Far Pavilions (82 page)

‘I speak of Manu's law, which even he, as a Hindu, must obey. In that law it is laid down that a bride's jewels serve as her
istri-dhan
(inheritance) and may not be taken away from her. It was written by Manu that “
The ornaments which may be worn by women during their husband's life time, his heir shall not divide. Those who divide them shall be outcasts.
” ’

‘But you are not his wife, so he need not regard that law. Nor will he do so,’ said Ash grimly.

‘But… I cannot go back. You know I cannot… I could not leave Shu-shu.’

‘You will have no choice.’

‘That is not true.’ Her voice rose and she stepped back from him, and said breathlessly: ‘The Rana may refuse to wed me, but he will not refuse to let me stay and take care of Shu-shu, as – as a waiting-woman, or an
ayah
if need be. If he keeps my dowry it will surely pay for what little food I eat, even if I should live to be old, and when he sees that unless I stay with her his wife will pine and die, he will be glad to keep me, while as for Nandu, I know very well that he will not want me back, for after this who is there who would wish to marry one whom the Rana of Bhithor has rejected?’

‘There is one,’ said Ash quietly.

Anjuli's face crumpled like a hurt child's, and she turned sharply away from him and said in a suffocated whisper: ‘I know… But that cannot be, and therefore… you will tell any who ask that I will not go back to Karidkote and that no one can make me do so. And that if I cannot stay in Bhithor as my sister's co-wife, I will stay as her servant. That is all I have to say. Except… except to thank you for warning me, and for all…’

Her voice failed, and she moved her head in a small, helpless gesture that was more pitiful than words, and with shaking hands began to draw the bourka back into place.

For a moment – for just as long as a tear might take to gather and fall – Ash hesitated. Then he reached out and grasped her shoulders, and snatching away the bourka, pulled her round to face him. The sight of her wet cheeks sent a physical pain through his heart and made him speak with more violence than he had intended:

‘Don't be a fool, Juli! Do you imagine for a moment that he will not bed you if you stay here as Shu-shu's servant instead of his wife? Of course he will. Once you are under his roof you will be just as much his property as if he had married you, but without the status of a Rani – or any status at all. He will be able to do exactly as he likes with you, and from what I have seen of him it will probably appeal to his vanity to use the daughter of a Maharajah as a concubine, having rejected her as a wife. Can't you see that your position would be intolerable?’

‘It has often been that,’ returned Anjuli with more composure. ‘Yet I have borne with it. And I can do so again. But Shu-shu –’

‘Oh, damn Shu-shu!’ interrupted Ash explosively. His grip tightened and he shook her so savagely that her teeth chattered. ‘It's no use, Juli. I won't let you. I thought I could, but I hadn't seen him then. You don't know what he's like. He's old –
old.
Oh, not in years, perhaps, but in every other way: in body and face, and in evil. He's rotted with vice. You cannot mate with a creature like that – a hideous, heartless, hairless ape who has shown himself to be without honour or scruples. Do you want to breed monsters? because that is what you'll do: misshapen monsters – and bastards at that. You cannot risk it.’

A spasm of pain contorted Anjuli's wet, tear-streaked face, but her voice was soft and steady and inflexible. ‘I must. You know why. Even if you should be right about his vanity, it will surely satisfy him to be able to treat me as a servant without troubling himself to use me as he would a concubine, and my life will not be too unhappy. I shall at least be of help to my sister, whereas back in Karidkote there would be nothing for me: only disgrace and sorrow, for Nandu would vent his anger on me even more than he will on all those who will be returning there.’

‘You speak as though you had no other choice,’ said Ash. ‘But that is not so, and you know it. Oh, my love – my Heart's-delight' – his voice broke - ‘come away with me. We could be so happy, and there is nothing for you here. Nothing but servitude and humiliation and – no, don't say it, I know that Shushila will be here – but I've told you before that you are wrong about her, that she's a spoilt child who has learned that tears and hysteria will get her almost everything she wants, and so she uses them as weapons, selfishly and ruthlessly to gain her own ends. And she won't even need you after a time, or even miss you – not when she is Rani of Bhithor with a host of women at her beck and call, or when she has children of her own to love and spoil, and play with. And what about me? What if
I
cannot live without you?… Shu-shu isn't the only one who needs you, Heart's-dearest – I need you too… far more than she does. Oh, Juli -’

The tears were running down Anjuli's cheeks, blinding her eyes and choking her voice so that for a time she could not speak; but she shook her head and presently she said in a broken whisper: ‘You told me so before, and I said… I said then that you were strong but that Shu-shu is weak, and so… so I cannot betray her. And if the Rana is as you say, it will be worse for her. You know that I love you… more than anyone… more than life… But – I love her too; and you are wrong when you say she does not need me. She has always needed me. Now, more than ever. And so I cannot… I cannot…’

Once again her voice failed her, and Ash realized with a terrible, sick despair that he would have stood more chance if he had lied to her – made her believe that the Rana was handsome and fascinating, and that Shu-shu could not fail to fall madly in love with him and be far better off without any intrusive half-sister making a third in their blissful life together. Had Juli believed that she might have weakened. But the truth had been fatal because it had shown her only too clearly what lay in store for Shushila – for whom there was no prospect of escape. And being Juli, that was enough to stiffen her resolution and make it appear even more necessary, now, to stay and do everything possible to sustain and comfort and encourage the frightened little sister who must marry a monster. He should have known better, and he had not…

The realization of failure invaded his brain and body in a cold wave, taking his strength from him, so that his hands relaxed their grip and fell from Anjuli's shoulders and he could only stand and stare at her. She stood before him; tall and slender and lovely in the lamplight. And royal – a princess who would become a waiting-maid…

The silence began to fill with little sounds: the flutter of moths about the hanging lamp, the creak of a guy-rope and Anjuli's soft, sobbing breaths; and through them Ash could hear the thumping of his own heart and was surprised to find that it could still beat. Unless it was Juli's heart that he could hear. For an endless interval he studied her drawn face and wide, tear-blurred eyes in a passion of love and pain, until suddenly he could bear it no longer, and reaching out he snatched her into his arms and covered her face with desperate kisses, crushing her to him in the wild hope that physical contact might accomplish what words had failed to do, and break her resistance.

For a time it almost seemed as though he had won. Her arms flew up to circle his neck and he felt her hands pressing the back of his neck while she clung to him with a desperation that equalled his own, and turned up her mouth to meet and return those frantic kisses. Time stopped and stood still for them. They had forgotten Kaka-ji, and everything and everyone else. The world had narrowed down into a charmed and timeless circle in which they were alone together, clinging so closely that it seemed to the old man who watched them that their two figures had merged into one and become a single entity – a flame or a shadow, swayed by an invisible wind…

It was Anjuli who broke the spell. Her arms slid down and she leaned back, and forcing her hands between their two bodies, pressed her palms against Ash's breast to push him away from her. And though he could so easily have held her, he did not try to do so. He knew that he was beaten. Shushila's weakness had proved stronger than his love and his own need, and there was nothing left to say. And nothing else he could do, for he had long ago abandoned any idea of abducting Juli – recognizing that even with her consent the chances of success would be minimal and the risks appalling, while without it there could be no chance at all: only the certainty of death for both of them.

He released her and stood back, and watched her stoop to grope blindly for her bourka. Her hands were shaking so badly that she had difficulty in putting it on, and when she had done so she paused for a moment, holding back the voluminous folds from her face, to gaze at him with the terrible concentration of one who looks for the last time at a beloved face before the coffin-lid is closed upon it, as though she were imprinting him on her memory; learning him by heart so that she would never forget a single detail of feature or expression – the colour of his eyes and the slant of his brows, the set of a mouth that could be grave or grim or astonishingly tender, and the deep un-youthful lines that Belinda and George and life and death in the Border country beyond the North-West Frontier had scored on either side of it. The texture of his skin and the single dark lock of hair that habitually fell across his forehead and and half hid a jagged, silvery scar that had been made by an Afghan knife –

Ash spoke in a flat, controlled voice: ‘If you should ever need me, you have only to send me the luck-charm and I will come. Unless I am dead, I will come.’

‘I know,’ whispered Anjuli.

‘Goodbye –’ his voice broke suddenly – ‘Heart's-beloved – my dear – my darling. I shall think of you every hour of every day, and be glad that I have known you.’

‘And I you. Farewell… my lord and my life.’

The brown folds dropped into place and there was only a dark shrouded figure standing in the pool of light under the hanging lamp.

She went past him as noiselessly as a shadow, and he steeled himself to let her go and did not turn his head when he heard the rasp of canvas as she lifted the tent-flap, or when the lamp swayed once more to a faint draught of air and sprayed a shimmer of stars across the walls and ceiling. The flap fell with a soft thud that was, somehow, an unbelievably final sound. The lamp steadied and the stars were still: and Juli had gone.

Ash did not know how long he stood there, staring at nothing and thinking of nothing, because his mind was as empty as his arms – and his heart.

A movement in the shadows and the touch of a hand on his arm aroused him at last, and he turned slowly and saw Kaka-ji standing beside him. There was neither anger nor shock in the old man's face, only sympathy and understanding. And a great sadness.

‘I have been blind,’ said Kaka-ji quietly. ‘Blind and foolish. I should have known that this might happen, and kept you apart. I am truly sorry, my son. But Anjuli has chosen wisely – for both of you, since had she consented to go with you I am very sure that you would both have died. Her brother Nandu is not one to forgive an injury and he would have hunted you to the death, the Rana aiding him, so it is better this way. And in time you will both forget. Being young, you will forget.’

‘Did you forget her mother, then?’ asked Ash harshly.

Kaka-ji caught his breath and for a fractional moment his fingers bit into Ash's arm: ‘
How did you
–?’ he stopped abruptly.

His hand fell away and he released his breath in a long sigh. His gaze moved past Ash's shoulder to stare into the shadows as though he could see another face there, and his own face softened. ‘No,’ said Kaka-ji slowly. ‘I did not forget. But then I… I was no longer a young man. I was already in my middle years when…
Chut
! no matter! – I put it away from me. There was no other course. Maybe if I had spoken earlier it would have been different, for her father and I had been friends. But she was younger than my own daughters, and having known her since she was a babe in arms she still seemed a child to me – too young for marriage, like the bud of the moon-flower that will wither unopened if it is plucked. Therefore I did not speak but waited instead for her to become a woman – not realizing that she had already become one. Then one day my brother, hearing rumours of her great beauty, contrived to see her: and seeing her, he loved her – and she him…’

Kaka-ji was silent for a space, and then he sighed again, very deeply, and said: ‘After their marriage I left the state – my own children being wed – and went on a pilgrimage to the holy places, seeking enlightenment – and forgetfulness, which I did not find. And when at last I returned it was to find that she had died long since, and of a broken heart, leaving a little daughter for whom I could do nothing, because there was now a new Rani in the palace: an evil woman who had usurped that other's place, and by enslaving my brother's heart and bearing him sons had attained great power and influence over him – while I, who had once been close to him, had through my own folly become a stranger and of no account. Wherefore, finding that I could in no way help her child Anjuli, I withdrew to my own estates and seldom visited the court. And though it was urged upon me, I did not take a second wife because… because I could not forget
her
. I am now old; but still I cannot forget.’

‘Yet you tell me that I shall do so,’ said Ash bitterly.

‘Ah, but then you, my son, are young, and many years of youth lie before you. It will be easier for you.’

‘And what of her? – what of Anjuli? Will it be easier for her?’

Kaka-ji fended off the question with a helpless gesture of his small hands, and Ash said violently: ‘You know it will not! Rao-Sahib,
listen
to me – you have just told me that you could do nothing to help her when she was a child, because of Janoo-Rani. But there is no one now who can stop you from helping her if you choose and you have seen enough of that vile creature who calls himself Rana of Bhithor to know what he is like and how little regard he has for honour or promises. No one could blame you, after all that has occurred, if you decided to withdraw from the contract and take both your nieces back to Karidkote.’