February Waltz (Rhythm of the Heart Book 3) (3 page)

Grams turned again and shrugged. “Compromise. Sometimes you gotta give up what you want most for the greater good. Plus lots of relations don't hurt either.”

Calvin jumped up from the chair. “Oh man, I don't need to think about that. Thanks for the chat. Let me take the food in to her.”

Grams laughed. “Go spend time with your girl.”

Timing just ain't right...
Calvin sighed to himself as he watched his wife carefully brushing her dark hair. Her hands worked through the silken strands to braid it quickly. She wore a pair of black pants, a grey top and a stormy expression. Today they would be burying her father and Calvin hated it.
I wish I could take every bit of the pain away for her. I wish she didn't have to do this.

She turned from the mirror with a tremulous smile. “I'm ready.”

“It's going to be okay, baby.” Calvin took her hand and helped her to her feet.

“Yeah, I know. I just want to get this over with.”

“Grams said she got the old wheelchair out of the garage. You can sit in that so you are resting.”

“How nice of her,” she whispered softly.

Calvin led her through the house to the front yard, where his family waited. Tim stood stoically beside his baby sister, for once in his life dressed for the correct occasion. “We're ready.”

“Zoe honey, don't you look pretty.” Grams smiled.

“Thanks,” she replied, no emotion to her voice.

She's shutting everything away and running from the emotion. Maybe it's best for right now.

Calvin helped her sit in the car and Layla and Tim crawled in the back. Grams and Pops loaded up in the truck and they headed for the cemetery. The funeral director agreed on a grave site burial, no church, due to Zoe's condition. There would be a few words and then the burial. Closed casket. Simple and to the point.

He had tried to ask her what she would want, but Zoe offered no opinion on the situation so he did what he thought was best. As they parked at the cemetery, Calvin was taken back to the time they visited their parents’ graves together. The sun didn't shine today and there was no magic in the air as there had been then. Instead the sky hung low and grey, storm clouds billowing on the horizon and a stiff wind blew, chilling them all as they stepped out.

Pops came around the car with the wheelchair. “Here, baby.”

“Thanks.” She whispered as she sat down on the leather seat.

Calvin grasped the handles and pushed her slowly up the hill and into the cemetery. The little pathways meandered through the graves and he rolled her along. “It's going to be okay, Zoe.” He murmured as he leaned down and kissed her cheek.

“Yeah.” She replied.

A small throng of people stood by the grave site, where a simple black casket was ready to be lowered into the ground. Calvin heard Zoe's breath catch and he longed for nothing more than to sweep her into his arms and take her as far away from the scene as he could.
But I can't.

They came to the edge of the throng and it parted to let them roll through. Calvin saw many faces he recognized. Lucas, Minnie Wilder, Maurice in a muted suit, and Callie Derringer, the floozy of the group. She wore a skin tight black dress that would have made most hard core whores blush in shame. Calvin shook his head.
Wow, how pathetic can you be?

“No closer.” Zoe whispered.

“Okay.” They stood back a bit from the grave and Calvin came to her side to hold her hand. Callie watched them both with piercing blue eyes and she stiffened as he comforted his wife.

Too bad, sweetheart. I don't know what you thought this would be, but you're wrong.

The preacher came to the grave and said a few words, very simple ones. “We are gathered here to mourn the loss of Ed Parker, Father and friend. Does anyone have anything they'd like to say? A memory they would like to share?” He glanced out at the crowd with hopeful eyes.

The crowd was silent for a moment until Zoe spoke up. “I have something to say.”

The preacher smiled. “Please do.”

Calvin rested his hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently. She brought her hand up and patted his as she spoke. “My daddy wasn't perfect, by a long shot. He found himself lost after my momma died and he couldn't find himself. He hurt me, he hurt people he said he cared for. But he tried in his last hours to redeem himself. Maybe we could all learn a bit from that. Just maybe. That's all I have to say. Thanks.”

He leaned down and kissed her cheek. “You did good, baby.”

She glanced up, her eyes glassy with tears. “Thanks.”

The preacher paused again, looking around the crowd, waiting for someone to speak. As it became apparent no one else was speaking up, he looked down at his worn Bible with a nervous cough. Finally, a voice spoke up.

“I'd like to say something.” Minnie Wilder stepped forward.

“Please do!” He replied enthusiastically, mopping his glistening brow with a shaky hand.

Minnie smiled softly and glanced back at Zoe, who nodded. “I'd like to say I loved Ed. For a little while. He wasn't easy to love, but I fell for him and I think a little bit he for me. I never really knew Ed before his wife died, so I don't know how he once was, but I know he cared deeply for his daughter, even though he didn't know how to show it. Like she said, he wasn't perfect, but he attempted to make amends for his wrongs. I know where ever he may be, he'd say don't cry for me, and let's get this over with. I know that much.” She smiled at Zoe again and stepped back into the throng.

The preacher mopped at his forehead again. “Okay. Well anyone else?” Another pregnant pause stretched as he waited.

Zoe said with an eerie calm, “Can we just get this over with, please?”

“Cer - certainly!” He spluttered, thumbing through his Bible. His voice droned on as he read a simple passage. When he finished, he stepped back from the grave with an unsure step. “The service is over.”

Zoe nodded. “Thank you all for coming. You're welcome to stay if you want while they put the dirt in, I plan to. But you're not required.”

Callie was the first to break away from the group and she hustled through the chill, damp grass to her car. Others followed slowly, rubbing their arms in the brisk air, whispering amongst themselves at how odd the whole service was, and how calm and strong Zoe seemed. Another whisper Calvin's ears caught was how very pregnant Zoe was and the ever burning question as to if it was “poor Derek's” or his.

As the small crowd thinned, a young woman in a loose black dress caught his eye.
Is that Amy?
Her frame was gaunt and her dress billowed around her as a gust of wind swept by. The material of her dress tugged against her body and his eyes widened as he focused in on her.
No way...

Zoe tugged at his hand and whispered, “I'm ready to go.”

“Okay, babe.” He grabbed the handles of the chair and wheeled her away. The dull sound of dirt hitting the top of the casket filled the air and Calvin's throat tightened.
It's not fair we both lost our parents...

Zoe squeezed her eyes shut as they rolled along.
That's it then. He's gone.
Her stomach clenched and she blew out a slow breath as she opened her eyes.
It will be okay, it has to be. I just...Want to run, but there's nowhere to run.
Her mind flitted from thought to thought.
Did I really see Amy there? She looked really rough... Why was she there? The bitch! And Callie? Really? Ugh. Why did no one say anything? Why?

As they rolled up to the car, she stood on shaky legs and took Calvin's hand. His warm brown eyes bored into hers and she shifted her glance away, effectively shutting him out.
My eyes give me away, so I won't look at you. Not right now, Calvin.

“Zoe,” he whispered, his touch searing through her shirt to brand her shoulder.

“Yeah?” She asked, still not meeting his eyes.

“Don't close me out, please.”

“I'm fine, Calvin.” She shifted into the car and began slowly pulling the door closed.

He removed his hand and Zoe sighed in relief as she shut the door firmly closed... Both literally and figuratively on her emotions.
I just can't.

Tim and Layla clambered in the back, their hushed whispers of love and secrets barely kissing her ears as Calvin started the car.
Oh to be young and in love with no worries...What I wouldn't give...
She swallowed against the pain blossoming in her chest.
It's all my fault we've got these worries. All mine.
A barrage of tears flickered at the edge of her lashes and she blinked rapidly, pushing them away along with the dark thoughts.

The baby shifted just then, and a ghost of a smile crossed her mouth.
Well, you're the one thing I've done right. Even if I don't know who your daddy is. I will be the best damn momma any little girl has ever had. I promise, baby. Pinkie promise and cross my heart hope to die...

She frowned as Calvin turned down the road to the beach. “Where are we going?”
Dumb question, Zoe.

He smiled and her heart pitter-patted as he glanced over at her. “For a quick ride.”

“I'm supposed to be in bed.” She groused, folding her arms across her chest.

“You've been sitting up this long, another five minutes won't hurt, Zoe. Just ride and look at the water. I think it will do you good.” He reached over and squeezed her thigh, the jolt of his hand on her skin searing straight up into her core.

Stop that!
She commanded her body. “Fine,” she answered.

Tim leaned forward. “Hey, Zoe.” His rough voice was for once in his life soft.

“Hey, Tim.”
Sigh.

“You okay?” His roughened timbre dropped to feather softness. It was something she couldn't bear. The kindness was too much.

“Oh, you know, never better. Just buried my dad and all. Thanks for asking.” The acerbic reply tumbled from her lips before she could stop it and Tim sighed in her ear.

“Stop it,” he whispered. “It's okay to be weak sometimes, Zoe.”

“I'm fine, Tim. The man hurt me for years and he's gone now. All is good, whatever. Just get off my back.”

Calvin glanced at her with a frown. “Zoe.”

“Zoe this, Zoe that. Just leave me alone. I want to go home and sleep,” she snapped.

Tim sat back against the seat and shook his head. “Damn, you're stubborn.”

“And you're a bossy dick. But we don't talk about that do we?” she growled.

“Hey! Just because you're hurting doesn't mean it's okay to hurt everyone else, Zoe!” Layla yelled.

Calvin pulled off the road and shut the car off. “Okay, look. We're not going to sit here and yell at each other. She doesn't need the stress. Yes, she's being short, but her dad died. If she wants to go home, we'll just go home, okay? Is it what you want, Zoe?”

“Yes,” she mumbled, staring out the window at the steely sky.

“Fine,” he said simply, starting the car and turning around on the two lane road. “Home you go.”

Good!
She yelled in her mind.
Because I don't want to sit here and have everyone going 'Oh poooooor Zoe, she lost her daddy and blah blah blah.' Just leave me alone. Isn't that simple enough?

They were silent on the short ride back to the house and as Calvin parked, Zoe threw the door open and frowned up at the stoic Tim who stood ready with his hand outstretched. “Let's go, buttercup.”

Zoe took his hand and he pulled her up and into a big bear hug. “Oof!” She squeaked. “Let me go.”

“Nope, accept the hug. Love the hug. Let the hug be your friend.” He muttered.

“I can't breathe.” she gasped.

“Lies, you're talking.” he gripped her tighter.

“I'll grab your balls and squeeze, Tim. Let me go,” she growled.

He released her quickly. “Yeah, not into my balls being squeezed, thanks.”

Calvin took her hand then. “Come on let's get you in there resting.”

“Okay.”

Grams threw the door open. “Where y'all been? Get her in here and get her laying down.”

Zoe sighed. “We're coming, Grams.”

“Good thing, too! I'd hate to come out on a commando mission to find your lily white ass!” She waggled her finger and her brow creased in confusion as Calvin, Tim, and Layla burst into laughter. “What's so funny?”

“Grams, I don't think you know what commando means.” Calvin chuckled.

“Sure I do! It means going undercover!” She argued, her hand on her beefy hip.

“No, Grams... That's incognito. Commando means going without underwear,” he laughed.

“You sure?”

Tim held his stomach and tears poured from his eyes as he laughed. “Yes, Grams. Wrong word, totally. I don't want to think about you running around here with no drawers after us!”

“Look boy, these buns of steel you couldn't handle, so keep me and my buns out of your dirty little mind.” She waggled her finger again.

“Yes ma'am! Ten four that. No bun thoughts ever again!”

Layla snickered. “Oh, Grams.”

Zoe smirked and shifted in past her. “I should have told you.”

Grams swatted at her bottom with a gentle hand. “Yes, you should have. Here I been using the word all the time. No wonder I've been getting funny looks! Preacher Harlon must've thought I was coming on to him or some harlot when I said I'd go commando and check on the new Sunday school teacher.”

Everyone burst into laughter again and even Zoe chuckled. “Sorry, Grams.”

“Well, you get yourself into bed, girl. No more cookies for you!” Grams frowned as she shooed her into the back of the house.

Zoe placed one hand on the wall as she moved down the hallway and into the bedroom. Fatigue and depression hit her as the door closed and it blocked out the jovial sounds of those in the front of the house.
Ah, hell.

Her fingers shook as she pulled back the covers on the bed. With a soft sigh, she sat down and kicked off her shoes. Moving quickly, she shifted and lay back on the pillows. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and turned onto her side, pulling the blankets back over her form.
It's really over.
A sob shook her shoulders and she swallowed the wail threatening to bubble from between her lips.
No. He wouldn't want this.

The sound of the door opening caught her ears and she forced the sobs down.

“You don't have to hide from me, Zoe.” Calvin whispered as he crawled into bed and pulled her into his arms.

She relaxed against the warmth of his chest. “Calvin.”

“Talk to me.”

“I don't know what to say,” she whispered. “He's gone and seeing the casket and knowing he was in there just sealed it.”

His hand rubbed her back slowly. “I know, baby. But he's with your momma now. He's at peace.”

She nodded, snuggling into his chest. “I know, but it still hurts.”

“Of course it does. Anyone who says it doesn't hurt is a liar.”

“I love you,” she whispered brokenly, clenching his shirt in her fist as the tears came.

“I love you too, Zoe. Very much. And our baby too,” he assured her.

“I hated the whispers when people left, Calvin, about what if it's not yours,” she sniffled.

“You heard those?”

“I would have to be deaf not to.”

“Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry you had to hear it.”

She sighed. “It's my own fault. All of this is my fault.”

“No, it's not. It's just the way things are. If it's his baby, I don't care. Any man can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a daddy to a child.” He kissed the top of her head.

Damn it, I love you, Calvin.

“I know,” she whispered softly.

“Well, no more tears. I have something for you. Your Christmas present and I want you to open it now.”

“I don't really feel like it, Calvin. Thank you though.”

Calvin shifted off the bed. “I’m not taking no for an answer this time. I want you to open it.”

Zoe heard him rummaging through the closet and she sighed.
I don't want to do presents! What part of this don't you understand!
She wanted to yell, but instead she lay silent.

He came back to the bed and handed her a plain brown box. “Here. There is a small box inside that I want you to open first.”

She pushed herself to reclining on the pillows. “Okay.”

Her fingers caught the edge of the tape and pulled it loose, the inside of the box suddenly feeling very mysterious. A small, square box wrapped in red and green paper sat on top of a large manila envelope. She picked up the box and glanced up at him. He smiled in reassurance.

“Open it.”

She picked at the tape and pulled the edge of the wrapping paper. A small blue box was revealed and with shaky fingers she opened the lid. Nestled inside on a bed of black velveteen was a silver necklace with an ornate key attached. “It's pretty, Calvin.”

“That's not everything. Open the envelope.”

Her brow furrowed and she pulled the envelope out of the box. She slid the flap open and pulled a stack of papers out. “What's this?” Her forehead wrinkled up in worry lines as she read.

“Merry Christmas. You own your parents’ house,” he grinned.

Her mouth fell open. “What?”

“I bought the house. Well, of course it's a mortgage and what not, but I bought it from the bank,” he smiled. “Do you like it?”

She pulled the papers into her chest and hugged them. “It's the best Christmas present I could have ever gotten, Calvin. I love that house.” A tear coursed down her cheek. “Thank you.”

“You're welcome, Zoe. I want you to be happy. I have some funds set away for you to fix the place and update it... There's room for a nursery and I figured it would give you something to do, maybe with Grams and Layla, to get it fixed up,” he grinned again. “Don't cry, baby. Let me put your necklace on you.”

Zoe shifted so he could slide the delicate chain around her neck. “When I was out during my surgery, I dreamed our daughter was in my back yard, Calvin, and you made my dream come true.” She dropped the papers and held her arms out. “This was the best present, Calvin, thank you.”

He smiled and pulled her into his embrace. “You're welcome, sweetheart. I just want you to be happy.”

“I am, Calvin. Thank you for making me open it.” She lay back against the pillows again. “There is something for you in the nightstand... and are you sure you want to live here?”

He grinned and opened the nightstand, unearthing a small box. “For me?”

“For you,” she nodded.

He opened the box and withdrew a silver watch. “A watch?” He asked.

“Read the back.” she smiled, her heart in her throat.
What if he doesn't like it?

He flipped over the watch and smiled as he read, 'Until the end of time.' He unclasped the watch and fitted it around his wrist. “It's perfect, Zoe, thank you. And to answer your question, yes, I am ready to live here. I've been away from here for too long.”

He leaned forward and kissed her gently. “I'm glad you like it,” she whispered, her eyes growing heavy as she thought about the little house and exactly how she'd paint it.

She woke to a dark room and Calvin's arm tight around her waist. He slept behind her, the slow cadence of his breath evidence of his slumber.

Oh Calvin,
she thought.
How lucky am I to have you? How many men would do this for anyone? Be so damn understanding and make me face myself when I don't want to face anything, much less myself. Buy my parents’ house so we can raise a family there? How many? Very, very few. I love you, Calvin, I have from the first time my teenage heart could feel love for someone, and even more with each day.

She shifted from under his arm and carefully padded across the hall to use the bathroom. When she was done, she meandered into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. There wasn’t anything on the shelves which appealed to her at all and she closed it with a sigh.
I should be laying down.
She began walking back to the bedroom and paused, staring at the gaping darkness.
I can't.
She shifted and sat down in Pops' recliner. As she put her legs up, she stared at the ceiling.