Filthy Dirty Secrets: Filthy Dirty Alpha Book 2 (4 page)

“It’s not what you think,” Carter says. He makes a grab for me, and I dart back, letting him go. He staggers and catches himself on a stool. His face is pale, but his eyes are determined.

Carter knows what happened to Hope, and he knows I know. What will he do to keep me quiet? Would he get rid of me too? No, there’s no way Carter would hurt me. I don’t believe it. But that’s the rational side of my brain.  The tequila-soaked side says that people are crazy, and anything could have happened.

He wraps a strong arm around my waist, and his move startles me. I open my mouth to scream, but Carter slaps his hand over it. “Shh … shh … not here.” I struggle against his hold, but even drunk, he’s still so much stronger than me.

“Everything okay, Carter?” the bartender asks, watching us carefully.

“Peachy,” Carter says. “Lola and I are headed to the Jasmine Room since she’s feeling so spunky.”

Carter hauls my body across the lounge floor. I don’t like being manhandled—not by anyone but Burke, anyway—and my first instinct is to sink my teeth into the hand covering my mouth. But he’s either too drunk to notice or has excellent self-control. We stop at the elevator, and I manage to land a kick. He drops his hand from my mouth.

“You can’t just drag me off somewhere without asking!”

“Would you stop squirming?” Carter hisses in my ear. “I’m not going to hurt you. I just need to talk to you. In private.”

The tequila is hitting me hard, and my thoughts are jumbled with confused adrenaline. I have no idea if Carter’s telling the truth or not. I mean, it’s Carter. How could Carter do anything bad?

But I haven’t even known him for a month yet. People have secrets. I thought I knew Burke, and it turned out he was keeping an entire secret past relationship from me. I don’t know what to believe. Why can’t pivotal moments happen when I’m sober and capable of thinking clearly?

Carter leads me into the elevator and hits the call button for his apartment. There are few places in Second Circle that don’t have cameras, but Carter’s and Burke’s apartments are two of them. He’d told the bartender we were going to the Jasmine room … another lie.

He could make me disappear just like he did Hope, but … he’d never get away with it. There were cameras and witnesses that saw our struggle in the lounge, and there will definitely be a record of him taking me up to his apartment. Hardly a sneaky way to get rid of someone.

By the time we step into Carter’s apartment, I’ve calmed my breathing, and he’s let go of me. I stand cautiously a few feet away from him with my arms crossed as he weaves a drunken line across the floor of his living room. He paces just like Burke does. It would be endearing if I could stop running through all of the possibilities about what he could have done to Hope.

“We’re alone, now talk. What happened to Hope? What did you do?” My voice is stern, and calm, thankfully. I’m trying hard to convey a sense of power.

Carter presses his knuckles against his forehead. “It’s complicated. Fuck, I wish I wasn’t so drunk right now.”

“Just tell me, Carter. Now.” I put on a bravado I don’t feel. I don’t even know if I’m in reporter mode, or just pissed off and angry. For the first time, I’m close to finding out what happened to Hope. My need to know thrums through my body so violently I feel like I’m vibrating with it.

“Hope didn’t disappear. She escaped.”

I shake my head as if that might arrange the words into an order that makes sense. “I don’t understand. Hope disappeared. The last time she was seen was leaving Second Circle. I saw the video.”

He shoves his hands into his hair and tugs in into messy spikes. “I know you saw the video. It was a set up. I helped her. Look, it’s complicated…”

“How and why, and…” I blow out a frustrated breath.
Damn you, tequila.

“She escaped,” he says again, like that miraculously clears everything up.

“To where?”

His face lights up like he’s just thought of the best idea ever. “I can do better than tell you. I can
show
you. Tomorrow. After I sleep off this fucking alcohol. Goddamn Patron.”

I stay rooted in place. It still doesn’t make any sense. What could he possibly show me that will explain what happened to Hope? Is this all just an elaborate ruse to lure me away and make sure I disappear too?

“Why should I trust you?”

He throws his hands up. “Because I’m asking you to, okay? Because I’ve been playing nanny for your and Burke’s shit—”

“You’ve been what?”

Carter smacks his palm against his face. “Fuuuuck.” He stumbles a few steps toward his couch and drops onto the cushion.

“Has Burke talked to you about me?” I feel like an idiot. I shouldn’t care about my relationship with Burke when a woman’s life is on the line. But, I still do. Of course I do.

“Forget I said anything,” Carter says. “Can we just pretend I never mentioned it?”

“No, we can’t pretend. What did Burke say about me?” I’m barely able to remember to keep my distance from Carter, I want to shake the words out of him so badly. Maybe having him drunk is a really good thing. I sense he can’t keep a secret to save his life right now.

“He said he wants you to stay. Except he doesn’t. Fuck. I need sleep.”

I sway on my feet. Burke wants me to stay. Sort of. Maybe. When I look back at Carter, he’s passed out on the couch. I won’t be wringing any more answers from him tonight. But he said he would show me the truth about Hope tomorrow. And I will damn well hold him too it, no matter how risky.

Chapter Six

Burke

Lola reeks of tequila when she walks into my apartment. I look up from my laptop where I’ve just been going over the PI report for the twentieth futile time and see her catch herself against the doorframe.

“When did the floors in here get so uneven?” she asks.

I have no idea what brought this on, but my best guess is her frustration about not being able to find Hope. Either way, I doubt I’ll get a straight answer while she’s drunk. I can hold off on the interrogation until she’s sober. And deliver a seemingly well-deserved lesson…

“I think it’s time to put you to bed, little girl.” I slide my laptop onto the coffee table and cross the room in time to catch Lola as she trips. She grips my arms with uncoordinated hands, and I pull her warm body against me. Her head hits my chest and she hums a small noise of contentment.

“I drank tequila.”

“I figured that one out myself.” I slide an arm under her knees, lift her up, and carry her to the bedroom. She giggles as her feet leave the floor.

“I talked to Carter.”

My heart misses a beat. He wouldn’t tell her what I said. If there’s one thing I can trust Carter to do, it’s keep a secret. “About how much tequila you drank?” I ask lightly.

“About Hope. And you,” she says, missing my question about the tequila.

“What does Carter know about Hope?” I don’t remember Carter ever spending much time with her. It’s not that I told him she was off limits, but he never seemed interested in her. Maybe if I distract Lola from the second part of the statement, she’ll forget by the time she wakes up with a hangover tomorrow.

“He said it’s his fault—what happened to Hope. He said he’d show me tomorrow.”

I freeze a step away from the bedroom. Carter had something to do with Hope’s disappearance? That can’t be right. She must have misunderstood. I’ve known Carter for years. I won’t pretend he doesn’t have his dark moods, but there’s nothing evil in him.

Or do I not know him as well as I think I do?

“And he said—” Lola presses her hand awkwardly against my face, squishing my nose and lips. “He said that you want me to stay.”

He told her. The son-of-a-bitch told her. He had no fucking right.

“You’re drunk, sweetheart,” I say carefully. There’s a chance she won’t remember any of this tomorrow, but I have to admit, she doesn’t look
that
far gone. Her eyes are still clear and focused on my face.

“I know what he said,” she says defensively.

I carry her into the bedroom and set her down on the bed. She sprawls across it and lets out a sigh.

I grapple for a solution. I’ve never been as much at a loss as I am right now. My best friend might be hiding something huge from me, and the woman of my dreams just found out she’s the woman of my dreams, and both of them are so drunk I won’t be able to get a word of sense out of them anyway.
Fucking hell.

I back away from the bed and rake a hand through my hair. “Lola?”

“Mmm?” Her eyelids have already drifted shut. Her hair is tangled around her head and she squeezes a pillow to her chest.

A smile tugs up the corner of my mouth. How is it that I can feel so much for this woman I haven’t even known for a month yet? “Do you want me to want you to stay?”

I don’t know if she hears me and can’t sort out the confusing question or doesn’t hear me at all, but the only reply I’m greeted with is a quiet snore. I grab a blanket off the foot of the bed and drape it over her.

If I’m having trouble processing what just happened, I can’t imagine how Lola must feel right now. She’s finally got a lead on what happened to Hope. She must be terrified. Anything could be waiting for her at the end of that rabbit hole.

And then there’s us. Our relationship has an expiration date, but it’s one either of us could reverse if we’re willing to make the first move. But if I keep Lola, I’m depriving her of everything she deserves to have.

What if she wants to stay? If it’s her decision and not one I’m making for her? I don’t know what the right answer is here. I leave her to sleep off the tequila and go back to the living room to spend the night going over and over what happens next.

Chapter Seven

Lola

My mouth tastes like cotton wool when I wake up. I cringe and grab the glass of water Burke helpfully left on the nightstand. The night before comes back slowly. Driving the Porsche out to that house. The dead end. The disappointment. Carter.
Carter.

When I left his apartment, I went straight to Burke. Everything gets a little fuzzy after that. Did I tell Burke anything I shouldn’t have? I blink the sleep from my eye and groggily start searching for my cell phone.

My head is pounding, but I manage to find it next to my shoes on the floor. I dial Carter and flinch every time it rings.

“Hullo?” he answers woodenly.
Hah, he’s more hung over than I am.

“Carter? Do you remember last night?”

He grunts. “Yeah. I remember.”

I flop back on the bed. At least I don’t need to explain to him what he’s supposed to be showing me today. Then again, if he’s responsible for something awful happening to Hope, it probably would have been better if he’d forgotten telling me about it.

“I’m a little hung over,” I say.

“So am I.”

I smile and push myself up to my elbows so I can drink more water until the pounding in my head tappers off. “You’re going to show me what happened to her.”

“Yeah. Be down in the lounge in twenty minutes. And not a word to Burke. He can’t come. It’s you alone, or nothing.”

“Says the possible ax murderer.” Shit, did I say that out loud?

Carter hangs up. I finish the rest of the water than climb out of bed.

“Lola? You awake?” Burke calls.

“Yeah, just about to climb into the shower.” I shimmy out of last night’s clothes and head for the bathroom.

Burke appears in doorway to the bedroom. “I need to talk to you.”

“In a little bit.” I dodge him and slip into the bathroom. I close the door then throw the lock. Normally I would enjoy a shower with Burke, but today I’m on a mission. I need to get to Carter and escape. Then solve the biggest mystery, save my job, and hopefully my relationship with Burke. Shit, first I’m going to need coffee.

I shower and put on a fresh set of clothes. The pounding in my head subsides and I’m feeling more human when I open the door and find Burke sitting on the bed with his arms crossed, waiting for me.

“I need to talk to you,” he says again.

“We’ll talk later. I’m meeting Carter for breakfast.” I could kick myself for the obvious lie. Carter doesn’t wake up in time for breakfast. I doubt he’s even aware that a meal exists before lunch.

“No, you’re not.”

I try to get past Burke again, but he grabs my arm. “We need to talk about last night.”

My head spins. I have no idea what I said to him last night. What happened after I got back to the apartment is still a fog. “Did I… say something to you last night?”

Burke’s eyes widen. “You don’t remember?”

I bite my lip. “I remember drinking.”

Burke drops my arm and levels the full power of his intense gaze on me. “What did you talk to Carter about last night?”

I swallow. Did I tell him I talked to Carter? How much does he know? I can’t let him know my suspicions about Hope. He’d never let me go, and then I won’t be able to find out the truth. “You. We talked about you.” It is the truth, partially. The subject of Burke came up. “He said you want me to stay. Maybe. Is it true?” I can’t even blink as I watch him. I really want him to say yes, and I really want to find out what happened to Hope. I feel like I’m being pulled in two opposite directions at once.

“I’ve been thinking a bit more about our deadline. But only because I was worried you wouldn’t find Hope in time. Do you have any new leads?”

His words punch me straight in the gut. Of course Burke couldn’t talk about me staying because he genuinely cared about me. This was only about the deal and the case.

“No,” I say frostily.

“Fine.” It doesn’t sound fine. Did I tell him something last night?

“I’m going to see Carter.” I take another step toward the door and Burke is in front of me again, blocking my way. I swear, if he doesn’t stop being enigmatic I’m going to punch him.

“No, you’re not.”

“I need to,” I insist. “I need to talk to him about curtain rods.” I could have said literally anything else, and it would have made more sense than that. What is wrong with me?

“No.” Burke grabs my waist with his big hands. I shiver as his heat hits me. “You’re going to stay right here. With me.”

My body is screaming
Yes!
but I need to see this through. There are more important things in the world than lust. Burke’s hand trails up and brushes the underside of my breast and I struggle to remember what those important things are. Breathing? Is breathing important?

Burke moves me back toward the bed one sensuously deliberate step at a time.

“I need to go,” I say, but there’s no conviction behind my words. My brain is spinning, rationalizing the delay.

My knees hit the comforter and I tumble back onto the bed. Burke kisses my skin all over, from the undersides of my elbows to the pulse at my wrist then up to the strip of flesh my shirt reveals above my chest.

I tangle my hands in his hair and breathe in the sweet ecstasy. Burke covers me with his body, and everything fades but desire. My jeans come off too easily and my legs part to let him in. He unbuttons and unzips his pants and shoves down his boxer briefs. There’s no foreplay now, no sweet kisses or rough teasing. He pushes my panties aside, and sinks inside me without ceremony. His gaze is intense as he pounds into me as if to remind me exactly who I belong to.
Him
. Every inch of me, every scream in my throat, every word I know how to say is his.

Burke thrusts into me over and over until I’m clinging to him helplessly, unable to do anything but moan his name. Stars explode behind my eyelids as my orgasm draws him deeper into my body. He fucks into me even harder as he lets loose his own orgasm and spills inside of me with a shout of pleasure.

When he’s done he pulls out of me, leaving me gaping open for his inspection. His gaze rooms over me and I’ve never felt like more vulnerable than I do in this moment. His cum is slick against my thighs, and I gasp for breath, hoping with every sweet pull of air that he’s not done with me yet. I want more. I need more of him, filling me up until I explode with it.

“Burke,” I beg, holding out my hand to him. Something in me needs to be close to him in this moment. To feel the heavy weight of his body, and his heart pounding in time with mine.

“I thought you needed to leave?” He raises an eyebrow.

I shake my head mutely. It’s been weeks already; I can wait another fifteen minutes before I find out something that’s going to shatter my world. I just want fifteen minutes of good before there’s nothing but bad.

“I want to suck you off.” The words excite me. I want to get his cock in my mouth so I can taste myself on him and know that he’s mine just like I’m his.

“Come here.”

I scramble off the bed and drop to my knees in front of him. His cock is huge, but I’m eager to have him filling my mouth. I grip him with both hands and slide my tongue up his length to lick my juices off of him.

Burke groans and buries his hands in my hair. “Sweet Jesus, Lola, you have no idea what you do to me.”

Except I know exactly what I’m doing to him—I’m making him forget everything like I’m making myself forget. I take him deep in my throat before cupping his balls in my hand. He swears as I increase my pace. I give his cock all the attention of my mouth. This time, he’s going to be the one to lose control. I’ll make sure of it. It’s the only thing I can do at the moment to chase away my fears.

I work his cock eagerly, spurred on by every noise he makes.

He murmurs my name, and I know I’ve got him. His seed hits the back of my throat, and I swallow it down as quickly as I can. I wring every drop of pleasure from of him, then fall back onto my ass and catch my breath.

“Was that bad?” I ask.

His silence gives me all the answer I need. I won. I shredded Burke’s control to pieces and made him mine.

I expect him to praise me for my oral skills, but instead, he narrows his eyes.

“Very bad,” Burke growls. I should’ve known he wouldn’t give up that easily. He buries his fingers in my hair and guides me upright. He sits down on the bed and pulls me across his knee. “I’m going to spank you now. And you’re going to think about what you’ve done, making me come down your throat like that when it should have been in your hot little cunt.”

Every thought other than my impending punishment leaves my brain. Before I came to Second Circle, I never would have thought I could enjoy this, but Burke has taught me to enjoy all kinds of things.

His palm cracks across my ass, leaving a heated sting in its wake. I arch into it, wanting more. By the fifth
smack
all I can think about is the sound of flesh against flesh and how wet I’m getting.

It feels so good to be punished for something I wanted to do. I pushed Burke across a line, and now he’s shifting the balance of power back in his favor.

He’s done after the sixth slap. He rubs my ass tenderly and kisses the back of my neck. “Are you okay?”

I choke on a laugh. I’m hot and panting all over again, but I suppose ‘okay’ will suffice.

“Yes, sir.”

Burke draws me into his arms, and we fall back drowsily on the bed.

Then my phone rings and everything I was trying to forget for a few minutes comes rushing back. Carter. Hope. The case. My throat tightens with panic. Why did I think I could waste time? Hope might not have time. 

And yet … I was able to push her aside and get caught up in Burke so easily. What kind of person does that make me? Make him? I’ve always known that Burke is dangerous, but I’ve never really understood it until this moment.

He’s dangerous because I can lose myself in him. Because the intensity of wanting him burns so brightly it can make me forget everything that matters.

There are people who need me. Hope needs me. I’ve already wasted too much time.

I push away from Burke slowly. “I have to go.”

He looks at me with half lidded eyes. “I thought you changed your mind.”

I shake my head. I don’t trust myself to speak anymore. I pick up my clothes and pull them on in a hurry.

“Stay,” Burke orders.

“No.” I grab my phone and purse then shove my shoes onto my feet.

“Lola—”

“I have to go,” I say, the words coming out with more force than any I’d ever spoken to Burke. I take a step back, shocked at my own vehemence. I’m always the collected one, and now Burke has rattled me. I wonder if I’ll ever be able to be the person I used to be again, or if the change he has wrought on me is permanent.

I reach the door before he can ask me any more questions—and before he can even pull his pants on.

He calls after me to wait, but I slam the door behind me. My entire body is shaking when I hit the elevator. What did I just do? What am I walking into?

Carter is waiting for me when I reach the lounge. “What took you so long? I’ve been trying to call you.”

“We have to go now.” I don’t stop moving and Carter jumps up and falls in behind me.

“Something happen with Burke?”

I can’t begin to explain what’s going on with Burke, so I just shake my head. “You’re showing me what happened to Hope. That’s all I care about right now.”

We get out of the club and into Carter’s car. He still has dark circles under his eyes from last night, but other than that he looks fine. I wonder what hangover concoction he found and if he’d be willing to give me the recipe for next time.

I huddle in my seat as we drive out of town, shivering despite the heat. I’m still afraid of where Carter is going to take me, but I’m too overwhelmed by other emotions to really feel it. I finally tore down Burke’s control, only to discover what the real price of being with him is—me.

If I choose Burke, I’ll be utterly consumed. There will be no Lola left to chase after lost women. I’ll be the one who’s lost.

I shiver again. I can’t deal with how strong my connection to Burke is. I need to get some distance from him to think.

Watching the landscape fly past the window as it changes from city to open country, I wonder again if Carter’s taking me out here for some sinister reason. “How far are we going?”

“Louisiana.”

I start to laugh, then stop. He isn’t joking.

“We’re leaving the state?” My thoughts about him possibly having done something horrible to Hope resurface—and the fact that I don’t know him nearly well enough to decide he had nothing to do with it. If he was really responsible for Hope disappearing, getting in this car could’ve been the last mistake I ever make.

Carter doesn’t answer, and I drop my head against the back of my seat. There’s nothing I can do about it now but trust my gut that Carter won’t hurt me. “We’re not going to be back before lunch, are we?”