(For His Pleasure 14) With His Belief (7 page)

Nicole sighed. “Don’t let them get to you,” she told Scarlett, rolling her eyes good-naturedly. “They’re like children.”

“No, do let us get to you,” Danielle said. “If you aren’t with Bryson yet, you should seriously give it some thought. I mean, he’s gorgeous—if I wasn’t with my man, I’d be all over that. Wouldn’t you, Nicole?”

Before Nicole could even answer, Lydia jumped in. “He’s hot, but my Sean is so amazing—I’d never even really look at another man and have those kind of thoughts.”

Scarlett frowned. Wasn’t Lydia just talking the other day about how hot Bryson was, about the things she’d like to do to him?

Danielle’s eyes narrowed. “I’m quite happy with Kane, believe me.”

“Oh, I wasn’t questioning that,” Lydia replied. Then she cocked her head. “Isn’t Kane Wright kind of an older man? Are you having one of those May-December romances? That is totally romantic, in my book.” She sighed happily. “It’s kind of like a Nicholas Sparks novel. Although, someone always dies in those. Not that Kane’s old enough to, you know, die.” She said the last part as a question, though, like she wasn’t really sure.

Danielle’s lips pursed. “Really, I’m so glad you approve. I don’t know what I would have done otherwise.” She turned to Nicole. “Some people need to learn manners. This isn’t a sorority house in Kentucky.”

Lydia rolled her eyes and took a swig of the champagne she was holding. “I’m just having fun. Don’t be so touchy. Jeez.”

Scarlett was actually relieved that the two of them had so spectacularly clashed, because they’d forgotten about her and Bryson. Although the vibe in the room was now distinctly chilly and awkward, Nicole tried to smooth things over.

Each of them had a drink in hand and Nicole brought in a tray of veggies and dip and set it on the beautiful center glass table. They sat on the lush cream-colored couch and matching chairs that surrounded the table, eating, drinking and discussing what might be fun to do for Kallie’s shower.

It was cute, Scarlett thought, the way Nicole was trying so hard on Kallie’s behalf. She had a little notebook out and was taking down ideas and suggestions, almost always nodding and commenting on what a great idea it was, no matter who said what and how ridiculous the idea might be.

A few minutes into the conversation, Red appeared in the doorway holding the baby in his arms. He grinned. “Hello, ladies. Hope we’re not interrupting.”

“Of course not,” Danielle squealed. “Riley honey! Aunty Danielle misses you so much! Did you just wake up, honey?” She walked over to Red and plucked the tiny baby from his arms, making faces and cooing at her. “Hello, little one. Hello. Are you so tired?”

Red chuckled. “She might be a little cranky. Just like her daddy gets when he wakes up.”

Nicole smiled. “Only she doesn’t need three cups of coffee before she fully opens her eyes in the morning.”

Red shrugged. “What can I say—I’m addicted.” He looked at Scarlett and Lydia.

“Sorry, I’m being rude. How are you ladies doing?”

“Very well,” Scarlett said, slightly taken aback by Red Jameson’s obvious physical presence and sexual allure.
What was it about Hunter and everyone he hung out
with?
she thought. They were all powerful, male specimens with charismatic power.

Lydia went over and shook his hand. “I can’t tell you how excited I’ve been to meet you. I’m a huge, huge fan of your work.”

“Oh? Thanks.” He cocked an eyebrow and gave Nicole a bit of a surprised glance.

“I mean, Kallie’s talked so much about you and Nicole and everything you both have done for her. And I sometimes think she hopes Hunter will be kind of like a Red Junior.”

Red laughed uncomfortably. “Hunter is doing quite fine being himself. Last I checked, I never disarmed a crazed gunman and took a bullet in the process.”

Lydia rolled her eyes. “The media does have a way of overstating these things, Red. I think you know that better than anybody. I mean, do you really think he
disarmed
a crazed gunman?
Because that would be pretty gullible.”

Nicole got up and clapped her hands. “I just remembered, I really wanted to show everyone the baby’s room. It’s so cute, what Red’s done with it.”

Nicely done, Scarlett thought, as Nicole led them upstairs to baby Riley’s room.

Nicole had wanted to stop that conversation dead and she did it tactfully, without anybody noticing her efforts.

After looking at the baby’s room for a while, and taking turns holding baby Riley, they all went back downstairs. Scarlett was holding her now, and feeling the soft and warm body in her arms was awakening something in her that surprised her greatly.

She looked down into Riley’s liquid, brown eyes. Riley stared back up at her, giggling and smiling.

“You are a happy baby, aren’t you?”

Riley agreed that she was, with a huge, toothless grin.

Scarlett looked at her and felt a catch in her chest. It was a deep ache, a realization that holding this little being, this innocent little girl—this was the most natural thing in the world. Scarlett suddenly understood that she was supposed to have a child.

How could a realization like that hit her out of the blue, in such a random circumstance, surrounded by strangers? While holding a stranger’s child, in fact?

She didn’t know. All she really knew was that it made her deeply happy and sad, unfulfilled but somehow hopeful all at once. Knowing what you wanted was half the battle, after all—wasn’t it?

It might help if you had a willing male partner in the picture—not to mention, the
ability to support yourself and your child financially.

Scarlett sighed from deep in her chest.

“Hey,” Nicole said, coming up next to her and smiling at her and then at Riley.

“She’s very sweet,” Scarlett said, handing Riley back to her mother. Riley reached out her arms and embraced her mother.

Something about the little girl’s absolutely love and trust for her mother, and Nicole’s caring, nurturing response—caused Scarlett to lose it completely.

The tears came from nowhere and everywhere at once. “Excuse me,” she said, and rushed from the room. She didn’t even know where the bathroom was, but she ran down the long hallway until she found one.

Of course, the bathroom was large and immaculate, big enough to live in if someone had the desire to do so.

Scarlett closed the door and let the tears really come forth. She was sobbing, crying in a way that she hadn’t done in some time.

Am I going crazy? She wondered.

Maybe. Maybe she was. In a way, she didn’t really care. In a way, it felt amazing to let it out and feel everything for once.

Just seeing that small, loving interaction between mother and daughter had triggered so many memories from her past. She’d pushed so much of that stuff down, tried not to think about it or how it had all affected her for so long.

But the truth was, it hurt. It hurt that she didn’t have that love, had never felt the unconditional love of a parent who would do anything for her.

And beyond that, she didn’t have a child of her own that might allow her to at least give love to. Heck, she didn’t even have a pet.

There was a knock on the door. It was Nicole. “Hey, Scarlett. Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Scarlett called back, blowing her nose and wiping her eyes, recovering.

“I’m sorry about that.”

“Can I come in or—”

Scarlett wiped her eyes again. She thought about saying that she’d be out in a moment, but instead she went against her instincts. She went and opened the door, allowing Nicole into the bathroom.

Nicole’s eyes were concerned, but kind—so kind. It made Scarlett picture the baby reaching out and Nicole taking Riley into her arms. And that made the waterworks turn on yet again.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” Scarlett shook her head as the sobs wracked her body. “I didn’t want to do this tonight. I didn’t want to make a scene.”

“It’s okay,” Nicole said. And then she pulled Scarlett in for a big, loving hug that seemed to make everything better, just as it did for little Riley.

Scarlett actually allowed herself to enjoy Nicole’s kind embrace. “Thank you for being understanding.”

“Listen, I can’t tell you how many tears I shed at awkward times in my life,”

Nicole joked.

Scarlett went and got some more tissues to wipe her eyes, noting her running mascara as she sniffled. “Well, I think I might have you beat in that department.”

“So,” Nicole said, backing away and crossing her arms. “Do you want to talk about what’s wrong? I can keep a pretty good secret.”

“It’s not some big secret,” Scarlett sighed. “It’s just—my life.”

“Sure. I know the feeling.”

“Something about seeing you and Riley…” She took a deep breath. “I think if I talk about it more I’m going to start bawling again.”

Nicole’s eyes were still sympathetic. There wasn’t an ounce of judgment there from what Scarlett could tell. “There’s nothing wrong with having strong emotions, Scarlett.”

“I suppose maybe I haven’t learned that lesson in my life,” Scarlett said. “I didn’t really have people around me, adults, who taught me that it was okay to feel things. In fact, I pretty much learned that the more I kept things inside, the better it was for me growing up.”

“That’s a shame. You deserved better than that.”

“Maybe so.” She took in another shuddering breath and tried to calm her beating heart. “It was what it was.”

“Maybe you’ll change that when you have a family someday.”

Scarlett looked up at her as if Nicole had read her mind.

Nicole smiled and reached over and touched Scarlett’s arm softly. “I believe things in life happen when you’re ready for them and not a minute sooner.”

Scarlett shook her head. She didn’t know why, but she suddenly felt much better.

“You should be a therapist.”

“I’m just someone who’s been through similar issues. You know, we’re all damaged in some way. You’re not as different as you might think.”

“I feel different.” She looked down at her hands, twisting them in her lap nervously. “It seems like everyone has someone special but me. And the person I want—” she stopped. Nicole and Kallie were close, and she couldn’t risk talking about Bryson right now. It would compromise too much. She shook her head.

Nicole seemed to get it. “You’d be surprised how things can change on a dime.

Whatever it is, or whoever it is that you’re dealing with, never underestimate how much circumstances can fluctuate. One day you’re alone, crying and tortured, and then months later you can be having the time of your life with people that you love. And vice versa.”

Scarlett laughed. “So what you’re saying is, it’s just one big crapshoot?”

Nicole grinned. “I don’t have all the answers. I’m just hanging on by my fingernails myself.”

“You seem like you’ve got a pretty good grip on things.”

“It’s called acting.”

“Danielle should get lessons from you.”

Nicole giggled and put a hand over her mouth. “Okay, come on. Let’s return, shall we?”

They walked back to the living room where Danielle and Lydia and Red and Riley were all talking. As much as Scarlett thought she’d made some huge scene, it seemed as if no one had noticed her absence.

A little while later, Red took Riley again, as she’d begun crying. “I’ll bring her upstairs and feed her,” he said.

“It’s okay, I can do it,” Nicole told him.

“No, no. You just have fun with your friends,” he said.

“Oh! He is so sweet,” Lydia cried, hand on her chest.

“Remember that honey, next time I act like an ass,” Red said, winking at Nicole.

Then he walked over and gave her a long kiss on the lips.

“Now you’re just showing off,” Danielle said, as he carried Riley and walked out of the room, waving goodbye.

“You snagged a good one,” Lydia said sighing. “I hope my Sean is that kind of man, and not some weirdo like Hunter.”

Scarlett stared at her. Did the woman not realize this was a get together where they were planning for Kallie’s wedding shower—and that Kallie was in fact marrying that “weirdo?”

“How is Hunter a weirdo?” Danielle asked. “Other than the fact that he’s refused to publish a sequel to his hit book.”

Lydia rolled her eyes and took a long sip from her drink. “Whatever, his books have nothing to do with it. Although doesn’t he write weird books with love and murder?” She looked at the group knowingly, like this meant something.

Scarlett shot her a look, feeling the need to stick up for Hunter. “Well he’s been nothing but good to me.”

Lydia met her gaze. “I guess I just don’t like keeping my mouth shut when it comes to my friend’s happiness and safety.”

Nicole looked at them both. “I don’t get it. Am I missing something?”

“No,” Scarlett said firmly.

“I guess not,” Lydia shrugged and downed more of her drink.

“Weird,” Danielle said, raising her eyebrows. “Anyway, moving on. Are you excited about me coming on set this week?”

Scarlett nodded, although she hadn’t known Danielle had even gotten a role, let alone been asked to come to set this week. “I can’t wait. That’s super exciting.”

“I guess everyone’s getting to hang around on this film but me,” Lydia said, her eyes narrowing.

“Hang around?” Danielle said. “Not exactly, honey. I’m an actress and I have a part in the film.” She turned her back on Lydia as she spoke. Her cheeks were aflame.

“Well, I don’t know about your part. I just know
some people
made some promises that they don’t seem like they want to keep.”

Scarlett sighed. “I’m sure people are going to keep their promises.”

“Good, because otherwise things are going to get ugly around here.”

“Lydia, it sounds like you’re making threats,” Nicole said.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Lydia replied, looking innocent.

“Maybe she’s just trying to get attention,” Danielle said.

Lydia put a hand on her hip. “If I was trying to get your attention, you’d know it.

And I wouldn’t do it by wearing some hideous green skirt from the seventies.”