Finn (Blue-Collar Billionaires #2) (21 page)

"It's my fault, so I will be the one who doesn't take a paycheck."

Daphne looks so sad, that I put my arm around her shoulders. She's the most optimistic of us all so stuff like this really takes her by surprise.

"It's okay, Daph. We're going to figure this out. It just means we'll have to cut some of the girls’ hours. I don't want to do that but it looks we don't have a choice."

"I know. It's just that I saw the way he looked at you. I really thought he'd fix it in the end."

We're still sitting in depressed silence when the front door buzzer sounds. Tara hops up. "I'll get it. It's probably just a delivery of supplies."

She returns a few minutes later with a slim envelope. "It's for you, Rissa. It was hand delivered and there's no return address."

I take the envelope. It's not even sealed properly, just fastened with those small metal hooks. I pry them open and then pull out the piece of paper inside. It's a photocopy.
 

The girls gather around me as I stare in disbelief at the document in my hands. Tara takes the paper from my hands and scrutinizes it. Even once it's out of my hands, I still see the letters in front of my face. It's a certified copy from the county of the deed to a building. To our building.
 

In my name.
 

"He did it!" Daphne throws her arms around me. Her enthusiasm is so infectious that I allow her to dance me around in a circle as Tara breaks out into nervous giggles.

"You own the building now." She turns to me. "He actually came through."

“This is so exciting! I knew he would come through. You have to go see him. Right now!” Daphne shoves me down into the desk chair and pulls a brush from her purse.
 

"My hair is too curly for that. If you brush it, it'll poof up until I look like a poodle."

"Oh right." She throws the brush on the desk and gently finger combs the snarls from my hair. Tara rummages through my purse until she finds my lip-gloss. She hands it to me. I apply a thin layer with shaky hands.

"What am I going to say to him?"

Tara shakes her head. "The man just gave you a building. I'd say all the rules have officially been thrown out the window. I'm pretty sure he won't care what you say. He'll just be glad you're back."

Warmth suffuses me as they rush me out the door. I turn at the last minute. "What if this isn't his way of saying he wants me back? Maybe he's just trying to keep us from suing him."

The idea of going over there by myself only to find out that Finn is still angry terrifies me.

"Come on, we'll drive you. You're not in any shape to drive. Plus, I love to see a happy ending!" Daphne herds me outside and then turns to lock the front doors of the building behind us.

"How do you know it's going to be a happy ending?" I am desperate to know the answer. Because I want that so much and anytime I've ever wanted something like this, it hasn't happened.
 

"This is your romantic moment, Ris. It's just like in the movies. The hero does something stupid but then he apologizes and does the grand gesture. Then he picks her up and carries her off into the sunset. This is your time to ride off into the sunset and no one deserves it more than you."

Tara leads us to her car since it's the biggest and I climb into the back while Daphne gets up front. They whisper softly back and forth to each other the entire drive but I'm not paying attention to any of it. All I'm thinking of is Finn and what I'll say to him.

Tara parks directly in front of his building. John waves as we enter the lobby. I use my key and then hit the button for the top floor. Tara bumps my shoulder. "Are you ready for this?"

"I hope so."

When we get to his floor, we turn left and then stop in front of his door. I raise my hand to knock and then hesitate. Daphne sighs and then raps on the door with her fist.

I glare at her. "I needed a moment."

"You need to hurry up. Happily ever after waits for no one."

After a minute, we all look at each other before Daphne bangs on the door again. I put my ear on the door listening. Nothing.
 

I pull out my key ring. Using it is a risk because there's a chance that he's here and just ignoring the door. If I open it, he could be pissed. Or he could be naked with someone else. Any number of humiliating and painful scenarios run through my mind.

But at least then I'd know for sure.
 

I slide my key in and turn the lock. I push the door open and stick my head around the doorjamb.
 

"Oh no."

I push the door open all the way and then walk into the apartment. The now completely empty apartment.
 

Daphne puts her hand over her mouth. "Oh, Rissa. I'm so sorry."

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I've been sitting on the floor in the middle of Finn's empty apartment for the last ten minutes. Daphne and Tara are waiting downstairs in the car. I told them I just needed a minute to process. I need more like a lifetime to process this.

"Rissa? What are you doing here?"

I look up. Tank is standing in the doorway holding a roll of duct tape and an empty cardboard box. I hastily wipe away my tears. It's humiliating enough that Finn has just moved on without even saying goodbye to me but I definitely don't want him to find out that I was sitting in the middle of his apartment crying like some kind of stalker chick.

"Nothing. I just came to see Finn but I guess he doesn't want to see me." I look around and laugh weakly.
 

Tank drops the box on the counter. "I know for a fact that he wants to see you. But he can't."

I watch as he assembles the box and then rolls duct tape over the seams. He's obviously been busy in here to have cleaned out this place so fast.
 

"Well, tell him I got the deed he sent me. And that I wish him well, wherever he ends up."

Tank looks over at me. "He's going to end up right back here. Would you hand me that roll of bubble wrap over there."

Puzzled by his strange nonchalance, I back up until I see the bubble wrap in the corner of the room. It's right below where the television used to be. There's a faded spot on the wall where the paint is a slightly lighter color.
 

"What do you mean he's going to end up right back here? Didn't he move out?"

"Nope. He's just getting the place painted. He asked me to move all his stuff out so the painters can come in this week."

Relief buckles my knees and I sit back down on the floor. "What? You mean he's not gone? Is he staying somewhere else? Can you take me to him?"

Suddenly Tank looks uncomfortable. "Um, he is staying somewhere else but I can't take you to him."

It feels like we're talking in circles. Tank was always straight with me so I don't understand why he's being deliberately difficult right now.

"If he doesn't want to see me, just tell me. I don't think I can take any more games." I look around at the mostly empty room. There are so many memories here. But all the good ones are tarnished by that final awful argument. He was trying to apologize even then but I wasn't ready to hear it then. And now that I am, he's gone.
 

"You're really not going to tell me where he is?"

He puts down the tape. "He's in rehab. And I really don't think he wants you to see him like that. I'm sorry that I'm being so cagey about this but he's my little brother. I just want him to get better."

"I want him to get better, too. There's nothing I want more than that. I would never get in the way of his recovery. I just want to help him."
 

Things are quiet for a moment and when I look up, Tank is standing next to me. He lowers himself onto the floor next to me. "Damn, I'm too big to be getting down on the floor. I hope you know I wouldn't do this for just anybody."

His cranky commentary brings a brief smile to my face. I know he's trying to make me feel better.
 

"You know I've always liked you, Rissa. But this situation … it's just not a good place for my brother. Finn is going to kick my ass when he finds out I said this to you but I think that having you in his life right now might be doing him more harm than good."

"But I love him."

"I know. He loves you, too. The two of you have always been like fireworks. You spark off each other and you create all this heat. But while fireworks are exciting, they can also be dangerous. And I think he needs a chance to recover before he tackles all the issues you guys have."

Despite the fact that what he's saying mirrors what I've been thinking too, it still hurts to hear. Love is supposed to be enough. No one wants to think of their love as being a force that might hold someone else back.
 

"So you're saying I have to let him go." I swallow over the lump in my throat. Everything inside me wants to reject what he's saying but I know that he's right.
 

"Yeah. You have to let him go. Just for a little while."

FINN

I pull on a pair of comfortable jeans, and then pull out a striped collared shirt. Being in my own place with my own stuff feels weird after being away for the past few weeks. My eyes land on the row of tailored suits in the back of my closet. I had them all made when I got the first part of my inheritance. Flush with more money than sense, I'd wanted to dress a certain way. Like looking the part would make me feel like I deserved the money.

That's always been my way when I'm trying to impress someone. Put on the flash. But today I just want my favorite pair of jeans. I want to look like myself.
 

Today I'm going to see my girl.
 

Jonah is waiting for me downstairs. I called him as soon as Tank brought me back from the rehab center. He's been on vacation for the past month visiting his mother in Arizona. He has a deep tan and looks more relaxed than I've ever seen him. When he sees me, he actually smiles.
 

"It's good to have you back, sir."
 

"It's great to be back."

He opens the door and I slip into the backseat. Taking my truck out for a spin was my first choice but then I realized I might want my hands free on the ride home.
 

After I give Jonah the address of our destination, I sit back and think about what I'm going to say.
 

When I first checked myself into the rehab center, I thought the only way I could handle leaving was to cut off all communication with the outside world completely. But at the last minute, I sent Rissa an email expressing my sincere apologies for my deception. It was important for me to tell her that I was truly sorry for what I'd done. No excuses. No bullshit.
 

I wasn't even sure if she'd accept my apology but then she'd answered back to tell me she appreciated my gift of the building. I'm not even sure how it happened but over the past six weeks we've exchanged dozens of emails and talked about everything in a way that we had difficulty doing face-to-face.
 

I told her about my group therapy sessions. She told me about the changes she's made at work to make sure they all have more leisure time. When I was shaking and shivering craving the pills so badly that I wanted to scream, I would read her emails over and over and it gave me something to focus on.
 

Jonah stops the car at the curb in front of Gloria Blake's house. I know Rissa is still staying here because I had Jonah check before I got back. I could have just asked her but I didn't want to tip my hand. I want to surprise her.
 
According to Jonah, she always leaves for her second shift about this time. She doesn’t know this but Tara will be covering for her tonight.

After about ten minutes, Rissa steps outside. She’s carrying a bunch of stuff just like usual and when I see her my heart clenches.
 
She locks the door behind her and then looks up to the sky. Her eyes are closed.
 

I get out of the car and walk up the driveway. She opens her eyes and gapes at me. “Finn?”

“What are you doing out here? It’s a little early for stargazing, isn’t it?”

Her soft smile is so warm that I can feel it from where I stand. “Just making a wish."

"What did you wish for?"

"It already happened." Then she steps down and leans against my chest.
 

I pull her into my arms and bury my face in her hair.
 

"Tank told me that he saw you. He said that he told you where I was but he asked you to stay away." I'd been pretty angry with him that day but that didn't last long. I know that my brother is only trying to look out for me. I would have done the same thing if our positions were reversed for sure.
 

"He did. I was hurt at first but after I thought about it, I understood. Getting clean had to be about you. Not about us." She lifts her head and wraps both arms around my waist. "I'm so glad you're back. I missed you."

"I missed you, too. You have no idea."

"Are you okay?"

"No."
 

"Are you in pain?" she whispers.
 

"Every day."

She looks down at my leg. I made the choice to walk unassisted today. One of the most important parts of detoxing was focusing on the physical symptoms that my addiction was masking. I've been working with a physical therapist. That's something that I should have been doing all along but it was just easier to take the pills and forget the pain.
 

I can't pretend that it's been easy. Several times over the last six weeks, I've wondered why I ever thought that I could survive unmedicated. But now that I've seen how much I've been missing out on, how much life has been passing me by, I know I'll never go back. My leg still hurts but I've been embracing the pain. It keeps me grounded. It makes me focus. It reminds me that I'm alive.