First (Wrong) Impressions: A Modern Pride & Prejudice (8 page)

Everyone exchanged glances. Charles seemed keen on the idea of living with Jane, however temporarily, but Caroline, Darcy, and Lizzy were on Team Dubious.

“Plus, it’s Maria and Denny’s wedding this weekend. Everyone can get ready at the apartment and we can carpool. It’ll save a lot of driving.”

Lizzy swallowed her pride. “I’d be happy if you all came to stay.”

Seriously, this was the worst day of her life; William fucking Darcy was moving in. God in heaven, have mercy upon her soul when she kills the pompous ass in a pique of rage.

Chapter 8

September 26

If being a rebel at weddings was a sign that a man was in love, Charles Bingley was fabulously and marvellously in love with Jane Bennet. He violated the strict wedding etiquette of church seating by sitting with Jane under “Friends of the Bride”. That meant Darcy sat with them, because William Darcy was unable to sit a half hour without his BFF. That of course brought Caroline over.

Lizzy hated weddings. She blamed her mother’s unrivalled obsession; Mom wanted giant, white weddings for her daughters, followed by lots and lots of babies. Lizzy tried to laugh it off with the justification that it was her Mom’s business. Literally, since she made wedding dresses. And, Lizzy had to begrudgingly admit, catering to women with physical disabilities, answering unique requests like historical gowns, and making dresses for large women worked very well for her mother. It was the perfect job, since she got to be happy about weddings constantly.

Unfortunately, it was the worst situation for Lizzy, since her mother got to be happy about weddings constantly, and moan about how Lizzy was clearly never going to get married.

And Lizzy was already exhausted from double shifts and she’d just started them. Viral pneumonia was going around at The Faith, and everyone who hadn’t gotten their vaccinations, a.k.a. all of the volunteers and new staff who wouldn’t listen to her, were now off sick. Ed was on stress leave for a few days; he’d gotten punched and was rattled.

There was no judgment over taking stress leave or even the occasional mental health day. They’d all taken it at some point, including Lizzy. Though she and Luke had so much lieu time saved up that they just called it a mental health break, but it was all the same thing. The downside to mental health breaks, however, was that everyone else’s mental health got battered in the process.

So, she’d worked the food bank that morning and was answering her most pressing emails at the wedding. Tacky, yes. Necessary, absolutely. With the merger deal in full swing, Lizzy had to sign off on a number of agreements and add her concerns, complaints, and be the wet blanket that Melissa and Luke expected her to be about the entire process.

Darcy, who was sitting next to her because God hated her, leaned closer and whispered, “Even I put down my cell phone at weddings.”

Darcy’s breath was hot on her ear and Lizzy jumped. Charles and Jane, who were sitting behind them, both chuckle-coughed.

She ignored the happy couple and scowled at Darcy. “This is the only time I can answer these emails.”

“Is there anything I can assist with?”

“Um, unless you can make twenty thousand dollars magically appear in my bank account, cure all of my volunteers, and make four hundred pounds of sugar drop from the sky, no.”

“I can’t do any of that.”

Lizzy threw up her hands. “There you go. Besides, I hate long weddings. Why do people need to have freaking sermons? Ugh. Have you noticed that the preacher hasn’t even addressed Maria at all, other than when he did his, ‘the man is the head of the household’ bit? Ugh. I hate sexism in the guise of religion.”

Darcy opened his mouth to speak, but Mom turned and
shooshed
Lizzy so loudly that even Luke, who was the best man, gave Lizzy an annoyed look. Darcy turned his attention back to the wedding, scowling. Lizzy, feeling a little guilty, put the damned phone away and sat stewing for the rest of the funeral.

Erm, wedding.

****

Not only was Charles a rebel at the church, but he rebelled at the reception too. He snuck into the reception hall under the guise of “part of the wedding party” and returned moments later with a wide grin on his face. When Jane asked what he’d done, he gave her a peck on the cheek and said, “Patience, love. It’s a surprise.”

Lizzy did an internal fangirl cheer. He’d called her love.

Darcy hovered around like those annoying fruit flies that cling to bananas. Seriously, the dude would not go away. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he talked to her, but he would not speak. He didn’t even smile. He just stood there, fucking foreboding.

They were all famished, since Maria and Denny’s photos took three freaking hours to take. Why didn’t they just get them done before the wedding? That way, people didn’t have to stand around making silent bets on the evitable cannibalism that was certain to ensue if dinner wasn’t served immediately.

Lizzy pulled out her cell phone and tweeted.

@LizzyB1: I hate weddings.

A moment later, Maria tweeted her back.

@Maria_Char: Shoosh, you. @LizzyB1

Lizzy laughed.

@LizzyB1: I don’t hate @Maria_Char’s wedding. Just all weddings.

@LizzyB1: I’m totally going to shack up and live in sin.

A moment later, she got a reply:

@fw2darcy: Your mother will be devastated. @LizzyB1

Wait, who? Darcy? No way. Lizzy spun around and found him head down in his Blackberry with a small grin on his face.

Bastard.

Fine. Two could play at this game.

@LizzyB1: Hey @fw2darcy, most people spend time at a wedding talking to people.

@fw2darcy: I was merely following your example @LizzyB1

Then the alert popped up:
@fw2darcy is following you.

Of course he was.

Nine hundred hours later, they were finally allowed into the reception hall. It was filled with butterflies and hearts and other cheesy love shit.

Lydia gleefully exclaimed, “This is so awesome! I totally helped decorate last night.”

“Of course you did,” Lizzy commented.

When they went looking for their seats, however, Lizzy realized the seating plan Maria had agonized over had been altered. She was not sitting with Maria and Luke’s pervy uncle who would have talked to her boobs the entire evening. Instead, she was sitting next to Charles, Jane, Caroline, and, oh yeah, Darcy. This was what Charles had been fixing when he’d sneaked into the reception hall. Oh, he was going to get into trouble with Maria when she found out!

Frankly, Lizzy would have preferred the pervy uncle. At least he talked to her. Well, to parts of her, in any case.

Jane and Charles ignored the rest of the table for most of the meal, focusing on each other and giggling like sixteen-year-old virgins. It was adorable. Caroline and Darcy chatted about business and Lizzy pulled out her cell to keep on emailing.

“You’d rather text than hang out,” Caroline said to Lizzy. “That’s rather anti-social.”

“Lizzy Bennet despises people,” Charles teased. “She hates wedding receptions and would much rather be head-deep in emails and text messages.”

Lizzy put the phone down. “That’s not fair. I need to catch up on work, that’s all.”

“Even Darcy puts his phone away sometimes,” Caroline said. “I’m a firm believer in working smarter, not harder.”

“When you’re down three-quarters of your staff,” Lizzy explained patiently, “you have to work smarter and harder. It’s like a BOGO event.”

“Is there anything you can do about the shortage?”

She shot Darcy an annoyed expression. “Don’t you think I would have done something, if there was something to do, as opposed to spending my best friend’s little sister’s wedding emailing?”

He frowned, but didn’t reply.

Jane seemed startled. “Lizzy, that was rude.”

Lizzy glanced at Darcy, who had his head down, examining his roast beef.

“Darcy, just ignore her,” said Jane.

“Hey! Whose side are you on anyway?”

Jane lifted her chin. “The side that isn’t being rude because she’s worked two hundred hours in the last two weeks.”

Charles gasped. “Seriously?”

Even Darcy looked up from his food.

“Jane’s exaggerating.”

Jane, for her part, put her fork down. “Okay, Lizzy. How many hours have you worked in the last two weeks? Before you answer, remember Luke is here and he’ll tell me, because I know he’s working as hard as you.”

“A hundred and seventy,” Lizzy muttered under her breath. “Or so. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Lizzy, that’s a lot of hours,” Darcy said.

“Well, I have a lot of homeless.”

Darcy glanced at Charles. Charles shrugged.

“Ignore Lizzy. She didn’t have a chance to unwind from work before coming here.”

“Jane…”

“It’s true. She’s always cranky when she gets home from work.”

“Jane!” Lizzy insisted.

“Darcy is like that, too,” Caroline said. “His work consumes all of his waking hours.”

“You two are a lot alike.” Charles’s laugh was cut short, however, by both Lizzy’s and Caroline’s death glares.

Lizzy took a deep breath. “I apologize, Darcy. I was unnecessarily rude to you and I didn’t mean to be.”

He inclined his head. “And I apologize for snipping at you.”

“Hey! We should come by and help,” Charles said. “Darcy, whatca say? Caroline?”

“I’m busy supervising the painting, Charles, you know that.” At her brother’s insistent look, she conceded, “I can probably find some time, I suppose.”

“I’m free tomorrow evening,” Darcy said.

Lizzy sighed. “You guys, I appreciate the offer, but…”

Jane tutted. “Why can’t they help? You have no problem calling us in when you’re short.”

“That’s different. You’re family.” She eyed Darcy and gave a wide grin. “They’re still potential donors.”

Charles burst into laughter, but Darcy and Caroline seemed less pleased. Charles shook his head. “We’ll be there tomorrow night. Get ready for badly-washed dishes and cold food.”

“Deal,” Lizzy said with a smile.

****

Darcy’s gaze was on her. Whenever she caught his eye, he looked away. She couldn’t figure out why he kept staring. It certainly wasn’t because he liked her, but that would mean it was because he didn’t like her, which seemed strange, too. Perhaps it was simply because her entire being offended him.

That thought satisfied and didn’t give her any pain whatsoever. She liked him too little to care what he thought of her or her gutter-living ways.

The DJ started the power ballads. Jane and Charles smiled at each other and took to the dance floor where they snuggled close. Lizzy was so happy to see Jane laughing; she’d not danced since the accident. Luke came over and asked Caroline to dance. That left Lizzy and Darcy and his Judgy Eyes. Wonderful. Lizzy went back to emailing; Darcy went back to his roast beef.

A few dances and emails later, Darcy cleared his throat. “You’re a Michael Bolton fan, right?”

Lizzy ignored him, trying to listen to the song: her favourite Bolton song, about living without love.

“Lizzy?” He said a little louder, a hint of surprise in his voice. “This is your favourite song, right?”

She looked up. “I heard you the first time.”

Confusion spread across his face. “I suppose you want to dance.”

She put her phone down. “I see through your question. You want to make fun of me. So, no, I don’t want to dance. So you can go ahead and despise me for seeing through you.”

She wasn’t sure what she expected, but it wasn’t what happened next.

Darcy didn’t frown or glare. No, Darcy did nothing like that. Instead, he looked into her eyes, his voice went just a touch husky, and he said, with a small smile, “I’d never
dare
despise you.”

Seriously? That was his comeback? Ugh. She rolled her eyes, though she couldn’t help but smile a little at the silliness, and went back to her phone.

The evening dragged on for an eternity, with Charles dancing with Jane nearly all night. He did ask Lizzy for a couple of dances, and she accepted. Darcy sat at the table all night, though he did dance with Caroline whenever Charles managed to drag Lizzy away. Luke also danced with Lizzy a couple of times.

Around midnight, when Lizzy was barely conscious, Charles stormed over to Darcy and said, “Dude, come on. You have to dance. I can’t stand seeing you sitting around by yourself.”

“You know I hate dancing with strangers.”

Charles lowered his voice. “Lizzy has been sitting here all night.”

“I’m not in the mood to dance,” Lizzy piped up before Darcy asked her to completely ruin the evening. “I’m exhausted and I’m just waiting for a ride home. I’m too tired to drive.”

“I can drive you,” Darcy said. “Or call a cab?”

Charles rolled his eyes.

“I’m waiting for Luke. He’s giving Jane and me a ride back.” Lizzy, remembering her chiding earlier, added, “But thank you for offering. It’s about fifty bucks for a cab from here. I’ll just wait.”

Charles shrugged. “All right then.”

Unfortunately, Charles and Jane didn’t stop dancing until 2 a.m. and, by then, Luke was too tired to drive, Charles, Darcy, and Caroline had drunk too much, and Mary had to chauffeur them all home in the van.

Worst wedding ever.

Chapter 9

October 4

There was a slight problem with the whole rich-people invasion of Lizzy’s house: it was their turn to host Sunday dinner. So that meant Mom, Dad, Mary, Lydia, Jane, Lizzy, Caroline, Darcy, and Charles would all be eating supper.

Together.

At the same time.

Mom was loud, even by her usual standards, and Lydia was extra-hyper and obnoxious. Introductions were made, since James Bennet hadn’t actually spoken to Caroline or Darcy at the wedding. He’d been busy watching his wife make a fool of herself.

Mom lavished attention on Charles, to the point that Dad actually stepped up to her and said, in his usual monotone, sarcasm-laced voice, “Leave the poor man alone.”

“Oh, shoosh, you. Charles Bingley doesn’t mind an old lady fussing at him, now do you, my love?”