Flying Backwards (2 page)

“How’s Phillip?” Eleanor knew what was coming next. “Any new wedding plans?”

“Phillip is fine. He’s been busy. We haven’t had time to plan anything.” Eleanor reached for the scone recipe to review it, even though she knew it by heart. Eleanor was twenty-three when she met Phillip at the software company. They had spent many late nights ordering take-out and getting to know one another better. The job had good pay and benefits, and dating Phillip made it exciting. Eleanor admired Phillip’s intelligence and dedication. There was something comforting about him. Maybe it was the fact that Phillip was seven years older than she was. He was successful, kindhearted, and he loved her. They’d gotten engaged two years after they started dating. Three more years had gone by without further wedding-planning progress.

“Well, I’m just saying, your eggs aren’t getting any younger. Your chances of having children start to decrease after the age of thirty.”

Eleanor wanted to be annoyed with her sister, but Victoria had been trying to have a baby for several years.

Their mother set out the measuring cups and gave Victoria a sympathetic smile.

“I’m
only
twenty-eight,” Eleanor tried to tease, but it failed to get a smile out of Victoria. Her tone became exasperated. “I’m engaged!” Children were the last thing on Eleanor’s mind right now.

“You’ll be
twenty-nine
in October–that’s barely two months away,” Victoria retorted.

Big deal, so she’d been engaged for three years. After the engagement, she’d moved into Phillip’s 1950s-style ranch in a quiet neighborhood. When Phillip had first moved to the area with a previous girlfriend, the girlfriend had picked out the house, and Phillip bought it. The girlfriend left him six months later. When Eleanor told him she wanted to get used to the big change of living together for a while before planning a wedding, Phillip had agreed, to make her happy.

After a couple hours of listening to small-town gossip while she worked, Eleanor was glad to hear familiar footsteps as her father’s shoes crunched across the driveway. Then Russ’s tall, broad frame filled the doorway. “Girls.” He nodded at the three women, who all paused to look up at him. Russ had been outside all morning tinkering with the lawnmower and cutting the grass as the air outside became hotter every hour.

“Hi, Dad,” Victoria and Eleanor said in unison.

Polly followed him in and headed for her water bowl. As Russ washed his hands and forearms he asked over his shoulder, “What time’s lunch?”

“Let me get you a cold drink.” Heidi wiped her hands on her apron and scooted to the refrigerator to pour her husband some lemonade. “I can fix you a sandwich. What would you like?” She rattled off his choices. He chose ham and gave his wife a wink as she handed him the full glass. He drank his lemonade and announced he would be back in five minutes. Russ told his faithful old dog to stay.

Eleanor used the interruption to make her getaway. “Well, I’ve got to get going,” she said. She pulled off the apron, balled it up, and crammed it into her bag.

“Do you want a sandwich? I’ve got plenty,” Heidi waved at the array of lunchmeats and cheeses she was pulling out of the refrigerator. “I can make tuna salad,” she offered.

“No thanks, Mom. I told Phillip we’d have lunch before heading to Home Depot this afternoon.”

“Are you finally renovating? Where are you going to start?” Victoria considered herself a great decorator and had frequently commented to Eleanor that if she did not make Phillip move them to a more suitable house (meaning one that his old girlfriend did not pick out), they should at least renovate the outdated ranch.

“Yeah, we’re looking at tile for the bathroom.” Their home had three bedrooms, one bathroom, an eat-in kitchen, and a living room with an attached sunroom. The house had last been remodeled in the ’80s, and every room badly needed updating.

“Let me know if you like something and want a second opinion.” When Victoria and Perry had bought a new-construction house a few years ago, she had dragged Eleanor to many stores shopping for everything from can openers to furniture.

“Okay.” Eleanor slung her bag over her shoulder as she headed for the door.

“Thanks for your help–and Eleanor, I made an extra loaf of banana bread for Phillip.” Heidi handed the neatly wrapped bundle to her daughter. “Dinner is at six tomorrow. You’re still coming?” Eleanor nodded.

“Of course. Good luck with the shower. Tell Mrs. Johnson I said congratulations.”

“I will. We should be finished by three. I’m making pork chops for dinner.” Heidi held the screen door open and waved to her daughter. Eleanor’s dad was heading back to eat his lunch.

“Bye, Dad, see you tomorrow.”

“Okay, kiddo, see you tomorrow,” Russ answered, never breaking his stride. Eleanor noticed her dad bending to kiss her mother, who stood holding the door, waiting for him. Her mother smiled up into her husband’s eyes before they disappeared inside. That got Eleanor thinking as she slipped into her blistering hot car.
What kind of greeting can I give Phillip when I get home?

Eleanor phoned Phillip as she pulled up to the local supermarket.

“Hello?” Phillip’s familiar, yet distracted, voice asked. That meant he couldn’t take his eyes off his computer screen to identify who was calling him. Eleanor was not surprised.

“Hey, it’s me. I’m at the market. I need to pick up a few things. Want anything special for lunch?” Eleanor enjoyed the cold blast of air conditioning that met her as she walked through the threshold of the grocery store, phone tucked into her shoulder.

“No. I just ate the leftover chicken and rice casserole.”

“Oh, you already ate. We were supposed to eat together and then go to the Depot.”
Does he ever listen to anything I say?
“Is there any left?”

“Sorry, pet, I finished it. I thought you’d eat at your mom’s.” Phillip’s pet name for Eleanor was not very original; what Eleanor had once thought charming was now just irritating.

“Never mind, I’m at the market now. I’ll pick something up here. Just be ready to go out soon.” To be fair, when he worked on the weekends it freed up her time to help her family, or go for a long run, or curl up with a good book. Sometimes it worked to her advantage.

“Got it. See you soon.” She disconnected and grabbed a basket, heading for the vegetables. She selected a healthy variety for a hearty salad. She whizzed down a few aisles collecting some staple items before heading for the frozen pizza. Tonight would be salad, pizza, and a movie–a typical Saturday night.

As Eleanor waited in line at the checkout, her mind drifted. She imagined arriving at home and giving Phillip a long passionate kiss that would lead to peeling each other’s clothes off while they stumbled their way to the bedroom. He had been working a lot, and they seemed to be in a rut. Maybe a brief delay before getting to the Depot would be a nice distraction. Eleanor’s heart was not really into shopping for tile.

She’d been trying to spice up their minimal love life. A few nights ago she’d surprised Phillip by joining him in the shower. She had caught him off guard, and he mumbled, “I’ll be done in a minute and it’s all yours.”

“What’s your rush?” she purred, wrapping her arms around his neck and moving in for a tantalizing kiss.

“Oh… Oh, this is unexpected.” He kissed her back for a moment before saying, “I’ll see you in the bedroom then. Just let me finish rinsing off.”

She stepped back briefly, and then she coyly tried again. “I thought maybe we could have some fun in here?”

“Na, let’s just go to the bedroom.”

Eleanor blinked back to reality as the cashier asked her if she wanted paper or plastic for her groceries.

Eleanor pulled her vehicle into the carport. She had been blasting the air conditioning the whole ten-mile ride home. Their house would be stuffy; they didn’t have central air conditioning.

Phillip appeared at the car door, his hair damp. “Need help?” She figured he’d jumped in the shower after hanging up with her. He looked cool in his light-blue polo shirt and khaki shorts. Unconsciously, she tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. She thought she must look a sight after sweating all morning in her mother’s kitchen.

“Hi! Sure, there are a few bags. Mom made you banana bread,” she said, opening the back door, revealing the paper bags and the bread. Phillip bent slightly to kiss her before retrieving the bags. They entered through a tiny mudroom, where Eleanor hung her purse on a peg and kicked off her flip-flops. “Sure is steamy today.” She poured a glass of lemonade.

Phillip unloaded the bags on the counter. “Want these in the fridge?” He indicated the vegetables. At Eleanor’s nod he piled the various items on the shelves. She sipped her lemonade and watched him as he placed the frozen pizza in the freezer, the canned beans in the cupboard, and sponges under the sink. He paused. “You look tired. Do you still want to go out?” Now was her chance. She needed to put her seductive scheme into action, give him that passionate kiss…

She paused only a moment before she said, “I’m fine. Just hungry, I guess.” She turned away and reached for a half loaf of bread to make a sandwich. Whether she could not face being turned down or she just didn’t want to be with him, she didn’t know.
What is happening to me?
She was content and happy, wasn’t she? She fought the lump in her throat. She felt like she was going to cry.
You are being ridiculous
, she told herself and shook it off.

Chapter Two

It was mid-October, and there was some welcome downtime for Clark’s Catering. Eleanor reluctantly agreed to shop for tile with Victoria. Her previous Depot outings with Phillip a couple months ago had no results. They had shrugged their shoulders at each other, disagreeing over plain or patterned tiles. Victoria took her procrastinating sister to a tile shop in a strip mall, where she made quick work of plucking out the perfect tile combinations for Eleanor’s approval. Victoria was in her element, enjoying herself, but Eleanor couldn’t ignore her nagging thoughts.
Does this really matter? Is this what I want
? She just didn’t care about that old house! Once again, she shook off the familiar melancholy feeling.

Victoria pointed to a coffee shop at the other end of the L-shaped plaza. “I need some caffeine.” As they moved in that direction Victoria’s cell phone rang. She dug through her huge designer purse and held up her index finger to Eleanor as she answered, “Clark’s Catering, Victoria speaking.”

Eleanor slowed to a stop in front of a travel agency office, lured by the various exotic posters advertising a tropical destination, a Mediterranean cruise, and a tour of London, Paris, and Rome. Eleanor had always wanted to go to Rome and Paris. In fact, in high school she came very close to going on a senior class trip to Paris. However, that was the year her dad’s union went on strike, and with the expense of Victoria’s college tuition and twelve-year-old Lizzy’s braces, the costs were too much for the Clark family budget.

Rome
: classical architecture built by the ancient Romans, the bountiful fountains…‌and the food… She could almost taste the cheesy eggplant parmesan she imagined. She’d always dreamed of traveling.

Her daydream drew her in deeper… She glimpsed his dark sexy eyes meeting hers across the Piazza di Trevi. His teeth flashed white against his sun-kissed skin. This stranger with hunky good looks was coming straight for her… His sensual smile made her heart pound.

Victoria’s voice jolted Eleanor back to reality. “Sorry, that was the Cooper bride with a question about the beef medallions. Of course, we can get grass-fed beef. Everyone wants it these days. Oh, you’ll love her colors, dark orange and purple. Different, huh?”

“Yeah.” Eleanor looked longingly back at the poster of Rome, her hunky Italian’s smiling face fading away. “Yeah, can’t wait to see that combo.”

They each ordered a latte and sat outside at one of the café’s two bistro tables. “So, Eleanor, what’s up with you lately? You seem so glum. Is it because you turned twenty-nine? Getting older sucks! Sorry I was on your case about your eggs a while ago.”

Eleanor’s replied nonchalantly, “No, I don’t care about that.” This restlessness she was feeling was worrying her, but how could she talk about it with Victoria when she didn’t even know herself why it was happening? Worse yet, what could she do about it.

Her birthday had been another confirmation that something was amiss. She’d looked forward to a fun night out at Champ’s Billiards with her sisters and the guys. They’d gotten a table, ordered food, and then shot pool while listening to a live local band. Eleanor sat off to the side where she could watch the band and still see Perry boast good-naturedly after every shot. The band dialed it back to a classic Journey song that got the whole bar singing and swaying to the melancholy lyrics. It was her night, her birthday celebration–why didn’t she feel the joy they did? The thought had sobered her.

Promptly at midnight her sisters called out birthday wishes, which prompted others around the bar to respond in kind. Phillip walked up to her, smiling, “Happy Birthday, pet.” He leaned in to kiss her, and she practically held her breath.
Let this kiss be magical
, she prayed. Time seemed suspended. She felt a smoochie kiss. When she opened her eyes to see Phillip’s retreating face her heart sank.

She had to force a smile. The epiphany, the revelation that there was
no
magic, was buzzing through her. Eleanor vowed to herself, then and there,
I’m going to make my life better… I can’t live like this and feel like this anymore.

Victoria peered over her coffee cup at her sister. “Seriously,” she asked with concern in her voice, “what is going on with you, Eleanor?”

Eleanor sat facing the travel agency, feeling wistful. “I think I need a vacation.”

“Don’t we all,” Victoria muttered into her cup.

“I just wish I could go somewhere really far away.” Eleanor’s statement resounded in her mind. Far away, escape my life…

“Well, if you got married, you could honeymoon somewhere really far away.” That made sense to Victoria, but Eleanor was thinking about a solo trip.