Fiancé at Her Fingertips (29 page)

“
Well done, ‘Angel.’ Very well done, indeed
.”

“
Thank you, Father. For a while there I was sweating it big
time, doing some serious nail
-
chewing, beating my head against
the gold pavement—
”

“
Yes, I know. But, all in all, we have reached a satisfactory conclusion.
Debra has learned that life is to be lived and that love can
come in unusual and unexpected packages. Logan has learned to
trust his feelings regardless of what his intellect might tell him
.

“
When he got down on his knee, I thought I’d weep for joy. Let
me tell you, there were moments I had my doubts it would work
out
.”

“
You musn’t entertain doubts, Conrad. Remember Thomas
.”

“
Yes, Sir
.”

“
I was impressed with your…creativity, Conrad. You stretched
the bounds of your abilities to a new level
.”

“
It was hard to keep a step ahead on this one, Sir. There’s no predicting
what humans will do when given such mega
-
doses of free
will. Say, you wouldn’t by any chance consider cutting back on that
a bit, would you, Father?
”

“
Now, Conrad—
”

“
And that Lawyer Logan, he kept me hopping, too, the sly
one—trying to put the cart before the horse, sample the milk without
buying the cow, performing the ‘I dids’ before the ‘I dos.’ I tell
you, it was almost as stressful as the Pearly Gate assignment, Father
.”

“
Yet somehow you found time for fun. Your DJ stint at the wedding,
for example
.”

“
I thought, perhaps, a carefully chosen song or two might
move the situation along. Turns out I should’ve played ‘Freak
Out’, because that’s what my mortal ended up doing. Besides tying
several on
.”

“
And Burger Bob?
”

“
I was going for a cute, cuddly, Winnie
-
the-Pooh body type
.”

“
And your walk-
on as a doorman?
”

“
I’ve always wanted to wear a uniform and yell, ‘Spread ’em!
’”

“
And the pepper spray?
”

“
I got a little carried away, didn’t I? Not to worry. Sir. I left
Debra with a token or two of my affection. Oh, and speaking of
tokens of affection, Debra’s
Girlfriend at a Glance
certainly was
a big hit with Lawyer Logan
.”

“
Divine inspiration on Debra’s part, indeed, Conrad. Speaking
of inspiration, I’m curious. How did you come up with the idea of
having everyone’s memories of Lawyer Logan wiped clean when
Debra ripped up his photograph?
”

“
I thought I would give her a dose of her own medicine, turn the
tables on her a bit, let her walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, show
her what her life would be like if Lawyer Logan didn’t exist
.”

“
Ah. I see. The ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ approach
.”

“
You mean it’s been done before?
”

“
In some respects it’s a shame, really
.”

“
A shame? What’s a shame?
”

“
Do you realize, Conrad, that they don’t even have a song?
”

“
There’s always ‘Jail house Rock,’ Sir
.”

“
She has no love letters to sigh over years from now
.”

“
There’s the restraining order
.”

“
No special first date
.”

“
She’ll always have the bunny hop
.”

“
They must have a courtship to remember, Conrad—the courtship
Debra planned and executed so meticulously. Minus Chicago, of
course. That wasn’t a Kodak keepsake moment. They must recall
the important things. Make it so
.”

“
I’ll do my best, Sir
.”

“
I have confidence in you, my son. And, inasmuch as you’ve done
so well with this rather daunting challenge, I know you’re just the
fellow for another assignment I have in mind
.”

“
Oh, Father, don’t say you’ve assigned me to the real Martha
Stewart As picky as she is about meals and food and decorations
and etiquette and manners—
”

“
Calm yourself, Conrad. As a matter of fact you’re already well
acquainted with the couple I have in mind. And you won’t have far
to travel. Not far at all
.”

“
Father, you can’t mean— No!
Give me Martha!
I’ll take
Martha! Please! Anyone! Anyone but Suzi and CEO Clay!
”

“
Ah, you may not believe it now, Conrad, but that’s a match
made in Heaven, too
.”

“
Heaven help me, Lord
.”

“
Naturally, my son. Naturally
.”

“Mom? Are you and Dad doing anything tonight? Why? Oh, I thought I might bring Lawyer Logan over for supper this evening.”

Debra held the phone away from her ear but could still hear her mother’s frenzied screams as if she’d hit the speakerphone button.

“You mean we’re finally going to meet this mystery man of yours, Debra! After all your feet-dragging? After all your excuses? I’ve got to tell you, for a while there I was wondering if he existed at all. Oh, my Lord! I’ve got to get off the phone and plan dinner! Oh, dear! I need to call your father and tell him to pick up a nice bottle of wine. Oh, why didn’t you give me more notice, Debra!”

“Uh, I could always call and cancel, Mother,” she said, and her mother’s second shriek almost pierced her ear drum.

“You’ll do nothing of the sort, young lady,” her mother said. “I’ll make do. No one goes away from my table hungry. By the way, does your lawyer have any special favorites?” Debra’s Mom asked.

“Porcupine meatballs and date cookies?” suddenly came out of Debra’s mouth, and she frowned. What in the world?

“Okay, then,” her mother said. “See you at seven, dear. Ohh, you’ve made me
soo
happy!’ Bye!”

Debra stared at the phone and shook her head. She wandered over to her closet and began to sort through one hanging item after another in frustration. What did one wear to inform a matchmaking mama that her only daughter was off the marriage market? Nothing she owned seemed to go with the huge rock on the third finger of her left hand—a finger she had spent an inordinate amount of time staring at since Logan had slipped it on the previous day.

“What to wear? What to wear? What to wear?” she recited as she rejected one item after another. She sighed and opened the other side of her closet and peered in. A box on the closet floor caught her eye. She bent down to read the top of the box.

“ThighMaster?” She stared at the box in confusion. Where the devil had this come from? She sighed again and straightened. Suzi and her adolescent jokes, no doubt.

She continued to make her way through her closet, stopping suddenly when she came to a short, black item. She pulled it out and stared at the garment. It looked like a hideous cross between an elasticized body suit and a football player’s flak jacket.

“What in the blazes?”

She noticed a tag hanging from one armpit and reached out to snag it.

“‘Be all that you can be,’” Debra read. “Big Bertha’s Butt and Bust Enhancer.
Big Bertha’s Butt and Bust Enhancer?
What the—?”

“
And now, Johnny, tell Debra all about the wonderful parting
gifts she will receive for being a contestant on Fiancé at Her Fingertips!
”

“
Conrad
.”

“
Sorry, Father. Would you believe the devil made me do it?
”

CRITICS ARE CHARMED BY
KATHLEEN BACUS!

CALAMITY JAYNE HEADS WEST

“This newest installment in Bacus’s series is fun and lighthearted with an interesting mystery, a light touch of romance and some fascinating characters.”

—
RT BOOKreviews

“
Calamity Jayne Heads West
is highly entertaining! The action and intrigue [are] wrapped around humor with clues and simmering sexual tension thrown in the midst of it all. Here’s hoping this is nowhere near the end of the Tressa Jayne series!”

—Once Upon a Romance

“Tressa Jayne’s adventures are funnier than Stephanie Plum, smarter than Bubbles Yablonsky and jam packed with hip references to keep the reader wanting more.”

—Fresh Fiction

CALAMITY JAYNE GOES TO COLLEGE

“Calamity Jayne rides again in the lighthearted, fun story that also encompasses an interesting and well-plotted mystery. It’s nice to have a heroine who knows her limits and isn’t so secretive, but shares her thoughts and ideas with those around her.”

—
RT BOOKreviews

“Tressa is hilarious, both in her thoughts and actions. Her antics may be over-the-top, but they keep her both humble and loveable.…Lively, quick-paced, full of memorable characters, and laugh-out-loud funny, this is a great pick for both mystery and romance fans.”

—Romance Junkies

MORE PRAISE FOR KATHLEEN BACUS!

GHOULS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN

“An enjoyable, easygoing mystery.…A slight touch of the paranormal gives this title a nice twist.”

—
RT BOOKreviews

“
Ghouls Just Want to Have Fun
is a hilariously funny story with a hint of suspense and my favorite heroine, Tressa “Calamity” Jayne Turner doing what she does best.…Get ready for a roaring good time when you open up
Ghouls Just Want to
Have Fun
.”

—Romance Reviews Today

CALAMITY JAYNE RIDES AGAIN

“Bacus provides lots of small-town fun with this lovable, fair-haired klutz and lively story, liberally salted with dumb-blond jokes.…It’s even better paired with the hilarious first book of the series,
Calamity Jayne
.”

—
Booklist
, Starred Review

“With potential wacky disasters lurking around every corner, Bacus takes readers on a madcap journey through Tressa’s world of zany characters and intrigue.…A cute comedy infused with a light mystery in a fun, small-town setting, this novel is enjoyable.”

—
RT BOOKreviews

CALAMITY JAYNE

“Bacus’s riotous romantic suspense debut offers plenty of small-town charm and oddball characters.…Filled with dumb-blonde jokes, nonstop action and rapid-fire banter, this is a perfect read for chick-lit fans who enjoy a dash of mystery.”

—
Publishers Weekly

“Frothy and fun…”

—
RT BOOKreviews

“Making her entrance into the world of romance with a story full of mishaps, danger, and well-crafted characters, Kathleen Bacus does a superb job with
Calamity Jayne
. This reviewer can’t wait for more.…”

—Romance Reviews Today

Other
Love Spell
books by Kathleen Bacus:

CALAMITY JAYNE HEADS WEST
CALAMITY JAYNE GOES TO COLLEGE
GHOULS JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN
CALAMITY JAYNE RIDES AGAIN
CALAMITY JAYNE