Finding June (26 page)

Nothing big had changed by the next morning.
Joseph still didn’t pick me up for seminary, I still felt horrible,
and Gran still had to drive me to set to face the now-undesirable
Lukas Leighton. The only thing that had changed was my resolve to
prove to Joseph that I was sorry and I really did love him back. It
was an odd revelation to me, but after I had admitted it to myself,
it made so much sense.

Of course I loved Joseph. How could I not? He
knew me better than anyone else and he loved me even though I was
irrational, paranoid, and a complete stress case on the best of
days. He loved me for who I was and I loved him back, even if it
did take me slightly longer than him to realize it.

I knew I could possibly get Joseph to respond
to my texts and voicemails if I told him I loved him, but it hardly
seemed romantic to tell someone that over the phone. That was
something Lukas Leighton would do . . . and he wouldn’t mean it. He
would just say it so that he could sleep with you.

Jerk.

I was shaking the entire time I waited for
Lukas to come to set, but when he finally did show up, his behavior
threw me off more than I had imagined it would. He wasn’t cold
toward me, but he also wasn’t his usual suave, flirty self.
Instead, he acted like we were strangers meeting for the first
time. He was congenial and only spoke to me when he needed to. Even
though he was the world’s biggest scumbag, I had to admit that he
was a good actor.

Sitting in the makeup trailer right before
lunch, I stared at myself in the mirror. I looked about the same as
I always had (maybe a bit more tired and stressed) but somehow I
felt more grown up. It was as if realizing how poorly I’d treated
Joseph all these years, while also turning down Hollywood’s biggest
heartthrob (ha!) had forced me to mature and take matters into my
own hands.

Candice was busy pulling peacock feathers out
of my hair from the scene I had just shot, while Benjamin texted
away madly on his phone, occasionally asking Candice to marry him.
Ryan, however, kept his gaze fixed on me. It felt almost as if he
were trying to figure out what I was thinking just by staring long
enough.

“New Girl, did you sleep with Leighton?”
Benjamin blurted from the couch in the makeup trailer. Candice
stopped pulling feathers from my hair and watched my reflection in
the mirror while Ryan straightened up, suddenly tense.

“Why do you ask?” I responded, keeping my
voice neutral. Even though I didn’t really want to relive that
nightmare, I was pretty excited to tell them how I had shut Lukas
down.

“Today on set he treated you like he treats
all of his ‘morning after’ companions,” Benjamin said bluntly.
“There’s only one reason for that.”

“Oh my gosh, June, if you seriously slept
with that tool, I’ll go jump off a cliff right now,” Candice
threatened, putting one hand on her hip and giving me her best
four-foot-nothing-in-heels stare down.

“There’s actually not only
one
reason
Lukas might treat me that way,” I said knowingly, trying to hide my
grin but failing miserably.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Ryan said,
looking like he meant it.

“Oh, come on you guys. Do you really think I
would sleep with him?” I asked, slightly indignant that they really
thought me capable of that.

“Stranger things have happened when young
star struck girls come into the presence of the great Lukas
Leighton,” Benjamin said with disgust. Candice made a gagging sound
behind me, her crimson lips forming a large "O."

“Actually, what happened between us last
night was much better than that,” I confessed, happy to have the
perfect audience for my "turning down Lukas" story.

“I don’t think I want to hear this,” Ryan
exclaimed, pretending to cover his ears.

“So, last night, Lukas brought me home in his
car,” I began.

“Car,” Candice and Benjamin said
together.

“That’s the first sign,” Ryan added.

“He pulled over and played some soft music,”
I went on, trying to drag this wonderful story out as long as I
could. “We kissed for a while and I was thinking life was pretty
good.”

“Please stop,” Candice said.

“And then Lukas decided he was going to be a
little hands-y,” I continued.

“No seriously. Stop,” Ryan pleaded.

“And so I told him that he was disgusting,
and an idiot, and that I wouldn’t sleep with him if he was the last
person on earth . . . It was pretty romantic,” I finished grandly,
still wearing my look of faux bliss.

“Wait, back up. You told him what?” Benjamin
asked, his face the perfect mask of confusion.

“Oh, and I slammed the door in his face,” I
added, proud that I had found the three (out of four) people who
hated Lukas most in this world to share this experience with.

“That’s the most fantastic thing I’ve ever
heard,” Ryan admitted in admiration.

“Okay. I will officially let you call me your
friend now,” Candice said. “Oh, I would pay such big money to see
the look on his face when you told him no!”

“I think I underestimated you, New Girl,”
Benjamin said with a nod. “Ryan, it’s like our little baby is all
grown up.”

“And off ridding the world of guys who give
us all a bad name,” Ryan added, pretending to dab at fake tears in
his eyes.

“I’m not going to lie . . . it felt pretty
good,” I confessed.

“It probably felt like the most epic thing
ever because it was,” Candice said happily clapping her hands,
having taken the last of the peacock feathers from my hair.

“Ryan, go get the girl a cookie or something.
She deserves it,” Benjamin ordered. Ryan instantly jumped to his
feet to oblige.

“Here, I’ll come with you actually,” I said
following him out of the trailer. “I need to get up and walk
around. I feel so energetic right now.”

“The bold new June,” Ryan remarked as we
walked past sound stages toward the lunchroom. “Any other new
developments I should know about?”

“Well . . . there is one thing,” I began,
wondering if I could use Ryan as my sounding board for the whole
Joseph fiasco.

“Shoot,” he said, indicating that I should
continue.

“Do you remember me talking about
Joseph?”

“He’s the one you’ve known since before you
were born, pretty much, right?” Ryan asked as we passed a bunch of
nuns (or at least actors dressed up as nuns) in Tiffany blue
habits.

“Yeah, that’s him. Well . . . I accidentally
blew him off for Lukas a few days ago on a pretty big day and he
sort of got really mad at me and told me that he loves me but never
wants to speak to me again because he’s loved me for so long and I
don’t love him back and it’s just getting too hard for him to deal
with it anymore,” I said all in one breath.

“Wow,” Ryan answered with wide eyes. “That
sounds . . . complicated.”

“It is,” I mumbled miserably.

“So, what are you going to do about it? Do
you still just want to be friends with him, or . . . ” he trailed
off, letting his question hang unfinished in the air.

“That’s the thing. I think I’ve never wanted
to admit that I really like Joseph because we’ve been good friends
for so long and I didn’t want to ruin that. But after hearing him
say he loves me it made me . . . less scared. Does that make
sense?”

“Yeah, it does. I think it’s easier to know
how you feel about someone once you know how they feel about you.
It’s not as risky,” Ryan said wisely.

“I think you’re right,” I conceded. “I think
I always felt something for him, but assuming that he just thought
of me as a friend made me want to put up my defenses against my
feelings so I wouldn’t get hurt.”

“So, are you going to go for it, then?” Ryan
asked, stopping in his tracks and facing me, his blue eyes gazing
at me intently.

“If I can get him to listen to me, I will,” I
said, sighing deeply at just how complicated everything had become
recently.

“Well, he sounds like a good guy, so I hope
it all works out.”

“Thanks Ryan,” I said sincerely, glad to have
him to talk to after feeling so alone the past few days.

“I have to admit, I was kind of hoping that
with Lukas finally showing you his true colors you’d be . . . I
don’t know . . . available,” Ryan said, looking at me meaningfully.
“You’re just so wholesome and kind. That’s sort of hard to find in
this industry sometimes. Or in this city, for that matter.”

I swear, there had to be something in the
water because a few months ago, a boy had never so much as glanced
twice at me (except for Joseph) and now they were coming at me from
all angles. It was flattering, but making my life very weird at the
same time.

Hearing Ryan say he’d hoped we’d have a shot
together was an unexpected surprise. Of all of the crazy things
that had been happening lately, Ryan was definitely the most mature
and stable guy I had known through all of this, and he seemed to be
sweet like Joseph, though a little old for me at the moment. Funny
how big an age gap can seem when you’re both younger. If I had been
twenty-one and he was twenty-five, it wouldn’t seem like a deal.
But as it was, sixteen and twenty just didn’t work out too
well.

“You’re an incredibly nice guy,” I remarked
honestly. “And if you told me you wanted to be with me in a few
years, I’d marry you on the spot,” I said with a giggle, pulling
him into a hug. He hugged me back tightly for a moment before
pulling away.

“I guess I’ll have to either get the time
machine from studio D or get your number and track you down in a
few years, then,” he said with a good-natured laugh.

“Deal,” I agreed happily as we resumed our
walk to the lunchroom, arm in arm.

*****

The next day we only had a half-day of
shooting due to a small cast "party" where we'd watch the episode
we had just made. It wasn’t much of a party. It was more like a
small table of food in a tiny theatre where we’d be watching the
final cut of the episode with a small handful of the cast. We were
allowed to bring someone along if we wanted, but I didn’t have
anyone to bring so I just showed up and sat next to Candice,
Benjamin, and Ryan.

“So, what’s this I hear about you completely
shooting Ryan down when he tried to confess his love for you?”
Benjamin asked, never one to be subtle or tactful.

“I did
not
say that,” Ryan cut in
defensively.

“The way I heard it, you took his engagement
ring and threw it back in his face,” Candice said, in a rare moment
of joining in with the joking.

“June, I swear, all I said was I may have
mentioned thinking you were a nice person and we decided I was too
old for you,” Ryan said evenly, his cheeks turning an adorable
shade of red.

“It’s okay, Ryan, you can tell them what
really happened,” I said, causing Benjamin and Candice to look at
me with sudden interest.

“What really happened?” Benjamin asked,
obviously feeling that he had been left out of some juicy bit of
gossip.

“Ryan and I went to Vegas after work
yesterday and eloped, but then my grandma found out and got mad. So
we got an annulment,” I said matter-of-factly.

“She got the kids and I got the summer home,”
Ryan added, giving me a secretive wink.

“I hate you guys,” Candice said
affectionately.

“No, I think that’s just residual hate you’re
feeling from what just walked in,” Benjamin stated with a look of
disdain on his face. We followed his gaze to the door and saw Lukas
standing there smugly with a girl on his arm. She had bleached
blonde hair, something that would almost pass for a dress if it had
a bit more material, and a few spare parts that were definitely not
God-given.

“Words can’t describe how much I hate that
guy,” Candice muttered darkly.

“That’s okay. I can use the words if you
won’t,” Benjamin said helpfully.

Lukas looked over at me for a moment and
raised an eyebrow quizzically. I couldn’t quite understand what
that facial expression was supposed to mean, so I just gave him a
polite smile in return and turned back to my friends.

“He’s such a tool,” Ryan growled angrily,
catching the less-than-kind look Lukas had just given me.

“Wow, the claws are really coming out, aren’t
they, Ryan?” Benjamin joked, impressed by his friend’s anger on my
behalf.

“I just don’t understand how he can be such a
jerk,” Ryan said, his brow furrowed in frustration.

“That’s because you’re nice, so you can’t
think like him,” I answered, nudging Ryan with my shoulder and
trying not to look over at Lukas and his ostentatious new toy.

“Why are we still talking about him?” Candice
asked, her voice threatening to fall back into its normal dry
monotone.

“We’re not. Benjamin and I were just about to
ask if you girls wanted something to drink,” Ryan said, having
cooled down.

“Is this what we’ve been reduced to, Ryan?
Getting drinks for extras and
the vanities
?” Benjamin said,
shooting a look at Candice.

“If you call my department ‘the vanities’ one
more time, I swear I’ll kill you and make it look like an
accident,” Candice said in an off-puttingly sweet voice, winking at
Benjamin as she did so.

“Soda it is,” he answered, grabbing Ryan by
the elbow and pulling him away as quickly as possible.

“Okay, now that they’re gone, I wanted to
talk to you,” Candice said, suddenly becoming serious and turning
toward me with interest. “Ryan told me about the whole Joseph
thing.”

I wasn’t quite sure what was happening, but
it almost seemed like Candice wanted to talk about boys with me. I
tried to search my mind for a scenario where this made sense and
didn’t completely throw me off, but I couldn’t seem to find
one.

“Really?” was all I could manage to say in my
shocked state.