Flaming Zeppelins (15 page)

“He is no longer your friend,” Cat said. “You don't know that,” Annie said. Cat shrugged.

“Cody will come through all right,” Hickok said. “I've known him for years.”

“What about the Frankenstein monster?” Annie said. “We find a way off, we'll take him too,” Hickok said. “Why?” Cat said. “He's just a monster. Made from dead bodies.” Hickok and Annie exchanged looks. Cat had become all too human.

“Do you know how long Doctor Momo will be busy?”

“All day. Until four o'clock sharp. I serve tea then. I have to prepare it at three.”

“Then let's have a quick looksee,” Hickok said.

There was a switch on the wall. Cat flipped it. Electric lights flared in the tunnel. Once inside, Cat pulled the trap down, then used a string that went through the trap and attached to the rug. When she tugged it, it pulled the carpet back in place.

They proceeded along the tunnel rapidly, soon came to a short flight of stairs. At the top of the stairs was a bolted door.

Bull pushed aside the bolt, lifted the trap, climbed out.

The others followed, found themselves standing in a small clearing surrounded by thick trees.

Cat pointed. “Over there is where they live. The beast men.”

“We have met them already,” Hickok said.

“Ugh,” Bull said. “No like.”

“We have to be very quiet, and go out and along the beach,” Cat said. “They will hear us making noise if we stay in the jungle. Sometimes they are bad tempered.”

“Then we should walk carefully, by all means,” Annie said.

“Now,” said Doctor Momo to Cody. “We can go about this different ways. Each has its strengths and drawbacks. Before we start, I would like to outline them for you.”

They were in Momo's laboratory. Cody's head was on a work table. Jack was in the corner, eager to respond to Momo's orders. Ned was nearby, positioned so he could see Buffalo Bill.

“We could graft,” Momo said. “This means we take appendages and sew them to you. Not the best way. You would be not too unlike the Frankenstein monster, except you would never have been dead. Least not completely. Also, you might not be able to match all the body parts. And, right now, it would be monkey body parts, since that's what's available. So, we will agree, not a good way?”

“Not a good way,” Cody said.

“Two. We use a large fragment of human flesh, mix it with chemicals, graft it to your body, and it will grow, reproducing whatever it should reproduce. It's a complex method. You have to code the cells to work in coordination with little tidbits in your brain that already know how to reproduce.”

“Then why don't they?”

“That's my discovery, Colonel Cody. Reading Darwin put me onto it. It caused me to dismiss my other methods, the methods I used on the animals. Catherine is made up of both methods. Grafting through surgery. The mare's reproductive organs, for example. And cell regeneration. Here's an example. Take a lizard. It can lose its tail, and can grow another. Inside our brains is a kind of signal that tells the body to repair itself. It does that in small ways. Healing wounds for example. Fighting disease. But it is only successful to a certain point. You lose an arm. Or, as in your case, a body, the brain can not replace that. It knows how, actually, but it can't do it, because for some reason that ability in man lies dormant. Go figure. You would think that would be something we would need and nature would keep, but let me tell you, nature is not organized. That bullshit about how everything fits together in nature and it's organized is three million pounds of wet bullshit. It is chaotic my friend. Evolution is chaotic. There is no grand design. That ability lies dormant in us all. What I have done is I have found a way to activate it.”

“Then why do you need to add flesh at all?” Cody asked. “Can't you just spur that ability, have it grow what it needs?”

“Alas, that is my goal. But I am not there yet. So far I can duplicate what all my colleagues have done. I can bring things back from the dead. Never works out. They want a soul. They do not like themselves. They want to be loved like children. Just a disaster. I can duplicate the work of Professor Maxxon. I can grow flesh in chemicals. But, it turns out a little messy. An eyeball here. An eyeball there. That kind of thing. Surgery. Well, that's okay, but not good enough. Surgery with a bit of chemical growth, that was my best way until lately. The beasts that call themselves men, they were successes until I found my most recent method. Then they no longer seemed successful, so I put them on the other side of the island. I don't like looking at my failures. This is some clever shit, that's what I am trying to tell you. And I will become cleverer yet when I activate the brain to the extent that chemicals and flesh are not needed. At that point, I will be ready to return to the mainland and claim my prizes of recognition. I love prizes…I'm sure you could introduce me to some important people once we were ready to do that…return to the mainland. You could, couldn't you? People with money?”

“I suppose…so we can begin today?”

“We can. And we will. But it will only be a partial success today.”

“Partial?”

“It is best, Colonel Cody, if I do what we need to do for today, and we discuss what we can do in the future later. Are you ready?”

“I am…will it hurt?”

“Oh, you bet. Especially the way I do it.

“Jack, take the good colonel out of the jar will you, and leave the battery and important items intact. We would not want any little accidents, would we, Colonel Cody?”

“I presume not.”

“Oh, Colonel, let me tell you, there is no presuming. It would not be positive. Your head would be good for nothing more than something to kick about.”

Jack looked up. The idea seemed to appeal to him.

“Yes, then, be damn careful of my battery,” Cody said.

“Jackie,” Momo said. “No little accidents for your own pleasure. You do that, Doctor Momo will graft something funny onto you. Understand?”

Jack drooped. “I understand, Doctor.”

“Then do your job. And when it's done, will you please get a piece of my old penis from the refrigerator.”

“Penis?” Cody said. “What the hell is that for?”

“It is sort of like sourdough starter, Colonel. I add it to my chemicals, it melts, produces a kind of plaster. I apply it to your body, activate the regeneration area of your brain, at least as much as I am able to reactivate it, and it begins to grow.”

“An entire body? I'm not going to be just a big dick, am I?”

“That is part of the drawback. No. Only kidding. Some might think you're already a big dick.”

“Watch your mouth, buster.”

“Oh, are you going to spring off your neck and bite me, Colonel?”

Cody fumed.

Jack laughed.

“Relax now. Let's not worry our pretty head over words. Right now, you have to deal with the pain.”

Cody's head, battery intact, was placed directly in front of the doctor on a tray. Jack went to the refrigerator. Doctor Momo picked up a scalpel. He held it up to the electric light. “Good. It is sharp. On the monster I had a dull one. He found it most uncomfortable. Even for a dead man.”

“Is your penis in a pink bowl, or one of the metal ones?” Jack called.

“It's just a small piece of flesh, Jack. In one of the metal bowls. Please do not mix it up with one of the other chunks. Those are all different animals and such. We would not want the colonel's new body parts to be covered in hair. Or if you get that diseased piece, oh dear, that could be a real mess.”

“Is it just the tip of your dick?”

“That is the one. Oh, now, Colonel. Do not look so concerned.”

Ned tugged at Doctor Mormo's sleeve. The doctor looked down. Ned had written a note. He held it up. It read: WILL BUFFALO BILL BE OKAY?

“Well now, Ned. We certainly hope so.”

Jack put the bowl with the tip of Doctor Momo's penis on the table. Doctor Momo laid his scalpel on the tray, added a vial of pink liquid to the bowl. He reached for a semi-clear liquid with chunks of pulp in it, started to pour. Jack caught his hand.

“Isn't that our lemonade?” Jack asked.

“You know, it is. I left it out. Probably no good now. Looks just like the elixir. Take this and pour it down the sink. Oh, here it is…Jack…this is it, is it not?”

“That's it, Doctor.”

“Good. I am so glad. If it wasn't, I just wouldn't have any idea where it could be, and I am not up to mixing a new batch. I don't have the dick to spare… Well, I have it to spare, but you know what I mean.”

“Will you get on with it?” Cody said.

Doctor Momo poured a splash of the concoction into the bowl with the penis tip and the pink liquid. When he did, it began to steam. The penis tip melted, spread like a plop of pancake mix slopped on a griddle.

“I have found the ding dong to be about the best thing there is for this stuff. Testicle's second, facial parts third. Internal organs fourth. Fingers and toes fifth. After that, kind of a toss up.”

“Just get on with it,” Cody said. “And be careful.”

“Careful is my middle name… Oh, goddamn it.”

Doctor Momo had put his hand down on the scalpel. “Mother of God. Holy asshole of Satan. I've punctured my palm.”

Doctor Momo lifted his bleeding hand. The scalpel fell out, landed on the tray. “Shit,” he continued, “that little shiny sonofabitch is sharp.”

Jack brought a piece of cloth to Momo, who wrapped his hand.

“I'm okay, now,” he said. “Goddamn that hurt…now, Colonel—” Momo picked up the scalpel, flicked the blood from it, sending a streak of it across the white page of Ned's note pad hanging about his neck. “Shall we get on with it?”

“Doctor,” Cody said, “you never really completed outlining the drawback of this method.”

“Ah, screw it. It will be all right. I will tell you the rest of it later. Now grit your teeth, this is going to hurt like the proverbial sonofabitch.”

When they reached the far side of the island they found a rocky beach. The surf crashed against it savagely, throwing a fizz of white ocean high into the sky, dropping it to burst on the rocks in a stinging mist.

There was no boat. There was nothing really. Just rocks and the surf.

“Now we've seen it,” Annie said.

“Yes, and it doesn't look good,” Hickok said.

“Could build raft,” Bull said.

“We could,” Hickok said. “Provided we could steal tools, slip out here every day for a week or so. Course, if we did manage that, soon as we dropped it in the water, the waves would smash it, and us, against the rocks.”

“Not good plan,” Bull said.

“There is another alternative,” Annie said. “We could take Bemo's submarine.”

“It's probably covered in those monkey men,” Hickok said. “And say we do take it, how do we drive it?”

“Ned,” Annie said.

“Ned?” Hickok said. “Why would he do that?”

“Because,” Cat said, “he adores your friend, Cody.”

“It's something to consider,” Hickok said.

“Sun show two o'clock,” Bull said. “That something to consider.”

“Right you are,” Hickok said. “Let's head back.”

The left side of Cody's neck was cut. The mixture was applied to the incision. Wires were fastened to the wound and the other ends of the wires were plugged into a machine festooned with whirligigs and blinking lights. A switch was thrown. Dynamos groaned. Machinery clattered, screeched, coughed black puffs of choking smoke. Electrical power bolted through the wires, lit Cody up like a flaming meteor. His face wriggled. His hair stood up like porcupine quills. His eyes poked almost out of his head. His lips peeled back to show all his teeth. He made a sound like “Ahhhhhhhhrrrrrrruuuuuugah.”

The dynamos whined and wooed for a time, then went silent. Cody's hair dropped. His very pink skin stopped moving. For a moment, he smoked pleasantly on the metal tray like a hog's head just pulled from a vat of steaming water.

On his neck, where the scalpel had opened his flesh, the wound had closed and there appeared a kind of wrinkled knot. It quivered, as if a worm were inside it.

The knot grew bigger. It quivered more than before.

Bigger yet.

The quiver turned into a shake.

“As you Americans say,” said Doctor Momo, “now we are cooking.”

When they reached the mouth of the tunnel, Bull glanced at the sky. “Three o'clock white man time.”

“Then we have to hurry,” Annie said.

“I have been thinking,” Cat said. “To do what you want to do, you must ask Tin and the monster.”

“I thought the monster was just a monster,” Annie said.

“True, but you need them.”

“Even if we do,” Hickok said. “Tin wouldn't be of any use. He's Doctor Momo's man.”

“He loves the monster,” Cat said.

“Say what?” Hickok said.

“Men,” said Annie, “they are so dumb. I realized that the day Tin saw the monster lying on the beach. I thought he was going to melt.”

“But…they are both…men,” Hickok said.

“For one who thinks of himself as worldly,” Annie said, “you know very little about love. Some men love men. And in a physical way.”

“Well, I mean…yes, I've heard of it. I know it exists. But where do they put…it.”

“Think about it,” Annie said.

“But that is just wrong,” Hickok said.

“Once you thought it was okay to kill Indians merely because they were Indians,” Annie said. “Now you think that is wrong.”

“That right,” Bull said. “What about that, Wild Bill?” Then to Annie: “But me wonder too. Where thing go?”

Cat and Annie looked at one another, exasperated. “We'll explain it to you later,” Annie said.