Fast Track (18 page)

“How do you
know that?”

“If she hadn’t
married him, I wouldn’t be here with you.”

“Did you ever
consider marrying her?”

He didn’t know
why she was so hung up on his past relationship, but if it would
put her mind at ease, he was happy to share the details. “Sure, I
considered it, but in the end I knew it would just make both of us
miserable, so I had to let her go. She deserved to be happy. She
deserved to find a guy who wanted the same things she wanted. I
knew I wasn’t that guy.”

“I’m sorry,”
she said, stepping out of his arms. “I have to go.”

“What are you
talking about? Where are you going?”

“Home. I’m not
feeling very well.”

“Anna,
wait-”

“I’m sorry.
Please say goodbye to your family for me.”

He watched her
sprint to the door, feeling helpless to stop her. After noting the
concerned expression on his mother’s face, he made his way back to
the table. “Anna wasn’t feeling well. She asked me to give you her
regrets.”

“Oh, that’s too
bad,” Dee said. “I was hoping we could talk a little more about her
books.”

“I can give you
her contact information,” Justin said, wishing he could find a
plausible excuse to cut the evening short.

“Since your
young lady left, how about taking a twirl around the dance floor
with your old mother?” Colleen asked, offering her hand.

Justin smiled
as he grasped his mother’s hand. “I’d love to.” Leading her to the
dance floor, he waited for her to begin the inquisition.

“Anna seems
like a lovely young lady.”

“She is.”
Justin couldn’t even pretend to focus on anything his mother said.
Every time he tried, the words he’d spoken circled his head,
driving all other thoughts away. How could he have been foolish
enough to tell her he was falling in love with her when he knew she
still had doubts?

“You seem to
care about her a great deal.”

“I do.” That
was an understatement. No words could describe the way Anna had
moved into his life and taken over his thoughts.

“Then why don’t
you go after her and tell her you’re sorry?”

“Sorry for
what?” He may have been premature in telling her how he felt, but
he didn’t think that was reason enough for her to walk out on him.
She was the one who owed him an apology, not the other way
around.

“Whatever you
said or did to make her run out on you like that.”

His mother was
always the first one to take him to task when he’d made a mistake,
so Justin wasn’t surprised she was writing him in the role of the
villain and Anna as the victim. “I didn’t say or do anything.”

Colleen smiled.
“You know how much I love you, son. I can tell you the truth
because I love you. You’re driving that girl away.”

Those words
settled like a brick in Justin’s stomach. That was the last thing
he wanted to do. “How?”

“She reminds me
a lot of myself at her age.”

“How so?”
Justin’s mind raced as he tried to follow his mother’s train of
thought. How could he focus on anything when the woman he’d started
to believe could be the foundation of his future just walked away
without a backward glance?

“She wants what
all young women want, Justin. A man who loves her, stability-”

“I do love
her.” He hadn’t intended to admit that. His mother was like a pit
bull when she sunk her teeth into something she wanted, and if she
decided she wanted Anna as her daughter-in-law, she wouldn’t stop
until she made it happen.

“Oh, Justin,”
Colleen said, covering her mouth. “That’s wonderful.”

Justin muttered
a curse when tears filled her eyes. He shouldn’t have said that.
Giving her hope when Anna obviously didn’t feel the same way wasn’t
fair. “Don’t get too excited, Mom. She left after I told her how I
feel about her.”

Colleen settled
her hand back in his. “Maybe you just caught her off guard.”

He chuckled,
though he was as miserable as he could ever remember being, except
for the day Todd died. “I think that’s a safe bet.”

“What else did
you talk about?”

“Veronica.”

“Why?” Colleen
frowned. “I haven’t heard you talk about her in years.”

“She asked me
if I’d ever been in love before.”

“So you told
her about your relationship with Veronica.” She closed her eyes
briefly. “Honey, she sees herself in Veronica.”

“What are you
talking about? She and Veronica are as different as two women can
be.”

“Maybe, but
they both want or wanted the same thing from you.”

Justin was
getting a headache from trying to decipher his mother’s secret
code. “What are you talking about?”

“I had a little
chat with Lauren while you and Anna were dancing. It seems Anna was
ready to marry another man just a few months ago. They planned to
start a family right away. Did you know that?”

Justin had the
same reaction he always did when he thought of Tom: He grinded his
teeth.

“Stop that,”
his mother said, slapping him on the shoulder. “We paid a fortune
for those perfect teeth of yours. It always drives me crazy when
you do that.”

Justin rolled
his eyes. “What else did Lauren say?”

“She said she
didn’t think Tom was the right man for her cousin. When I asked why
Anna agreed to marry him, Lauren said he offered Anna everything
she wanted: marriage and a family.”

“So?”

Shaking her
head, Colleen smiled. “You don’t even realize what you said, do
you? The message you sent-”

“Just cut to
the chase, Mother.”

Narrowing her
eyes, her way of silently chastising him for inappropriate
behavior, she said, “You said you don’t intend to have children for
a long time. You told her you like your life exactly the way it is.
Translation: you like being single.”

Justin stopped
dancing as her words sank in. “Damn it, I did say that, didn’t I?
That’s not what I meant… exactly. I do want to have kids
eventually. But I want some time alone with my wife before we take
on that kind of responsibility.”

“I’m not the
person you should be telling, son. Go and find Anna. Tell her.”

Justin bent to
kiss her cheek. “Thanks, Mom, you’re the best.”

Anna was climbing into
bed when her doorbell rang. She ran down the hall barefoot,
growling when she stubbed her toe on a doorframe.

Before she
could get to the door, her unwanted guest rang a second time.
Peering through the side panel, she glared at Justin. He didn’t
even have the decency to call first. Not that she would have
answered. As far as she was concerned, they had nothing to talk
about.

“Go away,” she
said through the crack in the door.

He rolled his
eyes. “Can we pretend to be mature adults for half a second? We
can’t discuss this through a crack in the door.”

Miffed that he
would imply she was the immature one, she pulled the door open,
intent on giving him a piece of her mind. His smirk told her she
fell into his trap, but that didn’t mean she would let him have the
last word. “You have five minutes to say your piece, so you’d
better talk fast.” She turned away from the door as though she
could care less whether he followed.

Of course, he
did. “That’s what you wear to bed?” he asked, fixating on the black
drawstring pants riding low on her hips before he turned his
attention to the white tank with spaghetti straps.

Being well
endowed had always seemed like a curse, but when Justin looked at
her with blatant admiration, she couldn’t help but feel blessed.
“What did you think I would wear to bed?”

“I pegged you
for the flannel, teddy bear type.”

“In the middle
of a heat wave?”

He threw his
head back and laughed. “Are you telling me you save those for those
chilly winter nights?”

“Wouldn’t you
like to know?”

“Damn straight
I would,” he said, stepping forward.

Holding her
hand up, she said, “You need to stop right there. Tell me why
you’re here.”

“I was thinking
about our schedules. It wouldn’t be that hard to make it work if we
really wanted to. I get a few months off in the winter; you get a
few months off in the summer. I have business interests in
Nashville. That would give me something to do while you’re at
work…”

She couldn’t
contain her surprise. That was the last thing she expected him to
say. “What are you talking about? I don’t want to have a long
distance relationship with you!”

He smiled.
“You’re mad at me. I get that.” He stepped forward, trapping her
between his body and the wall. “I didn’t realize I was being
insensitive tonight, but my mother made me see that I was.”

“It’s a good
thing you had your mommy there to explain it to you.”

He chuckled. “I
guess I deserved that. Just because I didn’t want to marry Veronica
doesn’t mean I won’t want to marry you. Someday.”

Anna sucked in
a breath. Did he really think she was so desperate that she
expected a marriage proposal from him? “I have no interest in
marrying you. Now or ever.”

“Is that so?”
He flattened his hand on the wall beside her head. “You care to
tell me why I’m not marriage material?”

“You’re just
not.” She made the mistake of raising her chin, which only put her
mouth in closer proximity to his lips. Not a good place to be when
she was trying to convince him and herself that she didn’t want
him. “Your job is too dangerous. You travel all the time. Your kids
wouldn’t even know you.”

“You think I’m
gonna be doing this forever, Anna?” His free hand gripped her hip.
“I love racing, but that doesn’t mean I’ll be behind the wheel
forever. Eventually I’ll step into my old man’s shoes and run the
team.”

She hadn’t
allowed herself to think that far into the future.

Justin shook
his head. “I doubt I’d even want to have kids until then. I want to
be a hands-on dad. Make no mistake about that.”

“I don’t even
know why we’re having this conversation,” she said, trying to slip
out under his arm. “It’s not like we’re ever going to be together…
that way
.”

He tugged on
the drawstrings of her pants to hold her captive. “You wanna tell
me why not?”

“I’ve told you
before: We want different things out of life.”

“No, we
don’t.”

He kissed her
so softly she almost whimpered. Her body instinctively shifted
closer, silently pleading for an encore.

“We both want
to be in love. We want someone to share our lives with, grow old
with. We want a couple of kids…” He ran a hand through her hair,
tilting her head up. “We both want to marry our best friends,
right? We want to have the kind of relationship our parents
have…”

She was
captivated by his words, even more so by the promise she saw in his
eyes. Nodding, she whispered, “Yes.”

“Look, I may
not be a doctor. I may not enjoy playing it safe, but that doesn’t
make me the wrong guy for you.”

She wanted to
object, but she couldn’t. Especially not when her heart told her he
was the perfect man for her, in spite of his reckless choices.

“If you were my
woman, I’d never give you reason to doubt you made the right
choice.”

His words
spread through her, turning her insides to mush. “I never expected
to feel this way about you.”

“What way is
that?”

She knew what
he wanted to hear, but taking the leap of faith with him was the
scariest thing she’d ever had to do. “I’m falling in love with
you.”

Justin released
his breath right before he touched his forehead to hers. “I was
hoping you’d say that.”

“It’s true.”
She wrapped her arms around his waist. “I didn’t want it to be, but
it is.” Since Justin first came to Jimmy’s, she’d invested time
getting to know the real Justin, and she realized it would have
been impossible not to fall in love with him.

“Does that mean
you’re as committed to making this work as I am?”

“I’m willing to
try.” She didn’t have a choice. Letting him go now, after she’d
found the courage to acknowledge her feelings, would break her
heart and make her look like a coward.

“I want to
promise you everything you’ve ever wanted, Anna,” he said, holding
her face in his hands. “I’d give you the world if I could. But it
wouldn’t be fair to either one of us if I started making promises
I’m not sure I can keep.”

“I know that.”
Anna loved him even more for being honest. She knew too many men
would use her dreams to lure her into a false sense of security,
but the fact Justin wasn’t doing that proved he was willing to put
her first.

“The only thing
I can tell you right now is that you make me feel things I’ve never
felt before. You inspire me to take risks I’ve never thought of
taking before,” Justin told her.

She couldn’t
help but smile at that statement. “I inspire you to take
risks?”

“You do.” He
kissed her nose. “You’re a hell of a lot braver than you give
yourself credit for. I may be brave enough to put my life on the
line, but you’re brave enough to put your heart on the line, even
though it didn’t work out for you the last time.”

“You’re not
Tom.”

“No, I’m not.”
He pulled her closer, kissing her. “And I don’t ever want you to
forget that. My racing is important to me but not more important
than you.”

She appreciated
he was willing to give her equal billing with the other love of his
life.

“He didn’t
realize what he had until it was too late. I won’t make that
mistake,” he assured her.

Anna took the
initiative for once and pulled his head down until his mouth met
hers. The kiss quickly escalated from innocent to heated in
seconds. “I want you.” She couldn’t believe she’d actually said the
words aloud, but now that she had, she knew she didn’t want to
retract them.