First Impressions: A Tale of Less Pride & Prejudice (Tales of Less Pride and Prejudice) (7 page)

Jane looked down, her face scarlet, and quietly said, “Yes Mr. Bingley. I am most honored,” before looking up and bestowing on him the most radiant smile he had received from her yet. A few minutes later when Elizabeth and Darcy, having taken a conveniently timed walk, cautiously entered the room, so lost were the happy couple in each other that they did not notice their quiet, approving presence for several moments. Finally spotting her sister, Jane rose from her chair and moved forward to embrace her. “Oh Lizzy, tis by far too much! I do not deserve it. Oh! Why is not everybody so happy!” she exclaimed as Elizabeth laughed, assuring her that she was deserving of all her present joy and a lifetime more. Darcy and Bingley shared a hearty handshake before the latter greeted Elizabeth in kind, as was now his brotherly right. It was a celebratory party Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst walked in upon soon after, much to the former’s chagrin.

Mr. Bingley escorted the ladies to Longbourn following Matins to request a private conference with Mr. Bennet. Parental consent to the match was expressed readily and simply by Mr. Bennet; Mrs. Bennet’s approval was a bit more verbose. “Oh my dear, dear Jane! I am so happy I know not what I shall do! I said how it would be all along – you could not be so beautiful for nothing!” Her sisters too were anxious to share in Jane’s joy. Mary petitioned for the use of the library at Netherfield while Kitty and Lydia begged very hard for a ball.

Chapter 9

“
I hope, my dear,” Mr. Bennet interrupted his wife’s wedding plans over breakfast, “that you have ordered a good dinner today because I have reason to suspect an addition to our family party.”

“
Oh dear, yes. I had not considered that. Mr. Bingley will be joining us and perhaps Mr. Darcy as well! Unfortunately there is not a bit of fish to be got today.”

“
Actually I put Mr. Bingley off for tonight and, while I cannot say what plans Mr. Darcy may have, I can assure you that it is another gentleman entirely that I am expecting – a stranger whom I never saw in the whole course of my life.”

The table came alive with speculation; so successfully had Mr. Bennet ignited his families interest that a few minutes actually went by before they resumed the wedding buzz.

“
Perhaps it is one of the officers?” Lydia suggested.

“
Or yet another handsome bachelor has entered the neighborhood?” Kitty guessed.

“
Fancy three unmarried men of good fortune in one month! When two have been enough to undo us? Surely such bounty is excessive,” laughed Elizabeth.

Even Mary commented: “An older gentleman, full of the sobriety and wisdom of his age, would not be unwelcome.” How anti-climatic was Mr. William Collins’ appearance after such a build up? Severely.

Mrs. Bennet was particularly vexed, somewhat understandably, whenever the estate’s entail upon this unknown and uncared for distant cousin was mentioned. But by the time of his arrival, her anticipation of an introduction was only surpassed by Mr. Bennet’s, who always delighted in the ridiculous and was certain, by the tone of his letter, that Mr. Collins was a prime specimen. When Mrs. Bennet read the missive, she was more taken with the intimation that he would marry one of her many daughters than with the man’s idiocy, which she characteristically failed to perceive. This did much to change her response to Mr. Collins and erased most of the precipitous prejudice she harbored towards him, so that upon his arrival, he found himself quite cordially welcomed by the lady of the house instead of being subjected to her spleen, all traces of animosity temporarily forgotten.

Unfortunately, little was better suited to revive Mrs. Bennet’s ill will towards Mr. Collins than to witness the heir of Longbourn’s praise of the home’s interior, with a poorly disguised eye to future ownership, but the knowledge and security of Jane’s good fortune buoyed her spirits. With zeal she announced the recent engagement and relished the disappointment that registered in Mr. Collins’ approving eye. Mrs. Bennet might have been oblivious to much but she was keenly observant of any interest displayed by an eligible man in her daughters. Certainly she noticed Mr. Collins turning the focus of his appraisal towards Elizabeth and pettishly looked forward to further frustrating his hopes.

Mr. Bennet was not disappointed in of his guest. There was much in which to find amusement that evening as Mr. Collins determinedly set to informing the Bennets of every detail regarding his fortunate situation as rector of Hunsford, his magnanimous patroness Lady Catherine de Bourgh, and her magnificent estate, Rosings Park. Upon having heard enough of this to fully assess Mr. Collins’ eligibility, Mrs. Bennet made several attempts to turn the conversation back towards Jane’s wedding, which remained her most pressing interest despite the unexpected visitor. Back and forth they attempted to speak over each other and control the tide of conversation, creating quite a racket in the process. Though he had rarely been so thoroughly diverted, even Mr. Bennet’s love of the ridiculous had its limits; once he felt his hostly duties had been fulfilled he was happy to redirect his guest’s attention, requesting he entertain the ladies by reading aloud while eagerly escaping to his library.

A small conflict arose regarding what Mr. Collins should read, an incident which did nothing to enhance that gentleman’s opinion of his two youngest cousins. Fordyce’s Sermons was finally selected, to Lydia’s great chagrin. Not three pages in she rudely interrupted the reading with a bit of supremely trivial gossip, so affronting Mr. Collins that he almost refused to continue. Though many assurances were given of the audience’s attentiveness, he was most stubbornly insistent that he would not read on until Mary placated him thusly: “It has often been observed, sir, that those in the most need of instruction are those who will resist it most fiercely. Surely the greatest attribute of the clergyman is his persistence in times of trial, great and small, tending to even the most unwieldy members of the flock.”

To everyone’s great surprise, this pedantic appeal was received graciously. Mary experienced the rare pleasure of having her words heeded and, though Lydia could only be described as stunned by such an occurrence, Kitty could acknowledge feeling a bit impressed by the middle Bennet girl’s rare, if odd, display of social acumen. Jane and Elizabeth were pleased to see Mary experience some triumph and Mrs. Bennet, in an instant, concocted great plans for her previously least-interesting daughter. And as for Mr. Collins, as he droned on for more than an hour, he had ample time to appreciate his cousin Mary’s good sense and attentive, if plain, countenance. He even managed to find a moment to bemoan the loss of such a practical lady, for his purpose at Longbourn was transparently none other than to choose amongst his cousins a wife. Knowing this to be his goal he had already, in his very brief time in the house, determined that Elizabeth would be the recipient of his courtly attentions, this decision made immediately upon learning of Jane’s engagement and seeming quite sensible, Elizabeth being next in both birth and beauty. The match would be highly suitable, remarkably convenient, and he had every confidence his cousin would deem it likewise.

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After making such a stalwart resolution one might think that Mr. Collins would have been disheartened the next morning when, upon finding himself tête-à-tête with Mrs. Bennet, he received a caution against pursuit of the very Elizabeth he had fixed on, but then one would not be accounting for the flexibility of this astonishing specimen of humanity. For a conversation beginning with his parsonage house and leading naturally to the avowal of his hopes that a mistress for it might be found at Longbourn, elicited this presumptuous comment from his hostess, “I have reason to believe, sir, that Lizzy’s affections are already quite attached to a wealthy gentleman of large fortune who has recently come into the neighborhood, though I know of no existing predisposition amongst my younger daughters.”

It was a natural progression for Mr. Collins to turn his sight on the next chronologically eligible daughter, despite some understandable disappointment that the ladies of the house were not as ripe for the picking as he had imagined. There was some minor indignation to overcome as he felt his station entitled him to the pick of the litter, but his eager mind quickly perceived how much more appropriate Mary would be as a companion at Rosings than the elder, more showy Bennet girls. Though not a sensible man, no one would dare underestimate how keenly aware Mr. Collins was of his duty to his illustrious patroness and her daughter; readily he grasped at the notion that Miss Mary would be of far more assistance in upholding his claim that Miss De Bourgh was superior to the handsomest of her sex (and other such homages he thought due the ladies) than a sparkling Miss Elizabeth or breathtaking Miss Bennet.

In many more words than need be recounted here, Mr. Collins assured Mrs. Bennet that he would very much enjoy getting better acquainted with her middle daughter. What were her pursuits and accomplishments? Happily Mrs. Bennet recounted Mary’s diligence and piety, suddenly valuing these qualities more than she ever had before. What a surprise blessing a household of daughters could prove to be! Mary was perfect for Mr. Collins – it now appeared that she had been raised purposefully for the role of clergyman’s wife and Mrs. Bennet happily took the credit for educating one of her daughters thusly. She treasured up the hint from Mr. Collins and trusted she might soon have three daughters advantageously settled. Mr. Collins, formerly loathed and despised from afar, now stood high in her good graces.

Though Mary was not privy to this conversation she would not have found it disagreeable. It was difficult being the middle child amongst such sisters and she had often experienced great anxiety regarding her desirability. Mrs. Bennet’s constant preoccupation with the disposal of her daughters only heightened these concerns: each of the many times her mother bemoaned their fate should Mr. Bennet die, Mary would picture her particular lot in that scenario and saw much to bemoan. Surely her prettier, livelier sisters would make matches of some sort or another but what was she to do? Work as a governess? Spend her life caring for an aging and unloving mother? While she had long ago determined that she would not shirk from fulfilling whatever role life demanded from her, she also prayed fervently that it would be one of wife, not caretaker. So when Mr. Collins began to pay her attentions she felt both flattered and receptive, having rarely been the focus of masculine notice. From her perspective Mr. Collins was an excellent match – she honored his profession, his role as her father’s heir, and the good sense he showed in wishing for a practical and pious wife above a beautiful one.

After parting from Mr. Collins, Mrs. Bennet rushed into the library in order to share her good news, “Mr. Bennet! Oh Mr. Bennet it is too perfect!”

“
What is it my dear?”

“
Mr. Collins of course! He is interested in our Mary! She will make the perfect clergyman’s wife and break that odious entail. Have I not arranged everything admirably?”

“
It is your affair to arrange as you will, Mrs. Bennet,” he replied, barely containing the smile that threatened to destroy his nonchalant mask. “If you desire to live out your years in residence with Mr. Collins the match will of course receive my blessing, but I for one will be glad to be dead, buried, and rid of the man.”

“
Oh, how you do vex me Mr. Bennet!” she exclaimed before bustling back out the door. Mr. Bennet listened to the sound of her shrill voice as it carried down the hall before standing and moving to the window. There he spent many happy moments envisioning his grandchildren, the future heirs of Longbourn, playing merrily on its ancient lawn.

Thus an unusual courtship began, quite devoid of the usual flirtations. Mr. Collins listened to Mary play, not in order to admire her image but for the felicitation of praising both her execution and dedicated practice, “Lady Catherine is quite convinced that proficiency can only be achieved with much daily diligence.” Mary listened to Mr. Collins expound on his many duties at Hunsford with sincere interest, “Your very proper and prudent devotion to your benefactress is highly admirable.” Jane saw the transformation that happiness brought to her normally solemn sister’s demeanor and rejoiced. Elizabeth also approved of the couple, though she could not but laugh at their passionless discourse. Kitty, while happy for her sister, was peevish enough to wonder why Mr. Collins would look to Mary instead of herself, even though she had not the slightest desire for his attentions, and Lydia was totally perplexed that anyone, even a clergyman, could attend to Mary’s quotations and moralizations. Mr. Collins’ notice was no loss to her.

Chapter 10

Mr. Bingley spent an entire, seemingly endless day anxiously awaiting the moment when he would be reunited with his betrothed. Of little else could he speak, making life at Netherfield rather awkward with Miss Bingley still refusing to utter a word on the matter and Mr. Darcy even more quiet and brooding than usual. The burden of her brother’s spirits therefore fell on Louisa Hurst, who found herself anticipating the moment when Charles could finally set off almost as much as he did. On Tuesday, following breakfast, she became so impatient that she encouraged him to leave as soon as possible, despite the dictates of etiquette. So when it became clear that Mr. Darcy intended to accompany his friend on the visit, in spite of the breach of propriety such an early call entailed, Mrs. Hurst took notice. Unlike so many others, she had not taken Darcy’s interest in Elizabeth Bennet to be serious – obviously he liked the girl but the notion of him marrying so far beneath him was ridiculous. Or was it? “If Mr. Darcy should actually marry Elizabeth Bennet,” she wondered with a glance at her sulky sister, “it would certainly raise the status of Charles’ match.” This notion did much to improve her feelings towards her future sister and she decided to go out of her way to extend friendship to the two eldest Bennet ladies – after all, she did have to compensate for Caroline’s behavior. Silently she prayed that her sister had given up, once and for all, the notion of being a Darcy but, unfortunately, she had no way of knowing for Caroline had ceased to confide in her.