Fender Bender Blues (27 page)

Both men perked up at this.

“Who?” Craig asked.

“What?” Rick asked.

Leah grinned a wicked, uncharacteristic grin. “Nope. We’re going to find out where she lives.”

Rach was floundered by her answer. “I don’t get it. I don’t have the patience for stalking. Seems a little pointless.”

Leah laughed, her eyes on the vehicle in front of them as they drove down a dark side street lit only by a street lamp at the end of each block. “You will.”

“What’s going on?” Rick demanded. He made another right turn, following too closely to be covert.

“Do you want whoever it is to know you’re following? Put some space between you, man,” Craig ordered and Rick let off the accelerator.

“Just an old friend who needs to be taught a lesson.” Leah’s vague answer didn’t comfort anyone in the car. Rach wasn’t sure who the woman was beside her, but she was definitely more fun than the goody-two-shoes version of Leah.

The truck pulled into the driveway of a tiny light-gray ranch-style home. Jackie and another person got out of the truck and Rach pulled Leah down low in the seat so they wouldn’t be seen. It was dark enough that it wasn’t necessary but she supposed caution was best.

Rach studied the couple walking up the steps of the house and when Rick’s car passed, she caught a glimpse of the man’s face under the porch light. “Holy shit, Leah. It’s Pat!”

Leah sat up, forgetting their undercover status, and gasped. “No way.”

Rick sped up and turned the corner. “Who the hell is Pat?”

Rach reached up and patted him on the shoulder. “Relax. He’s just an old flame of Leah’s. Wow, I didn’t think he’d go back to her after she screwed half the football team behind his back.”

Leah pouted. “I was sure I’d gotten him over that walking STD.”

Rach laughed. “Apparently he likes the bigger, meaner version of Jackie.”

“Did you love him?” Rick asked ridiculously and Craig swore beside him. He elbowed Rick, who was busy staring at Leah through the rearview mirror.

“Very manly of you.” Craig shook his head.

Rach bristled. “Why, because he cares?”

Craig shook his head. “No, because he sounds like a wuss.”

“Not everyone has to be as tough as you, you jerk.” Rach glared at the back of his head.

“I’m not a jerk,” Craig denied.

“You can be,” Rick added.

“Of course you are, it’s your mantra,” Rach taunted. She turned to Leah before he could reply, and asked her, “So now what?”

“Rick is going to drive us to Spetzer-Mart and we’re going shopping,” Leah answered simply.

“I don’t like the sound of that,” Rick said, but he listened to his “love-bug” and turned in the direction of the superstore.

“It’s harmless, it really is.” Leah patted Rick on the shoulder. She leaned closer to Rach and whispered, “At least until she wakes up tomorrow and sees her lawn toilet-papered and her vehicle and house egged!”

Rach’s mouth dropped. “You’re kidding, right?”

Leah shook her head firmly. The angry glint had returned to her eyes again. “No way. We put up with that bully in high school. She got all the other jerks to call you fire-crotch, and me a slut, and now she’s trying to push you around and
you’re an adult
. That’s bullshit. This bitch is going down.”

Rach winced. Somehow “fire-crotch” sounded worse than it had ten years ago. She thought of her dad’s graduation footage, where someone in the crowd had called out “fire-crotch” loud enough for the entire auditorium to hear. The name-calling had turned Rach as red as the graduation gown she’d been wearing.

Rach set her shoulders to a determined square. “You’re right, the bitch is going down.”

Chapter Thirty-Two

“This is crazy,” Craig muttered. For the second time in a month he walked the aisles of Spetzer-Mart on a midnight mission to purchase yard war supplies. Leah loaded the grocery cart with two dozen eggs then swung the cart around in the direction of toilet paper. Craig stepped out of her way. “You women are really serious about this.”

Rach gave him a mischievous grin then grasped his hand in hers. “Don’t get your panties in a bunch. This is war.”

“How many of these yard wars do you plan on being involved in, Red?”

“Jackie started it,” Rach stated. She stopped beside Leah in front of the toilet paper display at the end of the aisle. “And my war with Mrs. Petska is over so I have some free time.” She plucked a generic brand of single-ply paper off the shelf and handed it to Leah. “This is on sale for two bucks. I don’t think we need the fancy stuff for what we’re doing.”

“You’re right,” Leah agreed and threw another package into the cart.

He almost told them it was overkill, that they’d never have time to dispense eight rolls of paper on their victim’s property without getting caught. But he kept his mouth shut. No amount of adult reasoning would change their mind about the juvenile crime they were about to commit—he recognized the stubborn set of Rach’s jaw.

Earlier that week, Kathy had told him he needed to live a little. He doubted this was what she’d had in mind, though he imagined she’d get a kick out of it. Despite the sick feeling he might end up in the slammer by the end of the night, he smiled. If it wasn’t so late he might have called his secretary to let her in on their crime spree. He pulled Rach into the backseat with him and kissed the side of her neck.

“You realize we could get arrested for this if we get caught, right?” He nibbled at her ear lobe and she snuggled in closer to his side.

“Yes, that’s why we can’t get caught,” she answered matter-of-factly. She tapped Leah on the shoulder from behind. “I think we should park a few houses down.”

Leah shook her head. “We should park around the corner. She only lives a house away from the end of the block and we could hide the car on the other side of that house.” She pointed to a white gingerbread framed house beside the target. “We can get the toilet paper up in the trees and on the bushes, egg the pickup and the front of the house, then hightail it back around the corner. I think it’d be much safer that way.”

He glanced at Rach who sat with one arm crossed over her chest, her other elbow rested on her arm while her finger tapped the skin between her lip and nose, pondering the suggestion.

“You have no idea how cute you are right now,” he whispered, replacing her finger with his lips. Her tongue touched his for a split second before she pushed him away.

“You’re right,” Rach told Leah. “Do you think we should have changed into black clothes?”

Craig snorted at the image of the two women dressed in black, dark shoe polish under the eyes, hair tucked under low, black ball caps.

“What’s so funny?” Rach demanded.

He sat back and pulled her in against his side. “It’s just funny, you two out there doing this at your age.” She turned slightly to smack him in the chest and he grunted. “I was just saying.”

“Well don’t.” She crossed her arms over her chest with a glare “She called me
fire-crotch
in school. She had all her little dim witted friends doing it, too. How would you have liked to receive your diploma with some jerk in the audience calling out ‘fire-crotch’ in front of an auditorium full of kids and old people and parents? It was mortifying.
And
she’s the reason I have no job right now. “

“In that case, I’ll help,” he conceded and grinned when Rach squealed and planted a kiss on his cheek.

Rick parked around the corner from the house and shut the car off. When he opened his door, Leah stopped him with a shake of her head and said, “You’re not coming.”

“What?” He sounded much too upset at being told to sit in the car. Craig rolled his eyes and wondered how Leah had managed to transform his brother into a delinquent in only a few months.

“If we need a quick getaway, we need you to be ready,” Leah reasoned. It sounded like a good plan to Craig, but Rick didn’t appear too pleased. “We can take care of this. You just keep an eye out. If you see anything suspicious—’’

“What,” Rick interrupted. “Honk my horn and wake up the neighborhood?”

“I think you’re getting the better end of the deal, man,” Craig chimed in. Leah and Rick glared back at him and he held up his hands. “Just saying. I’m pretty sure what we’re about to do could put us in jail or we’ll end up on tomorrow’s news. Neither is a good option.”

Ignoring him, Rick said, “There’s no point in me sitting here waiting. I’m coming with you.”

Leah and Rick stared each other down before she finally nodded. “Okay, but you better be able to get us out of here fast or I’ll kick your ass myself.”

Rick chuckled, dropped a kiss on her little nose. “Yes, Sweetie.”

Rach beamed with anticipation. She wasn’t nervous at all. Craig told himself to relax and go with the flow. Maybe vandalism would come to him as easy as making money did.

“Here, carry this one.” Rach handed him a plastic grocery bag full of toilet paper.

He followed the women across the lawn of the corner house and around the trucks parked in front of the gray house they planned to trash. Setting the bag down on the lawn, he looked up and down the dark street. Every other professional was home sleeping, as he should be. He wiped his clammy palms on the legs of his pants. He whispered to Rach, “Why is it you and I can’t have a normal night out?”

Rach grinned and handed him a roll of toilet paper from the bag. “You love it.”

“All right,” Leah whispered. “Let’s do this thing. Rick and Craig, you start with toilet-papering that tree. It’s easy. Just throw it up and it’ll come back down, then keep on throwing it.”

“Please.” Rick smiled. “I’ve seen it done on TV.”

“Right,” she replied, all business. “Rach and I will get the other tree. Make it quick. We can’t spend more than a couple minutes doing the trees if we want to get the eggs in, too.”

Rach rushed to the tree she’d been assigned to, her toilet paper roll airborne.
She’s something else.
Craig grinned and got to work. He kept glancing over at her in the dark, as she raced to get rid of the toilet paper in her hands. He liked the way her calves tightened and stretched as she bent to retrieve the fallen roll or jumped to send the roll flying into the tree.

“Who’s ready for eggs?” Rach held up a carton.

“We’ve already been out here too long.” Breathless, Leah grabbed up the second carton and offered it to Rick. “Here, take some. You guys get the truck and Rach and I will get the house.”

The eggs landed with a splat, the goop sliding down the door of the truck, dribbling onto the cement driveway. He told himself not to feel guilty. This Jackie had called his woman a fire-crotch.

His woman—he wasn’t sure when it had happened, but he meant it. When he ran out of ammo, he turned to find Rach and Leah racing toward them, waving hysterically. The house lights had come on.

“Oh shit.” He made a grab for the back of Rick’s shirt, pulling him toward their escape route.

“What the—’’ Rick started.

“The lights came on!” Craig hissed.

They ran like the devil was on their heels and when they rounded the corner, a woman screamed, “
What the fuck
!”

Rick dove in and started the car and was already rolling away from the curb just as Craig fell into the passenger seat. The women collapsed into the backseat, laughing and hugging each other. He was out of breath and his heart raced inside his chest, but he was grinning like a kid.

One thing was for certain, there was never a dull moment with Rachel Bennett.

Chapter Thirty-Three

Rach awoke, sated and happy. Craig was gone. He’d stolen away in the early morning, leaving behind a cold space in the bed beside her. She asked him to stay home for the day, but he’d insisted he needed to go to work. Rolling over, she stretched and pulled the comforter to her chin. Memories from the night before made her blush and she smiled stupidly up at the ceiling. This morning, she wasn’t going to over-analyze the situation.

Downstairs she started a pot of coffee and as soon as the dark brew began to fill the pot, she inhaled deeply. She’d grown accustomed to regular coffee in lieu of the lattes she loved so much. She almost didn’t even miss them. Almost.

Her cell phone rang and Dexler’s flashed across the display. Her hand hovered over the phone in hesitation. Her gut instinct told her not to answer, so she let it ring and ring and ring. Finally, it beeped to announce the new message. After a few moments of staring at the blinking display, she flipped open the phone to listen to the voicemail.

Jackie’s irate voice spewed into the phone. “
You little bitch!
I know it was you and that slut friend of yours who egged my house. So help me, if I see you, I’ll kick your ass! You better watch your backs!”

Rach winced, and as an afterthought clicked to save the message. In case Jackie made good on her word, the message was great proof of premeditation. In between all her recent jobs Rach had seen enough Court TV and CSI to know the process.

When her cell rang again, she jumped.

“Shit,” she muttered and picked up the phone. “It’s about time,” she told the empty room. After no contact for the last two weeks, the staffing agency was finally calling her. Crossing her fingers for good news, she answered. “Hello?”