Fatal Deception (14 page)

As she strode through the hallway, she heard Harrison talking on the phone before she saw him. His office door was cracked open so she gently pushed it aside and stepped in.

Sprawled in the chair behind his desk he wore a dark blue cable knit sweater she’d bought for him. With his head tilted to the side in his free hand, the phone against his ear, he looked bored and adorable.

The moment he saw her, he straightened. His dark eyes scanned her with unrepentant need as he took her in from head to toe. Considering how distant he’d been, the knowledge that he still desired her was a soothing balm to her senses. Just as quickly, his expression shuttered. He held up a finger and mouthed that he’d only be another minute.

Yeah, we’ll just see about that.
Dropping the towel from her body, she strode toward his desk with single-minded determination. She’d originally come to ask him with help in combing her hair even though she could do it by herself now. Seeing him killed her intention, replacing it with one she knew she should wait on, but simply couldn’t. Her body was definitely up to this as long as they took things slow. Even with her injury, she’d been so hot for him the past week. The way he’d been taking care of her melted her insides. Cool air rushed over her body, hardening her nipples as she walked completely bare to him.

His eyes were wide as he watched her skirt around his desk. He still held the phone to his ear, but she had a feeling he wasn’t listening to a word being said. She hadn’t attempted to replace her bandage because at this point she didn’t need one. The stitches holding the wound were almost healed on the outside and she wasn’t bleeding.

As she rounded his desk, he swiveled in his chair, still watching her every move. She could see emotions warring inside him and she wanted to wipe away any doubt he had. She’d screwed up big time by hiding her past from him. She knew that and she also knew she needed to see a counselor. Considering she’d been compartmentalizing stuff since she was a kid, she probably should have talked to someone a long time ago. But she was willing to fight for her marriage and if she had to play dirty to do it, she would. She loved Harrison and wouldn’t let him go without giving it her all. Even if baring herself to him right now made her feel more vulnerable than she ever had in her life.

Giving him her backside, she moved his laptop to the side. Behind her, she heard him make a strangled sound. She bit back a smile and moved his other paperwork to the side in a neat pile. Then she turned back to him and sat on his desk. Spreading her legs, she placed a foot on either arm of his chair. His eyes turned smoky and the dampness between her legs intensified. She might have been nervous about his reception of her like this, but he definitely still wanted her. She just hoped there was more to it than physical need.

“I’ll call you back,” he rasped to whoever was on the other line and blindly slammed the phone down into its cradle.

His heavy lidded gaze zeroed in on the juncture between her thighs for a moment before his calloused hands landed on her knees. Slowly, he slid them up a few inches then stopped, his fingers tightening as if he needed to force himself to remain immobile. “What are you doing?”

“You really need me to explain?” Mara felt more exposed than she ever had at that moment.

“Honey… We need…” He trailed off again as he hungrily eyed her.

She swallowed hard and slid off the desk. Straddling him, she settled over his hips and wasn’t surprised when she felt his erection pushing against her. “Do you still want me?”

His fingers wrapped around her hips in a possessive manner and he jerked slightly underneath her. “What do you think?” Hunger flared in the dark depths of his gaze.

“I think we still haven’t talked about our future.” They’d learned a lot this past week about Perdue including how he’d figured out where the shelter was—she was disabling any future vehicle GPS systems because of it—her former boss had discovered the mole within MI6, and the agency had managed to locate another bank account belonging to Perdue. She was sure there were more out there, but it didn’t matter because he was gone forever and would never terrorize another woman again. That was the real win for her. So far during her recovery she and Harrison had talked about everything under the sun except their future.

“You’re still healing,” he protested.

“My mind isn’t injured. I can still think and talk and I want to talk about us. If you can’t forgive me or you want me out of your life, just tell me now. I need to know.” The not knowing was killing her. If he did kick her out of his life, she was desperate to know so she could start preparing herself for the heartbreak of living without this man.

His expression turned fierce. “I don’t want to live without you. I
won’t
.” There was an edge to his words and she felt like he was holding something back.

“I don’t want to live without you either, but I know how much I’ve hurt you. Hurt us. I have trust issues and they’re not going to go away on their own. This week I’ve…been researching different counselors. You don’t have to go with me, but I found a marriage counselor who might be a fit for us.” She was going no matter what. She’d been bottling things up forever and she had to let some of her issues go. The trouble was, she had no idea how to work through some of her problems and after this, she wasn’t afraid to ask for help. But she was afraid Harrison would balk at actually seeing a counselor.

“Counseling?” he said the word as if it was a foreign concept. Which she knew it probably was. Caldwell men did not see psychologists. It was the way they were wired, but if she and Harrison were going to get past this, she wanted outside help.

“I know this wouldn’t normally be your thing, but I don’t want your resentment of my lies to grow. You can say you’ll forgive me and mean it now, but what happens if we can’t trust each other after this? I just…I need to talk to someone who is objective to work through some stuff and I really want you by my side. If you’re not comfortable going, that’s fine. I’ll never push you to—”

“I’ll go.”

She blinked, unsure she’d heard right. “Really?”

He frowned at her. “Don’t act so surprised.”

“I’ve heard you make fun of psychologists and psychiatrists before. I know how you feel about them.”

He sighed and shook his head. “I love you, Mara. It still burns me up inside that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me about your past, but I have no doubt how much you love me. I want to understand why you couldn’t trust me and help you work through it so that this is never an issue for us in the future. And I do want a future with you. I want forever with you.”

The tidal wave of relief almost made her dizzy. Tears burned her eyes, but when she went to bat them away, he cupped her jaw and brushed them off her cheeks with his thumbs.

Neither of them said anything for a long moment until finally Harrison’s hands slid back to her waist where he held her gently. The feel of his fingers on her bare skin sent shivers spiraling through her, making her clit pulse with need. She wanted him to touch her everywhere.

“I don’t like the thought of you using sex to keep me distracted,” he said quietly.

Unable to control herself, she let out a sharp bark of laughter. “I’m not. Sex has always been the one thing between us I could trust to be real. It’s the one thing that’s
always
right. I’m not trying to distract you, I
want
you…and okay, maybe I wanted you in the right frame of mind. I figured if I came in here naked it would be harder for you to outright kick me out of your life.” Saying the words aloud sent a cold wave through her, though it didn’t douse the desire she felt for him.

His brow creased, the lines scrunching as he frowned. “I could never do that.”

She shrugged, the action jerky, pulling the healing flesh in her shoulder. “I was scared that you were only being nice until I was healed.” Even admitting that to him made her heart race. Laying herself bare in the non-physical sense was always a lot harder, but she also felt relief by opening up to him.

“Never, ever. You’re mine, Mara.” His expression and tone were serious, alleviating the threads of doubt she’d felt taking root inside her. Leaning forward, he gently brushed his lips over hers, the action almost chaste, but she could sense his restraint.

She grew wetter at the thought of him taking her here on his desk. They’d never actually done that before and now probably wasn’t the time considering how sore she was, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t use his chair.

Smiling against his mouth, she reached between them and tugged his belt free, loving that she could illicit this reaction in him.

“You’re still healing,” he muttered against her mouth, but there was no heat in his words as she pulled his zipper down.

“It hurts not having you inside me.” When she went to grasp his boxers, she realized he was commando. Pulling back, she looked down at his gorgeous cock which had sprung free, then she met his gaze. “Why aren’t you wearing boxers?”

He actually looked sheepish, like a kid caught doing something wrong. “I was hopeful that you’d be feeling better today.”

It warmed her heart that he’d planned on this too. They had some issues to work through but nothing was insurmountable if they were both willing to put in the effort. And she understood that sex couldn’t fix everything, but the fact that they were so compatible in this area meant a hell of a lot. His need for her made her feel wanted and cherished. The way Harrison had always looked at her was so different than the way any man ever had.

As he continued kissing her, he cupped her mound and slid a finger along her slit. He didn’t penetrate immediately, but instead teased her opening before pushing inside her, testing her slickness. He groaned against her mouth while he slowly dragged his finger against her inner walls.

Clenching around him, she silently begged for more. As if he read her mind, he slid another one into her wetness. She lifted up onto her knees, wanting to place her breasts in his line of sight. Right now she was feeling needy and a little bit desperate for him and had no problem letting him know exactly what she wanted.

He chuckled lightly as he pulled his mouth from hers. “Always so impatient.”

“At least I’m honest about what I want during sex.”

A low rumble reverberated in his chest as he took one of her nipples between his teeth. He pressed down with enough pressure that she was squirming in his lap, trying to grind against his fingers, but he held her hip in that immovable and completely possessive grip that she so loved.

Even when she was on top, he was all about the control.

She clutched his shoulder with one hand and reached for his cock with her other. As he lazily flicked his tongue over her nipple, she grasped his hard length. Caressing him just as slowly as he seemed intent to tease her, she smiled when he made a growling sound against her breast.

Yeah, two could play that game. She might be impatient by nature, but she could tease him right back. Tightening her grip around him, she stroked him from his shaft to the head of his cock. She wanted to take him in her mouth, but she could sense the untamed energy humming through him and knew he wouldn’t let her go down on him right now. Each time she drew her hand up his shaft, his hips jerked unsteadily.

“I want you in me,” she whispered as he switched breasts.

Running his tongue around her areola, he barely paused as he withdrew his fingers and impaled himself in her. She arched her back, pushing her breast farther into his mouth as he completely filled her. His cock stretched and pushed deep, stealing her breath. Panting in shallow breaths, she remained still as she got used to his size again. A week without sex with him and her body always needed to adjust.

He sucked hard on her nipple, the sharp action dragging another moan from her.

“I really am sorry…I didn’t tell you…about past,” she gasped out as he pinched her other nipple between his thumb and forefinger. The action made her clit pulse.

His other hand clasped around her hip, holding her still when she would have started riding him. Then he looked up at her, his dark eyes bright with hunger. “You don’t have to say you’re sorry anymore. We’re going to work through this.” He rolled his hips against hers suddenly, pushing deeper and filling her with more pleasure than she’d thought possible.

Her inner walls molded around him perfectly. No matter how many times they made love, she never got tired of him or the way he made her feel. She might have been too scared to admit who she was to Harrison, but her body had always felt safe with him. Had always known he would never let her down.

And he hadn’t.

It touched her on the deepest level that her control freak of a husband was willing to go to counseling with her. He wanted to make this work as much as she did. Unbelievable warmth and joy spread through her at the knowledge.

As he pumped into her again, his hand loosened around her hip and she let go of the thin thread of her own control and started riding him. The chair made soft squeaking sounds as they found their perfect rhythm. When he rubbed his thumb over her clit, she lost it, her orgasm shattering through her, sending spirals of pleasure to all her nerve endings.

Her husband was right there with her, shouting her name before slanting his mouth over hers. He kissed her hungrily as he came inside her, hot and long.