For a Roman's Heart (21 page)

“Be safe, Adrenia. Lock this door behind me.”

When he left she quickly latched the door and sagged onto the bed and closed her eyes. Her encounter with him had left her one part exhausted, another part elated. That two such feelings could exist within her at the same time confused her, but she should be used to it now with Terentius Marius Atellus. Despite her circumstances, despite her aloneness in the world, she had the knowledge that at least a solitary person cared what happened to her.

Adrenia sat on a bench in the courtyard, her cloak gathered around her. The temperature had warmed some during the day and melted snow. Puddles dabbled courtyard stonework, and her breath puffed out in the cold.

Adrenia closed her eyes and drank in this tiny piece of nature. Despite the cold, it kept her mind clearer and less apt to wander into melancholia. She recognized exhaustion when she felt it. Nightmares had broken her slumber last night. Fire, screams and stench of burning flesh haunted her thoughts even during the day. She shuddered as memories intruded. She drew in one deep breath and then another, trying to find the inner quiet nature provided.

She couldn’t wait until Terentius came for her tonight.

A shadow fell near Adrenia and she started.

“Adrenia.” Cordus walked toward her. Dressed formally, he appeared ready for important political business in town. “How good it is to see you out.”

He smiled, and she managed to return the expression even though her heart pounded. “Thank you, sir. Your hospitality made it possible.”

He came closer, and she saw an odd light in his eyes. Uncertainty perhaps. He smiled and nodded toward the bench near her. “Is it all right if I sit?”

“Please.”

He settled on the long bench, far enough away for comfort. “I know talking about your parents must be painful, and that is why I haven’t mentioned this before.”

“I appreciate your thoughtfulness.”

He smiled, but the expression didn’t hold. “I’d like to honor Terentius for saving your life. In a couple of days perhaps we’ll have a dinner and invite people to celebrate his bravery.”

What could she say? She could see Cordus wanted approval. “I thank you.”

He sighed, his eyes going harder and concerned. “I see your hesitation and understand it, too. It is a touchy situation when...well, frankly, when a death is so tragic and violent.”

“What sort of honor would you give him?”

“At the beginning of the dinner we will offer food and drink to Jupiter, Mars, and Minerva. Cordia tells me you worship at the altar to Coventina. Perhaps you would like to offer something to this goddess as well. I’ll ask Terentius if he wishes to offer anything to the gods.”

Adrenia swallowed hard. “If you think it should be done, sir.”

He stood and paced along a short length of the sizable courtyard. A cold breeze wafted over her, prickling the hair along her arms. “I think it is only right.”

Adrenia hadn’t expected this. “Sir, I am beyond grateful for your hospitality and protection. So many would have left me to the cold. I am—”

“My dear.” He held up one hand. “I didn’t expect praise. This was the only right thing to do. Brigomalla once served me well. So well I felt it necessary to reward him with his freedom. As a result, you were born a free woman. As the daughter of a freedman who was attacked most viciously, I can do nothing less.” He turned his gaze into the heavens. His slow pacing didn’t stop. “There is one thing I must ask, however. And this may seem extremely intrusive, especially at a time like this. My daughter is at a very marriageable age.”

Wary of where he planned to head with the conversation, she didn’t fill the silence when he paused.

He cleared his throat. “You are older and more experienced with men than my daughter, no doubt.”

She frowned. “My life with my parents was somewhat...cloistered. They didn’t approve of me associating with men without a chaperone.”

“Yet you associated with Terentius.”

Her stomach tightened. “I’m not certain I know what you mean, sir.”

He turned the full effect of his piercing gaze upon her. “Do not worry, my dear. I’m not trying to trap you into saying anything to blacken your reputation. But my eyes are wide open. I was a soldier for thirty years, and I know a soldier’s mind. Terentius is a new centurion, trying his wings and showing his masculinity. Part of his rank responsibility is to show other soldiers the right way to live. If he takes a wife now he may be considered either foolish or ambitious. Any soldier who plans to climb the ranks knows having a helpmate at his side can be invaluable. I discovered that in Nerva.”

Her mind raced. Fear warned her as well as intuition. She wanted to run away from whatever he planned to say next, but common sense held her in place.

“Are you saying I should marry Terentius?” she asked, blurting out the question.

He chuckled softly and without sarcasm. “I’m saying that there are rumors that you and Terentius are affianced. Is such a rumor true?”

That wasn’t what she expected him to say. She hesitated. “We are not.”

Though he nodded, he didn’t look convinced, and that worried her. “Good. For you see, Cordia finds Terentius intriguing. As a father, I see these things even when she thinks I don’t. Cordia is a...well...willful young woman.” He returned to pacing. “Because of that, I would have her marry a man capable of keeping her under control without harming her. A difficult thing to do.”

A cold, hard knot formed in Adrenia’s stomach as she understood his angle. Still, she would not say it. Would not ask what she knew he would tell her anyway.

Adrenia drew from wells of inner strength. Those embers, that fire she relied upon to keep her moving forward flickered. “I see. You wanted to make sure there is no understanding between me and Terentius.”

“Exactly.”

As she acknowledged the truth, a dull ache thudded in her heart. “We are not betrothed.”

“Good.” He started to move away, back the way he originally had come. “Very well my dear, I have business in town. I will see you much later.”

Without another word, he entered the double doors and disappeared from view. Shaking inside, Adrenia analyzed why this situation brought her such pain. Terentius needed a woman who would love him and not see him as a stepping-stone to higher wealth and privilege. He needed a woman who would give her heart with everything inside her with no blemishes on her past. He deserved that. Adrenia knew Cordia didn’t meet the requirements for any of these qualities. After all, she planned to force him into marriage. She clenched her fists in her lap. She spread her fingers and tried to relax.

Hesitating between two ideas, her mind raced for an answer. She didn’t want to see a man like Terentius trapped by Cordia. He was an honorable man, yes. Brave and strong and attractive. A woman could do far worse than to be his wife.

But she also couldn’t abide the idea of him married to Cordia.

Chapter Eleven

“Antaene animis caelestibus irae.”

(Is there so much anger in the minds of the gods?)

Virgil

Roman Poet, 70 BC–19 BC

“Where are we going?” Adrenia asked as Terentius directed their horse toward the east and the center of Durovigutum.

“A private bath. My friends Capito and Longa own it. They purchased the house not long ago and plan to rent it out. It has space and privacy.”

“My goddess.” Her heartbeat skipped and tumbled, and she swallowed hard. “He’s letting you use it for tonight?”

“Yes.” Terentius smoothed a warm touch over her belly once more. She wriggled her hips a bit, and he hissed in a breath.

Adrenia sighed as she leaned back into Terentius’s secure embrace. Before long they traversed Durovigutum’s streets. Sounds and smells grew together in the town’s rumble. Few people even glanced at them as they rode by. Far too many other people traversed the area on horseback, including the occasional soldiers.

As they rode into the deepening night, she couldn’t ignore Terentius’s possessive hand on her lower belly. Anyone taking the time to observe would understand the meaning behind that touch. She was his and his alone, if not in marriage, in the bond of their bodies. As his warm breath stirred the hair at the top of her head, excitement rose. She hoped and feared they’d find the heights of ecstasy they’d discovered before. Part of her worried it wasn’t possible. After all, now the urgency had left, and the threat of death didn’t hang over them, how would they regain that deliciousness? Could they create anything that wonderful again?

Terentius shifted on the horse, and his arm tightened around her. His hips pressed into Adrenia. A hot stirring coiled in her stomach. Oh, yes. He did want her, and his desire built hers. She squirmed.

“Patience.” The husky sound of his voice increased her gathering desire. “We have all night.”

Though she understood his meaning, she asked, “For what?”

He whispered into her ear. “For us to come together. Me, deep within you. Tasting you. Learning your secrets. And if you chose, you learning my secrets.”

Fine shivers of delight went through her. “Are you sure I haven’t shown you all my secrets?”

He chuckled. “I’m sure.”

She’d never understood the sensual undercurrents between a man and woman so well as she did now. For his heat, his strength, everything within this man breathed new life and excitement into her. She couldn’t resist what her life presented, swept away on eager cravings to understand Terentius. She wanted to experience what these powerful wantings meant and if she could fall into their secrets without losing herself. Perhaps she could learn who she really was soon. Maybe within his embrace the truth would free her.

“Capito and Longa would like very much to meet you. Longa in particular has a proposition for you,” he said.

“Proposition?”

“After I told them about your weaving talent, Longa became very excited. She says that she would love to partner with you in opening your business. She already knows several women who would not only buy clothes for their children, but for themselves. Rich women who would spend the money on your wares rather than weave their own or require slaves to do it.”

Amazement stopped her from speaking.

When she said nothing, his voice held a tinge of worry. “Are you angry with me for telling them about your situation?”

She smiled and her hands slipped over his strong forearms. “No. This is...I do not have the words for it. It’s wonderful.”

“Then you will talk with Longa about it? She knows the perfect place in the forum where you could rent space.”

“I will speak with her.”

“Good.” He kissed the top of her head.

Once more his big hand slid upward until he cupped her breast. He lightly pinched her nipple, and she gasped. “Terentius.”

“Mmm?”

“What are you doing?”

“What does it feel like? Don’t worry. Just enjoy it.”

And enjoy she did. As he cupped and touched, tweaked and stroked, her arousal heightened. Between her legs, a keen yearning for completion built.

Her entire body flushed, but she didn’t speak.

“Will there be slaves at Capito and Longa’s place?” she asked a few moments later.

“They told me they’ve hired a man for the night. He is stoking fires for the
caldarium
.” Once more his breath touched her ear. His tongue slid warmly over her earlobe, and she shivered in pleasure. “We shall be all alone otherwise.”

“I wish we could be entirely alone.”

“You fear the man watching us while we love?”

“Of course.”

“He is hired to ignore everything but heating water.”

“That doesn’t mean he won’t look.”

He laughed. “Sometimes having others watch is exciting.”

She gasped and twisted around enough to deliver a withering look. “Honestly? People do that?”

“You know they do. Don’t play that innocent with me.”

“Maybe I do know...but I’ve never...”

“No one will watch us. Ever. I want you all to myself.”

His possessiveness should have bothered her, but instead she enjoyed the concept. She wanted to be his woman. Now and forever.

The idea shocked her.

His. Forever.

How could she stay his and still be...herself?

They reached Capito and Longa’s residence and rode around to the back to the stables. After tying up the horse, Terentius unlocked the back door and they entered. A short man appeared in a doorway. He greeted them and explained he was hired to keep the bath water hot for them. He directed them further into the house. They lit oil lamps and Adrenia wandered along with Terentius, admiring the mosaics, the atrium and other rooms that gave the appearance of a small villa.

“Come,” Terentius said, “let’s discover the bath.”

The hired man told them to venture ahead, and he’d bring them food. At the mention of a meal, her stomach growled.

Nestled into a corner of the home, they discovered rooms designed to represent separate baths for men and women. The high ceilings, elaborate frescos and mosaic flooring defined wealth. The baths weren’t as large as those at Cordus Villa but provided a more intimate experience. Shaped in a square, the baths held three compartments. One held the
tepidarium
, one the
frigidarium
and the other the
caldarium
.