First Bite (The Dark Wolf Series) (8 page)

Neva found herself in the midst of a nightmare—although she’d never felt such terrible pain in a dream before. She was trapped in her own body as it fought to become something else, something
other
. The bones in her face moved of their own volition, stretching, reshaping. Her back arched, and she screamed as her tailbone straightened and extended, as bone and muscle lengthened and shortened in her arms and legs. Her fingers released their agonized grip on the grass as they blunted and bound themselves into paws. Thousands of hot needles seemed to pierce her skin at once, and it crackled with static electricity as thick fur erupted everywhere. She felt all of these things and yet couldn’t awaken, couldn’t escape the nightmare. Couldn’t escape the pain. She struggled against it, fought it, and the agony immediately spiraled upward beyond anything she thought possible, until she felt as if she were being torn in two from the inside out. Stark terror set in as her body stubbornly refused to pass out.

Don’t fight it, you’re making it worse.

In the midst of the hell she was in, Travis’s voice was suddenly inside her head.

Stop fighting, Neva. Relax and go with it. It’ll be over soon. Just hang on and go with it. You’re safe, I promise you that.

Some of her panic subsided as she realized she wasn’t alone, and she clung to his words like a lifeline. Still, it seemed like hours before the pain began to ebb. When it did, she wasn’t
certain where she was. It was as if the nightmare had eased into a dream, in which she stood in a forest clearing transformed by the moon’s cold rays into a pool of silver light. Suddenly a large, dark wolf emerged from the foliage and pranced into the clearing with tail high. It was a beautiful creature—its legs and face were glossy black, but the rest of its thick, ebony pelt had dark-chocolate highlights in its luxurious depths. Still, Neva caught her breath as it turned and looked directly at
her
. For an instant she wanted to run away, but something in the wolf’s body language calmed her. It bounded over to her, playful and friendly as a Labrador despite its much larger size.

Finished now.

Those words, triumphant and plain, were inside her head just as Travis’s voice had been. Yet they were definitely not her own—were they? Neva frowned at the strange feel of them, their odd intonation, as if the words hadn’t come from a human throat.

You and me. One.

Insight flashed—the wolf was speaking in her mind! She looked down into its joyfully grinning face, and she couldn’t help smiling back. Then she noticed its unusual eyes.

“Omigod, those are—you are—
it’s me!
” The word
one
echoed in her brain over and over as she flailed awake.

Neva found herself a wolf. And in the arms of the man who had helped her become one.

Travis’s mouth quirked as Neva rolled upright and tried to stand, as wobbly legged as a fawn in her new body. She picked up a front foot and held it close to her eyes to examine it, splayed the clawed toes and wriggled them awkwardly. Then startled as her tail moved, and she turned to check it out as well. It eluded her at first, swinging away from her when she wanted to bring it closer, but eventually she got the hang of the muscles involved
and succeeded in pinning her tail to the ground with a paw, long enough to nose at its long fur. She snuffled along the thick pelt that covered her ribs as well, fascinated by the strange tang of her new scent. Opened and closed her jaws a few times—and bit her tongue in the process, jumping backward in pain and surprise.

He laughed out loud then, and she chuffed out a breath in annoyance and bared her teeth at him. He didn’t care. He needed to laugh at something out of sheer relief that she’d made it through the Change. She’d done well, too, in spite of having little or no preparation. In spite of her all-consuming fear.

“Guess we better take that body out for a test drive,” he said. “Let’s walk down to the lake.”

As he rose to his feet, he was foolish enough to turn his back to her—and she seized his left butt cheek with very sharp teeth in very strong jaws.

The yell barely left his lips before instinct kicked in. In a heartbeat he shifted form, sending Neva flying into a thicket some twenty feet away in a shower of blue sparks.

A few scattered sparks fell around Travis as well and winked out as they came in contact with the ground. The static leftovers of a Change left a distinctive whiff of ozone in the air, as if lightning was about to strike. Travis trotted in the direction Neva had been thrown, his alter ego royally pissed at him. Hell, he couldn’t blame the wolf for being upset—he was berating himself, too. Sure, a lot of years had passed, but how could he forget the hazards of being physically close to someone during the process? It was the first thing every shape-shifter child was taught. The build-up of energy could be downright dangerous, yet he hadn’t hesitated to Change or spared a thought to warn her. Whatever pack she’d come from clearly hadn’t bothered to tell her much of anything, either. He’d have something to say to them if he ever
met up with them, especially her responsibility-shirking sire. For now, maybe he needed to find Neva a mentor or something…

He found her lying on her side, gasping for breath in a tangle of elderberry, its bluish leaves gleaming under the bright night sky.

I really hate you.

It was loud and clear in his brain.
Your first words. How sweet.

Get out of my head. You’re not invited.

This is how Changelings communicate as wolves. Get used to it.
He picked his way through the bushes to get closer to her—although he was prepared to dodge if she decided to bite him again.
Are you okay?

My head hurts. No thanks to you.

Yeah, well, my ass hurts. No thanks to you.
Actually, it didn’t hurt a bit—shifting forms healed all but the most serious wounds. But he made a mental note not to turn his back on her again.
Come on, let’s head down to the lake now. You could probably use a drink.

Only if you have something a lot stronger than water down there. Tell me how to Change back.

He stopped when he realized she wasn’t following him.
What’s the problem?

I said I want to Change back. I want to be human. Tell me how.

Other than sapping most of her energy, there was no real reason she couldn’t do it. Except Travis suspected she’d never Change again. Not voluntarily, and that was a problem. The wolf could be controlled but not denied, and if she suppressed it long enough, eventually it would burst through on its own—and not necessarily at a convenient time. With a mental picture of Neva suddenly shifting to wolf form in the middle of a shopping mall, he made up a bullshit story out of some partial truths. “You need to move
around a bit first, flex and stretch those muscles after what they’ve just been through. If you don’t, it could have a negative effect on your human body.” She studied his face with skepticism, and he was suddenly glad for all the poker games he’d played over the decades. “Your body’s got to have some time to recover, too, before you go shifting back to human. Not only did you just make your first Change, your injuries have healed up. That takes energy.”

How long do I have to stay like this?

A few hours—three or four at the very least. Later, you won’t need so much time.

The moonlight dappled the forest floor as Travis loped easily through the brush. He could hear Neva behind him, struggling as she tried to run on four feet. Everyone had trouble with that at first—mostly because everyone approached it like a bipedal human.
Relax and let your wolf take over.

I’m not letting the damn wolf take over anything.

The determination in her words was underpinned by fear. Travis slowed and waited for her to catch up. He stepped off the trail, allowing her to go ahead.

She showed her teeth at him as she passed.
Don’t you even think about sniffing my butt!

Well, there goes all
my
fun for the evening.
He allowed her a respectable lead, then fell in behind and studied her gait. It was smooth as running water for a few yards, using the effortless ground-eating trot of natural wolves. It was obvious, however, when Neva wrestled control away from her alter ego. One foot would get out of sync and the trot dissolved into more of a lurch. Like trying to drive standard after a lifetime of automatic vehicles, Travis decided. As long as she had time to think about it, she was never going to relax and enjoy being a Changeling. He launched himself forward and blasted past her, nipping her ear along the way.
Tag, you’re it.

I’m not playing, you jerk.

You’re just saying that because you can’t catch me.
He stopped on the trail ahead, taunting her, wagging his tail and leaning over his front paws like a dog that wants to play. Neva might not want to join the game, but he was betting that her lupine side would love to.

I could if I wanted to—hey!

The dark wolf suddenly leaped ahead and charged straight for him. Travis barely had time to spin around and take off. To his surprise, Neva stopped fighting her animal persona and kept up with him. He dodged and feinted but couldn’t shake her off. The pair of them raced through the forest and out to the grassy shoreline of the lake, where they splashed through the reeds and shallows. Away from the trees, the full moon was blindingly white in a clear sky, reflecting brightly in the calm waters, and every drop of water the wolves disturbed was a bead of purest silver. Time slowed down, and Travis gave himself over to running for the pure joy of it, jaws grinning, tongue lolling. Neva appeared to do so as well, giving up the chase in favor of loping easily beside him.

He’d forgotten what a simple pleasure it could be to have companionship. Without a pack for so many years, he’d denied himself any contact with his kind. It was better that way. Easier. Or so he told himself. Besides, there was always that little voice in his head telling him that he didn’t deserve the comfort of a friend…or a mate.

Neva slowed, pausing to lap up water as she waded through the reeds. Travis’s momentum sent him dashing ahead for several strides before he realized she’d dropped back. He came bouncing back, splashing her thoroughly, knowing that the guard hairs of her outer coat would repel most of the water. She gave him a look, but he ignored it.

She sniffed and sighed.
Glad that
you’re
enjoying yourself.

And you’re not?
He didn’t believe that for a moment. A new wolf that was properly nurtured and protected through its first Change was an awful lot like a puppy at first. A brand-new world begged to be explored with senses far more acute than anything a human could imagine.
I’ll bet you’re afraid to enjoy it.

I’m not afraid. I just don’t want to get used to it. Tell me how to Change back now.

Why do you have to be such a control freak? Your wolf isn’t out to run your life, you know.

Maybe, maybe not, but someone else is. And I’m not giving her any opportunity to take over. Now hurry up and tell me what to do.

Travis shook his big shaggy head.
So you’re not afraid of your wolf, but you
are
afraid of your sire.

Anyone with half a brain is afraid of her. Quit stalling and help me.

I
am
helping you. If you think that your sire is any less able to command you when you’re human, you’re dead wrong.

Neva stared at him with horror in her eyes, then suddenly struck out for deep water. Travis didn’t even try to follow her. Instead, he turned and waded to shore, where he took his time carefully shaking out his fur. Finally he sat and watched Neva’s frantic efforts, knowing full well what she was trying to do.

And knowing exactly how it would turn out.

Neva’s mood was dismal when she finally clambered out of the water. It was further soured as she discovered Travis sleeping in a thick patch of clover.
Sleeping
, for heaven’s sake. While she was out there, while she was…The truth abruptly dawned on her.

You knew, didn’t you?

He yawned and stretched.
Yeah, I knew. I knew what you were trying to do, and I knew your wolf wouldn’t allow you to harm yourself.

It won’t allow…hey, you said it wasn’t out to run my life!

Under normal circumstances, it’s not. But your wolf runs on instinct, and instinct programs every creature to fight to survive no matter what. And it won’t make any difference if you’re in human form when you try to off yourself—your wolf will not only take over, it will Change you no matter where you are and who you’re with. Understand? If you’re in the middle of Grand Central Station and your wolf thinks you’re in danger, it will rise up and defend you. Even from yourself.

She sat abruptly.
You knew this would happen. You knew all along that if you could just make me turn—

I’m a Changeling—of course I knew what would happen. But you make it sound like I planned it. I didn’t
make
you Change.

Yes, you did. You kept me alive. I had everything under control until
you
came along.

Since when does jumping off a fucking cliff mean things are under control?

He was on his feet now, tawny fur bristling, broad head lowered and lips pulled back to expose his long, sharp teeth. It wasn’t so long ago that Neva would have been terrified to be up close and personal with a seriously pissed-off wolf. Now it just irritated her.

Don’t you dare growl at me, mister. I’m the one who has to spend the rest of my life in hiding, thanks to you.
And right now, she had no idea where on earth, literally, she could hide. South America? China? How big was Meredith’s network? It already seemed like her spies were everywhere.

Travis shook himself hard.
There are no wolves in South America. You’d stick out like a sore thumb there. Why don’t you
tell me about this sire of yours and maybe we can figure something out.