Fire Burn and Cauldron Bubble (27 page)

He bounced around a bit, trying to get comfortable and then draped his large arm around my waist, pulling me into the curve of his body. I closed my eyes, soaking in his strength and warmth. This was the closest to heaven I’d ever been.

“Are you tired?” I asked.

“I’m asleep,” he mumbled.

I giggled as he ran his fingers down my side. “So, would you have had sex with me tonight?” I asked.

I felt his body tighten at my words. “I’m trying to keep myself from having sex with you now.”

“Would it be so bad?”

Rand chuckled. “Make up your mind, Jolie, do you want me inside you or don’t you?”

My heart fluttered at his choice of words, and I fought to find something to say. “I didn’t mean that, I meant would…us be so bad?”

He was silent but exhaled a long and telling breath. A sigh after the question I’d just posed wasn’t a good response. I tried to prepare myself for the rejection that was about to come my way. I would’ve given anything to be able to read minds at that moment.

“Being connected to someone is dangerous.”

“You aren’t connected to me now?” I asked, feeling offended. I was certainly connected to him, connected wasn’t even the word for it. Head-over-heels would be more apropos.

He groaned. “More than I ever planned or wanted to be.” He pulled away from me and leaned against the headboard. “Turn around.”

I did so and faced a warlock deep in contemplation. “I think it’s a yes or no answer, Rand.”

He shook his head. “Unfortunately it isn’t that easy. I can’t give you what you want right now, Jolie, what we both want. Not with our precarious future looming above us.”

I nodded. “I understand.” Although I’m not sure I did understand. Rand was one of those people who seemed to make everything more difficult than it actually needed to be. He reminded me of some sulking hero who constantly had to challenge temptation, lest it get the best of him.

“No, I don’t think you do. I care deeply for you, Jolie. Do I love you? I’m not sure, but I can’t let it progress to that stage. Love between witches is not the same as what humans consider love or a relationship to be.”

“Why not?” I couldn’t imagine that a relationship would be all that different from the type I was used to…or wasn’t used to in my case. But going on my relationship with Trent, it hadn’t been so different to those I saw on TV or read about in books. It started off with a date and ended with…getting dumped. Maybe a relationship wasn’t such a good idea, after all.

“A relationship between a witch and a warlock is forever. There is no marriage, there is no divorce. It runs deeper than that. It’s a connection of souls.”

A connection of souls sounded pretty serious. Hadn’t I just been asking about dating? “I didn’t ask you to marry me, Rand.”

Rand shook his head, apparently thinking I wasn’t on his wavelength. “If you and I were to get involved, it would be a deeper connection than anything I’m prepared for. It might not be the relationship I just described, but it would lead to that.”

I started to argue with him, but he silenced me with a shake of his head. “It wouldn’t be casual, Jolie, not between us.”

I didn’t know how I felt about this. On the one side, I was thrilled that his feelings ran so deeply for me, but what was the point if he wouldn’t act on them? “So, it would have to be all or nothing?”

He nodded. “Neither one of us can afford to even think in such a way. Not with Bella and the Lurkers threening our lives.”

“That’s why you’ve been fighting it all this time?” I asked the question, but it was more an observation.

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?”

He shrugged. “I didn’t want you to take it the wrong way.”

I wondered if maybe I might have taken it the wrong way. Maybe I was taking it the wrong way now. “And just sex between us?”

He chuckled. “Would you ever be happy with that?”

My body would be happy, but my heart would sing a different tune. “No, I wouldn’t.”

“Neither would I. It wouldn’t be enough for either one of us.” He paused. “That and the jealousy of seeing you with other men would tear me apart.”

I didn’t even want to contemplate the notion of seeing him with other women. “Do you think you’ll ever…let yourself love someone for lack of a better word?”

He was quiet as he considered my question. “I don’t know. I’ve been alive for one hundred sixty five years and in that time, I’ve never considered it. I’ve dated casually, of course, but never anything as finite as what I’ve described to you.”

“That sounds very lonely,” I said in a small voice, hating the idea that it would be my lonely existence as well. If love were as complicated and involved as he pictured it, either all of my relationships would be casual or a bonding of souls? What was the point of dating at all? Ugh, I was back where I’d started from.

I started to get angry with the whole scenario. Just as I was finally enjoying some male attention and actually had men vying for my affections, this landed in my lap. Well, maybe I’d just need to avoid witches. I guess I could have a normal relationship as long as it wasn’t with one of my own kind. So who did that leave? Wolves? No thanks, been there done that. Vampires? I wasn’t sure how I felt about dating the undead. An image of Sinjin popped into my mind…hmm, vampires might not be such a bad option. Demons? They just sounded dangerous. Maybe it was back to ordinary humans for me. Yeah, good luck—like that had worked at all in the past.

“It can be lonely. You have to get used to it, Jolie. You’re a young witch, but in time, you will have to make some fairly tough decisions. Love is one of the toughest because it’s all consuming.”

“What does that mean, all consuming?”

He groaned and raked his hands through his hair. “It means you become one with each other. The magic bonds between the two of you cement you as one. You can read each other’s thoughts, your magic increases tenfold because you share one another’s magic. But you also become susceptible to the same problems. I’ve seen witches die when their lover dies.”

Yeah, definitely not dating another witch anytime soon. I was quiet as I laid my head back on the pillow and thought this night had taken a different direction than I’d planned.

“I care for you deeply, Jolie,” Rand’s whisper in my ear caused shivers down my spine. “I care for you more than I’ve cared for anyone in a very long time. It scares the shit out of me,” he finished.

“I understand now,” I said with finality. I got the picture, the whole enchilada.

“Perhaps someday…”

“Shh,” I interrupted. I couldn’t stand to listen to apologies. It was what it was. I’d have to live with it in the same way that Rand had lived with it for over one hundred years. Whoever coined the phrase ‘life’s a bitch and then you die’ hit the nail right on the head. “Don’t say anymore. Let’s just have this night.”

He pulled me closer to him, and I couldn’t keep the tears from rolling down my cheek.

#

Ryder was just as horrible as I’d remembered him. There was something about the vampire that was malevolent, an intangible evil that lurked in his eyes.

“Let’s see whatcha got,” he said, crossing his burley arms and leering at me.

It was my first lesson and Rand, Ryder and I were in Rand’s workout room. Rand had removed all the workout equipment, and in its place, the floor and walls were covered with thick padding. It was an ominous thought as to why he felt it needed all that padding.

“Go easy on her, Ryder,” Rand warned from the sidelines.

I walked onto the floor, dressed in leggings and a sports bra, hoping my sporty look would equate to a decent performance.

“Just come at me like you would if I were gonna attack you,” Ryder said.

I shrugged and neared him, noting his bull-legged stance. There was no way in hell I was going to do any sort of damage to this oaf, but I had to try. Steeling my resolve, I lunged for him, thinking maybe I could deliver a blow to his face. No sooner did I raise my arm, then I found myself on my back, the air completely deflated from my lungs.

Ryder stared over me with a sneer. “Gotta do better than that.”

I didn’t think I’d be able to get back up, feeling like I’d just been hit by a train. I took a moment to catch my breath.

“Are you alright, Jolie?” Rand called out.

I nodded and turned over so I was on all fours as I forced myself up. “Clearly, I can’t take you down. Maybe this is where you should start teaching me,” I snapped.

“I’m gonna grab you ‘round the waist.”

He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. With a quick jerk, he pulled me against him, and I frowned, thinking the proximity not necessary. His cold breath against my neck made my stomach churn.

“What do I do now?”

“You just think to protect your ribs and make sure I ain’t gonna lift you. Anyone who grabs you like this is gonna pick you up an’ throw ya on your ass to hurt your hips or back.”

“Okay, so what do I do?”

“In one move, push down on my wrists and squat, then once you do that, you gonna stomp on my foot or try and wrench my fingers.”

This sounded impossible. I was thinking it would be better to try and find a stone with which to take down the mighty Goliath.

“Try it, Jolie,” Rand said.

Ryder separated himself from me and then came at me without any sort of hint. He grabbed me around the waist, hoisted me up, and then threw me down. I landed on my hip with a thud, biting into my lip with a cry. A shard of pain coursed through my side and traveled all the way to my lip.

“Christ, Ryder!” Rand yelled as I righted myself.

I stood up and tasted blood. Unfortunately, Ryder noticed it as well and his expression changed from one of amusement to one of hunger.

Crap.

My heart plummeted. He was a vampire and I was bleeding.

He didn’t pounce on me, thank God, but came at me slowly, his attention riveted on the blood seeping from my lip.

“Ryder, stay the hell away from her,” Rand yelled as he forced himself between the two of us. He pushed Ryder, and by the fact that Ryder somewhat lost his balance, I realized how physically strong Rand was.

Rand touched my lip and the blood stopped. I licked the area where I’d bitten into it and found it healed.

Rand nodded. “Good as new.”

I snuck a glance at Ryder, and he was no longer like a deer in headlights. He didn’t seem embarrassed either, but faced me in his sinister way.

“You didn’t grab my wrists like I told you.”

“I didn’t realize you were coming at me!” I yelled, my hands on my hips in the most put-out stance I could muster.

“You won’t know when someone’s gonna attack you either, so you gotta be quick on your feet. Try it again.”

Luckily, I was saved by the ringing of my cell phone. I lunged for it and answered it before Ryder could protest.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Dear.” It was my mom.

I smiled at both Rand and Ryder and mouthed “it will be a while”. Rand frowned while Ryder shrugged and turned to doing pushups on the floor.

“Hi Mom, I’m just in the middle f…working out.” I wasn’t sure how she’d react to know I was sparring with a vampire while a warlock looked on. Mom had no idea she’d spawned a witch. Better to keep her in the dark.

“That’s good to hear, darling. I just wanted to call and say hello and see how England is treating you.”

I continued making small talk, trying to give Rand and Ryder a reason to call our lesson off, but after ten minutes of meaningless chatter, they were both ready to give it another go. I was less than ready.

I hung up the phone and tossed it back against my towel as I turned with a groan and braced myself for Ryder’s next attack.

An hour later and my lesson was finally finished. I was sore all over, and I’d been thrown against the floor so many times, I’d lost count. The entire hour had been spent in perfecting my response to the around the waist attack and by the end of it, I’d at least been able to grab Ryder’s wrists. I hadn’t been able to do much more than that. Vampires were damn fast, and they were incredibly strong.

As far as lessons went, I preferred those of the fairies—at least they didn’t involve a scary vampire, blood and pain.

SEVENTEEN

“Throw yourself into it,” Rand yelled as I struggled against Ryder, my feet slipping on the dew-soaked grass.

It was my fifth self-defense lesson, and I was making no headway. I just wasn’t cut out for this crap. I wasn’t what I’d call a sporty person—I’d been to the gym maybe five times in my life, and I hadn’t gone willingly.

Ryder tightened his hold, pinning my arms securely behind my back like he was a cop arresting me. My plan was to bend forward and kick my leg up behind me, which hopefully would land squat between his legs. Well, it sounded like a good plan in theory, but when I put it to the test, the bastard just laughed and released me, shaking his head at my apparent inability.

“Jolie,” Rand started.

I lifted my hand to silence him. “I’m not in the mood to hear t. Defending myself against a vampire is impossible.” I sighed. “The whole thing is the dumbest idea on the goddamned planet. Just give me a freaking gun and when one attacks me, I’ll blow his head off.”

“That’s fine an’ good, but a bullet to the head won’t kill a vampire,” Ryder said, grinning with exposed canines…just to piss me off. Well, I was already pissed off, as I had a tendency to be when faced with my lessons. Ryder was a craptastic teacher, and I guess I wasn’t much of a shining student.

I turned toward him, just then wishing I had a gun to test his theory. “I’m sure it would slow you down!”

Tonight we were sparring outside. Even though the night was ice cold, sweat beaded on my forehead, trailing dn my face until it interfered with my vision. A cold wind sailed through the trees and made the sweat against my skin sting like ice.

Ryder had thought it a good idea to vary my surroundings. Luckily for him, he was dead and couldn’t feel heat or cold, so he couldn’t care less if we were battling in the elements or in the heat of the desert. And as for me, I’m not really sure if there was much of a difference between getting my ass kicked inside or outside, but there you have it.

“Again,” Rand said from the sidelines.

I gave him a look that said I was anything but amused. He either didn’t notice it or ignored me. Sighing in frustration, I faced Ryder again.

He moved around me. “Just walk and I’m going to jump out at you.”

The moonlight fought to get through the clouds as my gaze went to Rand. He stood with his legs braced apart, his arms crossed. He looked annoyed. Hell, I didn’t blame him. I was annoyed as I’d yet to improve my skills. Ryder had thrown me five times already.

A cloud obscured the moon, and I was left in total darkness, wondering when Ryder would force me to the ground, so I could eat some more dirt.

“I can’t see a damned thing!” I yelled.

“If a vampire attacks you at night, you’ll have to be…”

“I know!” His argument was always the same: it’ll happen in real life, so you better be ready for it. Well, vomit on Ryder and the whole vampire race.

“Listen for him, Jolie,” Rand called out. “When he moves, you’ll hear it in the air. Rely on your ears, not your eyes.”

I threw a glare his way, hoping he could see it in the dark, wondering when he’d bust out with the ‘young grasshopper’.

Steel hands wrapped around my throat and slammed me against a tree, the bark biting into my cheek. Frantic for air, I clawed at his arms as my legs flailed, hoping to connect with him but to no avail. Just when I started to feel woozy, he let go. Cool air rushed into my lungs, and I stumbled forward. Thank God, the asshole was giving me time to recoup. I closed my eyes to compose myself, when a howl pierced the calm night air.

“Jolie,” Rand snapped. I didn’t waste time rushing to his side, not at all excited about the prospect of standing on my own when a possible werewolf or something worse lurked in the foliage.

Ryder just stood there, staring into the woods like the idiot he was.

The howl sounded again, this time louder and closer. It was definitely the call of a werewolf. My heart jumped into my throat, and I had to resist the urge to grab onto Rand as I wondered if the wolf was Trent. I couldn’t imagine he would be idiotic enough to come for me when Rand could turn him into wolf shish kabob as easily as blinking. But what other wolf would have any reason to be here?

Rand looked directly into my eyes. “Don’t move.” Before I could question him, he slipped into the forest, hiddeby foliage and darkness.

“Rand!” I called, worried that he might not come back. Then I checked myself, he was a warlock. I should be more worried for the wolf.

“I wonder what the hell that was?” I said, turning to face Ryder.

Ryder’s fist interrupted my vision as it connected with my face.

Then there was the blackness of nothing.

#

I felt like I was swimming.

Swimming through the blackest ocean, but it wasn’t an ocean at all, more like oil, thick and unyielding. I fell underneath the wave of black and crested again, sputtering.

I could hear something; it was the faintest sound of a voice calling to me in the distance. I just had to swim through the sludge to get to the shore, a seemingly easy deed that proved extremely difficult.

I didn’t have the stamina to stay afloat. My limbs ached with the intense agony of swimming in a limitless sea with no horizon in view. I went under again, and the voice called to me, encouraging me to swim through the wave.

I opened my eyes and saw white. I blinked, trying to focus. Slowly, the white took the form of a ceiling, a brown water stain spreading from the middle of the ceiling to one corner like a great big spider with one leg stretched out.

I was in a bed; I could feel the fluff of the pillow underneath my neck. I tried to turn my head, to take in my surroundings, but as soon as I moved, pain stabbed the back of my skull.

Magic.

It would take the headache away. I attempted to bring my hand to my head, but I couldn’t move my arm—something held it firmly in place, something cold. I pulled against the restraint again, and the sound of metal grating metal caused my eyes to pop open. Even though I knew the pain would fight me, I turned my head and looked down.

Each of my wrists was handcuffed to the metal railing of a cot. I turned my face forward again and closed my eyes against the onslaught of panic that was already visiting me.

My head ached like a bitch. But it wasn’t the pain that disturbed me the most; it was the sudden exhaustion that visited like a bolt of lightning. It was a fatigue the level of which I’d never experienced before—like I hadn’t had a thing to eat for two days and had just run a marathon—that sort of exhausted. Course, I’ve never run a marathon, but if I had, I’m sure I’d feel as tired as I now was.

I forced my attention back to the present, back to the riddle of why I was cuffed to a bed in a room I didn’t recognize.

“She’s coming to.” I recognized the voice. I couldn’t bring myself to open my eyes, though—invisible weights hung on the end of every one of my eyelashes.

="0" width="32"> I fell back into the tide of black water.

I don’t know when I awoke again. It could have been minutes or days, but I suddenly found myself conscious. I opened my eyes and my vision floundered for a minute. My gaze settled on the same white ceiling. Not a sound interrupted the silence of the room. It was quiet, too quiet.

Was I dead? I paid attention once more to my body and pulled against the cuffs that were still in full effect. If I were dead, I imagined I’d gone south because this certainly wasn’t the treatment of the saved.

I didn’t feel any pain, which was a relief. My vision blurred as I trained it to focus on an empty chair in the corner of the room. A feeling of nausea washed over me, like I had the worst case of the flu.

Once my eyes were capable of focusing again, I turned my head to take in the rest of the room. It was small and uncluttered. There was the cot I was occupying, a small bedside table, as well as two chairs, one on either side of me. Both were empty.

Knowing enough of my situation now, I began to worry.

Foreign room + cuffed to bed = bad situation.

I closed my eyes and breathed in through my nose and out through my mouth, trying to calm the fear that stampeded within me. My fear wouldn’t do me any good.

Think, Jolie, remember what happened
… I told myself.

All I could remember was practicing my self-defense lessons with Ryder outside, and Rand was there. I was pissed off about something…God, what was it? I couldn’t remember. Then I recalled the howl from the trees, and Rand had gone to inquire.

Oh, God, Rand…

A scream sounded within my ears but never birthed itself on my lips. What had happened to Rand? I just couldn’t remember. I shook my head against the images that visited me—thoughts of Rand being killed by a wolf. I opened my eyes, hoping to dispel the horrors playing underneath my eyelids.

Then I remembered Ryder’s fist. I closed my eyes against the fury that seized my heart and threatened to squeeze the life out of it. Tears burned the corners of my eyes.

“Are you hungry?”

I gasped as my eyes flew open and it took me a moment to focus on the face smiling down at me. I knew that face. Dark hair, blue eyes, handsome aquiline features. Yes, I definitely recognized the face, but my muddled mind couldn’t put a name to it. It wasn’t a face that caused me any sort of fear, actually, it was quite the opposite. The man was extremely attractive, and his smile helped to subdue the anxiety warring within me.

“What’s wrong with me?” My voice sounded foreign, and I wondered if I’d pass out. This had to be what someone on drugs felt like—only partially aware of her surroundings and in control of nothing.

“You are being subdued,” the man continued as he sat in the chair closest to my cot. “You need to eat.” His voice echo of hrough my head as if there were valleys and mountains between my ears. I fought to maintain my focus on him. He kept fading in and out, as if projected on a screen that someone kept moving.

I shook my head. “I’m…not hungry.”

“You have not eaten anything in three days, Jolie.”

He knew my name. A flurry of wasps attacked my stomach and I had to close my eyes against the wave of exhaustion that rode over me. “How do you know my name?”

“You do not remember me now, but you will in time.” His voice was so deep, so baritone and there was something different about it—an accent maybe? I kept my eyes closed, imagining it too great a task to even attempt to open them.

“Your memories will come back to you soon.”

“Tell me…what’s wrong…with me.”

“We had to subdue you so we…drained you.”

Drained me…I couldn’t quite grasp what that meant. I could only focus on the timbre of his voice, how it reminded me of waves crashing against rocks. Somehow, I thought I should pay attention to the part of the conversation where he’d said someone had drained me, but I just couldn’t.

He said something more, but his voice was unintelligible and before I knew it, I was laying in a field of the greenest grass, with a gnome whispering in my ear.

#

When I came to again, I wasn’t alone. I opened my eyes to see the dark haired man. I glanced down and found myself still cuffed to the hospital cot, a white blanket covering my lower half.

“How long was I out?”

“Perhaps an hour,” the man answered. I turned and noticed he was still holding the untouched soup. “You need to eat. Are you peckish?”

I had to imagine that meant hungry. But, I wasn’t much concerned with food at the moment—I was more thrilled with the fact that I actually had awakened with a bit of energy. “I want answers.”

He shook his head. “You eat and I will answer your questions.”

I sighed, but nodded and parted my lips as he spooned the now lukewarm soup into my mouth. As soon as the first bit went down, my body came to attention, my stomach clenching with hunger. He brought another spoonful, and I swallowed it quickly, licking my lips where some escaped.

“You must eat it slowly or you will be ill,” the man said and pulled the spoon away from my mouth, depositing it in the bowl.

There was a certain kindness in his blue eyes. I didn’t know why, but instinctively, I wanted to trust him. As soon as the thought dared assault my brain, I rebelled against the lunacy of it. What the hell was wrong with me? There was nothing good about this man—he was holing me against my will and then there was that whole drained business.

I’d lost my goddamned mind.

“You said you drained me, what does that mean?”

The man dropped his gaze. “You were going to fight us. We needed to ensure we had complete control over you, so we drank from you.”

I thought I might wretch up the soup I’d just consumed. Drank from me? The sudden need to search my neck for signs of puncture wounds overwhelmed me, and I strained against my bonds. “You’re a vampire?”

“Yes. And before you ask, no, you will not become one of us…”

“I already know that,” I snapped, feeling exhausted. “Why does drinking from me make me feel like this?”

“You do not have enough blood in your system to operate fully.”

Shock and fear surged through me, as if hell bent on waging a war, but I realized it was no use. I was completely alone, cuffed to a bed in a foreign and unfriendly place with a vampire keeping watch over me. A vampire who’d already helped himself to my blood.