Finding Fire: Paranormal Romance (Bad Boys Of The Underworld Book 1) (22 page)

“She told you I was his son?”

Anna nodded.

“He was much older than me. I think I surprised him. He never felt strongly about anyone before me. He would tell me I was the reason for everything he did. He didn’t want his son to live in the world as a scavenger and monster.”

He continued to walk along the edge of the room so Anna could get a good look at all the details as he talked. “My mother was killed when I was just ten. Kirill and she were not close, so that wasn’t what set him off. I was almost killed. Mortals stormed the house in the middle of the day and dragged her out into the sun. There were too many for her to fight them off.

“I only narrowly fit under the floor. They burned the house when they were done with her. It was only luck that the weather conditions were not right for fire and it faded out before burning my cubby. Because of the sun I couldn’t run, and because of the fire, I would have died if I stayed.”

A tear fell from her eye. “I’m so sorry, Nicolas. That’s horrible.”

Nicolas’s face was stiff. “Honestly, I was very young at the time and it was so long ago. My memory of the night is rather vague.”

Anna wasn’t sure she believed him. She had a feeling that if she ever lived to be half a millennium old, her memories of Charles would still be crystal-clear. “After that, it was just you and Kirill?”

“Yes. The three-hundred-year-old vampire was now a single parent. It wasn’t easy for him. He had a lot of anger in him over my mother’s death.”

“Is that because she was his mate?” asked Anna as they rounded the corner of the ballroom.

“My mother wasn’t his mate. They were good friends who accidently had a son. He was upset at how vulnerable we were to the very people who were supposed to be our food. We were stronger than them and had powers beyond their imagination. So with me at his side, he set out to give vampires the power to unite.”

“I don’t know,” said Anna pensively. “That sounds a bit like a vampire who wants to enslave humanity.”

Nicolas shook his head. “He wanted power, but not to enslave. It was when people believed we were real that there were so many murders of my kind. By staying smart and hidden, we could rule and not make an enemy of the mortals.”

Anna stopped walking and turned to face Nicolas. “Do you think less of me because of my mortality?”

He cocked his head at her question. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, all this talk about you against the humans. All the things you do to me. Dragging me around, playing with my head. I know you’re older and stronger than me, but you aren’t better. You can’t treat me like that.”

“I want you safe.” He reached a hand out for her face.

Anna jerked her head from his hand. “I’m not safe. I’m human. I come with an expiration date.” She saw his jaw tense up. She didn’t want to talk about her eventual demise. She brought back the original topic. “So what actually happened with Kirill?”

Nicolas looked as though he didn’t want to change the subject of conversation but answered her anyway. “His age caught up to him.”

Nicolas started to walk again, and Anna had to take quick steps to catch up. “He was old and tired of the politics and fighting. He never found a mate. I think he had nothing to live for anymore. Aleksander thinks he lost his mind. I know that if we had patience, he would have been able to snap himself out of it.”

“How many mortals like me would have to die before he snapped out if it?”

“If you knew how many lives he saved, you wouldn’t be so quick to judge,” he shot back.

Anna stopped in her tracks. “So if I knew him better, I would be okay with him killing indiscriminately? I guess in the long run it doesn’t matter that much. They were just humans he was killing.”

Anna couldn’t continue this conversation without getting more pissed off. She turned and strode away. She didn’t hear his footsteps but felt his eyes on her until she was out of the massive room that had so fascinated her just moments ago.

What kind of monster was Nicolas? Was he really so nonchalant about murdering innocents? Maybe she was the stupid one for thinking a vampire would care about humans being killed.

She needed to talk to Evie. She needed someone to try to understand what she was dealing with. She couldn’t talk to Abigail, and she would never want to divulge all the secrets she’d learned to the Stakes.

Anna stopped at that. She really was all alone now. She now knew about this fascinating world, but she could never share it with anyone. The only person she could speak freely to was a queen now. She wouldn’t exactly have time to pick up the phone whenever Anna really needed to talk.

Anna would have to go home soon. She only had a few more classes she could miss before her job would be in jeopardy, and she thought she might have passed that threshold a class or two ago.

Nicolas wouldn’t be coming back with her. Aleksander might not even let him leave at all. Even if he made it out of this place alive, he wouldn’t want to come back with
her
.

They had never talked about the future, but Anna wasn’t naive. Nicolas had never said or done anything to lead her to believe what they had was more than sex. Even if she wanted more with him, she knew how he felt about humans. Besides that, Anna wasn’t even sure she wanted him.

He was fascinating, beautiful, and in bed he was the definition of the word animal in the best way, but he was also horribly controlling. How could she submit herself to another controlling man? It would only be a matter of weeks before she would bolt from him.

No. When she left the palace, she would be more or less alone. Might as well get used to it now.

Anna walked to the wing of the palace Evie and Aleksander occupied. She probably passed about five vampires on the way. None of them spoke to her, but they were not too shy to stare.

It was uncomfortable for her to be the center of attention when she was so used to blending into crowds. She wanted to know what they were thinking as they looked at her. Were they thinking how funny it was that a human thought she belonged here? Maybe they were imagining how she would taste.

Her feet carried her a bit faster to reach Evie. When she reached her door, she wanted to pound on the wood until Evie answered but forced her hand to calmly rap on the door.

It must have been nearing dawn, because Evie was dressed in a beautiful silk nightgown. Even her sleep clothes put Anna’s normal clothes to shame.

Still, Evie looked so beautiful and happy that Anna couldn’t help but smile. “Hey,” she said. “You want to take a little walk with me?”

“I would love to, but,” she looked out her window at the dark sky, “I don’t have much time.”

Anna looked over Evie’s shoulder at the same window. It still looked pitch black. She wondered whether it was just Evie’s internal clock that told her the sun was about to rise or whether all vampires could sense when the sun was coming.

“It doesn’t have to be long,” said Anna.

Evie quickly grabbed a robe from inside her room and came out to Anna. “So what did you want to talk about?”

Anna looked ahead and tried to make sure she could actually remember how to find her way around if she ever got lost in the maze of rooms. “Nothing specific. I wanted to see you.” Anna figured that sounded better than “I’m feeling really lonely and like an outcast here, but I don’t want to go home because you won’t be there and I will have to sort out feelings I may or may not have for a vampire who may or may not be evil.”

“Has Aleksander been treating Nicolas okay?” asked Evie.

Anna inwardly smiled at how Evie zoomed in on the subject that she really wanted to avoid. “Aleksander freed him, although I think he did it more for him than for Nicolas.”

“I heard about that. How is Nicolas?”

Anna looked over at Evie. “If you’re asking if he plans to murder Aleksander in his sleep, I don’t know. He hasn’t mentioned it to me.”

Evie turned a corner to a hallway that Anna had never been down before.

“Can I ask you something, Evie?”

“Ask me anything,” she said. “You already know all my darkest secrets anyway.”

“How did you cope with Aleksander?”

Evie stopped for a moment. “Well, transitioning was hard, and getting used to feeding took a while, but after that, things started to work themselves out.”

Anna shook her head. “Not that. I meant
him
. Isn’t he a bit controlling? And does his past ever get in between the two of you?”

“Is this about Charles?”

“Everything is about Charles, Evie. My whole life is based around the years I spent with him. I know Ray did the same to you. How could you and Aleksander get past it?”

Evie reached out and clasped both of Anna’s hands in her own. “You have to remember that you’re living your own life, not one for Charles. If you’re living to spite everything he ever said or did, that’s not a true life.

“Aleksander is a lot to handle at times, but so am I. He does try to control me, but try is all he does. He doesn’t make me do anything I don’t want to do.”

Anna pulled her hands away. Evie had respect from Aleksander. That was what a relationship could be based on, and Anna didn’t know whether she could ever get Nicolas to respect her.

“How exactly does Aleksander plan on using Nicolas?” asked Anna.

“Nicolas didn’t tell you?”

Anna remembered that she’d snapped at Nicolas almost as soon as he’d run up the stairs. “We talked about some other things,” she said.

“Well, the basis of the plan is to make it appear that Nicolas and Aleksander have become allies. To prove that, they’ll have to appear in public together a lot in the next few days. Next week, we will have a homecoming party for Nicolas, and hopefully, if there
is
someone after Aleksander, he will strike at the party. We are sending word that there is trouble in the south and that some of the guards are headed down there now.”

“Is Aleksander worried about your safety?” asked Anna.

Evie gave Anna a mischievous smirk. “I’ve been a vampire now for fifteen years. That might not be a long time in vampire years, but I know how to handle myself. I’ve been trained personally by Aleksander and his best guards. I’m a very dangerous woman.”

Anna laughed. She would love to see this petite blonde take down some big bad vampire in a fight. Evie continued, “Besides that, I will have guards watching me at all times. I would be more worried about yourself if I were you.”

“But I’m no one,” said Anna.

“You’re someone important enough to track down. Besides, you have heard this man. He might be afraid you’d recognize him.”

“That’s ridiculous. He could’ve disguised his voice.”

“Yes, a normal person wouldn’t try to kill you, but we are talking about a vampire who has his sights on assassinating the king. He probably isn’t too sane.” Evie glanced out another window.

Now Anna could see that the dark sky was a few shades lighter than it had been a couple minutes ago. “I guess you should be getting back,” she said.

Evie looked as though she wanted to stay longer. “I know today was strange for you, but tomorrow we are spending the whole night together, okay?”

“I can’t wait.” Anna walked with Evie back to her bedroom and gave her a tight hug before she let go.

When Anna got to her room, she saw Nicolas sitting next to her door. He wore the same dirty clothes he’d been in all day and night. He was probably exhausted. He should be resting, not sitting on the floor and waiting for her.

He must have heard her approach, because he looked up as she got closer.

“Who told you where my room was?”

One of his big hands pushed himself up as he stretched to his full height in front of her. “I could find you anywhere in this palace if I really wanted to,” he said.

Anna smirked. “I’m not really sure if that’s a compliment or a threat.”

She walked around him and opened her door. He followed her inside her room, and she stood for a moment and looked at him. He seemed so tired. He was surrounded by people he didn’t trust and was now being used to protect someone who he’d been planning vengeance on for the past sixty years.

Anna wanted to walk into his arms right then and there. That was the problem. She knew she couldn’t let herself grow any more attached to him when she already knew they wouldn’t end up together.

“You should get some sleep,” she said. “You’ve had a tough couple of days.”

Nicolas walked closer to her. “I can sleep here.”

Anna turned so her back faced him. “I thought you said you were going to find your old room.”

“I was. However, when you made it apparent you wouldn’t be joining me, I decided your room would be much more comfortable.” His hands went around her waist, and he held her from behind. His head bent toward her neck, and his warm breath gave her shivers down her spine.

She felt the strong urge to arch her back and lean her head on his shoulder. Before his arms tightened around her, she pushed away from him.

“Are you mad at me because of what I said earlier?” he asked as she put more space between them.

“Not exactly. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here.”

Nicolas reached for her again. “I can show you what to do.”

Anna ducked his grasp. “What are you expecting to happen between us?”

“I expect we’re going to have some really amazing sex in as many rooms in this house as possible.” He walked toward her again.

“I’m leaving,” she said abruptly.

Nicolas stopped in his tracks. “When?”

“I don’t know. A couple days, maybe. A week. I have a life back home I need to get back to.”

“Spend that time with me then,” he said. “We can drive back together when all this is over.”

“I’m no fool, Nicolas. I know myself too well to allow us to go any further than we already have,” she said.

“We’ve already gone pretty far.” He walked up to her again. This time she couldn’t help but back up until he’d trapped her against a wall. “I know you want this,” he whispered. “I can feel it vibrating off you.”

Anna wanted to deny it, but she knew he was right. She wanted him desperately. Only a scant inch separated them, and all she could think about was closing that space.

He leaned his head down and sniffed the hollow of her neck. “I can even smell how much you want me,” he whispered against her skin.

“I’m not stupid enough to believe you’d fall in love with me in only one week, and even if I did fall in love with you, it would be pointless. You would go on forever, but my time is limited.”

He grasped her face between his hands and lifted her face to his. “Who said anything about love?”

Anna couldn’t help but push him away. She hadn’t imagined he had strong feelings for her, but hearing him say it was like a slap in the face. “You need to leave,” she said.

She turned her back on him to walk into the bathroom connected to her room and shut the door behind her.

Once she was safely closed off, she couldn’t stop the tears from flowing. She didn’t even know why she hurt this much. She didn’t love him. She couldn’t love him.

They had only met a week ago, and half of that time she was questioning his motives. Even though his methods were questionable, it was hard to believe that he meant her any harm when he looked her in the eyes and told her how much he wanted her to be safe.

How could she ever leave here knowing she’d never see him again?

She opened the door and looked into her room. She wasn’t sure whether it was relief or sadness that filled her when she saw her room was empty.