Fire and Ice (20 page)

I still wasn't focused on him or what he was saying, but he was giving me a plausible excuse for my distraction.

"I enjoyed the party, I did. It's just… everyone seems to have these expectations of me… as if they know me," I insisted as I brushed past him, dodging a snaking vine creeping across our path. In a stride or two he'd caught up, passing the Beltane lovers pressed up against the crumbled brick wall, moaning in a language I couldn't yet identify.

"Like I said, they'll get to know you soon enough if you give them a chance."

I couldn't help rolling my eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure." I said, picturing faeries, redcaps, and an ice witch fighting to see who could steal my soul first.

He caught my hand in his. This time I smiled, warming to the touch of his fingers interlaced with mine, chasing away the lingering chill. As addictive as being with him was, I still had no idea what, if anything, was going on between us. I wasn't prepared to nose dive into what was already an impossible reality if he wasn't interested in me that way. I wanted to be sure that
he
was sure.

“Your hands are so cold.” He rubbed them between his, trying to generate more heat. Standing so close to him produced all the heat I needed.

I looked up into his hazel eyes and saw a depth of emotion that surprised me. What I saw answered some of the questions plaguing me about his feelings, but it also made me frightened of the possibility of never experiencing the outcome of those feelings if the Ice Witch succeeded. I knew in that moment there would be no spy mission with Taryn. There was no need… And no time.

“Well,” he said quietly. “You have something you wanted to talk about?”

His eyes implored mine, and I knew I had to say something. Reveal a secret, if he was ever going to trust me enough to reveal his.

I took a deep breath. And confessed the decision I'd come to only seconds before. “I've decided. I'm leaving in the morning for the Faery island of Tir Na Nog.”

Adrius went rigid. “Why?” he barked, his voice almost rumbling with anger. His reaction caught me off-guard.

“Because you and everyone else need me to fulfill this prophecy,” I added.

For a moment he was expressionless. Then his eyes darkened in a fierce glare. “I told you I would find a way out for you. Don't you trust me?”

“I've always trusted you, Adrius… even when you told me not to.”

“Then what is the sudden need to rush into danger?” he demanded, his voice dark and ominous like the threat of an impending thunderstorm. “The Nevermore is savage, Lorelei. This is not something you can leap into. If you leave here now, you will be doing it alone. Do you understand that?”

“I'm fine with that.” My words ran together, the way they do when I'm nervous and pretending not to be. “I'll go alone. I've been told it will be a simple task.”

“By who? Nevermind. Doesn't matter.” He fumed. “What's crazy is you believed them. This is by far the most insane thing you've agreed to. There's more to this prophecy than we know, Lorelei. That's all I can tell you right now, because I'm still searching for answers myself. I just know we haven't been given the entire story. I can tell you that
this
… you leaving Mythlandria on your own, is a bad idea.”

Folding my arms across my chest, lifting my chin I stared at him, refusing to back down.

“Has something changed? Did they appoint someone else as the Chosen One? Has the fate of the world suddenly been placed in someone else's hands?”

He shook his head. “Of course not. It's still you, Lorelei. But this quest, it could end your life. It makes more sense to wait until we know more.“

“Wait for how long? Things are getting worse by the second, and my mother can't afford to wait. You have every right to your opinion, Adrius. But I'm doing this. And you can't talk me out of it.”

“So that's it. You're ready and willing to completely throw your life away.” He leveled his gaze. “What about your mother?”

“I can't believe you would throw that at me. Don't you see I
have
to do this
because
of her? There is no other way.” I closed my eyes briefly. “Believe me, I've tried.”

“Try harder. We can figure something out. You don't have to do this.”

I shook my head. “Adrius, you said so yourself. The prophecy says this is the only way if I ever want to be free… to go home.”

“You don't believe in prophecy,” he challenged.

“I don't know what I believe anymore. All I know is that I have to do something. And I'd feel better knowing you supported me.” I rested my hand on his arm. “Come with me.”

He stared at me, his olive eyes piercing my soul, trying to work their way into my thoughts. I pushed against him, determined to keep him out. There were some things he was better off not knowing. Not yet.

He shook his head slowly. “Why don't you tell me the real reason you're doing this.”

I didn't reply. Anything I said would have made him more suspicious.

A dark scowl hardened his face as he stepped away, letting my hand fall.

“Nothing? Okay. That's fine, Lorelei. But know this. If you choose to risk your life in such a careless way, I will not be there to watch it happen.” He raked a hand through his hair in desperation, and for a split second my resolve almost faltered. “Last chance,” he said, his voice dropping. “I'm asking you to change your mind.”

“And I'm asking you to come with me,” I countered, quietly. My stomach twisted in agony at the pain in his eyes. Pain directly caused by my decision.

“I can't.” He sighed as his gaze fell to the ground.

I exhaled a weary breath. “Neither can I.”

“Then I guess this is the end, Lorelei,” he said, voice tight and strained. “You better hope the spirits you don't believe in protect you, because nothing else will in the dark places of the Nevermore.

“Adrius, wait…” I reached out to him, as he turned and strode away dissolving in the night. Every piece of me screamed,
go after him
. But I couldn't.

With a dull ache in my heart I watched him leave, shaken by the thought I might never see him again —if I lived to see anyone again. The odds were clearly not in my favor. At this moment, I knew I could expect no help… that my life and death were in my own hands.

And try as I might to ignore his words, I couldn't completely silence the terrifying voice inside that whispered…
you're choosing death
.

“Lorelei, you don't know what you have agreed to.” Adrius sat down next to me on the stump blanketed in moss. Once again he attempted to talk me out of my decision. The air between us resonated with tension. Two days had passed since the Beltane Fete, and it had been decided by Hawthrin and the King that it would be best if I left at twilight. I stared at him in the soft morning light. He looked amazing, freshly washed, casually dressed, his hair still damp from the shower. It fell in mocha waves around his perfect face. A perfect face, lined with worry and darkened by his severe expression.

The gauzy celadon gown floated around my legs in the breeze that tousled the neon leaves. I could not imagine a more breathtaking vision, apart from one. Moments earlier there had been a soft rustling of the leaves. And I knew he was here. I'd grown used to the feeling of him now. His presence had an electric charge that made the tiny hairs on my arm stand on end.

“It's very unlikely things will go the way you think they will. A quest this important left in the hands of someone like you, how could it succeed? You're rushing into things without thinking them through. And you have no real understanding of the threats that lie in wait beyond the boundaries of Mythlandria.”

He was angry and I couldn't understand why.

“It's an impossible situation even with help.”

My stomach did a somersault. It was one thing to have to face this task alone, another altogether to know he didn't believe in me. I figured it would be dangerous, but there was too much at stake not to see it through. I had to get to my mother, and the only way to do that was to go through with what Zanthiel asked. And now, with knowing my father is still alive… But even knowing the danger before me, it was his complete lack of confidence in my ability to survive that bothered me. I lifted my chin.

“Then help me. Come with me.”

“I can't do that. I'm needed here,” he said. His mouth was clenched in a grim frown. He stood up, his full height towered over me, and glared. “Just the journey alone will involve more physical activity than you're used to. There are mountainous terrains, rocky cliffs.” He looked at me, one eyebrow raised. “You do know how to climb, right? Because if I remember correctly, you didn't do so well when we arrived.”

Could he be a bigger jerk?
I stood up just as fast, tilting my face upward to return his glare. “I get that you may be accustomed to rescuing damsels in distress and playing up the whole super hero thing, but I have always looked after myself, and it's not like anyone's counting on you to defeat the Ice Witch and save the day. I take it back. I
don't
need your help.”

He winced ever so slightly behind his cool exterior. I'd had gone too far. If I wasn't already so agitated, his reaction might have stopped me, but the words poured out. “So feel free tend to your princely duties here. I will be fine.” My head cocked to the side. “Perhaps you should take Taryn out to pick gooseberries in the Wyldewoods or something. Since I don't see how someone who can't even maintain peace within his own family could possibly help restore it to an entire kingdom.” Drawing a deep breath, I stopped, like an engine that had run out of gas.

I turned away, hiding the color creeping into my face and wandering towards the toadstool bench. I sounded like a crazy, jealous girlfriend.

When I turned around, he was watching me. His expression was unreadable again. If the Inner Eye necklace worked all the time with him, I could have listened to every thought passing by those intense eyes. Instead, I watched the corner of his mouth tighten as he frowned briefly and then returned to his usual state of calm.

“This is a deadly game. And you have been made a pawn. It's an impossible task for the most skilled warrior among us, even with the full use of magic. And yet they want you to do this alone.” His voice trailed off. “It's madness,” he said quietly, appearing to restrain himself as the small vein in his forehead pulsed. He looked away. “I'd prefer it if you didn't go at all. We could find some other way.”

“I don't understand. Hawthrin said everything would be fine. It seems unreasonable to expect me to just stay behind. I may not have magic powers, but if I'm really a descendent of the fey, you should understand that makes this situation as important to me as to you. The fact that I'm half-human doesn't automatically mean I'm useless.” I held my ground, refusing to compromise.

He matched my glare. “Have I ever suggested that you were?” The pained look in his eye caught me off-guard. “It's not your desire to find the skills you have that I object to. He spoke slowly, carefully, as if he wanted to make sure she understood. “I just will not allow you to risk your life to do so.” He moved closer, until I felt the warmth of his breath.

I couldn't tell him about my plan to find my father, not without telling him about my encounter with Zanthiel. For some reason, I felt it was important that he didn't know about it. Not yet.

“So what's your big plan then, hmm? How do you suggest I get home? To my mother, who is dying, Adrius? If it's not too late already.” A familiar knife of fear sliced through me.

“Stay here,” he said softly “Practice gaining the full strength of your powers from the safety of Mythlandria. Our borders are well-protected. We can keep you safe. I can keep you safe.”

In that moment, I wanted more than anything to agree to his perfectly sane proposal. To forget all about witches, faeries, and prophecies and stay here by his side happily ever after. But that dream had no chance at survival. Especially not while the very survival of everyone I loved was at risk. And it was growing more and more so with each passing moment. The rapidly cooling temperature confirmed it. Not that the burning fear in the center of my stomach wasn't proof enough. Something more terrifying than I could image was coming, and I had some part to play in stopping it. I had to find the Faerie islands, learn how to access my powers if there really were any to access, and do whatever I could to put an end to the destruction. Or there would be no happily ever after for any of us.

“I get it. Her magic is unmatched,” I began quietly. “She's killed thousands in an instant with the flick of her hand.” I swallowed hard. “That's why I have to do what I can, Adrius. They need me. You need me. And if that means I have to go alone, then I will. I couldn't bear to let Mythlandria fall, knowing there was a chance I could have helped prevent it.”

“How?” he demanded, pacing.

“I don't know.” I shook my head. “But there is a lot I don't understand yet.” Digging my heels in was something I was good at. I'd spent most of my life practicing defiance.

He searched my face for a brief time. “You are no good to anyone dead, Lorelei,” he said flatly.

“You know, your attitude about this isn't so different from the rift between you and Julien.”

His eyes flashed. “It is a different matter entirely.”

“Not really. It's been going on for ages and no one wants to take steps toward resolving it.”

Adrius flinched. “You don't understand our ways,” he said, recoiling.

“I just don't understand how you can continue a fight for so many years. I mean, what could be worth all of that anger and hatred?”

“Peace, love, harmony… that is the only way,” he said with heated sarcasm. “I wonder if that's your humanity speaking? Let's see… world wars, crime, famine — No, I don't think it is.”

“You know, you like to think of yourselves as these superior beings. You're not all that different from us. Aside from the magic. This could be anywhere.” I twirled a lock of hair around my finger, eyes narrowing. “You're actually pretty average.”

“It's interesting, the way you still use the terms
you
and
us
. Carefully placing yourself on one side instead of the other, never both.”

“I will always consider myself human, Adrius. No matter what answers or truths I find.”

This was getting us nowhere. We were on opposing sides, and there was no middle ground. I blew out a frustrated sigh. “I have a lot to do before I leave,” I said, focusing on a bright green acorn resting on the ground. “You should go, Adrius. I'll be fine.”

He took a step toward me and stopped. Then without another word he turned around and stalked toward the briars. A path opened before him and sealed itself once he'd passed through.