Follow You Down (22 page)

It’s a really shitty feeling to watch two people who truly love each other find a way to make their relationship work when yours is falling apart. Seriously shitty.

As soon as Molly and Logan have kissed and made up, I head back for Monroe. Maybe I can see Dani and change her mind. She has to understand that I never hid things from her to hurt her. I did it because, in my fucked up mind, I thought I was protecting her. The drive is long, and despite driving ninety the whole way home, I have too much time on my hands to think of all the ways this could go wrong.

Part of me thinks she hates me by now, which she should. But I know Dani; she is too good of a person to really hate anyone, even me. I wonder how much she’s cried since she spoke to Candice. How many times she’s wished she never met me.

Hours later, after I have fucked with my own head by thinking over every possible negative situation that could arise, I pull into Dani’s apartment building’s parking lot. I doubt she will want to see me, but I have to make her understand where my mindset was when everything happened. Make her see that despite my fuckups, I love her and I won’t give up on her.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

I see Jason walking out of the building as I approach the door.

“Look, man, I know you hate me, but right now, I need to see Dani. She and I have to talk about some things.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong, Lucas. Y’all don’t have shit to talk about. You hurt her. She dumped your ass. The end.”

“Jason, I know she’s your friend and you’re just trying to protect her, but you really don’t understand the situation.”

“I don’t understand the situation? I’ll tell you what I don’t understand, Lucas. I don’t understand how a guy like you was even lucky enough to get a girl like Dani in the first place. I don’t understand how, once you got her, you decided you could lie to her so easily. I don’t understand how you could be fucking dumb enough to think I will let you in this building. But I understand the situation. I had to fireman carry the situation into my sister’s apartment last night because she was crying so much she couldn’t walk. I had to sleep on a fucking chair because the situation passed out on the couch from crying. Then, today, I had to hold the situation while she cried and cussed for over an hour because of you. So don’t tell me I don’t understand the situation, Lucas, because I do. I understand the situation enough to know that you need to get the fuck out of here and leave Dani alone for good.”

“Jason, I get what you’re saying, I really do, but there’s no way you can stop me from getting in that building.” I try to shoulder past him, but he pushes me in the chest with both hands.

“Don’t start this shit, Jason. Just move out of my way.”

He stands like a suited brick wall in front of the door. “No, Lucas. And if you even take another step toward this door, I won’t be responsible for what happens next.”

What does that even mean? It’s not like Mr. Suit and Tie is going to do shit to me.

I take a step toward the door, but am stopped short by a fist flying to my nose. My eyes instantly water from the impact and I can feel the blood rushing down my face.

I grab my face and fold over in pain. “What the fuck, Jason? You just broke my nose!”

“Yeah, I did, dickhead. You broke my friend’s heart, now we’re even. Get the fuck out of here.”

This time I don’t argue. Jason can obviously dish out a good throw and I am in no shape to try to fight with him right now.

I think about going to the emergency room, but change my mind. It’ll heal on its own. Instead, I drive to my mother’s house. I need two things only a mother can provide, homemade cookies and good advice.

By the time I get there, the bleeding has stopped, but my shirt is soaked in blood. I grab a clean one from by bag in my backseat and throw it on. While the bleeding has stopped, the bruises have set in. She is going to flip shit when she sees me.

I walk in without knocking. “Mom?”

There is a pot of spaghetti sauce cooking on the stove and I can smell cookies in the oven. This is why I come over every Sunday. And to see my mom.

“Lucas, is that you?”

“Nope, just a burglar calling you Mom. I’m about to steal all your shit. Including this spaghetti sauce.”

She walks in just as I’m about to dip my finger into the pot, slapping it with the dish towel from over her shoulder.

“What the hell, Mom?”

“No eating the sauce till it’s done. You know that! And watch your mouth in this house, mister.”

“Sorry, Mom.” I lean down to kiss her check and I can tell the exact moment she notices the bruises.

“Lucas Wade, what the hell happened to your face?”

“Language, Mom!”

I laugh, she doesn’t. “This isn’t funny, young man. What happened?”

“Oh, this,” I touch my nose and quickly realize that was a terrible idea, “I ran into a wall. No big deal.”

She raises an eyebrow at me. “You ran into a wall?”

“Yes, ma’am. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.”

“You boys cause my blood pressure to go up, I swear. Come sit down, the cookies will be done soon.”

We walk into the living room and I sprawl out on the couch while my mother sits on the loveseat.

“So, oldest son of mine, to what do I owe this lovely visit?”

“It’s Sunday, Mom. I always come over on Sundays.”

“I know, but usually Dani is with you, and she’s not today, so what did you do?”

“How do you know I did something?”

“Because I raised you. Now what the hell did you do to that girl?”

“We broke up, Mom. Well, she broke up with me. I lied to her about some stuff and she can’t forgive me for it.”

“I can’t say I blame her. You can’t build a relationship on dishonesty.”

“Really, Mom! You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. I’m supposed to be honest with you. And honestly, if you lied to Dani, then she has every right to end it with you.”

“Her friend punched me in the nose. He said since I broke her heart and he broke my nose, we were even now.”

“That sounds like a fair trade.”

“He also said she had cried all night because of me.”

“Well, that’s good.”

I sit up and look at her, confused as to what she means. “How is Dani crying a good thing?”

“Because that means she still cares. Now, when she quits crying and can be around you without her smile even cracking a little, that’s when you need to worry. Because that means she doesn’t love you anymore. Tears suck, but they mean she still cares. Just make sure you find a way to win her back before the tears stop.”

A week later, I pull my truck into Ricky’s and put it in park. I haven’t seen her in eight days. Eight fucking days since I have seen her red hair or heard the way she says my name. Eight days since I’ve kissed her, held her. Eight days too many.

I don’t really have a plan. I’m just hoping she has had some time to cool down and think about everything, and she’s willing to give me a chance to at least begin to rebuild her trust in me. We can take it slow as snails. I just need her to give me the chance to make this better.

I walk in and my eyes instinctively search for Dani. It doesn’t take me long to find her. She’s behind the bar, laughing and chatting with some of the regulars who are sitting there. Her red hair is in a ponytail and it’s hanging to one side. She looks fucking gorgeous, as usual. She’s wearing her Ricky’s shirt and a pair of dark jeans that hug her ass perfectly. I miss her. I miss fucking her. I miss her sweet strawberry scent. I miss everything.

She notices me approaching the bar and smiles softy at me. That’s a good start, right. At least she’s not shooting lasers at me with her eyes.

“Hey, Dani.” Molly walks up and puts her hand on Dani’s shoulder and gestures her head toward me. “Why don’t you take your break.”

“Thanks, Molly.”

She rounds the bar and heads for the front door with me walking right behind her. The way her hips swing with every step drives me insane.

She walks to her jeep and leans against it.

I wait for her to speak, but when she doesn’t, I take the lead.

“Listen, Red, I… well, I was hoping we could talk about everything that happened. I made some mistakes, some real big ones, but I want to make it up to you.”

“Lucas, there isn’t anything you need to make up for. Now that I’ve had some time to think about it, we rushed things way too much. We didn’t even really take the time to get to know each other before we jumped in bed together. A relationship like that is doomed from the start.”

She opens up the door to her jeep and grabs a box off the passenger seat.

“Here’s all your stuff that was at my apartment. I was gonna give it to Logan tonight, but since you’re here, I’ll just give it to you.”

I take the box from her hands and stand in front of her, speechless. She doesn’t look hurt. Or mad. She looks happy, like she doesn’t have a care in the world.

“Hey,” she places her hand on my chest and I can feel the heat from her touch through my shirt, “don’t be a stranger, okay? Come in whenever you get a chance and hang out.” She starts to walk back toward the door of Ricky’s. “Your next round is on me.” With that, she smiles and fades away into the loud music inside.

I remember what my mother told me, and I instantly feel dread. Dani’s smile didn’t even crack, not even a little.

My mom has been here for two days, and she is already driving me insane. She keeps tiptoeing around me like I’m made of glass and I’ll shatter at any minute. Between her and Jasmine, the only alone time I get is when I pee or shower. And sometimes when I shower, Jasmine sits on the counter and talks to me.

I can hear them whispering when I’m out of the room. Both of them think that I will break down any day now, but they’re wrong.

It’s been two weeks since shit went downhill with Lucas, and even though it still hurts like hell, I’m working through it. I’m not willing to forgive him, so there’s no point in trying to make something work that won’t, and crying over it won’t do any good either. So, I’ve gone on about my life like everything is normal.

Yes, sometimes I feel like my heart hurts so bad it may break and never recover. And sometimes I cry when I’m in the shower. And I still sleep with Lucas’ pillow because it still smells like him, but everything is fine.

Well, everything besides Jasmine and my mother at least.

I walk into my living room and see them both sitting on my couch, wine glass in hand, whispering to each other.

“For God’s sake y’all, I’m right here! No need to whisper about me, just tell me whatever is on your mind.
”

Jasmine answers first, “We’ve told you what’s on our minds, you are in denial.”

“Ugh. No, I’m not. I’m behaving like a rational adult; maybe you two should try it sometime.”

“Don’t get sassy with me, Dani Gail!” My mom is quick to remind me when I get an attitude with her.

“Sorry, Mom. I’m just so tired of y’all treating me with kid gloves.

“We’re just worried about you, dear.”

“I know, Mom, but I really am okay. Yes, it sucks that things ended with Lucas, but it was inevitable. Lucas and I aren’t relationship people. It was never going to work. End of story.”

Jasmine is quick to respond, “So you have no feelings left for Lucas?” Of course, I do so many feelings that I don’t know where to put all of them.

“Of course I don’t. He’s a nice guy, and maybe we can be friends one day, but that’s it.”

“So let me set you up on a date then. There are some great single guys who work for Jason. Let me set you up with one.” There is a challenge in her eyes. She’s expecting me to say no, and when I do, she and my mother both will call me out on the feelings I still have for Lucas. I can’t let that happen, so I agree.

“Sure, why not. I’m off Saturday and Sunday.”

“Great.” Jasmine and I are now having a stare down. “I will have whoever I choose pick you up here at eight.”

“Sounds wonderful.” I know she can sense the sarcasm in my voice.

It doesn’t sound wonderful. It sounds terrible actually, but I will be damned if I’m going to let my mother and Jasmine think they’re right. Even though they are.