Flamingo Blues (2 page)

CHAPTER THREE

The next morning, after exploring every inch of Steve’s body again, Corny promised herself she would get all of her shopping done before doing anything fun--like visiting the glorious Caribbean Flamingos at The Butterfly Gardens. If they had time, she wanted to visit The Butchart Gardens too. They were only a couple of miles away and had miniature monkeys, which were hilarious to watch.

The Empress Hotel provided a double-decker bus service that would take them sightseeing around Victoria, called the Gray Line’s Express. Guests just hopped on and off at designated areas, and could pretty much cover all of the downtown area. While they waited for the bus to arrive, a couple Royal Canadian Mounted Police came over on their horses and stood near them. Like any animal, they were having a discussion about the people around them.

Corny heard them talking and the first horse said, “
Check out the fat woman, who’s walking down the street with her skinny poodle. She’s about ready to bust out of her spandex pants and look at that muffin- top bulge.”

The second horse replied, “
I bet if she fell on her dog she’d squash it flat.”
and then snickered.

When the poodle got close enough to hear the horses’ remarks he took offense to the horses’ criticism of his owner’s big butt and said, “
Hey buddy, you should take a look in the mirror--you don’t have a small ass either.”
as he made a lunge for one of their legs

The first horse swished its tail at the poodle and said,
“Watch it or I’ll drop-kick you to America.”

The poodle responded with a confident,
“Bring it on wide load.”
and lunged again
.

Things were really heating up between the horses’ and the poodle and Corny didn’t want to see the cute little dog get hurt. She tried diplomacy with the horses, “Haven’t you ever heard the phrase;
if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all?”

Well, that was the wrong thing to say because both horses pulled their lips and bared their huge teeth to her; now she had pissed-off the Royal Canadian Mounted Police horses’. Probably nobody had ever had the balls to scold them before.

They turned to Corny and said, “Hey lady, you could lose a few pounds yourself.” and then they were led away with their dignity intact.

Steve turned and said, “We’ll talk later about that little exchange you had with the horses and poodle later.”

“Okay.” She said in a resigned voice.

And then it crossed her mind she might be responsible for buying Steve’s family gifts--since they would be living together. “Hey, this living together thing is already getting complicated and I haven’t even moved in yet. Do you celebrate Christmas with your family?”

“What’s complicated? You pack your things and move in.”

“It would be rude not to buy presents for your family if I’m living with you. What do they want for Christmas?”

“Cripes Corny, I usually buy my sister’s and brother’s kids gift cards. They seem to be fine with that.”

She had her pen ready to write, “What’s your sister’s cell number? She’ll know what your family wants.”

Steve said, “Crap, this trip is going to get expensive.”

After a half hour on the phone with Steve’s sister, Corny had doubled her shopping list. His sister was happy for them and now his family knew they were upping their relationship status. Corny and Steve headed off for the shops along Government Street and finished a good chunk of her list before her feet felt like lead. This shopping stuff was for the birds…Speaking of birds--Corny thought she spotted one of the nasty seagulls from the Clipper flying overhead. Corny and Steve didn’t need an incentive to duck into one of the English pubs for a beer and lunch, but spotting the seagulls was an excellent excuse. They decided to put off the rest of their shopping until after breakfast the next day; she had a pretty good idea where to find everything anyway.

By the time they arrived at the Empress Hotel and unloaded their haul, they had enough time to get to the bus--for The Butterfly Gardens. The double-decker bus was only partially full and they were able to sit on the top level a bench seat all by themselves.

Steve got that hot smoldering look in his eyes and whispered, “Corny, spread your legs a little.”

“Like this?” said Corny, slowly opening her knees with a smoldering look of her own.

“That’s perfect,” Steve replied in a low sexy voice.

He slid his hand between her legs and--slowly rubbed up and down with the side of his large hand, causing quite a bit of sensual friction. He was definitely starting a fire down there.

Then he asked, “Now tell me, what happened with those horses? They looked right at you and then showed their teeth, which were quite impressive.”

Corny ignored his questions, “That feels so good. Move your hand a little to the left; oh boy, that’s the spot.

“I’m going to stop if you don’t tell me what happened.” Steve started to remove his hand.

“No.” She grabbed his hand and pressed the palm deeper between her legs. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know, but don’t stop.”

“Okay, did you see that large woman with her poodle walking down the street?”

“Yes. What about her?”Steve replied.

Corny tried to explain what happened, “The poodle and the horses were about to get into a brawl and the dog wouldn’t have survived. I scolded them and the horses left in a huff
.
Steve, is that weird-looking lady heading our way? Get your hand out of my crotch – fast.”

The lady had a perfect Q-tip for hair. She quickly headed their way and said, “Well, good afternoon to you two. Are you newlyweds? You sure look all cozy sitting here by yourselves I wanted to mention there are little kids on this bus, if you know what I mean. Oh, and have a lovely day,” and then she scurried off to the front of the bus, where she came from.

“Steve, I’m thirty years old and I was busted for messing around by a Q-tip. How embarrassing is that?”

He laughed, and then said, “Honey, don’t worry. I’ll finish what I started when we get to the hotel.”

“Promise?”

“Absolutely.” Steve promised.

CHAPTER FOUR

If they thought Victoria, BC was in the holiday spirit, then The Butterfly Gardens were on holiday spirit steroids. Even the bathroom she used when they arrived had tasteful garlands strung from the rafters, and they must’ve shoved a Christmas tree in the ventilation system because it smelled great in there.

Their next stop,--was the Caribbean Flamingos; they were truly majestic creatures with their long beautiful pink necks. Corny stood in front of the shallow pond and thought, what a life, standing around all day on one leg and having everyone go “Ohh and Ahh” at you. They must have overheard her because the next thing she knew, she was getting an earful from a large male flamingo.

“Hey lady, get us the heck out of here Mon. It’s Christmas and we want to go home to the sweet old people. We love our quiet lake and they don’t clip our feathers there. We’d never leave but it’s nice to stretch every once in-a-while. The keepers here think we’ll fly away if they let our feathers grow and we would too. Our colony was nesting in a great big lake--not far from here. The old people would come and sit for hours and we’d preen for them. They’d get all dressed up in red and green clothes and hats with reindeer on them. It was the best place to live, but one night a large truck pulled up and we were shot with something that put us to sleep. The next thing we knew, we were being stared-at by a bunch of strangers talking in foreign we didn’t understand.”

What could she say to that request? “Of course, I’ll do my best to get you home for Christmas.” But what would she do with her extremely observant cop boyfriend during this relocation?

Steve was giving her that look, “I know you’re talking to the birds. What are you talking about?”

Corny said, “It’s complicated, they don’t want to be here and they want me to get them home.”

“And how do they think you can accomplish that?” Steve asked.

While pondering that thought she was happily rubbing her shiny new key again.

She figured if she could find something to occupy Steve’s time for a couple of hours, she could get the flamingos home and make a bunch of old people happy too. But first she needed to find out where the flamingos came from and if they were even wanted. It would be sad for them if they were relocated and the old people didn’t want them.

Steve was looking at the Butterfly Gardens directory and asked, “Corny, do you want to go look at the giant Koi fish next?”

“You know what, they have a big gift shop, why don’t I go do a little shopping while you go see the fish and we can meet back here in half an hour?”

“Okay, see you back here.” Steve replied.

In less than a minute she had a young male animal keeper in her sights. First she opened a couple buttons on her blouse--even though it was only 40 degrees out--and flashed some major cleavage. When the drool subsided she said, “Do you know where the flamingos came from?”

“I believe they were relocated from the Shornclifton Nursing Home, but flamingos aren’t my area of expertise. I’m in charge of butterflies. I could give you a private tour--if you want.” He looked way too happy about the private tour.

“Maybe next time, but thanks,” and turned to go back to the flamingos. She needed to find out how to get them out of their enclosure, when she found a way to get them home. She’s trying to stay positive.

“Hey Mon, you’re back. When are we leaving this place?” The male flamingo asked.

“First, I have to find transportation for all of you and second, how will I get you out of there?”

“The second problem is the easiest, our keepers think were dumb. The door is locked so no-one can get in, but the keepers can get out. We’ve practiced and we can get the door open. You just tell us where and when and we’ll meet you,” he said excitedly.

“Okay.” She said with a smile in her voice, if they could do that much she could do the rest. And then it came to her, the double-decker bus was out front and definitely large enough to transport a bunch of birds.

She Googled the nursing home on her cell phone, which gave her the location of Shornclifton. It was about a half hour drive in good driving conditions. She called ahead to make sure it was okay to return the flamingos and luckily the staff was ecstatic. When she talked to the lady in charge, she said, “One day they were out in the lake and the next day they were gone; it was very upsetting to the residents. Some of them don’t have a lot to look forward to and those birds made everyone happy. We have our own Christmas tree lighting ceremony every evening and it isn’t the same without the flamingos. Do you know why they were taken from our lake?”

“No, I found them at The Butterfly Gardens and nobody seems to know why they were relocated. If all goes well, I should have them to the lake within a couple of hours.”

“God bless you child. Drive safe. I’ll let the residents know they’ll get their Christmas wish after all; they’ll have their flamingos to Ohh and Ahh over for Christmas.

CHAPTER FIVE

It must’ve been Fate because right outside of the bathroom was a sign for the Cirque du Soleil, and they had a show scheduled in one hour. Corny was right on time and Steve arrived five minutes later.

“Steve look, they have a circus! Can we go and see it please? I’ll even buy the tickets.”

“Okay, are you sure you’re through talking with the flamingos? Don’t give me the ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about’ look either. I know you and your eyes dilate when you’re communicating with animals, like when you’re sexually turned on.”

“Geez, I had no idea that happened. The flamingos are homesick is all and I was trying to make them feel better. Come on, I want to make sure the show isn’t sold out and then we can get something to eat.”

She bought two tickets and said, “I splurged and got front row seats. This is going to be great!”

“You know, I’ve never met a woman who can eat as much as you and not gain an ounce.”

“I’m lucky; I have my mom’s metabolism. I’m sure one day I’ll have to watch what I eat but right now I want something sinful.”

“Oh Corny, you’re nuts, you know that?”

“Yes I am.” and they both laughed.

After he stopped laughing he said, “I’ll buy lunch then since you bought the tickets.”

“Great. Let’s go to the food court and check out the choices.”

Like everything else in Victoria, the food court was festive and smelled wonderful. She hadn’t realized until then that each area of The Butterfly Gardens was decorated in a different theme. The food court looked like a frozen garden, everything was white and it looked like it was covered in frost, but it wasn’t. How cool. Maybe she’d try that look at their house. She could say that now, their house

“Steve, it looks pretty busy in here; why don’t I find a table while you order a couple burgers and fries?

“Okay, but I’m getting off cheap with burgers and fries. We can get popcorn at the circus if you want.”

“Popcorn and cotton candy too please.”

She was lucky to find a small, two- person table; the place was packed. Steve had their lunch ordered and on the table in ten minutes flat. The place knew how to move the customers through, but maybe a little too fast--her burger was a little on the rare side, but it tasted good.

They walked around and looked at all the exotic birds and Corny tried to ignore--their chatter. Steve might get confused when her eyes dilated and think she wanted a quickie, if she communicated with them. She didn’t come across anymore abducted animals; maybe somebody saw the flamingos one day and didn’t think that they liked it where they were.