Finger Lickin' Dead (25 page)

“Yeah, but by the time they figure out where they came from, I’ll be out of here. It’ll take them a while to find you in the pool.”

Lulu looked behind Big Jack and her eyes widened until she quickly trained them back on Big Jack. Derrick was stealthily climbing over the wrought iron fence. Then he started running at Big Jack before slipping on the slick brick surrounding the pool. Derrick careened into Big Jack, knocking them both in the water along with the gun . . . and Holden. Who couldn’t swim.

Holden grasped frantically at Derrick while Big Jack pulled himself out of the pool and took off at a run. Lulu looked around for something to hand to Derrick to pull him and Holden to safety—but all she saw were planters and benches.

That’s when Cherry, who was wearing Flo’s dress that she’d
finally
gotten dry, dashed up, dove into the pool, and put Holden’s neck in the crook of her arm to pull him to the side.

Derrick by now was climbing out of the pool and coughing a little before jogging off in the direction that Big Jack had gone in. Lulu took off after him at a much slower pace.

In the most perfect timing ever, the Memphis police had discovered the cars parked on both sides of Elvis Pressley Boulevard, right in front of the mansion. The cars were blocking the lanes and the police were determined to find the perpetrators, give them a ticket, and make them park in the main parking lot—and take the shuttle to Graceland like everybody else. They pulled up to the gate of the mansion and strode down the driveway.

Where they encountered a sopping wet Big Jack tearing across the lawn followed by an equally wet and out of breath teenage boy and an older lady yelling for help. They weren’t sure exactly what was going on, but they were happy to detain the man everyone was chasing after to find out.

 

 

“Okay, so it wasn’t a
perfect
wedding,” said Flo after all the guests and the wedding party had left. She was about halfway through a leftover bottle of chardonnay. “The man who was giving away the bride was arrested for murder. The photographer’s camera was destroyed. And Lulu and Holden were nearly murdered during the ceremony. But it was as perfect as it
could
be.”

“Amen to that,” sighed Lulu, carefully propping her now aching feet up on a chair across from her.

“And Cherry helped save the day,” said Flo, raising her wineglass to her. “Considering I’d left the groom’s ring in that darned restroom.”

Cherry grinned and Lulu said, “There aren’t many friends who’d run across Graceland in their slip to make sure the groom’s ring was at the chapel before the ceremony started.”

“Not having the ring would have been a disaster,” agreed Flo. “Although not quite as bad as two dead bodies in the Graceland swimming pool.”

“I just can’t believe that Big Jack was the murderer,” said Evelyn, coming back inside the car museum. She’d gone outside for a smoke and seemed well on her way to getting hooked again.

Lulu said, “Well, he was and he wasn’t. He didn’t actually kill Adam, you know. He threatened him with a gun, but he didn’t
kill
him.”

“No,” said Evelyn in a dejected tone, “that would be my friend Ginger.”

“Well, she was awfully mad at Adam,” said Cherry. Lulu was proud that Cherry was managing to keep an “I told you so” tone out of her voice. “And she had a right to be.”

“I guess I’m lucky she didn’t shoot
me
,” said Evelyn gloomily. “But Big Jack did kill Ginger. And he was about to kill Holden and you, too, Lulu.”

Flo ran her thin hands through her hair until it poofed out in an even bigger bouffant than usual. “I just don’t know how he thought he was going to get away with it all. We totally would have heard those gunshots in the chapel.”

“But you wouldn’t have known exactly where the sound had come from,” said Lulu. “And you wouldn’t know who’d done it, either.”

“We’d have known Big Jack was missing!” said Flo heatedly, still vexed that the bride had had to have some random third cousin to step in for Big Jack.

“But as far as
you
knew, Big Jack was off being sick in the bathroom or had had car trouble on the way over to Graceland, or something like that. You wouldn’t have automatically gone to the police and told them that Big Jack had just shot two people,” said Evelyn.

“I think Big Jack felt like killing Ginger was justified,” mused Lulu. “Here he was, running for office. And he
hadn’t
killed Adam. But here this woman was, trying to blackmail him on two different things. And he knew he couldn’t really stop her. It
had
been his gun. And he was the one with the issue with Adam. So he decided the easiest thing would be to get rid of her. And he probably figured that she wasn’t all that great of a person anyway. Maybe he even justified it by thinking he’d helped make the world a better place.”

“Were you just scared to death?” asked Flo with a shiver. “When he was standing right there in front of you with that gun?”

“It
did
scare me,” said Lulu, feeling suddenly very tired. “Because it wasn’t the Big Jack I knew standing there. It was somebody else; somebody who would shoot me and Holden in cold blood and not even think twice about it. Thank God for Derrick. He came flying at him right out of the blue.”

“And thank God you told him to find you if he had any questions about setting up the food or the band,” said Evelyn.

Lulu teared up a little. “And here he’s been so insecure the last couple of weeks. His mom really messed him up, you know? He’s been feeling like he’s not any good. And here he is saving two lives in one fell swoop.” She took out a tissue and blew her nose.

Peggy Sue beamed. “I
knew
he was the perfect match for Peaches! She was the first on the scene after the police, you know. She was worried sick about him, but so
proud
! She went and put a tablecloth around him . . . because he was sopping wet, you know. And ever since she’s just been praising him for his act of bravery. Kind of chokes you up . . .” And Peggy Sue choked up on cue, patting herself comfortingly on her shoulder.

“And Cherry saved the day
again
when she jumped in the pool and saved Holden from drowning,” said Lulu. “’Cause Holden had fallen in on the diving board side of the pool, so that water was deep. And he couldn’t swim a lick.”

Cherry beamed. “It
was
a good day for me, wasn’t it? Well, y’all know I used to be a lifeguard back in the day. Waaaay back in the day. But some things you just never forget. I was more worried about Derrick at first—I thought Holden might accidentally drown him with all that desperate clawing he was doing. But we got it all straightened out.”

Ben and Oliver came out of the kitchen where they’d just finished cleaning up. “I missed all the action today, didn’t I?” He gave his mother a hug. “This is a wedding that I’ll never forget.”

“At least the food worked out okay,” said Oliver. “Thanks for giving me the gig, buddy.”

“I don’t know if you should thank me or not,” drawled Ben, “considering how dangerous it ended up being.”

The Graces were still chattering excitedly about the events of the day when Lulu stepped outside to check on Big Ben, Buddy, and Morty to see if they needed any help taking down the equipment. Oliver followed her outside.

Oliver let go a deep breath. “I’m just glad this is all over. Now I don’t have to worry about anybody blackmailing me or trying to ruin my life. I feel like I’ve got my
life
back. And it makes me that more determined to find a job.”

Lulu hesitated. “Oliver, I didn’t want to mention this because I worried it might offend you. I mean, the job is totally beneath you. And I know you want to open your own restaurant again. But we’ve got an open spot for a manager at Aunt Pat’s. I’ve gotten to the point where I just want to sit around and visit with people, Ben’s always in the kitchen. Ben’s wife, Sara, is too busy with her art and would rather wait tables than worry about the business side of a restaurant. Derrick loves the business end, but he’s still in school. . . .” Her voice trailed off.

Oliver’s eyes got misty. “Lulu, I love you! Thank you so much.” He gave Lulu a big hug.

“And if you find something else or find a business partner to start up a new restaurant, I’ll completely understand. But this way at least you’ll still be working in a restaurant and making a little money.” And not driving Tudy completely crazy at home, thought Lulu. The poor thing.

Oliver and Lulu walked back inside. Flo was saying, “And, y’all, the wedding, despite everything, was a huge success. I had two people ask for my business card. I gave the number for Aunt Pat’s to one person, Peggy Sue’s number for flower arranging once, and gave the card for the Back Porch Blues Band to two different people after Morty played that wonderful harmonica solo.”

Cherry mused, “I think I need to make myself up a business card and offer my services, too. I could be Cherry Hayes, Lifeguard. Or Cherry Hayes, Party Saver.”

“And Derrick could get a bodyguard business card,” said Peggy Sue. “Maybe he could add it to his resume and end up protecting the president one day.” She smiled at the idea of Peaches and Derrick living in wedded bliss in D.C. while protecting the president.

Lulu said, “Well, that’s something else if we almost had two murders taking place at the party and folks still want to use us. That’s saying something about the food, music, and flowers.”

“Well, of
course
it was perfect,” said Flo. “Between Graceland and Aunt Pat’s barbeque, how could you go wrong?”

Mix peaches and ½ cup sugar; set aside. Preheat oven to 375 degrees Fahrenheit. Melt butter in a 9-inch by 9-inch container. Mix other ingredients into a batter and pour over the melted margarine. (Make sure you don’t stir.) Place the peach mixture on top of the batter (still don’t stir). The peaches will sink to the bottom. Bake at 375 degrees for 40 minutes or until the crust is lightly browned. Serve warm.

 

Thinly slice the onions and soak them for 2 to 4 hours in the vinegar, sugar, and water. Drain well. Toss onions with mayonnaise and celery seed. Serve on crackers.

Preheat oven to 325 degrees Fahrenheit. Grate cheese. Mix ingredients together. Put dough in a cookie press. Line cookie sheets with parchment paper. Press the dough onto the cookie sheet and cut to desired length. Cook in 325-degree oven for 15 minutes or until brown. Allow to cool.

Preheat oven to 325 degrees Fahrenheit. Add 1 cup uncooked grits to 4 cups boiling water, 1 teaspoon salt, and 1 stick of butter. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer about 5 minutes, until liquid has been absorbed. Remove from the heat.

Cook bacon, drain, and crumble.

Beat the 4 eggs with 1 cup milk.

Mix everything together with 1 box of cornbread mix. Pour into a 13-inch by 9-inch casserole dish that has been sprayed with cooking spray. Sprinkle the cheese on the top.

Bake at 325 degrees Fahrenheit for 30 minutes.