor you to try that.”

Molten keyed in some commands, and with a nod
to Biccup pressed a button. They waited, holding their breath.

Nothing they could detect happened.

After a moment Molten touched the button to
end the attempt. “From what little readable feedback we’re getting
we should be targeting the thing we want to bring up but we’re not
having the necessary effect. I’ll think about it some more.”

“While I check for any detectable changes
that might keep us from bringing up Nerber and Wilburps when we
need to.”

* * *

The three producers lolled in their office
chairs under the ceiling basking lamps. The view-screen was
blank.

Feedle swiveled a cheerful three-sixty in her
chair as she said, “I’m laughing inside my head at the image of
Delmus and Ackack turning so pale they need extra strength basking
to keep going at the thought of losing us and all the material they
would expect us to have that they could convert into program
episodes for
The Far-Out Show
and a whole collection of
tie-ins.”

“They like to think they’re the masters at
keeping others, like us, anxious and uncertain but they’re not the
only ones who know how to reap the profits from doing that,” Hasley
said.

“It makes me worry that our tactic might get
us written off as lost so there appears to be no more profit from
paying us any attention or helping us,” Lacrat said.

“Always the one who worries,” Feedle said
with exasperation in her tone that she made no attempt to hide.

“Maybe so,” Lacrat replied. “At times
somebody has to.”

They looked up when a harsh tone sounded and
Eroder appeared on the view-screen.

“What now, Eroder?” Hasley asked.

“Some news we officially don’t know,” Eroder
said. “The A.D.U. guys activated the ship’s self-destruct unit. The
signal came through without being affected by the noise in the
signals from the planet.”

That news made the producers sit upright and
attentive.

“Is there anything we can do to stop that?”
Lacrat whined.

“Don’t have to for now,” Eroder said. “They
quickly sent the signal to reverse that. The unit’s back to stable
and inactive condition. Until they send the signal again.”

“Didn’t Svenly say the techs had done
something about them?” Lacrat asked, unable to stop himself from
running on.

“They were working on it but haven’t figured
it all out yet,” Eroder said. “After this I’ve assigned Icetop and
Yelpam to that as their top priority job. I’m confident they’ll
figure out how to disable the darned things. Not only the ship’s
big unit but our individual personal ones. That is, if they have
enough time. Nothing’s certain the way things are going.”

Hasley said, “Uh, there’s no reason to worry
the rest of the crew about this, Eroder. You and those two have it
all under control.”

“Everybody knows, Hasley. We’re all in this
together,” Eroder said. “When I need every idea anyone has about
how to avoid disaster I don’t keep secrets.”

“Of course not. I didn’t mean we should keep
it secret from them, I only meant...”

The screen blanked as Eroder
disconnected.

“I don’t like that,” Feedle said.

“Well,
dre
. Only a
discer
prumous
would like hearing that we were set for destruction
with no warning but got a reprieve that could end at any moment,”
Lacrat said.