Finding Home (12 page)

When Sarah got home, she was tired
and grumpy and all she wanted was to sink into a hot bath and forget about her
whole day.  Colt had been wonderful, but in her face between each and
every inning.  She was certain if he hadn’t had to call two more games
after Evan’s that she would have ended up going home with him; and that scared
her more than just a little. 

Walking into her room, she stopped
and glared at the space under her bed.  That box was screaming at her like
a siren.  For a few minutes, she paced back and forth at the end of the
bed, tugging on her lower lip as she thought about what could be in it. 
Finally, she dropped to her hands and knees and yanked it out and plopped it
down on the bed.  It wasn’t really big; just one of those cardboard boxes
with a lid that reams of computer paper came in, but for the impact it could
have on her life, it felt as big as a football stadium.

Now it sat on her bed, but she still
couldn’t bring herself to open it.  Taking a deep breath, she pulled her
phone from her pocket.  She knew she’d never have the strength to open it
without Colt there with her.

When you’ve finished the last
game, would you mind coming over?  I pulled the box out and I think I’m
ready to open it, but I want you with me.

After pressing send, she sat on her
bed with her knees up and her chin resting on them, just staring at the
box.  She’d been telling Colt that she wasn’t ready to deal with all of
this, but the truth was, she’d suspected something wasn’t quite right about her
adoption ever since she was in high school.  Her parents had never wanted
her to be photographed for anything involving school-related activities. 
They never granted permission for her school pictures to be used in the
yearbooks.  They didn’t allow her to join any clubs or organizations, much
to the frustration of teachers who tried to get her involved in activities at
school.  For a while, she attributed it all to her mother’s extreme
shyness, but as she got older she began to suspect there may be more to it than
that.  Never would she have guessed at something like this, though. 

Her phone rang, drawing her gaze to
it.  She didn’t even try to hide the thrill she felt seeing hit was Colt
calling.

“Hey,” she answered, her voice soft.

“I’m leaving the ballpark,” he told
her.  “Should be there in about fifteen minutes.”

“OK.”

“I know you’re nervous, baby, but…”

He was cut off by Izzy’s frantic
barking.  Sarah sat up straighter, alarmed by the barking.  Izzy
never barked like that.

“Izzy!  What is it?”

Izzy was at the front door, jumping
and barking and growling.

“What is it?” Colt asked and she
could tell he was alarmed by Izzy’s behavior as well.

“I don’t know, she’s going crazy
and…oh, God!  Colt!” she cried, in a hushed tone, “there’s someone at the
window!”

“What?!”

Sarah grabbed Izzy and pulled her
into her bedroom, locking the door behind her and then going into her bathroom.

“Sarah!  Talk to me, what’s
going on?”

“There is a man on my front porch,
trying to lift the window,” she whispered, phone held in the crook of her neck,
both arms around a squirming, still growling Izzy.

“Where are you?”

“In my bathroom.”

“All right, stay there.  Stay on
the line with me.  I’m calling 911 from my work phone.  Just sit
tight, and I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

She heard him speaking to the 911
operator and so she worked at calming Izzy down. 

“Sarah, what’s happening?” he asked,
coming back to her.

“I don’t know.  I’m hoping
Izzy’s barking scared him off.  She’s calming down but she’s still
agitated, still growling.”

“OK, the cops should be there
soon.  I’m about five minutes away now.  Did you get a look at him?”

“Not really.  I saw him through
the crack in the curtains.  His shadow was big, wider than you.  All
I really saw was that he had a few days growth of beard and it was salt and
pepper, and he had on a dark shirt or jacket.  That’s all I could see.”

“That’s better than nothing,” he
said, relaying the information to the 911 operator. 

“I hear the police sirens,” she told
him.  “Should I leave the bathroom now?”

“No, baby, wait for them to ring the
bell or knock on the door, OK?  I’m almost there.”

“All right, I –“ the doorbell
rang. 

“I heard it.  Stay on with me,
but take Izzy with you, just in case.”

“OK, Colt,” she said, grabbing Izzy’s
collar and walking into her living room.  She peeked through her spyhole
and saw that it was indeed the police.

“It’s the police,” she told him.

“All right, go ahead and
answer.  I’m turning down your street.  See you in a minute.”

When Colt got there, a cruiser was
sitting at the curb, lights still flashing, and Sarah was standing in her
living room talking with two officers.  He rushed up the steps and reached
for the door, only to be blocked by one of the officers.

“It’s OK,” Sarah told the officer,
“he’s my boyfriend.”

He was allowed to pass and he went
straight to her side, giving her a quick embrace. 

“Are you all right?” he asked,
stroking her hair.

She nodded.  “I’m fine.”

He turned to the policemen and
introduced himself, shaking their hands.  “Did you find anything?”

“There was a black van coming the
opposite direction from us when we got here.  Miss Sauter was saying she’d
noticed it parked across the street when she got home, but that’s not unusual
for this neighborhood.  We have another unit looking for it, and we’ll
start knocking on doors when we finish up here,” one officer said.

After they left, Colt gathered her
into his arms, holding her tight, in an effort to comfort himself as well as
her. 

“Pack a bag.  Enough to last a
few days.  I don’t want you staying here,” he told her.

She nodded.  “We have to bring
Izzy.”

He chuckled.  “Yeah, OK. 
Scout will love having a playmate.”

She stepped away from him.  “And
get the box on my bed.”

He followed her into her room. 
“Is this
the
box?”

“Yes.  We’ll open it when we get
to your house.”

He watched as she packed a couple of
bags and then stopped her when she said she was done.  He cupped her face
in his hands and tilted her head up to place his lips against hers.

“I’ve missed you, baby,” he murmured
against her lips. 

“I missed you, too,” she admitted.

“I’m sorry I pushed you into all of
this before you were ready.”

“Like you said, this would come out
sooner or later, whether because I changed jobs or tried to get a passport, or
got married.  Sooner or later, I would need to get in there and get my
birth certificate.”

He nodded and picked her bags up and
then got the box.  It was surprisingly light; he’d been expecting it to be
a bit heavier. 

“Do you want to follow me or just
leave your truck?”

“I’ll follow you,” she said.

“OK.  Where’s Izzy’s food and
stuff and I’ll load that up, too.”

She told him where to find it all and
then put Izzy on a leash, grabbing a couple of her toys and tennis balls as
they walked out to her truck.  Izzy was excited to be taking a ride and
went eagerly into Sarah’s SUV.  She saw that Colt was already in his truck
and on his phone so she got in hers and started it up, following him when he
backed out of her driveway. 

She picked up her own phone and
called Janine, wanting to let her know what had happened and that she’d be gone
for a few days.  Understandably, Janine was freaked that someone had tried
to rob a house in their neighborhood, even more so that it was Sarah’s, with
Sarah at home at the time.  She assured Janine that she was fine, that the
police had arrived quickly and that Colt was taking care of her.

That led to a whole other round of
questions about how had she made up with him and how long she was planning on
staying with him.  Sarah hedged because she wasn’t one hundred percent
sure they had made up or how long she would be staying.  All she knew was
that she wanted him with her when she opened that stupid box, and that she
didn’t quite feel safe until she saw him at her door earlier.

When they got to his house, he opened
his garage door and motioned to her to park in the empty space next to his. 
She watched him unload her stuff from his truck as she led Izzy out of
hers.  On the other side of the door leading into his house, she could
hear his dog, Scout, barking and scratching at the door, which got Izzy riled
up.  She held firm to Izzy’s leash as Colt opened the door and Scout
bounded out.  Colt grabbed Scout’s collar and led the dogs out into the
backyard to get acquainted.

“You OK, babe?” he asked, stroking
his hand over her hair.

She nodded.  “I’m fine.”

He studied her a moment then carried
her things into the living room, putting the box down on the sectional. 

“I need to grab a shower,” he told
her, “just get comfy, I won’t be long.”

“OK.  Colt?” she said, stopping
him when he started to walk away.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for coming.”

He winked at her.  “No place I’d
rather be.  Back in a few.”

She watched him go, then sank down on
the sectional and tried not to think too much about anything: being here with
him, what happened that evening, what could be in that stupid box…she tried to
block it all out.  Wasn’t working too well at this point, however. 
What she really wanted was to get up and go jump in the shower with him, but
after all that had gone on, she wasn’t sure she was ready to make that leap
with him again just yet.

He walked in, still smoothing his
T-Shirt down, giving her an enticing view of his washboard abs and that yummy
line of hair disappearing into the waist of his athletic shorts.  He was
barefoot and so mouthwateringly gorgeous she had to look away from him to keep
from making a complete idiot of herself.  Unfortunately, when she did, her
gaze fell on the box.  Colt must have noticed her staring at it because he
leaned down and placed a quick kiss to her forehead.

“You want a drink?  Beer? 
Rum and Coke?”

She shook her head.  “I’m good,
but thanks.”

He sat across from her, the box
between them.  “You ready to do this?”

“No,” she admitted. 

“What are you afraid you’ll find?”

“Oh, I don’t know.  That my
whole life has been a lie?  That my parents weren’t who I thought they
were.”

He nodded.  “I understand. 
But, babe, answer this for me.  Did your parents love you?”

“Yes,” she answered, her voice small.

“I know you said that you knew they
loved you but that they loved each other more.  Did you ever feel
neglected?”

“No.”

“Did you ever resent them because you
weren’t allowed to do things, school activities, sports, things like that?”

She sighed.  “Nothing more than
the usual teenage resentments.”

“Then, whatever you find or don’t
find in that box won’t change the fact that you had two people in your life who
loved you and took care of you as best they could.  OK?”

She wiped a tear from her
cheek.  “Yeah.  OK.”  She reached for the box lid, smoothed her
hand over it, then sat back.  “I can’t,” she said, her voice barely above
a whisper.

“Want me to open it?”  When she
nodded, he pulled the lid off then sat back when she sat up to look inside.

On the top was an envelope with her
mother’s handwriting that read:
Sarah: open this first.

Taking a deep breath, she pulled the
envelope out and carefully broke the seal to remove the pages within.

           
“Dear
Sarah,”
 she read aloud, “
There’s so much to tell you and I hate to
write it all in a letter and break it to you this way, but I just can’t bring
myself to have this conversation with you in person.  I received word from
Dr. Thomas that my cancer has spread and I’ve got just a few months left. I
know it’s selfish of me, but I want to spend my last days on this earth knowing
that I still have my baby girl’s love.  Once you hear what we did, I’m
sure you will hate us forever.  I just want you to know that we never
meant to hurt you and your Daddy and I love you very much and that we’ve loved
you from the day we met you.

You’ve always known that you
aren’t biologically ours.  We told you we adopted you when you were just
three months old and that is pretty much the truth…except that we never legally
adopted you.” 
Sarah
stopped then, dropping the letter and covering her mouth with both hands, tears
shaking her entire body.  “Oh, God, Colt!” she cried when he rushed over
to her and pulled her into his arms.