Fluency (15 page)

“She was the Quasador Dux of this vessel. She gave her life to find your world.”

“After surviving that…she…. I don’t know what to do with this. What am I supposed to do now?”

“Bring her voice to your people. Make ready.”

“I don’t know how I could ever make them understand this. It’s not like I can show them the things you’ve shown me. All I can do is describe it. How can that ever be enough? They won’t see it the same way. They’ll want to protect themselves. They’ll want to stay in hiding, here, where we’re safe.”

“You will convince them. There is no other way. Safety is an illusion. You know this to be true.”

“I…do.”

“You must go. Your companions have need of you. Tell them of this, Dr. Jane Holloway.”

“Ei’Brai—I—you should call me Jane.”

“Without your earned title? I will not be so disrespectful as this. Shall I call you Dr. Jane?”

“No. It’s a gesture of—”

“Ah. Friendship. I see. Quaint. You will understand if I insist on using my own title?”

She let out a single, baffled laugh at this.

Indignation rolled off of him in waves. She could see plainly in his mind that the prefix Ei’ indicated his high status and rank, earned over many years of faithful service. “Of course. It’s short and to the point.”

“Indeed.”

She withdrew slowly, tentatively, feeling her way back, and gradually became aware of jostling movement and discomfort. There was something hard jammed into her midsection. Was she upside down?

“Aughpf,” she wheezed, trying to orient herself. A hand tightened…on her ass? “What the—?”

“Sh,” someone hissed in the dark.

Apparently she was being carried, bodily, over someone’s shoulder. That person stopped moving and stooped. She slid down slowly, becoming aware, as she did, of a familiar, masculine scent. Her eyes adjusted to the dim light, but she already knew she was face to face with, pressed tightly up against, Alan.

His bearded cheek slid over hers, his breath warm against her ear.
Good grief, he feels good.
She hadn’t been held like that for far too long.

“Are you ok? You were out for hours,” he whispered. He sounded worried.

She answered in kind, a million questions tumbling over themselves inside her head. Why was he carrying her in the dark? Why was he embracing her so ardently? Why did everything change every time she turned around? Where the hell were they? That one, at least, she thought she might be able to answer. “Yes, yes, I’m fine. What’s going on? Why were you carrying me?”

“It’s Walsh. I fell behind, but he’ll notice soon.
He’s flipping out, Jane. He wants to retreat to Mars already. He’s trying to get us back to the capsule, but, well, I think you know you’re the only one who can do that. We’re lost. He’s tried several times to use the deck-to-deck transport, but he has no idea how to select the right deck. He—”

“Keep up Bergen!” Walsh’s voice rang out sharply. The light from a flashlight blinded her momentarily. She heard some quiet cursing and heavy boot steps, heading their way.

Alan squeezed her tightly and murmured in her ear before releasing her, “Careful, Jane. Walsh doesn’t trust you.”

“What? Why?” But there was no time for him to answer.

“So, Holloway, what do you have to say for yourself, now?”

She drew herself up straight and turned away from Alan, shielding her eyes with a hand against the glare of the flashlight that Walsh had aimed directly at her face. She had a quick insight into why this hallway was dark—Ei’Brai did not approve of this excursion. “Why does that sound like an accusation, Dr. Walsh?”

“What have you been doing all this time?”

She took a step toward Walsh. He tensed, his posture defe
nsive. She slowly reached out and pushed down on the flashlight, aiming its bright focal point a little lower, so she could see. “I was doing the job I was recruited to do—communicating with our host. What about you? I thought we agreed we were going to make camp in the medical facility?”

“Things have changed.”

Jane darted cautious looks at the others. They all looked uneasy. Walsh was adroitly using his military background—they were more comfortable with his leadership style. Technically, she was supposed to have taken command under any scenario where the Target was inhabited, but all that changed with the new orders from Houston and he was capitalizing on the lack of a clear chain of command. Nothing had gone according to any of the plans they’d laid out at Johnson. Nothing.

“I didn’t know you were such an impatient man.”

“Not impatient. Practical.”

“Is that why we’re eleven decks away from the capsule?”

Walsh’s eyes narrowed. Jane studied the others’ reactions. Was there hope they’d hear her? Alan stood behind her. He’d warned her; she could count on his support. Gibbs looked conflicted. Ajaya was watchful, frankly assessing the situation. Tom seemed strange, blank.

Walsh spoke, distracting her from Tom. “Am I supposed to b
elieve you know exactly where we are? Just like that?”

“I know precisely where we are. This level is primarily crew quarters.” Jane gestured at a nearby door. “Through that door is a cafeteria.”

Walsh nodded at Gibbs, who then cautiously opened the door, then stepped inside. The lights came on, illuminating a vast room full of an eclectic mix of tables and chairs of various shapes and sizes, in the same murky green as everything else in the ship.

Jane took a step toward Walsh. “Is this exploration or escape?”

Walsh’s lips tightened. No one said anything.

“Escape, then.
From what, exactly? There’ve been no threats from the alien—quite the opposite.”

“I disagree.”

“What are you basing that opinion on?”

“This is pointless. I have no way of knowing if I’m even tal
king to Jane Holloway.”

“What are you talking about? That’s ridiculous.”

“Is it? You said yourself he’s inside your head. Even if you’re you, there’s no way you can be objective.”

“That’s simply not true. Look, you haven’t given me a chance to explain anything. There’s a lot as stake here. This is bigger than all of us. Bigger, even, than Earth.”

“I’m sure it is. I’m sure he’s told you how he’s a victim of circumstance. How he needs your help to survive.”

“He—I
….” Jane took a step back, nonplussed, and glanced at Alan. He had a thunderous expression on his face.

Walsh pressed his advantage, “He’s told you you’re special, you’re the only one who can make a difference, you have to co
nvince everyone what he says is true. He hurts you and then he makes it better? Right?”

“You don’t know what he’s said to me,” she retorted hotly, tr
ying to mask her confusion while she figured out what was actually happening.

“
It’s classic Stockholm conditioning, Holloway. I can see it all over your face. Everything I’ve just said is true.”

“You’re twisting everything before I’ve even said a word. NASA—”

Walsh spoke over her, cutting her off. “I’m trying to protect you. I’m trying to protect all of us. I don’t know what that thing wants. None of us do—least of all you.”

“It’s not like that, dammit! I’m not going to allow you to di
scredit me this way. Is this going according to plan? No. I can understand how that would make you uneasy. You aren’t in the loop. You don’t know what’s going on. That’s scary. I get that. But, we can’t run away from this. We can learn so much from him. This is an opportunity of a lifetime—”

“It’s going to be a very brief lifetime, if we stay here,” Walsh cut in acidly.

Bergen surged forward. “Quit bullying her. Let her talk.”

Jane grabbed him by the arm and pushed him behind her before things escalated out of control. She filled her voice with convi
ction. “Listen to me—this ship has been vacant for decades. There’s been no one here to perform routine maintenance, so some things have gotten out of control. We can work around that. We can perform the maintenance, if necessary. We can still do what we came here for—we can learn about the technology. You’re all capable of meeting this challenge. You’re experts at the top of your fields—electronics, computers, engineering. I think that if we worked together, diligently, we could learn to fly this ship. We could take it home, with his help. We don’t need to shut ourselves up in the Providence for another year and a half. We don’t need to run. We can do this. This is why we’re here.”

Ajaya spoke up for the first time. “Is this what he’s telling you, Jane? Is this what he wants?”

Walsh was shaking his head derisively, but stayed silent.

She raised her chin, refusing to back down or try to deceive them. “Not directly, no. He’s not like us. He doesn’t speak plainly about anything. But, yes, I think that’s what he wants.”

Gibbs asked, “Why isn’t he doing the maintenance?”

“He can’t. He’s not
…he’s integrated into the ship somehow, stuck in one location. He can’t move around the ship.”

Ajaya said, “
But, what purpose does he serve here, then?”

“He’s the ship’s navigator. Look—you all have to learn the language and then you can ask him all the questions you want. You can talk to him like I do. There’s a language lab on this deck. It’s meant for adolescents, but there’s no reason why I can’t use it to teach you. We can use these crew quarters. We don’t even have to go back to the capsule for supplies—there’s plenty of food here. We could thrive here—do work that will go down in history. Just give me the chance to show you. Trust me. I want us to succeed.”

Walsh glared at her. “If you’re so sure it’s safe here, tell me, Holloway—why is he the only one left?”

Jane breathed deeply and squared her shoulders. “I won’t gloss over this. He trusted me with the truth and I’ll share it. The un
iverse is a dangerous place. We—Earth is completely unprepared. If we don’t get up to speed, our home and everything and everyone we love could become food for another species. The people that came here inside this ship were peaceful scientists. They were looking for allies against these kinds of predators. They intended to help us prepare to fight. They all died trying to bring us this knowledge. Someone didn’t want them to find us first. Someone engineered some kind of disease that wiped them out, all at once, before they could make contact with us.”

Ajaya was instantly concerned. “A disease? What kind of di
sease?”

“I don’t know. They all just stopped functioning—all at the same time, all brain activity blocked, and they died of starvation within days
…. What?”

They all looked alarmed, every last one of them. And they all turned to look at Tom Compton, who was standing there, staring off into space, drooling.

13

“Tom?”

Bergen watched as Jane approached Compton slowly and touched his arm. Tom didn’t respond to her.

She turned, stricken. “What happened?”

“It sounds like you know more about it than we do,” Walsh uttered with slow, menacing calm.

She opened her mouth to speak, and shut it again, pivoting back to Compton. “Tom?” she said, shaking him gently. She touched his sagging face. Nothing happened. He didn’t make eye contact with her. “Oh my God. What do we do now?”

Ajaya said urgently, “Jane—how is this disease transmitted? Are we all exposed?”

Jane
turned, her eyes glittering with unshed tears. “I don’t know any of the specifics. I’m just a linguist. I’m so sorry.”

“Holloway,” Walsh boomed. “This is why we have to get out of here. Before something worse happens. Can you get us back to the capsule?”

Jane was slowly shaking her head. “Yes, but….”

Ajaya cut in, “Commander, if this is contagious, we can’t risk returning to Earth and exposing the population there.”

“They’ll put us in quarantine,” Walsh countered, irritably.

Ajaya scowled and snapped, “We don’t know what the vector is. Just getting through the atmosphere may be enough to transmit it to Earth. We don’t have the right to risk that. It sounds like we’ll be dead long before we get there, anyway
..”

“Ei’Brai said they found the agent just before they
…. It wasn’t enough to save them, but it could save us. We—he—he’ll help us. We’ll figure this out.” Her voice trembled as she spoke.

“No!” Walsh grated at her. “Don’t you see? That’s what he wants. He’s pulling the puppet strings, through you. I can’t stop you from going back there. I’m asking you—no, I’m ordering you—do not go back there, Holloway. I don’t believe any of this is real. This is a mind game.
He’s amused by us. We’re like zoo animals to him. We’re going back to the capsule and then we’re going home, goddamn it.”

“I don’t know, I don’t know
….” she murmured.

Walsh grabbed her arm roughly. “Pull yourself together, Ho
lloway! You’re the only one who can read the symbols. We need you to get us back.”

Jane looked shattered.

Bergen couldn’t hold back anymore. He shoved Walsh away from Jane. “That’s enough! She heard you. Lay off her.” Walsh took a swing at him that almost made contact, but Bergen’s reflexes were faster. He ducked and barreled into Walsh, shoulder down, knocking Walsh stumbling back into the wall. Bergen took a step back and waited. Walsh was staggering to his feet and coming back for more when Gibbs and Ajaya pulled them apart.

“Come on, man, this isn’t helping anything,” Gibbs chided.

Ajaya shot him a censorious glare. Walsh was shrugging her off, pushing away any attempts at checking him over.

“Where’s Holloway?” Walsh snarled.

Bergen’s heart stopped. She wasn’t in the immediate area anymore.

Gibbs shone his light up and down the corridor. Jane was curled up some distance away, back against the wall, knees drawn up to her chin, head on folded arms.

“By God, if she’s gone there again,” Walsh spat.

Ajaya turned him away, murmuring in placating tones.

“Jesus, Berg. I think you better go talk to her,” Gibbs said, tilting his head toward Jane.

Bergen nodded agreement and sauntered over to her. She didn’t react. He settled down next to her, mimicking her pose. She didn’t stir.

Was she there?

Her hair was spilling over her face. Normally smooth and neat, it had dried in long, lanky waves. He reached out a hand to pull it back so he could see her expression. Her grey eyes gazed back at him with a bleak expression.

“It’s a symptom,” she said softly. Her eyes shut tight, wrinkling with strong emotion. She sat up. “I…didn’t realize at first, because you two bicker so much,”

“What?”

“Some of the Sectilius became aggressive before they succumbed to the illness. They were peaceful people, yet in those moments, some of them came to blows over nothing. They knew they were fighting something, they just didn’t know what. It manifested like this. Ei’Brai showed me.”

He shook his head. He’d been hoping for an opportunity to throttle Walsh for months. “Jane—”

She shook her head and looked anguished. “I don’t believe that he’s bad or evil. Am I crazy? Am I a fool?”

“No,” he said firmly.

She pressed her lips together in a tight line. “Ajaya’s right. We can’t go home like this.”

He stretched his legs out and tried to relax. He’d been carrying Jane for over an hour. This was a welcome break. “I know.”

Gibbs withdrew the light as they spoke, leaving him and Jane in near darkness. The others were breaking for a meal. Ajaya must have convinced Walsh to give Jane some space. She was occupied with trying to feed Compton. They were huddling around the glow emanating from the open doorway.

Bergen huffed. Why didn’t the idiots just go inside and leave him alone with Jane?

Jane said, “We do have to go back to the capsule—but not to leave. We have send a transmission to Mission Control, as soon as possible. I have to tell them everything Ei’Brai told me, everything we know, in case we don’t make it back. The future of Earth may depend on this information. They’ll be ready, then, when they send the Bravo mission. They’ll be able to protect themselves. We have to give them a fighting chance.”

He nodded slowly, agreeing with her. “Ok. How do you want to handle that?”

“I think…oh, God, this is awful.” She had her hands clasped together and she ran the knuckles of her thumbs up and down her forehead from the bridge of her nose to her hairline, rhythmically. “I thought Walsh understood, that he could see the value, the potential. But everything’s changed. Now I can see that won’t work. Walsh—I suspect, from the moment I first lost consciousness—has decided I’m unfit.”

She met his eyes, seeking confirmation. He gave it. She was right.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’ll pretend to go along with Walsh’s wishes. It’ll be easier that way. Ajaya will be with us. She knows what’s at stake. We just have to figure out where Ron’s loyalties lie, without tipping Walsh off. We have to know if he’ll fight us, or help us with Walsh. If we have to, we’ll use a weapon.” She swallowed and looked panicked for a moment, but quickly concealed that. “Then we’ll find a laboratory. We have to try to solve this. I want to go home.”

“Me too.”

He was painfully aware that this moment might be the only chance they would ever have to be together in any sense whatsoever, now. He snuck his arm behind her and she leaned against him, the top of her head against his cheek. He swallowed thickly. He still didn’t have any idea if she felt the same way. It seemed like maybe she did. Or was this just friendship to her?

“Are you
…do you feel normal?” she murmured.

“I feel fine.” He did. He couldn’t sense anything out of the o
rdinary happening. If the disease was doing anything to him, he was blissfully unaware of it.

“I do too. Walsh and Ajaya seem a little different to me, though. Ajaya doesn’t lose her temper. Ever. She just yelled at Walsh. And Walsh
….”

“Yeah. I noticed.”

“I’m sorry, Alan. You seem different too.” Her voice broke.

He squeezed her tighter. She thought he was doing this because of some germ? “No. I’m fine. I’m telling you, I’m thinking clearly. I’m ok.”

She moved slightly, glancing at him then back down. “Ok. I just…Alan, it’s not like you, it doesn’t seem like it’s in your personality to believe the kind of things I’ve been saying. I just, I would expect you to be more skeptical. It’s scaring me a little bit.”

“You’ve presented plenty of evidence, Jane. It’s fucked up. It’s weird. But, I believe you’re communicating with him.”

“I know, but it seems to me that you would be more likely to side with Walsh in this.”

“No. I trust you. I trust your instincts.”

“But why? Walsh has more experience—he’s done tours in Afghanistan and Iraq. He’s been in tight spots before. He’s a good leader. He’s a hero. I’m not anything like him.”

“He was following orders. He had military training to rely on. But you didn’t have any kind of backup when you were tromping through the jungle, trying to survive. You didn’t have anything or anyone to depend on except your wits and your gut. That’s what
got NASA’s attention, Jane. It’s why they wanted you to lead this mission. It’s why I’ll follow you to hell if I have to.”

He was thinking specifically about an essay Jane had written about her experience in the Amazon, in which she’d described how she’d been searching for water, in a febrile state, unaware, that after uncounted days of wandering, encountering one bizarre, da
ngerous situation after another, she and her companions had wandered fairly near a paved road. She encountered a woman washing clothes beside a stream.

The woman was mistrustful, had never seen a person with blonde hair before. Bergen was pretty sure most people in such a dire situation would have just prostrated themselves, begging, when they finally found another human being that wasn’t immed
iately hostile. Somehow Jane knew that would just scare her away. Instead she’d calmly sat down some distance from her, quietly asking questions to determine if they shared a language in common. When they settled on some kind of pidgin version of Portuguese, she didn’t ask for help or food; she complimented the woman’s infant and offered to help her with her chore.

When the woman left, Jane laid down next to the stream to gather strength before returning to her companions with the hop
eful news that they were near a village that might be sympathetic to their plight. She awoke surrounded by native men, who, after a few confusing hours of propositions, bitter cups of local tea, and the first food she’d eaten in days, led her to the road and salvation.

Jane sat up, searching his face in the dim light. He reached out to stroke his thumb slowly over her cheek, and leaned in to kiss her. She stiffened. Her lips were lifeless under his.

He was taken aback, suddenly insecure about his instincts. He’d felt certain, in that moment, that he’d felt something from her, some kind of encouragement.

He pulled back, mumbling an awkward apology, when he felt her fingertips on his face, in his hair, and suddenly she was kissing him back, fervently. His stomach tightened in response and his pulse raced. He turned her, slightly, so that he was hunched over her, shielding her. If the others glanced at them, they might wo
nder, but it wouldn’t be obvious, he didn’t think.

He touched his tongue to her lips, a question. She opened to him, deepening the kiss, their tongues smoothly flowing around each other. He wanted it to escalate. He ached for more of her. He wanted to pretend they were alone, safe, that they had all the time they could want. He imagined his hand moving to her zipper, sli
pping inside her flight suit….

But she ended it far before he was ready. She pressed her for
ehead to his, exhaling raggedly.

“Distracting ourselves like this could be dangerous,” she whi
spered.

“I don’t care. I want you, Jane.” His voice sounded hoarse. His hand was tangled in the hair at the nape of her neck, keeping pre
ssure on her, keeping her close.

A choked laugh escaped from her. “I’m beginning to compr
ehend that.”

“Do you—”

She laid a hand over his pounding heart. Her voice was resolute. “We can’t do this now.”

He was surprised by how much that hurt. He’d never done this before—confessed, tried to make something real happen. But this wasn’t a rejection, exactly. It was more like a deferral.

So, that’s how it would be. Survival would be a prerequisite. Well, then they were damn well going to survive this.

“The old carrot, huh?” he said ruefully.

“Did you mean it when you said you would follow me to hell?” She was pulling on his arm, forcing him to release his grip on her. He lowered his hand reluctantly and she put some distance between them.

She gave him a small concession. She wrapped her fingers ge
ntly around his and squeezed. His hand still hurt, but he didn’t care.

“Yes.”

“Good. This isn’t going to be easy, especially with Compton the way he is and Walsh….” She trailed off and her expression glazed over.  

He panicked and clutched at her arm, but she snapped out of it. “Jane? What just happened?”

“I don’t know if I can explain it, adequately. There’s a place, inside my mind, that’s plugged into him. Each hour that goes by, I’m closer to him, and, by extension, the ship. The download he gave me was part of that. It fits like puzzle pieces in my mind. It’s a kind of awareness—like knowing that someone you care about is there next to you, without having to look or speak. It’s getting easier and easier to hear him. I’m vaguely aware of his thoughts, some of them, anyway, in real time. It’s scary. But….” Her breath hitched. She stopped looking at him, staring instead at her hand, twined with his, in her lap.