Fatal (31 page)

"Yes, Stephanie! They're certain. It's gone into remission. The tumor's already shrunk to a quarter of its original size. They say at this rate they won't even have to operate to remove it! My body's just going to take care of itself."

"Oh my God, mom..." I said, covering my mouth, not caring that I was just repeating myself over and over.

My eyes got wet. The words in my open
Microsoft Word document on screen got blurry, as though the digital ink could run.

Adam put his hands on my shoulders and squeezed, even as he leaned over and kissed the top of my head. His super-sensitive hearing must have caught what she'd said, I knew.

"I'm coming home as soon as I can!" I said.

"Oh, Stephanie, Christmas break is coming soon enough. Finish your exams and whatever else you kids do up there. I'll still be here."

She would, I knew. And she was right. I couldn't go, not yet. There were essays to finish, exams to study for. After that initial, awful blizzard, this was my first real winter with snow and I was just starting to enjoy it.

Waiting for that first hug when I got back would be worth it.

Besides, there was something else that I had to do. Thinking about it reminded me to check the time in the bottom corner of my screen. Almost two PM. Almost time for the last thing I had to do before I could put all this craziness behind me and become the person I should have been when I got here.

"So... tell me, sweetie. Have you met a boy, yet?"

Adam kissed the top of my ear, tickling me. I shot him a look, and he bared his teeth in that awfully wolfish grin of his. A couple days rest really did him good. He no longer wore that ratty leather jacket. And, wonder of wonders, he'd even shaved!

My man really did clean up nicely.

I wiped at my eyes as I smiled.

"Maybe," I said, "He's on probation for now, I think."

Adam clutched at his heart, giving a pained expression as he fell onto my bed. I stifled my chuckle.

"Really?
Why don't you tell me all about it? I feel like a whole new person, with a whole new life..."

I really did just want to sit there and talk to my mom for the rest of the day, cell bill and essay both
be damned. But my clock ticked closer and closer to two, and I needed to be somewhere.

"I want to. I really do. But... can I call you back later, mom? I'm going to be late for an appointment."

Adam looked at the clock. He'd apparently forgotten the time, too. He grabbed his new jacket from the hook by the door and tossed it over his shoulders. He shot me a look that said, "Come on, let's go!"

"Oh? Is everything okay?" mom asked, concern
tingeing her voice.

"Yeah.
It will be, anyway, after this is over with."

"Ah. Well, good luck I suppose. I love you, sweetie."

"I love you too, mom. I'll call you later!" I said.

I couldn't bring myself to hit the end call button. I waited until the line went dead from her side before removing the warm cell phone from the side of my face.

Adam started saying something, but I jumped out of my chair and bounded into his arms. He stroked the back of my head as the tears came again. I hugged him tightly.

"It's so incredible!" I said
, my voice muffled with my face pressed against his chest.

"Yeah.
That's so great. But, Steph, we have to go..." Adam said. I could hear the anxiety in his voice, and I remembered that this would bring closure for him, too.

With no small amount of will, I untangled myself from his arms. I wiped my face clean, checking in the mirror to make sure it wasn't too apparent. But they'd been happy tears, so they didn't leave me all puffy and red and stuffed up.

My phone buzzed on my desk, spinning from the force. Still wiping at my eyes with the heel of my hand, I picked up the phone.

"It's Vick. Everything's ready," I said.

Adam grabbed my coat and held it open for me. I slipped into it and pulled on my boots.

The sun was out, making the world brighter than ever. Thick sheets of snow still blanketed the campus, but the break in the weather gave the plows and janitors time to clear the roads, sidewalks, and paths.

A plow went by as we walked, scraping its shovel against the pavement, its engine gunning.

The snow even changed the smell of the place. Everything was fresh and clean. It was only an illusion, I knew. The snow just buried and froze things that would come out when spring melted it all. But for now, Redeemer's campus was pure and innocent.

There was only a light breeze. It plucked at my bangs, rustling the hair against my forehead as Adam and I made the trek all the way over to the fraternity house.

Of course, all that snow also concentrated foot traffic. We had to weave our way around knots of people making their way around to classes, meals, or dorms. All that snow also amplified sound, it seemed. The campus was alive with talk. Despite the scare of the murder, people were even laughing openly again.

I knew there was no way they could all know that things were going back to normal, but it felt that way. Was there something in that fresh winter air that told them?

We rounded the little bend between the trees and brush. Up ahead, the frat house stood at the end where the road curved into a looping driveway. I stopped at the sight of it.

Adam put his arm over my shoulder and pulled my close. We breathed on the same rhythm, the hot air from our bodies pluming together in one cloud in front of our faces.

"Are you ready?" he said.

"Yeah. I think so, anyway. Let's get this done."

I wished there was a way to fast-forward time like it was a movie. I just wanted to get to the end. I wanted it so badly. I didn't want all that intervening time and the events it would bring.

"You can do this. We can do this," Adam said.

He let his arm fall from my shoulder and I caught his hand. We gave each other reassuring squeezes. I had to admit, it really did feel good to not have to go through things alone anymore.

I didn't know just how valuable it was to have another person willing to help carry some of your burden. You accumulated far more baggage over the course of your life than a lot of people would believe. More than any one person can handle alone, really.

By sharing the weight, you could both get through whatever comes.

"Okay, okay..." I said, more to myself than to him.

I looked around in the trees all around the road and the frat house, trying to drag out the moments before I had to set foot in there.

Adam started walking, not letting go of my hand. I wanted to tell him to stop, but I knew that I shouldn't. If he stopped and let go, I think I might just turn around and go back to my dorm room.

I forced the nervous shakes taking my body away. Adam took his position, leaning against the wall next to the door. He couldn't come with me on this, no matter how much I wanted him to. When I looked at him, he gave me a smile and a nod.

I swallowed the lump rising up my throat, forced a smile onto my own lips, and returned that nod.

Then I rang the doorbell. The chimes sounded inside, muffled by the wall. God, this was worse
than going up the hill at the start of a rollercoaster. I pulled at my coat, straightened my hair and brushed it back over my ears, doing anything I could to avoid being still.

Chapter 48

The door opened. Joseph poked his head out. They even wore those stupid letterman jackets inside, it seemed. He smiled when he saw me.

Why did Joseph have to be a part of all this? He still had a boyish face, and an innocent smile. But Eric had pulled him in and he'd made the wrong choice.

"Hi," he said.

"Hey, Joseph.
Is Eric's offer for a party still open? I just need to unwind, you know. All that stress from writing papers and all that."

When he grasped what I was saying, his eyes widened.

"Yeah. Yeah! Come on in. Eric's upstairs."

Joseph turned away to lead me up there.
Right before I slipped through the doorway, I caught Adam's eye again. I needed another dose of reassurance. He nodded again.

Again, I
marveled at how clean the frat house was. How stately it seemed. It was just disgusting and heartbreaking, the rot it had in its core. It needed more people like Vick, and fewer like Eric and Joseph.

The carpeted stairs creaked a little, and the mahogany rail felt cool and smooth under my palm as we went up. When I was sure Joseph wasn't looking, I unzipped my coat and stuck my cell in the inner pocket. I hit the "record" button on it.

Adam and I had checked the recording function on it yesterday. Even with it being buried in a pocket, it easily picked up what we'd said. I hoped it would do the same with Eric.

I followed Joseph down a hall lined with pictures going back decades and decades of all the various members of the frat. A long carpet lined the hall, leaving a bit of space on either side so that you could see the rich hardwood floor underneath.

We came to a door near the end. Joseph knocked on it.

"Yeah?"

My heart started racing as I recognized Eric's voice. I swallowed against the bile rising up my throat. It took every last ounce of willpower I had, with a fair bit borrowed from Adam, to go through with this. It was the right thing to do, I knew. But the right thing so often turned out to also be the hardest..

"Come on," Joseph said, looking at me over his shoulder as he opened the door.

As soon as he did, some awful heavy metal spilled out into the hall. The kind that was all some guy screaming unintelligibly. It made my throat ache in sympathy as I tried to block it out.

Eric had a king-sized bed (of course he did) with gold-trimmed sheets. An enormous computer monitor sat on his corner desk, and a sixty-inch
flat screen was mounted over a fireplace.

This was much more like the frats I was used to from movies. He had posters of swimsuit models all over the place, with a few of the stereotypical ones that all college aged guys seemed to have. There was the obligatory
Scarface
one, a large one of a red Ferrari, another displaying what seemed like a hundred different guns.

The place reeked of expensive cologne. I wrinkled my nose at it.

The man himself lay on his bed, his arms crossed behind his head. He grinned when he saw me. I fought the urge to run out of there.

"Hey,
Stephie," Eric said. I could feel his eyes crawling over me, down past my open jacket, "What brings you here?"

"She says she wants to party!" Joseph added.

Eric shot him a look and he shut up, hunching his shoulders and looking bashful.

"It's always you uptight chicks that secretly want it the most," Eric said, standing up.

He had one of those white wife beaters on, showing a pair of decently muscled shoulders and the top of a hairless chest. His letterman jacket hung on the back of his desk chair. It was somewhat jarring not to see him in it.

He came up so close I could smell his breath. It seemed he'd eaten a whole bag of Doritos not long before. I almost gagged, but managed to keep my smile as he looked down at me with those hungry eyes.

"What kind of party did you have in mind, Stephie?" he said. His fingers flexed at his sides, and I knew he wanted to touch me so badly.

I flicked my hair back and pretended to have some interest in a poster on the other side of the room of two girls kissing.

Panic flashed through me. This was the point where I had to really put the plan in motion. What if I did it wrong? What if he didn't say what I wanted him to?

I had to keep reminding myself that Adam was right outside the door. All I had to do was
scream. Vick wasn't far behind, either.

I licked my lips as I turned back to him, trying to make the gesture as sexy and distracting as possible. He seemed to buy it, his eyes again admiring my body. I wanted to pull my coat closed, but I also wanted to make the recording as clear as possible.

"I don't know... How about the kind of party you and Joseph threw for Jenn?"

I could barely hear myself over the rush of blood past my ears.

Joseph looked like I'd just kicked him between the legs. I found myself enjoying his discomfort. Eric, on the other hand, just frowned.

"Jenn?
Jenn who?" he said.

My body stiffened as a hot ball of anger burst in my chest. This couldn't be happening. How could he not even remember her? Just what kind of monster was Eric Putnam?

"Jenn McClaughlin," I said through clenched teeth, "The girl you and Joseph raped and murdered."

I could barely spit out the words. I basked in the heat of my anger. It made me brave. Yes, I could do this. I could get through it. This asshole needed to go down.

Eric's eyes widened for just a moment, a muscle twitching in his cheek before he got control of himself again.