Finding Fate (19 page)

“Please,” I say as I look at the wife.  “Please.  I just want to apologize to you.  And to your daughter.”

“To Elizabeth,” Colt says.

“Don’t say her name,” the man bellows.  “Do you realize...”

“Jeff, stop,” the woman says.

“My mother has always had a problem,” I say.  I don’t care if anyone wants to hear it or not.  “I tried and maybe I could have tried more.  But I’m the daughter, not the parent.  Her parents are dead.  Her only sister left a long time ago.  It was just me.  I tried to keep her from driving.  I tried to keep her from drinking.  If your daughter...”

“She’s going to be okay,” the woman says.  “It’s a miracle.”

“A miracle?” the husband, Jeff asks.  He looks at his wife.  “For Christ’s sake, Mary, we could have been killed.”

“But we weren’t.”

“My mother is going to die tonight,” I say.  Now I have all eyes on me.  I speak lower, not wanting to scare Elizabeth.  “Her injuries have her on life support.  She’s going to die.”

“I’m so sorry,” Mary says.  She reaches with her right hand, taking my left hand.  “It’s not your fault.”

“It is,” I say.

“It’s not,” Colt adds.

Jeff looks at me, then to his wife’s hand holding mine.  “They’re right.  It’s not your fault.”

“You can’t live with guilt,” Mary says. 

“I have been,” I say.  “I wanted to apologize to you.”

“And to Elizabeth,” Colt says.

Jeff looks at Mary.  Mary nods.  I can see she’s a woman of belief.  Something about her spirit makes me feel better, considering the hell around us. 

She leads me more into the room and that’s when I see her.

Elizabeth. 

She has her mother’s hair and eyes, but her father’s facial structure.  She’s a perfect combination of both parents.  There’s a cut on her right cheek along with bruising around her eye.  Her right leg is in a cast and from what I can tell, that’s the extent of the injuries.

“She was lucky,” Mary whispers to me.  “A miracle that she wasn’t hurt worse.”

“She’s beautiful,” I say.

Elizabeth looks at me, then Colt.  Her eyes widen a little and her cheeks turn red.  She thinks Colt is cute.  Then again, who wouldn’t?

“Are you a nurse?” she asks.

I smile as her parents laugh out a weak laugh. 

“No,” I say. 

I have no idea how to approach the little girl so I take a few steps towards the bed. 

“Then who are you?” she asks.

“My name is Isabella.”

“Who’s he?”  She points at Colt and her face is still red. 

“I’m Colt,” Colt says. 

“I’m Elizabeth.”

“I know,” I say.  “Elizabeth... I just wanted to say I’m sorry about what happened.”

“What happened?” she asks with a sense of innocence that brings tears to my eyes.

“The accident,” I say.  “My mother was driving the other car.  And I’m sorry about that.”

“Why?”

“Because she hit your car.  She was... she was sick.”

“She had a belly ache?” Elizabeth asks.

“Something like that,” I say.

“Were you with her?  Coming to the hospital?”

“No,” I say.  “We didn’t get along that much.  I feel bad that something happened to you.  I’m glad you’re okay though.”  I look at the bulge of the cast under the thin blanket on her.  “Mostly okay.”

“Honey,” Mary says, stepping forward.  “Isabella’s mother is very sick tonight.  She can use our prayers right now, okay?”

Elizabeth nods.  There’s a sense of faith in the room like I never felt before.  This is how they’ve raised Elizabeth.  To be a girl who turns into a woman with understanding.  With faith.  With hope.  I look at Elizabeth and realize she’s everything I wish I could have been.

“We better get moving,” Colt whispers.

I nod.  “I’m sorry for bothering you all.  I just wanted to apologize.”

“Make sure you take care of her,” Elizabeth says.

“Of who?” I ask.

“Your mommy.  Take care of her.”

I freeze.  I know I can’t tell a little girl that my mother is going to die.  So I just nod and smile, wanting to leave the family on their own.  They need the time together.  To reflect and heal.  It’s amazing how close they are.  A true family.  Through good times and bad.

I actually feel saddened leaving the room, knowing I have to now face my mother.  My dying mother.  We take the elevator again and a nurse takes me to the room.  I look at Colt and he understands.  I have to do this alone.  He releases his hold on me and backs away. 

My mother is in the hospital bed with machines hooked up to her.  I instantly want Colt with me.  But he’s outside the room, probably pacing the hall.  The nurse allows me a few minutes to myself and I’m left alone with my mother.  Of all the times I’ve felt fear near my mother, it’s been nothing quite like this.  Of all the times we fought, yelled, and of all the times I’ve wondered when it will all end, I didn’t expect it to be like this.

The machines are keeping her alive.

Just as the doctor warned, her face is cut and bruised.  It’s easy to tell she went through the windshield.  Drinking and driving with no seatbelt.  Not the smartest set of decisions in the world.

I pull the chair near the bed.

I guess I’m supposed to talk.

“Just so you know, everyone else is fine.  The other people.  If you can remember hitting another vehicle.”  I pause, waiting as though she’s going to pop up and be fine.  She’s not. Nothing is fine.  Nothing has been fine.  Now the anger hits me.  I fold my hands together and my heart starts beating. 

“What’s wrong with you?” I ask.  “You could have killed someone.  Now you’ve killed... yourself.”

Damn, I’m crying again.

I picture Grammie and Grandpa.

What would they think or do right now?

“This is just who you are,” I say.  “There’s nothing I can do to change it.  I’ve done my best, Mom, I really have.  I’m sorry if I could have done more but I’m not ready for all this.  Not without them... without Grammie and Grandpa.”  Now the tears are streaming.  “I know it hurt you so much when you lost them.  It hurt me too.  But they gave us so much.  I believe you know that.  I believe you can hear me...”

My words trail off as my eyes shut.  Everything’s attacking me at once.  In the swirl of emotions in my head and body I hear one voice.

A small voice.

A true voice.

An innocent voice.

I hear Elizabeth.

Take care of her.

How am I supposed to take care of my mother right now?  It’s not possible.  She’s already taken care of herself... the years of drinking, the years of regret.  She put herself here, not me. 

Then it hits me.

I can take care of her.

And I will.

I take a deep breath, trying to handle my emotions the best I can.  I then touch my mother’s hand and lean towards the bed. 

I can take care of her...

“Mom, I’m sorry for yelling,” I say.  “I’m upset.  You know that.  You’re my mother.  You’ve always been my mother.  I just want you to know that I understand how you feel.  The pain.  Being alone.  Regret.  Okay?  I hide in the bakery like you hide in a bottle.  I’m not sure I’m much better than you but know that I don’t hate you.  Okay?  I don’t hold anything against you.  I swear on it, Mom.  I... I love you, Mom.  I love you.”

And just like that, I take care of her.  I stand up and lean down, kissing her forehead.  This is it, the last moment I’ll have with my mother.

I squeeze her arm tighter.

“Mom, it’s okay now.  You can let go.  You have to let go.  They’re waiting for you.  I love you.”

I let her go and wait a few seconds.  I expect everything to just shut down but it doesn’t.  Everything is normal, or as normal as it could be.

As for me, I’m done.  There’s nothing else I can do.  Fate will take over.  And that’s something I’ve come to believe in.

I leave the room and as I thought, Colt is pacing the hall.  He’s halfway down when I see him.  My knees start to buckle and he charges at me, making it just in time to catch me. 

“Bella,” he says.  “Bella... are you okay?”

I nod.  I’m crying.  I’m smiling though too.  I’m finding myself.

“Bella...”

“I took care of her,” I whisper.  “Like Elizabeth said.  I told her I loved her and that’s it.  It’s over.”

Colt looks around and then helps me to my feet.  “Come on.  Let’s get a seat somewhere.”

“No, let’s go.”

“Go where?”

“Let’s leave.  Tonight.  Right now.”

Colt stops.  “Bella, we can’t leave now.  Your mother...”

“It’s done.  When she dies, everything goes to her sister.”

“Your aunt?”

“I guess she’s my aunt.  I don’t consider her it.  She gets the house, the bakery, the everything.  I don’t care.  I want out.  I want out of it all.  Like you said, I have the memories, right?  The pictures in my mind.”

“Bella...”

“Isn’t this what you wanted?”

Colt puts his hands to my face, holding me.  It feels so good to be held.  “Bella, I’ve never wanted anything more than this.  You are my everything.  My life, Bella, is wrapped around yours.”

“Then take me,” I say.  “Take me away.”

“Okay.”

“I just want a chance at this.  At life.  At us.  At truth.”

“That’s what I’ll give you,” Colt says.

We kiss and we leave. 

Just like that.

It’s funny how moments happen.  How one can come and go.  How one can come and change everything.  And how one can come and mean everything. 

That’s what Colt is.

Everything.

-Epilogue-

Colt drops the cardboard box on the counter and I jump.

I hate it when he scares me like this.  Not to mention now all the customers in the café are staring at us. 

He’s wearing a suit and tie, something different to see.  Something sexy.  Something really sexy.  My mind begins to rage with thoughts, but I stop them and point to the box.

“What’s this?”

“Open it,” he says.

I reach for it.  He hand comes to mine.  “Not right now though.”

“What the hell?  You give me something and I can’t open it?”

“Not right now.  Wait until we close.”

I look out at the full tables of people.  “Don’t think that’s for a little while.”

“That’s why we hired help.  Where’s Anna?”

“She comes in at three.”

“Good.”  Colt turns around and scans the café.  He nods.  He inhales.  He turns back around.  “Yeah, this is perfect.”

I smile at him and our eyes lock.  “What’s with the tie?”

“Business meeting.  Looking at the small place near the interstate.”

“Keep the tie for when I get home.”

“Why?  Am I in trouble?” Colt asks.

I grab the tie and pull.  He comes close to me.  “Big trouble, mister.  Big trouble.”

“Good.  You better get it all out now because we’re going to get extra busy.  Little Ms. Bake Bread is the hottest thing in town.”

I back up and watch as Colt leaves. 

It’s amazing what time can do for two people. 

I got the call an hour after leaving the hospital that my mother passed away.  An hour after that my Aunt Nancy called me in a fake teary fit that her sister was dead.  I went along with it because there was nothing I could do.  Aunt Nancy thinks she’s inheriting a goldmine.  A free house.  A free business.  Everything.  What she’s getting is a house that needs work and a bakery that needs people to run it.  She’s offered me a job many times but I’m too busy... running the new café with Colt.

Turns out his mother left everything to him, enough to open a new place.  A friend of his at the bank gave him the loan to open the place, a side project he had been slowly working on for a year or so.  I was told by Colt that if I wouldn’t bake, he wouldn’t open the place.  No arguing there.  It’s a different world when you have help with the business and when you actually enjoy it.

I went to my mother’s funeral and paid my respects.

Everyone is happier now, dare I say it.

Becca-Ann offered to fly in and be there for me but after a video call with Colt, she understood that I was in good hands.  She told me Colt was one of the hottest guys she ever saw, even on a computer screen.  When she asked about my plane ticket to Paris, I already had a better idea in mind.  I wouldn’t tell her my wicked intentions, but I do wish I was there when she showed up at the airport and saw Stevey walking towards her.

I don’t miss much at the old bakery, but when I do get those feelings, Colt takes me for a ride on his motorcycle to see it.  There’s nothing there now but a closed business.  Same for the old house.  Everything is closed.  I figure sooner than later my aunt will realize the mess she’s been given.  And all I can do is laugh at it.