Finding the Way Back (Book 1 in the Forgiving Hearts Trilogy) (20 page)

He made a deprecating movement with his hand. “Nothing I’ve done or ever will do compares to you forgiving me.”

Laurel glanced at him quickly and then shifted her gaze to her lap. “I spent a year believing I’d never want to be close to you again. Once I forgave you, my opinion began to change. Feelings I thought were dead started to reawaken. I think that’s why I responded that way earlier when you tried to help with my skirt. Physically, I react to you; emotionally, I’m still resisting. In spite of the progress we’ve made, I have some lingering doubts.” Her eyes slowly rose to meet his. “I’m afraid that you’ll be thinking of her when you’re with me or comparing me to her. I know it probably sounds silly to you, but this is very real to me.”

Reaching across the seat, Colton clasped her hand. “It’s not silly at all. This is what I need to hear so we can talk about things and hopefully eliminate your concerns. First of all, I love you, Laurel. You’re the one I want to be with for the rest of my life. I feel nothing but revulsion for what happened with Leslie. There isn’t anything about that period of time in my life that I want to remember. The only good that came out of it was rediscovering God. Along the way, He showed me how far my love for you fell short of His standards. I’m commanded to love you as Christ loved the Church. That’s what I’ve spent the last year trying to do.”

Laurel looked down at their linked hands. “You’ve done more than try, Colton. You’re succeeding. You haven’t merely thrown words at me; your actions have shown me that I can trust you. I just have to let myself do it instead of putting up roadblocks.”

He rubbed his thumb back and forth over the top of her hand. “I have an idea how we can help you do that. What would you say to the idea of us dating?”

“Dating? Hmm. That could be interesting. Think of all the things we would get to do again.”

“Like our first kiss?” he asked with a grin.

Laurel looked away from the amusement in his eyes. “That would be hard to improve on.”

“There’s a thought to keep me awake all night. When can I see you for our first official date?”

“I’m free tomorrow night.”

His smile was infectious. “I like your enthusiasm. Is six-thirty too early?”

“That’s fine.”

He gently squeezed her hand before letting her go. “I’m looking forward to getting to know you better, Mrs. Samuels.”

“Me, too. Goodnight, Colton.”

Chapter Twelve

The restaurant Colton chose was located in the heart of the historic district. After giving their order to the waiter, he turned back to her.

“You always look beautiful, Laurel, but when you wear blue, you have no equal.”

She ran her fingers through her hair self-consciously.
Why was she so embarrassed by his comments? His eyes were telling her the same thing.
“Taryn got a late start. She won’t get home until after seven.”

“A change of subject! Does that mean it’s too early in the date for compliments?”

“You haven’t changed your methods. You started off this way before.”

“I’ll have to try something different. We don’t want this to be predictable. So, what delayed Taryn? Did she break a fingernail?”

“Phillip called her on his way home. They talked for over an hour.”

Reaching for his water glass, Colton took a drink. “I didn’t see that coming.”

“Me, either. I’m as shocked as you are. He wants to see her again; she told him she’d have to check her schedule.”

“That doesn’t sound too positive.”

“I don’t know; she seemed more receptive to him this time. Maybe I wasn’t so far off after all.”

“Maybe you weren’t, but I’m more interested in what you see in our future, Miss Matchmaker.”

She waited while the waiter arranged their food on the table before answering. “It will be an adventure, that’s for sure. Think about it, Colton. How many married couples get the chance to start over again?”

He looked up from unfolding the linen napkin containing his silverware. “I have to admit it’s a little more stressful this time around.”

“Why is that?”

“Because you already know me; I can’t do anything to impress you.”

“Yeah, I see what you mean. This restaurant doesn’t even serve spicy dip.”

He smiled ruefully. “I was so nervous and excited that night I hardly knew what I was doing.” Colton stopped for a minute, shaking his head. “I can’t explain what happened even now except to say that I was never the same after I met you. It sounds corny, but it’s true.”

“Then I must be corny, too, because I like hearing things like that.”

He took a bite of his steak and looked at her speculatively. “What are your plans for this Saturday?”

“I don’t have any yet.”

“I took a leap of faith and made reservations for a private tour at Jekyll Island.”

Laurel smiled widely. “I know all about your leaps of faith. You also rented an apartment for us to live in before you even asked me to marry you.”

“That little gamble paid off. We’ll have to see about this one. I’ve also been thinking about your birthday. I’m a year overdue. I didn’t get you anything last year.”

“It wasn’t because you didn’t want to.”

“I understood, Laurel. The best gift I gave you was leaving you alone.” Colton laid down his fork. “Everyone wants to know why I stayed away so long, but no one understands my answer. I had failed you so badly; I couldn’t refuse to do the one thing you asked of me.”

She reached across the table and touched his arm. “I didn’t understand that until recently. I saw it as a sign of weakness prompted by guilt.”

His eyes glowed warmly in the soft candlelight. “Not guilt, Laurel; more like desperation. It was the only way I could think of to show you that I loved you.”

* * * *

The air was decidedly cooler outside the restaurant. Colton took the thin jacket dangling from her fingers and held it out.

“Here, put this on. I can see the goose bumps on your arms.”

“I was fine until I walked outside.” She slid her arms into the sleeves. For a moment, his hands rested lightly on her shoulders, and his breath felt warm against her cheek. Her own breath caught as a ripple of pleasure went through her.

“I know what will warm you up; some of my famous hot chocolate.”

“Do you have whipped cream?” she asked lightly, trying to disguise his effect on her.

“I always have whipped cream. Anything else we need? I can stop by the store on the way to my place.”

“No, that will do it.”

The drive to Phillip’s condo took less than ten minutes. Once they were inside, Laurel glanced around with interest and then went to peer out the window. A full moon hung in the otherwise dark sky, its pale glow reflected in the water below.

“I’d love to have this view.”

Colton joined her. “I’m going to miss it when I have to leave.”

She looked at him curiously. “You won’t be doing that anytime soon, will you?”

“I don’t know. How long do you think it will take Phillip to propose to Taryn?”

Laurel turned him around and gave him a playful push in the back. “That’s not funny. Go make the hot chocolate.”

“I’m going, I’m going.” With a laugh, he disappeared into the kitchen. As he filled the kettle on the stove with water, he could hear her moving around in the living room.

“When did you start watching old movies?” she called to him.

He stuck his head around the corner. “What do you mean? I watched old movies with you all the time.”

“Because
I
wanted to watch them. Most the time you fell asleep.”

Colton looked embarrassed. “I bought the movies as a way to be close to you. When I watch them, I can imagine you’re watching them at the same time.”

Laurel put down the movie cases in her hand and walked over to where he stood. “Is it any wonder that I fell in love with you? You do the sweetest, most romantic things.”

The whistling of the kettle brought a rueful smile to his face. “Hold that thought.”

She followed him into the kitchen and leaned against the counter. Her eyes went to the swell of muscles in his arms and back that his shirt couldn’t entirely conceal. It wasn’t difficult to remember being held close to him. He’d been a passionate, thoughtful lover.

“Almost done,” he said, his words breaking into her thoughts. “I think you’re going to like this – I doubled the chocolate.”

“Sounds great. You can never have enough chocolate.”

“I picked up
That Touch of Mink
last week.

“I haven’t watched that in a long time.”

He reached around her to open the refrigerator and get the whipped cream. After giving the can a vigorous shake, he squirted some into his mouth and then laughed at her expression. “Oh, come on, Laurel. I’ve seen you do it when you thought no one was looking.” He added ample amounts to both cups of hot chocolate.

“It was only
after
I’d already put it on the pumpkin pie I was serving.”

“I can do that, too.” He proceeded to put some more in his mouth. She swiped the can out of his hand and returned it to the refrigerator. He laughed again and handed her a cup. “We can watch the movie now if you want,” he said as he led the way into the living room. “It’s still early.”

She settled into a corner of the sofa, sipping her drink. “Okay, put it in.”

After a few minutes he admitted, “I have the hardest time figuring out this TV.”

“Do you want me to do it?” she offered.

“Would you? You’re much better at it than me.”

She came over to stand next to him. “This from the man who puts people’s legs back together.”

He handed her the remote. “We can’t all be mechanically inclined.”

Laurel pushed a few buttons, slid the disc into the slot and joined him on the couch.

“Did you have to make it look so easy?” he asked as the movie started.

“It
was
easy, but I can’t make hot chocolate this good to save my life. We each have our talents.”

Colton reached over and switched off the lamp beside him.

As the movie progressed, Laurel became more and more aware of the three feet of space between them. Irritated with herself, she moved into yet another position and tried to get comfortable.
Why couldn’t she forget about it and enjoy the movie?

“I love this part coming up at Yankee stadium,” he said in a low voice. “The way Doris Day gets everyone kicked out of the game reminds me of you at baseball games.”

She turned to look at him. “I guess I do get a little carried away sometimes.”

He chuckled. “A little? You asked one umpire if he’d left his glasses at home.”

“I couldn’t think of any other reason for him to be making so many terrible calls.”

Colton reached over and laid his hand over hers. “You made a boring game interesting.”

“You’re being very diplomatic.”

“I’m trying to get up the nerve to ask you to come a little closer. It’s lonely over here.”

“I was thinking the same thing.” Laurel slid over next to him. Then she took his arm and draped it around her shoulders.

“This is better, isn’t it?” she whispered.

“Much better,” he said huskily into her ear. Colton’s interest in the movie waned considerably from this point. His attention was on the woman in his arms. The silky strands of her hair tickled his chin even as the warmth of her skin played havoc with his heart rate. Exhaling a long breath, he stretched out his legs and forced himself to concentrate on the movie. She had willingly come to him. This was a moment to be savored, not spent wishing for more.

Too soon he felt her stirring against him and realized the movie was over. He tried not to think about how lonely he’d be when she left. If things continued to progress, there could come a time when she wouldn’t leave at all.

Laurel shut off the television and then glanced at him with a smile. “I believe you stayed awake this time.”

Colton laughed softly. “I didn’t want to miss anything.”

“Of the movie? That doesn’t make sense; you’ve already seen it.”

He stood up slowly and stretched. “I wasn’t talking about the movie. I need to get you home; we have to work tomorrow.”

They were both quiet on the drive back to her apartment, but it wasn’t an oppressive or uncomfortable silence. When he pulled in next to her car, she turned to him in the darkness. “I think our first date went well, don’t you?”

“Amazingly well.” He hesitated for a second and then asked, “Is it true what they say about you, Mrs. Samuels?”

She laughed, knowing exactly what he was referring to. “Yes, but there are exceptions to every rule.”

“You never should have told me that,” he said softly.

As he reached across to unbuckle her seat belt, he touched her lips in the lightest of kisses. Its gentleness evoked a sigh of pleasure from Laurel that ignited Colton’s senses bringing his mouth to hers again, this time deeper and longer. The flash of headlights from an approaching car reminded him where he was. With a rueful smile, he sat back in his seat. “That was supposed to be a quick goodnight kiss. It got a little out of hand.”

“Is that what you call a little out of hand?” she asked teasingly.

“Stop grinning at me like that, Laurel Samuels, or I won’t be responsible for my actions. We need to figure out the details of our second date.”

“I thought it was Saturday at Jekyll Island.”

“Do I have to go that long without seeing you?”

“I’m going to be busy the next few nights, but we could try Thursday.”

Colton shook his head. “I have to go out of town on Thursday, and I won’t get back until late Friday evening. It appears this is going to be a really long week.”

* * * *

By the time she reached her apartment Thursday evening, Laurel was ready to agree with Colton. This had been the longest week of her life. Her anticipation for Saturday was growing by the hour, making it difficult to be patient. This eagerness to be with him reminded her of their early days together when he’d been finishing his residency. There was, however, one major difference in the two situations: two years ago she’d been innocent of the fulfillment and contentment that comes with marriage. As great as dating was it had many limitations, and Laurel was beginning to find those restrictions tiresome.

She was in the process of changing clothes when the doorbell rang. Hurriedly dragging on a faded pair of jeans and sweater, she stuffed her feet into a pair of pink flip flops and went to answer the door. A casual glance through the spyglass sent a wave of excitement coursing through her veins. With trembling fingers, she unbolted the door and swung it open.

“What are you doing here?” she asked breathlessly.

“Why do you think I’m here?” Colton asked as he stepped inside.

She closed the door and pointed to the bakery box in his hands. “You wanted to bring me dessert before you left town?”

“Actually, I’m bringing dinner, too. It should be here in about fifteen minutes.”

Clearly puzzled, Laurel watched as he placed the box on the dining room table. “Did your trip get cancelled?”

A gleam of amusement appeared in his eyes. “I rescheduled it. How was your day?”

“Tedious. I’ve got mid-terms tomorrow so I spent most of the day reviewing.”