Finagled (2 page)

Ramona was a slight girl, of average height, her hair a rich honey yellow swept up in artful waves and curls.  Things remarked as remarkable about her were her tiny hands and feet and clear blue eyes. She had a way of fluttering her lashes which was considered effective and she never bored anyone by speaking too much about herself. Young men liked a girl who would listen without interruption, her mother informed her, and while she sometimes felt a strong desire to retort, question or contradict, she kept this in check. She was mostly happy to stare longingly into a young man's eyeballs and listen to him talk about the fox he took down the previous weekend in the country.

Of a sudden, all the sorts of men who were considered suitable, so many tall, well built and lovely, could have been Ramona’s with only a little encouragement. Gossip had added interest.
She was late to one of Mrs. Eustace Fillingham's teas? Seriously? And she was not destroyed by the poodles? She must have incredible endurance! Isn't she otherwise agreeable and obedient? This could be cultivated! She was worth, in the very least, a look into.
Once the look was made, many keen interests were piqued.

This gossip had not been mentioned to Lady Havishamble. Much to Ramona's amusement, her mother took full credit for Ramona's sudden popularity. Finally the extra boned corset she had ordered from France was having its intended effect!

Now that the dandies surrounded her in her chair, vying for a dance, Ramona felt a bit dazzled by their curls and lace,  such beautiful men laid out before her, who was suitable and who was not? Who could she safely make eye contact with and who should she cut, her fan raised to her face and a sharp "hmph!" escaping her peachy bowed lips as they approached?

Tirinia found excuses to take an interest in Ramona's future, she had, after all, not had any children of her own, and she was, of course, well respected, indeed, a very well-respected matron of the fashionable set.  Lady Havishamble may not have fully approved of her husband's elderly aunt, but she could hardly help but feel flattered by the older woman’s  interest in her own daughter’s future. With Tirinia's backing, Ramona could well marry up a bit. Lady Havishamble began to imagine her own daughter as something more than a Missus. A lady herself, or Viscountess, even! Her eyes sparkled at the very idea. Her grandchildren inheriting titles! Her heartbeat quickened. She rabidly pushed Tirinia Shoobukkle and Ramona together. After all, the only chaperone worth having was one who could properly promote and display the assets of your young marriageable.

 Tirinia displayed Ramona's assets quite well, standing up and going to talk to some old flame or other when Ramona was accompanied by someone she particularly approved of, and managing to make a mess of her drink whenever she wanted the young man to go away. In this way Ramona had several proposals by the end of the month, from highly suitable young men, more than Lady Havishamble could have hoped for.

Tirinia however,  was not satisfied. Blonds and redheads aplenty sat at Ramona's feet, in pinks, pale blues and purples. Several of them were possibly prettier than Ramona herself, but not a one had prospects outside of their bloodlines. Tirinia wanted to see strong hands, tanned from riding out to oversee their own lands encircling that little bone-corseted waist.

Ramona's eyelashes fluttered as she looked at one particularly lovely young buck, in tan trousers that showed off his padded calves, creme and gold threads across his waistcoat, the perfect golden curl across his pale forehead, his hands as soft as Ramona's herself, moving like little birds about her, not daring to touch her pale perfection, but longing to. Tirinia made a noise, if she weren't such a lady, it might have been termed guttural. The young man tried to ignore her, and Ramona felt her face flush. Tirinia was getting tiresome. She was sure that she would have been kissed a dozen times if that elderly woman had not been watching like a hawk. So many soft, pink lips had approached her own only to be sent away by that ladylike grunt. Surely Tirinia was of the mind that a few kisses could help a girl choose her beau? How was she ever to know who to accept if she hadn't felt their tender kisses firstly?

As the young man was sent away for drinks Ramona said with a pout, "Really, Aunt Tirinia!"

"Dear, you have no idea what a milksop you're courting with that one," Tirinia fluttered her feathers, "He's the son of Lord Marvin Gooly, and I can tell you, the apple has not fallen far from the tree. His father was always tickling my cheeks with his whiskers and what came of it?" she inquired, and then answered just as quickly, "His lips were wet and inexperienced, all over my cheeks, following the path of his whiskers with a goofy laugh," she shuddered at the memory.

"His father must be 30 years younger than you, Aunt!"

"Indeed, and he was already married to Lady Gooly when I felt his moist face curls." Tirinia said, shockingly.

"Oh dear!" Ramona said.

"Indeed!" Tirinia exclaimed.

"Well, perhaps he won't do..." Ramona said, doubtfully, "but surely I can find out some of these things for myself... at this point even wet, inexperienced lips would be welcomed," she said with a long sigh.

"Please, let my experience work to your advantage, there are few men here whose fathers have not made passes at me," Tirinia said.

"Really, my goodness, were you a great beauty?"

"Am I not still? Ramona, curb your tongue! But yes, I was, and more besides, I was interesting. Interesting is something that interests many young men, though your mother may have taught you otherwise. If there’s nothing interesting about a man’s wife, he’ll find something somewhere else to interest him."

"Oh my!" Ramona exclaimed.

"Being shocked is not so attractive either my dear, now who is that young man? I don't know him by his father, and he certainly is a masculine one!" Tirinia drew attention to the entrance of a man, broad shouldered and dark haired, in a black suit and crimson cravat.

"Oh goodness, he does look funereal," Ramona quipped, interest sparked, but then quelled. "He's not very pretty, though."

"Pretty?!" Tirinia said, a bit sharply and loudly, for a few eyes turned towards her, and Ramona blushed. "Is that what the fashion is these days?"

"Well, what does fashion have to do with it, who wouldn't want a lovely man for a husband?" Ramona replied.

"What about masculine, muscled, strong, a man who can sweep you off your feet and take care of you?"

"Most of the men here are strong and muscular, that doesn't mean they have to neglect their hair," she squinted at the man who had entered and his cropped black hair, not a curl in sight.

"You think that is musculature, my dear? That is padding added by their tailors. I don't doubt many a man here has some strength from carrying his fellows home from the gaming hells or racing their horses pell mell at Hyde Park, but these are foolish ways to show your masculinity, and rather obvious ways to show your immaturity." She took a deep breath, "and since when is keeping one’s hair trimmed considered neglect!?"

Ramona could not think of a clever retort. Tirinia nodded knowingly and went off in search of a shared acquaintance with this mysterious gentleman in black.

Meanwhile, the Hon. Freddie Gooly returned, having been waiting for Tirinia to wander away from her young ward.  Ramona tried not to look too closely at his padded calves, but indeed she saw now that they didn't look quite natural. What a bother! Tirinia was so often right it was infuriating. Somehow this, and the description of his father's wet and inexperienced lips made Ramona feel slightly sick to the stomach. She found her responses to his overtures less pronounced, and could not help but search the room for her Aunt’s dark stranger. 

Tirinia was  busy working her way through introductions to this gentleman, who she found was, at least superficially, everything she could have hoped for. Not too young, well past his days of gambling, silly races and slavish fashion. He was very well to do and currently in London in search of a bride. No one knew where his tastes lay in that direction, but Ramona was universally considered to be something of a doll, so Tirinia was not concerned on that account.  After asking 12 people if they knew the man, she managed to get an introduction to someone who did, in fact, and it was thus she arrived before him,  slightly breathless, and held out her hand as she scrutinized him at close quarters.

Yes indeed, she thought, as he bowed over her hand. Though she would not have presumed to seek out a Duke for her young niece, she could not resist making a game try at this one. Duke of Blusterfuss, George Flanders. 

On closer inspection his face held intelligence, and a sparkle of humor lit his eyes as he observed this distinguished lady who stood before him with her gloved fingers outstretched. He had already guessed that she had someone, a granddaughter perhaps, in mind for him. This was something he had become accustomed to in the 3 weeks since he had arrived in London, presumed  in search of a bride. He had many reasons to be in London,  in fact a wife was the farthest thing from his mind, but what else were they to think, this fashionable set, when an unmarried, purportedly loaded Duke from the northern counties comes to London during the high season? Indeed, he wants a wife, finally tired of those empty halls, ready to pass on his title to a bouncing lusty baby boy, a boy that one of London’s finest young ladies would gladly give him in exchange for a title and luxury.

But Tirinia was charming and humorous, she used this to her advantage, though she naturally believed the rumors that he was in search of a wife, she also knew she would have to be particularly interesting to get him to even entertain Miss Ramona Havishamble, daughter of Lord Havishamble, whose title was mostly honorary and expected to die with him.  Ramona had many things to recommend her, but family was not particularly high on that list.

So talented she was that before he had time to protest, George Flanders found himself standing before this young lady. Having no interest in a wife, he had no disinterest in talking with a pretty young girl, and did not feel the need to first find out her heritage. He wasn't going to marry any of them, so he could safely converse with them all.

Ramona found herself somewhat flabbergasted. Tirinia had shown many times that she could finagle an introduction with nearly anyone of interest, but here she stood with a Duke on her arm, and this Duke was giving Ramona a somewhat surprisingly handsome, white-toothed smile. But still, he seemed so swarthy! She must not seem too interested. How silly! Too interested in a Duke! Interested or not he wouldn't have her. She could say whatever she liked and it would make no difference.

Luckily this was exactly what Tirinia had hoped for when she heard the young man was a Duke.

"You must be so tired of this," Ramona began, adjusting her skirts.

"Tired?" the Duke of Blusterfuss was taken aback. He was not rude enough to say,
indeed, I despise meeting beautiful young women every evening
, he wasn't even sure, when he put it like that, that he was tired of it, exactly, but often the conversation was a bit vapid and then he found himself seeking the company of the men in the billiard room, a cigar and some politics to help him forget the perfume and champagne in the other room.

"Well yes, we hear you are seeking a wife," Ramona said, arching an eyebrow, "and here I am, not suitable at all, vying for an introduction, surely this happens to you exceedingly."

"Well, yes, though I shudder to say anyone is unsuitable... to be honest, there has been a misunderstanding," he said, looking more closely at this curious girl.

"Oh? Are you not a Duke after all?" she queried, feeling slightly embarrassed.

"No indeed, that much is true, but I have not come to London in search of a wife," he said, apologetically.

"Really?" Tirinia asked, "Well, that is too rude of you!"

"Have you got one already?" Ramona asked.

"No I haven’t, but I am here on business. I just have so many family connections to keep up that I’ve been brought out in society a bit more than I had intended."

"If you are unmarried, you are seeking a wife, dear Duke, whether you think you are or not." Tirinia admonished him.

"I suppose many people have seen it as such. As it is, no young lady is truly suitable or unsuitable for me to dance with, if I may?" he offered his hand to Ramona.