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Agreement walks to our bedside table, pouring fresh water into the glasses. Basil stands in the corner of the room, cracking her knuckles as we make eye contact. We’re both at a loss in this situation.

“What should I do now?” Basil asks. The confident, funny girl from the boat is gone.

“Shhh. I told you, no voices during our duties,” Agreement scolds. Distracted by having to reprimand, she spills some water.

Perfection comes at her, “What are you thinking? Do I need to let the Humbleman know you’re having difficulty performing such a simple task?”

“Of course not, Perfection, I’m just a bit tense.”

“What are you nervous about? My goodness, you’ve had enough partners to train over the years.”

Agreement looks over at Basil, whose arms cross her chest, her face crossed in a scowl.

“I’m sorry, some Vessels take more time to acclimate.”

The two seasoned Vessels share a knowing nod, as though the matter is finished. Agreement takes the pitcher to a table by the door, then pulls two thin mattresses out from under my bed and indicates to Basil where they’re to sleep. At the foot of our beds.

chapter fifteen

T
he next morning a bell chimes, filling the room with a glorious melody. A light turns on overhead, increasing in brightness as the minutes pass. Soon the room is fully lit and I’m wide awake. Rubbing my eyes and stretching my arms above my head, I notice Basil and Agreement standing at the foot of our beds, waiting for us to rise. My rested body tenses as I realize people have been watching me sleep. Agreement smiles when I catch her eye, but Basil looks as put off with this charade as I am.

They have trays of food in their hands filled with juice, toast, eggs, and fruit. I’m curious about the way the Refuge operates and how it is able to produce so much, but the curiosity is pushed to the back of my mind as breakfast is placed in my lap. Basil smirks and asks, “Would you like a napkin, milady?” I know she’s teasing and I can’t help but giggle at this ridiculous overindulgence. My years of bland soy-protein shakes wouldn’t fit in here at all.

The strange hierarchy of The Light confuses me, but I need to follow their rules until I see Mom. Then I can ask her what she wants me to do. Not to mention needing to warn her of her impending betrothal to a stranger.

We eat as the Councilmen use an overhead intercom to announce the events of the day. Perfection says most girls go to a dining hall for breakfast, but that everyone receives messages the same way. A loud voice booms through the room,
Vessels, confirm your schedules for appointments with your Humbleman. Many Vessels have been reported as missing their meetings, and any more incidences of this nature will be punished.

Also, as we continue to prepare for the Nobleman’s honored visit, we have decided to increase the time you rehearse. Please go to your practice rooms when indicated on your revised schedules.

We had four new Vessels arrive last night, if you see them, make sure they’re attending to their duties. There will be a Binding Ceremony this evening for two of them, if you are free of duties you are required to attend this in the Haven.

May you carry the light with you, and we will see you in the Haven shortly for The Service.

The intercom goes silent and I look to Basil, whose deer-in-the-headlights eyes tell me this is news to her. I’m terrified for her, and for my Mom. I’m not getting Bound, I don’t have a partner yet, and Hana’s out of the question she’s too young even for these people. But Basil’s fourteen. And Mom? She’s
my mom
. Perfection and Agreement don’t seem to notice our stunned faces.

“I need you to meet me this afternoon in time for my singing practice. Make sure I’m standing next to complementary voices, and hold a glass of water for me in case I become parched.”

“I’ll be there,” Agreement says. “Although I must be dismissed in time for the Binding Ceremony. I must help Basil prepare.”

“That won’t do. I’ll just have Lucy wait on me, that isn’t a problem, is it?” she asks. I have just been relegated to a maid.

“Umm, is my mom getting Bound then, too?”

“I suppose so.” Perfection’s irritation is impossible to mask. “You insist on being there also?”

“Is that okay?” I ask.

“I imagine it’s the appropriate choice. I wouldn’t want to hold you back from bestowing love and light towards your own mother. Although, that title will be stripped of her tonight.” Satisfaction fills her eyes as she informs me of this.

I don’t ask her what it means; I can deduce it well enough on my own. My stomach is in knots, I need to see Mom. 

The conversation is clearly over because Agreement walks to Perfection’s side and begins brushing her hair. Agreement coughs in Basil’s direction, and she jumps as if startled from some serious deep thinking. Basil walks over to me with a hairbrush, but her silly attitude over the breakfast spread is gone, she’s scared.

“I’m supposed to brush your hair now,” Basil explains.

“I can brush my own hair, don’t be ridiculous.”

Basil looks over at Agreement who shakes her head.

“Lucy, is there a problem?” Perfection asks, poised above the rest of us.

“It’s just, umm.” I’m flustered by the haughty look on Perfection’s face. One glance at Basil, who’s fought so hard to get here safely, makes this whole thing absurd. I can at least stick up for her, I promised as much on the boat. “I can brush my own hair. I’m sure Basil would rather do anything else. Let her sit and eat some of my food.”

“You shouldn’t question Agreement and Basil’s choices. You did not make them. They were made by their Humbleman … who is your Humbleman again, Agreement?”

“Humbleman Tolerant.”

“Humbleman Tolerant is Agreement’s mate. He assigns her the tasks she’s to do and after the Binding Ceremony he’ll also be Basil’s mate. One of the tasks he assigns them is ensuring I have everything I need. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes,” Agreement answers.

“See, I’d never ask Agreement to do this myself, but she’s following the request of her Humbleman.”

“Why would your Humbleman want you to brush another girl’s hair?” I ask, flummoxed over the situation.

“Lucy, remember last night, when I told you to try not to ask questions? This is what I meant. You can’t question a Humbleman’s choice, it isn’t the natural order of things.”

She turns from me, letting Agreement return to brushing out her long blonde locks.

“At least your hair is the right length for this cult,” Basil whispers in my ear, as she takes a fistful of my waist-length auburn hair in her hands to brush.

I want a chance to talk to Basil to hear how she’s holding up after the announcement of her Binding. I’d like to let her know I saw Hana, and to ask if she’s seen Mom, but with Perfection so close and ready to pounce, I don’t dare say a word.

Basil is the one who finds our chance to sneak away. “Do you need to use the bathroom, now that you are dressed for the day?” she asks me. I should’ve known she’d have a plan, she’s savvy in ways I’ve never had a chance to be.

“Yes, yes, I do … is that alright Perfection?” I smile, recognizing my cue to leave.

“Yes, I’m just going to finish getting dressed. Basil, do you know where it is?” Basil nods and Perfection lets us leave, with the promise to return straight away. We walk to the hallway, around the corner and make our way into the massive communal bathroom, lined with sinks, showers, and toilet stalls. Many Vessels are here getting ready for the day, brushing their teeth at the sink and braiding their hair. They turn and stare at us, but we ignore their gawks. I pull Basil into a stall with me, not caring if it looks unusual.

Shoulder to shoulder, I notice her eyes are rimmed in red with black circles underneath. Guilt washes over me for the blissful sleep I had after my relaxing soak.

“Why are you sleeping on the floor?”

“That’s not the real question. Why are you a princess-in-training?”

She cuts straight to the chase … and I’m grateful for it. We don’t have time for niceties when everything feels warped out of control.

“I think it has to do with my test, though I didn’t know anything about The Light before I came, you knew more than me. Are you going to be Bound to the same guy married to Agreement?”

“I can’t go through with it, I haven’t met him or anything. After we were assigned last night, Agreement told me how we’re glorified servants. Then we spent an hour washing clothes for Perfection … and you. They have a machine that gets crazy hot to unwrinkle clothing.” She shakes her head and puts her hands on my shoulders. “Everything here is insane, Lucy, but Agreement doesn’t see it that way. She keeps talking about her duty to the Nobleman’s future mate.” Then in a whisper, as if she will be punished by Agreement for saying it, she goes on, “Perfection’s terrible, right? I mean she thinks she’s all that.”

              “All what?” I ask.

              Basil smiles. “All perfect. She thinks she runs this place.”

              “I think she kinda does. She’s being prepped to marry their god.”

              “Not god, the
Nobleman
. Apparently he’s crazy hot. The rumors I heard on the outside must be true.”

              “I don’t know about rumors, I only know this place scares me. You can’t get married. You’re fourteen!”

              “I know, Lucy.” Basil’s eyes are far away, as if looking back at a history deep and painful and raw. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

              I take Basil’s hand and squeeze it, “Whatever you do, tell me, okay? So I can try and help.”

              “If I can, I will.” Basil’s words sound empty, hollow. As if she knows that won’t be possible. “I’m so glad you’re here … for Hana.”

“I’m here for you too,” I add, wanting her to know she isn’t alone in any of this. “We should go. Perfection will wonder where we are.”

“Wouldn’t want the reigning princess to worry, now would we?” Basil’s sarcastic tone unsettles me.

“Do you regret coming here?”

“I had no other choice. Hana and I would have died on the outside, and we almost did. I had to bring her here.”

“But you?”

“Did I ever have a choice, Lucy?”

Basil and I are alike, both living our lives without any real control. Only my lack of choice has landed me as a Lady-in-Waiting and her sleeping on the floor.

“But you’re fourteen. You can’t marry someone else’s husband.”

“I know. I’ll try to find some Humbledude to talk to and get out of this.”

“And if they say no?”

Basil takes my hand, “Just make sure Hana’s safe, okay? I had to get her here.”

Back in the room, Perfection is ready for the day, and the beds have been made with the breakfast trays whisked away.

“There you two are. You took so long. Everything all right?” Perfection asks, exaggerating her concern, as though she has no choice in plastering a fake smile on her face. She may have the same few choices Basil and I have, and the revelation softens me a bit.

“Yes, I’m just not used to such ornate bathrooms. Back where I lived before coming here, well, let’s just say it wasn’t so marble-y.” I force a smile onto my face.

“I see.”

“Where did you live before coming to The Light?” I ask.

“Oh, Lucy, I’ve always lived here. There was no
before.
This is all I’ve ever known.

We link arms and walk out of the room. Perfection leads me to the Haven, an enormous sanctuary. Although the room is intimidating in its size, it still reminds me of simple rooms at the Refuge. Large marble walls and high ceilings void of emotion. Perfection explains this place holds all the people at the Refuge. The size reminds me of when I learned about the old cathedrals in England, except less antiqued and no stained glass windows. There are no windows at the Refuge at all, now that I think of it. I can’t help but wonder why there isn’t an exit, for all they tout about light, no sun streams through windowpanes, the Refuge is superficially bright.

Basil and Agreement sit down in the back and a man, Humbleman Tolerant I assume, walks to where they are, with nine other women trailing him. He stops in front of Agreement and kisses her forehead. He must be as old as Dad was. A shiver runs down my spine as I notice three of the women in tow are pregnant. I’ve never seen a pregnant woman before and these girls are no older than me. Horror spreads through me as I realize this will be Basil’s life-mate.

I watch the Vessel’s, and as I walk beside Perfection, the eyes of all the girls in the room seem to land on her. She leads me to a pew in the front, and the hierarchy is clear; everyone orbits around her.

“Lucy, quit looking around. The service is about to start.” Perfection scolds, doing her best to train me as a good partner. I ignore Perfection’s request and scan the room for Mom’s face. I can’t find her, there must be a thousand people in the Haven … lots of children sitting in quiet obedience, their hands folded in their laps. I crane my neck trying to find the face that’s been a comfort my entire life.

Perfection grabs my hand, jerking me forward. This time I can’t disregard what she wants. Women line the walls of the room, just like last night, and their voices bring forth songs.

The atmosphere in the sterile space changes and my body warms as the room brightens even more. The white marble walls reflect the beaming light and it radiates around me. It is just like the lights this morning in our room, only this time the intensity grows so strong I shield my eyes to protect them. I know the light is fabricated but it feels as real as any sunlight I’ve ever seen.

“Close your eyes, followers. The Light will guide you.”

I try hard to see who speaks, but there’s no way I can make out a figure or face with the illumination surrounding us all. The voice is calm and clear covering me like a weighted blanket meant to soothe. “Vessels and Humbleman, as we prepare for the Nobleman to come to our Refuge, we must also prepare our hearts. We must be ready to enter into the light with him, as we work towards finding the purity within ourselves.”

The Vessels’ voices continue to sing, no words, just incantations attempting to bring us into holiness, in accord to the voice directing us. I fight to keep my eyes open, but it’s too difficult. I give in to what my body wants and let them close, seeing the dancing colors under my eyelids, the shades that always come when I shut my eyes. They sweep me away allowing me to forget the questions I have about this place.