Feather in the Storm: A Childhood Lost in Chaos (27 page)

Late that night Old Crab went outside to his family’s latrine to relieve himself. As he squatted in the dark, he suddenly saw two bare feet planted in the earth in front of him. He looked up and was shocked to see Shuizi’s father standing over him. At first he didn’t recognize the man because of his attire. He was wearing his PLA tunic from the Korean War, with his medal for heroism pinned prominently over his heart.

Old Crab rose to his feet and asked, “What are you doing out so late?”

A hand shot out and grabbed him by the throat and jerked him forward. Old Crab’s loosened trousers fell to his ankles. Shuizi’s father
pulled Old Crab’s face close to his own. Old Crab struggled to breathe. Two wide, hate-filled eyes glowed like burning coals in the darkness only inches away. Old Crab felt the hot breath against his face. “You filthy piece of dog shit! I should drown you right here, right now,” Shuizi’s father growled.

Old Crab pawed wildly but ineffectually at his assailant. As he struggled, the fingers tightened around his throat like a steel trap. A final plea for mercy issued forth as a pathetic, barely perceptible squeak

“If you ever touch my boy again, I swear, Old Crab, I’ll kill you. Just as sure as the sun rises in the east, I’ll find you and I’ll kill you. Do you understand?”

Old Crab nodded frantically. Shuizi’s father flung him to the ground. Old Crab was paralyzed by fear as the other stood over him. He didn’t move or speak. And then, as quietly as he’d appeared, Shuizi’s father disappeared in the blackness.

During the next weeks Shuizi’s father nursed him back to health. Jinlan was beaten by her father and warned not to see Shuizi again. Soon she was back at work in the fields.

I saw Jinlan one afternoon leading a water buffalo through a nearby rice paddy. I ran to join her and we both crawled onto the back of the animal. I sat behind her, my arms locked around her waist. Each of us was reluctant to say anything at first. After an uncomfortable silence, I told her, “I heard what happened, Jinlan. And I’m sorry. Shuizi is a good man.”

She touched my clasped hands and said, “I know, Yimao.”

We stopped beside a river and let the buffalo graze. We sat on the grass and put our feet in the water. I remembered sitting near the same place with Chunying a few years earlier and watching her make her wedding shoes.

“What do you think will happen?” I asked Jinlan.

“My father convinced Old Crab that Shuizi raped me. He insisted it was not my fault.”

“You mean they believe it was Shuizi’s fault?” I asked.

“Not Shuizi alone,” she said. “Old Crab and my father concluded that what happened was caused by a fox spirit.”

A fox spirit, according to local legend, was a crafty ghost that roamed the countryside in search of an unwary victim. When it found one, it possessed her and tempted her into sexual misbehavior. This superstition was contrary to the socialist thought of the Communist Party and Chairman Mao. Yet it was only one of many that continued to be a persuasive and powerful force in the countryside. The Communist Party’s effort to destroy or discredit such provincial irrationalities had failed miserably.

“What are they going to do about it?” I asked.

“You don’t believe this, do you, Yimao? Your parents are teachers. Surely you know better.”

“Of course I don’t believe it,” I said. “But what is Old Crab going to do?”

“Old Crab took two bottles of good wine from my father and used them to induce Medium Zhang from Zhang Village to come here for an exorcism. He’s going to chase the fox spirit out of me. And then they’re going to marry me to Young Crab.”

“Will you marry him?”

“Marry Young Crab? I’d rather die,” she said.

She confided that she had visited Shuizi in his home late at night. She’d spoken to his father. “He said he’d help us. He said he’d take care of everything.”

“Will he do that?”

“I don’t know. But I hope so. You know the story of Shuizi’s mother, don’t you?”

“I’ve never seen her.”

“She died giving birth to Shuizi,” she said. “Shuizi’s father never remarried. They say he still nurses a broken heart. He knows how Shuizi and I feel.”

“I really hope you can marry Shuizi,” I blurted out.

She took my hand and said, “So do I.” And then we cried.

Several days later Old Crab went from shed to shed and explained that he had summoned a medium to Gao Village. He told us that we must close our doors and windows to keep the freed fox spirit from possessing us. Finding no new victim in our village, the fox spirit would flee to another.

The next day Medium Zhang arrived. Old Crab ran up and down the paths between the sheds, pounding on his cymbal, crying, “Stay in your shed. Close the window. Close the door. Don’t come out until I tell you.”

A few handpicked men were allowed to assist the exorcist. They had to be at least forty years old. The day was overcast and warm. Not long after Old Crab instructed everyone to stay inside, it started to rain.

Our hut was near the warehouse where it was believed the fox ghost first found Jinlan. The exorcism was to take place there. My parents followed orders and closed the door and windows. I went to my room and opened the window a slit and peeked out. I’d never seen anything like this before—catching a fox spirit.

I watched the rain and saw rivulets in the paths through the village turning into little streams. Finally I saw movement through the curtain of rain. Several forms materialized. They were eight men from the village—ghost catcher assistants—carrying a pallet over their heads. As they passed our shed, I saw that Jinlan was tied to the pallet. She stared straight up into the rain without blinking. She was like someone in a trance. Long acupuncture needles protruded from her forehead, breasts and thighs.

The exorcist was the last man in the procession. He held a pole that was nearly nine feet long. A bundle of rooster feathers dangled loosely from a leather thong affixed to the end of it. He slapped the feathers back and forth through the rain like a fan. In his other hand he carried a bundle of joss sticks. The rain had quenched most of them, but a few still sent trails of incense into the air. He repeatedly chanted a cryptic incantation. His voice rose to a near shriek and plummeted to a deep
hoarse bass. The men somberly repeated the chants. Old Crab guided the procession through the heavy downpour.

“What are they going to do with Jinlan?” I asked myself. “And why did they take off her clothing?”

I sneaked out of the house and followed the procession at a safe distance, careful to stay out of sight. When the men entered the warehouse, I ran to the far side. I knew from living in the building that there was a slit between the wall and the roof on that side. I could see in if I stood on my tiptoes.

I peered inside. The men put down the pallet in the center of the room. Two kerosene lanterns had been lit. The village men stared at Jinlan’s naked body as they stood around her. The exorcist circled the pallet and continued his chants. Old Crab stood in a corner of the room, his eyes glued to Jinlan, his face flushed. After several minutes the exorcist stood very still and closed his eyes as if listening for distant voices. No one made a sound. I could see Jinlan’s bare breasts rise and fall slowly. Her unseeing eyes remained open. The only sounds were the steady drip and hiss of rain and the rapid pounding of my heart.

The exorcist opened his eyes and blinked. He announced it was time for the others to leave. The moment had come to expel the fox spirit. No one else should remain in the building because the spirit might take refuge in them.

The men were ushered out by Old Crab, who closed the door behind him. I heard the men splashing down the path on the opposite side of the building.

The exorcist waited several minutes without moving. At last he turned and opened the door a crack and peeked out to make sure the men had followed his instructions. Assured that they had, he closed the door tightly and locked it with a crossbar. He turned to Jinlan’s supine figure. He lay down his feathered pole and the joss sticks and stood over her. Slowly he reached down with both hands and covered her small breasts. He caressed and pinched them, whispering something to her. She did not respond. He untied her quickly.

Then he did a little dance around her and sang a few phrases and touched parts of her body. Still she didn’t move. He grasped her ankles and pulled her legs apart. He stepped back and untied his long black robe. He pulled off his trousers and underwear. He climbed onto the pallet and lay atop Jinlan. I covered my mouth to muffle a cry and hoped he wouldn’t hurt her.

The exorcist made a strange sound, as if in pain. It was not another incantation but a long sighing “oh.” His naked hips pressed down on Jinlan. His bright red face hung in the air above hers, a long thread of saliva dripping from his mouth onto Jinlan’s frozen features.

The exorcist shuddered several times as if being tickled, made one long gasp and collapsed against Jinlan. He pushed himself off her body and stood beside the pallet. He pulled up his trousers and put on his robe. He withdrew a cloth from his bag and wiped off Jinlan’s thighs, which had become wet during the exorcism.

There was a faint knock on the door. “Are you finished yet?” came a furtive whisper. I recognized the voice of Old Crab.

The exorcist unbarred the door and let him in.

“Well?” Old Crab said as he looked at Jinlan and then at the exorcist.

The exorcist smiled and winked at him. “Young Crab is a lucky boy,” he said. “Just look at her,” and he turned to Jinlan. “Long legs. Round belly. Soft breasts. Nothing at all like the sows customarily produced in Gao Village.” He ran his hands over her.

The look on Old Crab’s face said that he agreed.

“Do you have a cigarette?” the exorcist asked.

Old Crab pulled a pack from his pocket and handed one to the man. He gave him a box of matches and said, “You’ve had your fun. Now it’s my turn. Go outside and watch the door. I’ll let you in after you finish smoking.”

“When I am finished?” the exorcist asked and chuckled. “I’ll be back in one minute. That’s more than enough time for you.”

“Don’t rush me,” Old Crab said. “I’m the team leader!” Before he
could continue, the exorcist burst out laughing and exclaimed, “Okay! Okay!” He let himself out and stood under the overhang of the roof and smoked. Old Crab shut the door and turned to Jinlan.

I feared the exorcist might walk around the building, so I scrambled back home. I went to my room and waited. Two or three minutes later I heard Old Crab banging his gong. “The fox spirit is gone,” he shouted. “You can come outside.”

————

During the next weeks preparations were finalized for the wedding of Jinlan and Young Crab. The ceremony was scheduled to take place during the Moon Festival. Jinlan resumed her duties, leading the water buffalo out to graze. I accompanied her several times but never told her what I’d seen. She never mentioned it, either. I wondered if she’d been given a potion in addition to the acupuncture, perhaps, to render her unconscious and incapable of remembering what had been done to her.

When we talked, Jinlan was wistful. She never spoke of her approaching wedding. She talked constantly of Shuizi.

“Jinlan,” I asked, “how are you going to avoid marrying Young Crab?”

“Will you keep a secret?” she asked, and her eyes sparkled.

“Yes,” I said. “You are my best friend, Jinlan.”

“I’m going to have Shuizi’s baby. We’re going to run away.”

“Where will you go?” I asked.

“Shuizi’s father has a comrade in Shenyang. He saved the man’s life when they fought the Americans in Korea. He carried the man to safety when he was wounded. They stay in touch. We’re going to live with him. I’ll have our baby there. Shuizi’s father has made the arrangements.”

“I’ll miss you, Jinlan,” I said. I put my arms around her neck and began to cry. “Will you ever come back?”

“Not until Old Crab is dead,” she said through her own tears.

“But Old Crab is never going to die,” I bawled. “You’ll never come back.”

“I will,” she said. “And when I do, I’ll bring my baby and let you hold him.”

“If you have a girl, Jinlan,” I said, “promise me you’ll keep her. Promise me you won’t throw her away.”

“I promise,” she whispered. “Don’t worry.”

Two days before Jinlan was to marry Young Crab, Jinlan and Shuizi disappeared. Old Crab and Young Crab were furious. They organized search parties during the next weeks and combed the surrounding countryside and visited nearby villages.

Jinlan’s parents were inconsolable. They could not understand how their daughter could do such a disrespectful and faceless thing to her parents. They suggested that the exorcist had failed to cast out the fox spirit and that Old Crab had lied to them. Old Crab resented their suggestions and demanded that they return the engagement money. He should have known that their daughter was a little whore, he said. The very idea that his son would marry such a girl was absurd.

————

Later that year Old Crab announced that his son would marry the daughter of a team leader from a nearby village. The wedding was to take place after the Spring Festival. In the meantime, there was more exciting news for Gao Village. We were told our sheds would soon have electricity. Ever since we’d lived in the village there had been only a single electric line that was used exclusively for the loudspeakers. We used kerosene lanterns and candles to illuminate our homes. The commune requested that each village send one individual to the headquarters for training in electrical installation. Old Crab sent his son to the class. After one day in class, Young Crab was given the title of electrician and put in charge of bringing electrical lines into Gao Village.

A high-voltage line ran from the commune to the village. Young
Crab went from hut to hut, installing wires for lighting. Old Crab, of course, was the first to have his home wired, even though his was not the hut closest to the power source. Old Crab supervised the work of his son and helped out when asked. One afternoon they went to the shed of Shuizi’s father, the last shed in the village to be wired. The men punched a hole in the mud wall and pulled the wire through and fastened the end of it to an overhead beam. Old Crab asked Shuizi’s father to stand on a bench and strip the wires while he went to his hut to retrieve an outlet for a bulb. Shuizi’s father stood on the bench and began stripping the wires. Several times he accidentally cut the wire along with the insulation. Young Crab watched and finally said, “Let me do it.”