Finally My Forever (16 page)

"I don't even know how to answer that question," he said. "I don't know if I'd call it jealous, but the thought of you going back into that house with a half naked man makes me feel…" he hesitated, staring into the empty space next to my head and rubbing his jaw as of searching for the right word. "…Uh, crazy? Insane?"

I thought he was mostly joking, and I laughed and squirmed, feeling delighted that he even cared enough to mention it.

He cupped his hand under my chin, tilting it up so I'd look at him. He gave me another small smile, but shook his head and said, "I'm not kidding, Carly. The thought of you going back in there with him dressed like that makes me… not happy. Does he walk around like that all the time?"

Chapter 18

I flinched at the thought of how frequently Isaac walked around the house shirtless. It was literally all the time. I almost never saw him with a shirt on unless he was headed out the door.

Micah must have sensed my hesitation because he repeated his question. "Does he walk around like that all the time?" he asked again.

I tried to keep my face emotionless, but it was incredibly difficult. Micah was obviously annoyed by the thought, and that made me overwhelmingly happy. I wondered if he was as annoyed by Isaac as I was by the thought of him getting home cooked meals at Gina's house.

"He just likes to show off because he works so hard at the gym," I said, carefully avoiding the question.

Micah blew out a long, exasperated breath and shook his head, looking off to the side as if extremely irritated by the thought. I watched the muscles in his jaw and temple flex as I stared at his profile.

"I have abs too," he said, glancing down at me, still agitated. "But you don't see me letting them all hang out."

"You have abs?" I asked, unable to hide my amusement as I smiled up at him.

He furrowed his eyebrows at me, and I bit my lip to keep from smiling too hard. Before I knew what was happening, he took my hand and placed it on his stomach. I could feel how solid and rigid his abs were, even with a layer of fabric between us. My breath hitched and my amused grin faded as my heart started beating out of control. He smiled at the sight of my sudden shift, and his smile only served to make me more breathless.

"You do have abs," I said.

"Yeah, I have abs," he said confidently, "and I work hard on them just like your roommate in there, but you don't see me walking around without a shirt all the time, do you?"

I wanted to say I wish you would, but I held my tongue.

"And I don't know how I feel about him being all,
that's my boy
with Roscoe, and giving him treats and all that."

Another huge smile spread across my face, and I had to try to hold it back a little. Isaac, in no way shape or form, held a candle to Micah, but I couldn’t help but take pleasure in seeing him so annoyed.

"What's so funny?" he asked, scowling at me. "How would you feel if I was going home to a half naked woman right now?"

"I'm not
going home
to him," I defended. "I barely even notice him. He's just my roommate. He's seeing somebody, anyway."

He let out a huff. "All the more reason he needs to put on a shirt," he said.

His hand had been holding mine against his stomach as we talked, and at that point, he let them drop, but didn't let go of my hand. I was hyper aware of his touch, and nerves continually coursed through my body. He readjusted his hand to get a better grip on mine and I stared at him not knowing what to say. We stood that way for several long seconds, just checking each other out before he finally spoke again.

"It's probably stupid for me to get so mad, but here's the way I look at it…" he hesitated, and sighed as if looking for the right words. "Okay, so way back when the accident first happened, I was pretty much a mess. I had all this guilt, resentment, doubt, and anger. I was trying to give it to God, and knew that He would use it for my good, but it was just overwhelming, you know?"

He paused, and I nodded. A little smile touched his lips, and I clutched his hand in both of mine, feeling like I wanted to comfort him.

"Well, during the absolute worst time," he continued, "when I was in the freaking pit of despair, God clearly spoke to me. It wasn't an audible voice, but it was one of those clear feelings where I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it came from God. Anyway, what He told me was that someday I'd find someone who understood my pain."

He paused with a shy smile.

"So I held on to that, and when you told me your story, I knew that was it. I knew it was you. Getting to know you only confirms it."

He pulled his hand out of mine and used it to tuck my hair behind my ear.

"What I'm trying to say is that in my mind, you're mine. I know we're just getting to know each other, and I probably shouldn't have told you any of this so soon, but my brain thinks of you belonging to me. You're supposed to be mine." He gestured toward my house again. "So maybe that'll help you understand why I'm about ready to kill Fabio in there if he doesn't put a shirt on and leave my dog alone."

His statement made me giggle. I was already feeling giddy, and his reference to Roscoe as his dog put me over the edge. I blinked up at him to find that he was smiling too.

"I don't mean to scare you with any of that, I just thought it might explain why I—"

"I'm not scared," I said, cutting him off.

I gently put my hand on his cheek because I just couldn’t resist touching it any longer. My fingertips grazed the edge of his scar, and in that second, I thanked God for the pain we had both been through.

"I'm going to kiss you now," he said.

"Please," I whispered breathlessly.

His mouth came down on mine with an absence of gentleness. He wasn't rough with me, but he meant this kiss. He wrapped one arm around my waist and the other around the back of my head, as he clutched me firmly to him. I opened to him, and he dipped his tongue into my mouth several times, claiming me as his own. My legs were rendered useless, and he held my limp body as he kissed me deeply.

I let out an uncontrollable moan, which made him break the kiss. He pulled back and we stared at each other breathlessly as if wondering what had just happened.

"I'm sorry," he said. "No, I'm not actually, but if you want me to be, I'll say I am."

"I don't want you to be sorry," I said.

"You want me to do it again?" he asked, challengingly.

I nodded and he bent to kiss me again, only this time he used extreme constraint, which drove me equally as crazy. He held me by the back of the head as he placed kiss after gentle kiss on my mouth, cheek, jaw, neck, and then back up to my mouth again. I let out another small moan and he pulled back to stare down at me again.

"Yeah, you're not gonna be able to make that sound," he said.

"What sound?" I asked, not even realizing what I'd done. "That whimper or whatever that was. I don't think I can handle that kind of temptation."

"I whimpered?" I asked, laughing at myself.

"It's a good sound, baby girl," he said, squeezing me. "It's a little too good if you know what I mean."

"I'm sorry," I said, feeling embarrassed.

"How about neither of us be sorry," he said.

He had just bent to kiss my cheek when headlights shone brightly on us. Micah let go of the grip he had on me, but kept his hand loosely on the back of my waist. One of my roommates was home, and a few seconds of focusing on the car after they turned the engine off told me it was Ryan.

"Sorry!" Ryan called, getting out of his car. He approached us on his way into the house. He was just getting off work from his job waiting tables, and he was sharply dressed in all black. "You think you can get out?" Ryan asked, glancing back at his own parking job.

"Yeah, I can make it," Micah said.

Ryan smiled at him. "Hey, man, I'm Ryan," he said, holding his hand out.

Micah shook his hand without letting go of me. "Micah," he said, smiling.

"It's nice to meet you," Ryan said. He glanced at me and lifted the small paper sack he was holding. "I brought a little piece of pork roast for Roscoe, can I give it to him?"

"Only if it's little," I said. "He just had a treat. If it's too big you can give it to him tomorrow."

"I'll break off a little bite for him tonight if you don't care."

"That's fine. Thanks, Ryan."

Ryan waved at Micah again who answered with a smile and a curt nod.

"Are you kidding me?" Micah asked when Ryan made his way inside. He looked down at me with a challenging expression that made me laugh.

"They're just my roommates," I said.

"I thought Trish was your roommate."

"She is."

"Does he walk around naked too?" he asked, motioning to the door.

I giggled. "Isaac wasn't naked."

Micah was wearing a gorgeous, casual smile but he said, "Please understand this is not an ideal situation for me."

"Well please understand that they're just my roommates and nothing more," I said.

"Fair enough," he said, still wearing a little grin. "I guess I better be going."

I wanted to ask when I'd see or talk to him again. I felt a strong urge to never be apart from him, and the thought of him leaving had me dreading the void he'd leave in his wake.

"Don't forget to come to science class if you want to see the Coke experiment," I said, hoping to make a definite time to see him again so I could look forward to it.

"I'll see you before then," he said.

"Oh." I paused. "You will?"

"I thought I'd probably see you tomorrow, but if you can't, I figured you might want to come with us to church on Sunday. I'm filling in for the praise and worship guy this week. I'll be singing during both services, so I'll be there all morning."

"You're singing?" I asked.

He smiled and gave me a nod. "You coming?"

"I might," I said, "but I might need some more convincing when I see you tomorrow."

He smiled and pulled me by the waist into his embrace. He bent and placed one last kiss on my mouth. It felt like heaven, and I wanted to moan, but I made a conscious effort not to. I was smiling at the thought when he let me go.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothin'," I said, still grinning slightly. "I had fun tonight. Thanks for everything."

He opened the door of his truck and stood there, poised to get in. "I'll call you in the morning," he said.

I nodded and held up a hand to wave. I felt like I wanted to tell him
I love you
. I didn't want him to drive off without hearing it from me, but I knew that was ridiculous, so I just stood there and smiled as he got in his truck and backed out of the driveway.

He rolled down his window to wave one last time before driving off, and I turned to go into the house feeling like I was walking on clouds.
He's calling me in the morning; he's calling me in the morning
, I thought, grinning uncontrollably as I opened the door.

Isaac was in the living room watching TV, but Ryan must have been in his room. "Ryan wanted me to tell you he needed fifteen minutes in the shower before you could run any hot water," Isaac said, not looking away from the TV.

"That's fine," I said, stooping to love on Roscoe.

Isaac looked at me. "And he gave Roscoe a big ole hunkin' pork chop."

"Did he really?" I asked.

Isaac smiled. "No, he gave him a little piece. I'm just messing with you."

"You're spoiled rotten," I said, still petting Roscoe, who had rolled onto his back for a belly rub.

"I can't believe you went roller skating," Isaac said. "Your quads and hammys are gonna be feeling that tomorrow."

I laughed. "I already told Micah that," I said. "It was so worth it, though." I stared into space as I remembered the highlights of this night. "I also ate at Velvet Meg's and I got to meet the chef."

"Seriously?" he asked, looking impressed.

"Yeah, Micah's family knows her."

"He seems nice," he said.

I let out a long, enamored sigh.

"Uh-oh," he said. "That sounds like trouble."

I let out a little laugh. "I'm in so much trouble," I agreed. "You have no idea."

Chapter 19

I picked up the Bible Micah gave me when I climbed into bed. The cover was soft, but the pages were stiff and unyielding, and I imagined it all broken in after years of use.

I looked down at it, not really knowing where to begin. I thought about opening it and starting to read on the first page but ultimately decided to thumb through it, letting my eye fall on random places here and there. It seemed a bit mysterious to me, but I found myself being drawn to it. I read for a while before I set it on my nightstand and turned off my lamp, letting my head hit the pillow with a comfortable whoosh.

I had a hard time going to sleep that night. I stared at the ceiling, thinking about our date and reliving the whole evening. It was so perfect, I wanted to go back to the beginning of it and do the whole thing over again.

And then, my traitorous brain started having thoughts that weren't so enjoyable. My newly forming relationship with Micah was so special to me that I started having thoughts about things that could take it away. I thought about him going to work at Gina's house next week. I thought about how beautiful she was and knew she was the type who'd take advantage of having him as a captive audience. I imagined that home-cooked meal she and her mother would make. It would probably taste really good, and I was sure they would be super sweet and accommodating to Micah and his crew.

I found myself feeling agitated and nervous until a random thought crossed my mind. It was a simple thought, but it gave me enough peace of mind to stop worrying about it and fall asleep. I thought if God truly wanted me to end up with Micah, then neither Gina nor anyone else would be able to interfere. If we were supposed to end up together, then we would. Period. I certainly wouldn't be able to control every pretty girl who crossed his path. All I could do was be myself, and if we were meant to be, then that would be enough.

I slept like a rock once that thought sunk in, and woke up just before 9am to Roscoe stirring and sniffing at my arm. I glanced at my alarm clock and moaned something to my fuzzy little early bird about letting me get some rest on a Saturday. I stayed there for a few minutes, trying to go back to sleep before deciding it was hopeless.

I picked up my phone from the nightstand and smiled as I stared down at it, noticing I already had a text from Micah. I wiped the sleep from my eyes and blinked, focusing on the screen.

Micah: "Good morning sunshine. Call me when you get up."

I instantly forgot all about how mad I was at Roscoe for waking me up. I reached over to pet his belly and spoke to him as if he was the best dog in the world. "He called me sunshine," I told Roscoe, cooing tone that made it sound like I was talking to him. His tail started thumping against my leg. "And he said I should call him," I added, still using baby talk.

Roscoe was either overjoyed to hear the news or overjoyed by my excitement. He got to his feet and stared down at me with a wagging tail and what looked like a smile on his face.

"I'll take you out in a minute," I said. I pressed the appropriate buttons to call Micah and cleared my throat once or twice, making sure my voice would work.

"There she is," he said, answering his phone.

The sound of his voice sent instant shivers through my body.

"Good morning," I said, my voice betraying how sleepy I was.

"Did you just wake up?" he asked.

"Yeah, and I wasn't happy about it either—Roscoe's in big trouble."

He laughed. "He woke you up?"

"Yeah, he's used to my school schedule, so he stinks at sleeping in."

"Why don't you bring him over for breakfast?" he asked.

I smiled, loving the possibility of seeing him this soon. "At your house?" I asked.

"Why not? I have eggs and bacon, and cereal and all that stuff. You wanna come over?"

"You talked me into it."

"It was the bacon, right?"

I laughed. "Give me a few minutes to get dressed. Text me your address."

"All right. I'll see you in a few," he said.

"Sounds good."

I had a huge smile on my face as I said goodbye and hung up the phone. "You wanna go to Micah's?" I asked Roscoe, petting him and getting him all pumped up just by the tone of my voice. He sprang off the bed and back onto it waiting for me to take him wherever we were going.

We had a small fenced yard and I put Roscoe outside so I could get dressed in peace. I pulled on skinny jeans, Chuck Taylors, and an Adidas hoodie, and put my hair into a quick messy bun high on my head.

I put on a little foundation, mascara, and lip-gloss since that was all I ever wore anyway. I read in a magazine one time that if you only did one thing to your face, you needed to curl your eyelashes. I went out and bought one of those little curler tools that same day, and ever since then, I always did it. It was years ago when I read that, but it was one of those things that stuck with me. I didn't have many beauty rituals, but curling my eyelashes was one of them.

It took me less than 10 minutes to reach Micah's house. I knew his business was relatively new, so I was taken aback by how nice his place was. It looked to be as big as the house I was sharing with three other roommates, and caught myself feeling curious about the concrete business. Micah's truck must have been parked in the garage, because mine was the only car in the driveway. I checked his address again just to make sure I hadn't made a mistake.

Once I got a good view of the front porch, I knew it was Micah's. Under my feet, was the most beautiful stained concrete I'd ever seen. It was a wide porch that ran most of the length of the house. It had a big sweeping swirl pattern that was stained several shades of brown and mahogany. I never realized concrete was an art form, but obviously it was. I stared down at it knowing for sure Micah's hands had created it.

He opened the door, and while still staring at the floor, I said, "This is so beautiful!"

"The porch was my guinea pig," he said. "You should see the basement."

I glanced at him to find that he was stooping to greet Roscoe. He was wearing athletic clothes—a pair of fitted sweatpants and a black, long sleeved Nike t-shirt.

"You look sporty," I said.

We made eye contact for the first time when I said that, and I was surprised again at the sight of his face. It was like every time I was away from him I forgot how handsome he was, and when I saw him again it took me off guard.

"I went to the gym earlier," he said, smiling.

"You already went to the gym?" I asked, unable to comprehend that sort of dedication.

"You look sporty too," he said, pinching my hoodie, as he straightened to stand next to me.

"Yeah, but I didn't earn it," I said. "I just rolled out of bed and put this on."

His eyes roamed over my face as he took me in with that confident, easy smile I loved so much. "You wanna come in?"

I nodded and followed him through the threshold. "I really can't believe how nice this house is," I said. "I should have gotten into concrete instead of teaching."

He glanced at me with a grin. "My business is doing well, but I'm not at this level yet."

My expression was curious, and he continued.

"I got a settlement from the accident."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said, feeling bad at the turn the conversation had taken.

He smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Don't be," he said. "It was a crazy, life-changing experience, but I'm starting to appreciate the bigger picture. Natalie's better off where she is, and my life is what it is because of the path I've taken."

Roscoe ran to check out the rest of the house as Micah and I walked toward the kitchen. "Is he okay?" I asked. Micah nodded. I didn't want to brush by the subject while he was being so open, so I said, "Appreciating the bigger picture is a gift—I'm getting there myself, and there's a lot to be said for it."

I sat on a barstool while Micah made breakfast. Roscoe checked out the house for several minutes but ultimately decided he wanted to be in there with us and curled up on a rug by the sink.

Micah was a clown of the first degree. He made up an impromptu breakfast song while he was cooking. It was so cool and he sang it so well that I asked him where he heard it. He laughed like he thought my question was cute and said he made it up.

The weather was crisp and beautiful, and we spent the entire day together. Micah had some yard work to do and needed to wash his truck, but he said he wanted me to hang out while he did it. I pulled some weeds for him while he got his chores done. He had a fenced yard that was three times the size of mine, and Roscoe thought he'd died and gone to heaven.

It was the first day I spent at Micah's house, but I felt the oddest sense of comfort, like I'd been there a thousand times. No sense of comfort could prepare me for the shock I felt at the first sight of his beautiful basement floors. It was mid afternoon by the time he gave me the official tour of the house, which ended with the basement.

"I didn't even know stain came in this many colors!" I said, staring slack-jawed at the unbelievable floors. An intricate design with swirls and stars had been cut into the concrete, and the colors of stain that accentuated the design were absolutely breathtaking. There was brown, black, blue, red, gold, green and orange—a rainbow of colors.

"You like it?" he asked.

"It's… I’m…" I stammered. "Did you seriously make this with your own hands?"

I looked at him and saw that he was smiling. "You like it?"

"It's really the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. It should be in an art gallery or something. You should have people over every night just so they can appreciate it."

"I have you to appreciate it," he said, drawing me into his arms. I went willingly, hanging onto him as if I never wanted to let go. He'd been working outside, and I breathed in a wonderful mix of his shower gel and deodorant mixed with a distinctly masculine smell from excursion.
What sort of man was he that even his sweat smelled good?
I squeezed him tightly, hoping his scent was rubbing off on my shirt so I could revisit it once I got home.

We ate dinner together before Roscoe and I left. I didn't want to leave, but I had some things to tend to at home, and this fairytale day had to come to an end at some point.

Micah kissed me as I was leaving. It was amazing and knee-buckling, but it wasn't as passionate as the one we shared in my driveway, and I knew he was trying to hold back for the sake of propriety. My urges wanted to say to heck with propriety, but I knew Micah and I were doing the right thing by taking it slow.

Trish was at home when I got back. Ryan was there too, but he must've been in his room because Trish was the only one in the living room. She had text me earlier, so she knew where I had been.

"Did you stay at his house all day? She asked as soon as I walked in the door grinning from ear to ear.

She called Roscoe over, and he jumped on the couch to greet her. "We got out once to get some tire cleaning stuff at an auto supply store, but other than that we stayed at his house. It's beautiful. You should see it. I'll have to take you over there sometime. It's not far from here."

She loved on Roscoe as she listened to me, so I continued.

"He did some concrete work in his house, and it's the coolest thing I've ever seen. I didn't even know you could do that with concrete."

"When are you gonna see him again?"

"I'm going to church with him in the morning."

She smiled at me and lifted her eyebrows. "I'm technically not going with him because he's singing, and he has to be there really early, but I'm meeting him at the late service. Do you want to come? We're planning on having lunch with his parents afterward, and I know they wouldn't mind if you come."

She shook her head. "Maybe sometime, but I have plans to go on a hike with Shane tomorrow if it doesn't rain."

"What do you think I should wear?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I think you'd be fine in jeans. I don't think you have to wear your Sunday best to church nowadays."