Finding Perfect (9 page)

“But?”

Montana sucked in a breath. “I just don't want to.” She held up a hand. “I know, I know. What am I thinking? This is a great opportunity. They'd want me to go back and get my master's in library science, and they'd even help pay. I love living in Fool's Gold. Now I'd have job security.”

“But?” Pia asked again.

“It's not what I want to do,” Montana admitted in a small voice. “I don't love working at the library. I mean, I like it. Books are great, and I like helping people and I enjoy working with the kids. But full-time? Every day for eight hours?”

She leaned her arms on the desk and slumped in her seat. “Why can't I be like everyone else? Why can't I know what I want to do with my life?”

“I thought you liked the library. You were really excited to help set up Liz's book signing last summer.”

“That was fun. I just…” She motioned to Pia's office. “You knew what you wanted to do.”

“No.” Pia remembered trying to pick a major in college. “I didn't have a clue. I went with business because it seemed to give me a lot of options. I started in this job as an assistant, then I found out I liked it. I was lucky. This wasn't a plan.”

“I need to get lucky,” Montana muttered, then grinned. “I was going to say ‘not in a boy-girl way,' but that would be fun, too.” Her smile faded. “I feel so stupid.”

“Why? You're not. You're smart and funny.”

Montana lowered her voice. “I think I might be flaky.”

Pia did her best not to smile. “You're anything but.”

“I can't pick a career. I'm twenty-seven and I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Shouldn't I already be grown up? Isn't the future
now?
”

“You sound like a poster. This isn't about the future. This is about making yourself happy. There's nothing wrong with trying different careers until you find one you like. You're supporting yourself. It's not like you're living with your mom and watching TV all day. It's okay to explore the possibilities.”

“Maybe,” Montana said. “I never meant not to know what I wanted to do.”

“Better to keep trying until you find something that makes you happy rather than choose something now and hate your job for the next twenty years.”

Montana smiled. “You make it sound so easy.”

“Fixing someone else's life isn't hard. The one I have trouble with is my own.”

Montana raised her eyebrows. “Does any of this trouble have to do with a certain tall, very muscled ex-football player?”

Pia warned herself not to blush. “No. Why do you ask?”

“You had lunch with him.”

“It was a business lunch.”

“It didn't look like a business lunch,” Montana told her.

Small-town life, Pia reminded herself. “How do you know? Did you see it for yourself?”

“I got the play-by-play from three different people.” Montana leaned toward her. “One of them claimed there was a kiss, but I can't get confirmation on that.”

Pia sighed. “I swear, we need more channels on cable around here. People are starved for entertainment.”

“So there's nothing going on with you and Raoul?” Montana asked, looking disappointed.

Pia hesitated.

“There is!” her friend crowed.

“Don't get too excited. It's not what you think. It's not romantic.” How could it be? Her soon-to-be pregnancy would scare off any sane man and most of the ones only flirting with sanity.

Pia drew in a breath. “Crystal left me her embryos.”

Montana's eyes widened. “I thought you had her cat.”

“I did, until I found out about her will. Jo got the cat.”

“And you have her babies? That is amazing.” Montana
blinked. “Oh my God! You have her babies. You have to decide what to do with them. Did she leave you any instructions?”

“Not specifically. I know that having them is sort of implied in the bequest. It's not like she wants them frozen forever. She left money to help cover some of the medical expenses and to start a college fund.”

“You're going to have them?”

Pia nodded slowly. Reality hadn't completely sunk in, and she was okay with that. Accepting that kind of truth
should
take a little time.

Montana jumped up and ran around the table, then bent down and hugged Pia. “I can't believe it. This is so amazing. You're going to have Crystal's babies.”

She dropped to a crouch and stared at her friend. “Are you terrified?”

“Mostly. There's a lot of confusion and worry to go with it, as well. Why on earth did she pick me? There are a lot of other people here who have more ‘mom' potential.”

Montana straightened and returned to her seat. “That's not true. Of course you're the one she wanted to have her babies.”

“You say that like this all makes sense.”

Montana looked confused. “How doesn't it?”

“I don't know anything about having a baby or raising one. Or possibly three. She didn't talk to me ahead of time, warn me. I was supposed to get the cat. It turns out he never really liked me, so that's probably for the best, but still…” Pia bit her lower lip. “Why did Crystal pick me?”

“Because she loved and trusted you. Because she knew you'd make the right decisions.”

“She can't know that. I sure don't know that. What if something bad happens? What if the embryos hate me as much as Jake did?”

“They're not in a position to make a judgment call.”

“Okay, not now, but they will be. After they're born.”

“Babies are hardwired to bond. That's what they do. They'll bond with you because you're wonderful. But even if you weren't, they'd still bond with you.”

“I'd feel better if they liked me for me and not just because of biology.”

“That's going to happen, too,” Montana assured her. “You'll be a great mom.”

“How do you know?” Pia asked, feeling both worried and desperate. “I don't come from a happy gene pool. My boyfriends always leave. Even the cat didn't want to live with me. What do I have to offer to a baby?”

“Your heart,” Montana said simply. “Pia, you'll do everything in your power to take care of those kids. You'll sacrifice and worry and be there when they need you. It's who you are.”

“The whole single-mom thing scares me,” she admitted.

“You might be single, but you won't be alone,” Montana reminded her. “This is Fool's Gold. You'll be taken care of by the town. You'll have all the help and advice you need. Speaking of which, if I can do anything, please let me know.”

“I will.”

Pia knew that Montana was right about the town. If she needed help, she only had to ask. Then there was Raoul's strange “pregnancy buddy” offer. She wasn't
sure exactly what he was putting on the table, but it was nice that he was willing to be there.

“I just wish Crystal had talked to me before she died. Explained what she wanted.”

“Would you have told her no?” Montana asked.

Pia considered the question. “I probably would have tried to talk her out of it, but in the end, if this was what she really wanted, I would have agreed. But at least I would have had the chance to find out why.”

“You really can't figure that out? You're genuinely confused as to why Crystal left you her embryos?”

“Yes. Aren't you?”

Montana smiled at her. “No. Not in the least. I guess that's what you're going to have to come to terms with. And when you do, you'll know why you were exactly the right person for her to pick.”

D
R
. C
ECILIA
G
ALLOWAY WAS
a tall, large-boned, no-nonsense kind of person who had gone to medical school back when women were expected to be homemakers or secretaries. She believed an informed patient was a happy patient, and that until a man experienced mood swings and menstrual cramps, he was in no position to say whether or not they were in a patient's head.

A mother of one of Pia's friends had gently suggested Pia consider visiting a gynecologist before starting college. Pia hadn't imagined ever having sex, but she'd taken the advice and gone in for her first pelvic exam.

Dr. Galloway had made the experience more interesting than scary, explaining the details of Pia's reproductive system in language the teen could understand. She'd also offered blunt advice about fumbling boys and their lack of expertise. She'd told Pia how to find her clitoris and G-spot and suggested she tell the boy in question to spend some quality time with both before having his way with her.

Now, a decade later, Pia sat in Dr. Galloway's office. She had a meager list of questions, which had made her realize she didn't know enough to know what to ask. Rather than hit the Internet and get a lot of half-truths, she'd come to the source of all knowledge.

At a few minutes after ten, Dr. Galloway walked into
her office. She wore a white coat over casual knits. Her steel-gray hair was cut short. She didn't bother with makeup, but her steady blue eyes were warm behind her sensible glasses.

“Pia,” the doctor said with a smile as she crossed the spacious room and settled next to Pia, rather than sitting across from her on the other side of the big wood desk. “I was a little surprised when I saw you were coming in today.”

When Pia had made the appointment, she'd said she needed to talk to the doctor before being examined and had explained why.

Now, Dr. Galloway put down the folder she held and studied her. “You're young and healthy. Are you sure about this? It's an extreme measure at this time in your life. Wouldn't you rather wait and be in a relationship? Or even if you don't want to be involved with the father, we can look at artificial insemination rather than IVF.”

It took Pia a second to realize the problem. “I'm not trying to get pregnant,” she said with a shake of her head. “Okay, I
am
trying to get pregnant, but it's not what you think.”

Dr. Galloway leaned back in her chair. “What shouldn't I think?”

“Crystal Westland left me her embryos.”

The older woman's expression softened. “Did she? I wondered what Crystal would do. Poor child, to have suffered so much. It's a loss for all of us.” She drew in a breath. “So you want to have Crystal's babies, do you?”

Want was kind of a strong word, Pia thought. She'd
accepted the shift in her life path and was dealing. Maybe
want
would come later.

“I'm going to have them,” Pia said firmly, holding in the need to wince at the words. “What's the next step?”

Dr. Galloway considered her for a moment. “We do an examination to make sure you're healthy. Draw a little blood, that sort of thing.”

She got up and walked around to the other side of her desk. After sitting, she pulled out a pad of paper and started making notes. “How many embryos are there?”

“Three.”

“You'll have them all implanted at once?”

“I don't know. Should I?”

“It's probably for the best.” The doctor raised her head. “The process is very simple. The embryos thaw naturally until they come to room temperature. They're put through several solutions to wash away any lingering cryoprotectant that was used during the freezing. Then they're warmed to body temperature and implanted. I can do that. It's a simple procedure, relatively painless.”

She pulled several brochures out of a drawer. “Then you lie on the examination table for a few minutes, giving the embryos time to settle. Two weeks later, we test you to see if you're pregnant.”

That didn't sound so bad, Pia thought. “Will I have to take any drugs? The guy at the lab talked about preparing my body.”

“It depends. We'll monitor your cycle with a series of ultrasounds. When you're ready, in they go.” Dr. Gallo
way leaned toward her. “It is possible not all the embryos will have survived the freezing process.”

Pia hadn't realized that. “We'll know when they're thawed?”

“Yes, they're checked before they're implanted.”

The doctor passed her several brochures. “You can read these over. They give more details about what will happen. Implantation is safe and quick. There's no reason to think this will be anything but a normal pregnancy.”

Pia opened her mouth, then closed it. She glanced down at her hands, then back at the doctor. “What if I did something bad?”

Dr. Galloway shook her head. “There is nothing immoral in having Crystal's children, Pia. It is an act of love.”

“I don't mean that. I mean…” She swallowed. “When I was in college, I had a boyfriend. I got pregnant.”

“You had an abortion.” Dr. Galloway sighed. “It happens all the time and has no impact on—”

“No,” she said quickly. “I didn't. I was so scared, I couldn't believe it was really happening. There was no way the guy I was seeing would marry me, assuming I'd wanted that, which I didn't. I kept wishing the baby would go away. One morning I woke up and I was bleeding. I got my period.”

She felt the wave of guilt, the shame that washed through her. “I wished my unborn child would die and it did.”

The doctor rose and pulled Pia to her feet, then held her hands tightly.

“No,” she said in a firm voice. “You don't have that much power, Pia. None of us do. A significant percentage
of pregnancies end spontaneously. It is impossible to predict exactly when it will happen or even know why. Something went wrong inside the embryo. That is why you lost the baby. Not because you wished it so.”

Tears filled Pia's eyes. “I prayed so hard.”

“God didn't answer your prayer, child. Have you felt bad all this time?”

She nodded, then swallowed. “I don't deserve to have Crystal's babies. I'm a bad person.”

“A bad person wouldn't care. You are young and healthy and you will be an amazing mother. Come on. We'll do the exam. We'll rule out any specific physical problems. Then you can decide. As for the child you lost, it's time to let him or her go.”

Pia knew in her head that the other woman was right, but in her heart and her gut, the guilt lived on.

 

A
N HOUR LATER
, P
IA DRESSED.
She'd been poked, prodded and gone through her first ultrasound.

“Everything is fine,” Dr. Galloway told her when Pia returned to her office. “You are ready. Based on when you last had your period, you're within five or six days of peak thickness in your uterine lining. So within the week if you want to go ahead this month.”

“That fast,” Pia said, hanging on to the back of the chair.

“You can wait for as long as you want.”

Medically, yes, but if she waited, she might chicken out.

“How is your insurance?” Dr. Galloway asked. “You might want to check out how much it will cover.”

“I'm with the city plan.” The pregnancy itself would be covered. “Crystal left money to cover the
implantation.” There was also some money in trust for each of the children and a small annuity to help Pia with monthly expenses.

“Then the choice is yours.” Dr. Galloway studied her. “Let the past go, child. It's time to think about the future. Whenever you're ready, I'll be here to help.”

“Should I do anything special as far as food or vitamins?”

The doctor shook her head. “We've done a blood draw. I'll have the results in a few days. You'll go on prenatal vitamins then, along with any additional supplements you might need. For now, relax.” The older woman smiled. “No, I take that back. Go find a good-looking man and have sex.”

Pia felt herself flush. “Is that medical advice?”

Dr. Galloway laughed. “Yes. You're going to be pregnant with triplets, Pia. Your body won't be your own for much longer. Enjoy it while you can. Is there anyone special in your life?”

She immediately thought of Raoul—her hunky pregnancy buddy. “Not really. I'm not dating.”

“My advice stands. Just make sure you take precautions. Then when you're ready, we'll take the next steps.” She rose and walked around her desk. “You're doing an extraordinary thing, Pia. I'm so proud of you.”

Pia thanked her and left. Information swirled around in her head. She was pleased that the implantation could happen relatively easily, and she appreciated Dr. Galloway's attempts to reassure her about what had happened in the past. Pia knew logically that she wasn't to blame for the loss of the baby she'd carried before, but she couldn't help feeling that being terrified rather than
happy had been wrong. And that she would be punished later.

Which meant what? Did she give in to the fear and not have Crystal's children? That didn't seem right, either. If she went forward with this, she was going to have to take a leap of faith. On her part, she would do everything right. Take the best care of herself, live perfectly. It would be up to the babies to take care of the rest. A reasonable plan, she told herself. A rational response.

But she couldn't help but wonder if Crystal would have left her the embryos if she'd known the truth.

 

P
IA HAD BARELY BEEN BACK
in her office five minutes when Marsha called.

“They're here,” the mayor said, sounding desperate. “I knew they were coming, but still.”

“Who's here?”

“Reporters. They're everywhere. I need you to come to City Hall and dazzle them.”

“Is this where I tell you I don't feel especially dazzling?”

“No, it isn't. We're desperate. Charity is going to take questions, as well. I need young, confident and sexy. Anything that doesn't scream pitiful spinster.”

Despite everything that had happened that morning, Pia burst out laughing. “I don't think we use the ‘S' word in this century, Marsha.”

“They're going to use it. Count on it. You'll come?”

“I'll be there. Give me fifteen minutes.”

“Make it twelve.”

 

P
IA MADE IT TO
C
ITY
H
ALL
in ten minutes, only to find that the mayor wasn't kidding. There were several news vans parked along the street, with reporters setting up for outdoor shots. It was a perfect fall day—crisp without being too cold, blue sky, the changing leaves adding bursts of red and yellow.

She could see Charity talking to two reporters at once, and a crowd of residents starting to gather. Sucking in a deep breath and reminding herself to speak in coherent sound bites, she stepped toward the cluster of reporters.

“Hello,” she said as she approached. “I'm Pia O'Brian. I work for the city. Mayor Tilson asked me to come by and see if you have any questions.”

Immediately three cameras focused on her. Bright, blinding lights clicked on. Pia did her best not to blink like a mole in the sun.

“What's your name?” one guy asked. “Can you spell it?”

She didn't think Pia was a tough one, but she did as he requested.

“What's with the man shortage?” a young male reporter asked. “How are you driving them away?”

“Is it a sex thing?” another man asked. “The women in town not putting out?”

The assumption being they
must
be doing something wrong, Pia thought, but she did her best not to let her irritation show.

“Demographically, we're not as balanced as other communities,” she said calmly. “There are fewer males born per one hundred births than in other places. As the father determines the gender of the child, you'll
have to speak to the men in town to get your question answered.”

The youngest of the three reporters around her blinked, as if he couldn't remember what he'd asked. All the better for her, she thought.

“Fool's Gold is a family community,” she continued. “We have an excellent school system, a low crime rate and are a popular tourist destination. Businesses thrive here. We've recently signed a contract that brings a second hospital to the area. This one will include a trauma center, something this part of the state needs.”

“Are the women in town excited about the man invasion?” the second reporter asked. “Maybe some of you will get lucky.”

“Oh, joy,” Pia murmured, knowing slapping someone when on camera was never a good idea. “Tourists are always welcome.”

“We've heard there are busloads of men coming this way. From all over the country.”

That couldn't be good. Busloads? What were they supposed to do with them? The kind of men who could drop everything, hop on a bus and travel to a place they'd never seen with the hopes of finding women didn't sound especially stable. Or community oriented. If this was true, it was a nightmare in the making.

“Lucky us,” she said. “Fool's Gold is always ready to make visitors feel at home. Families especially.”

“But you're short on men,” the older of the three said. “So you'll be personally interested in the guys coming. You can't get a date, right?”

Pia raised her eyebrows, fighting a sudden flash of temper. “Do I look like I can't get a date? Is that what you're implying? That we should be
grateful
for anyone
who comes here and gives us the slightest hint of affection? Do you really think we're desperate and—”

“There you are,” a smooth male voice said, as a hand slid against the small of her back.

She turned and saw Raoul had joined her.