For Keeps (Aggie's Inheritance) (26 page)

“
The shot made me very sleepy, but it also stopped a very bad disease that could have made me very sick, or even
--”
She hesitated. Mentioning death at a highly emotionally charged mom
ent was a recipe for disaster that could result in histrionics
.
“
Worse.
”

“
But the puppies didn’t step on nails, Aunt Aggie!
”
Kenzie’s literal translation of Aggie’s words nearly sent the frazzled young woman into a tirade she’d regret for days.

Luke stepped in, his supplies locked in the cab of his truck.
“
May I?
”

“
They’re all yours. When you’re done with them, Cari owes me an apology for kicking me.
”

Happy to get away, Aggie scooped up Ian and carried him into the house. While she loaded the dishwasher for the third time that morning, Aggie opened a lower cabinet full of plastic containers for Ian to stack, dump, and slide across the floor. As she worked, she sang.
“
Take time to be holy; be calm in thy soul. Each thought and each motive, beneath his control. Thus…
”

She didn’t even realize she’d started at the last verse. She just sang until her whole being was lost in her prayerful hymn. So engrossed was she in her song and the eradication of dirty dishes from her kitchen, she didn’t notice that Ian disappeared from the room. In fact, only Ian’s screech of protest and Vannie’s sharp,
“
No, Ian! Bad boy!
”
brought her out of her reverie and into the harshness of reality.

Stepping into the living room, she saw Vannie dive for the toddler.
“
Vannie! What
--”

A calm stole over her that even she didn’t recognize. A part of her, that part of all people that wants to deceive ourselves into believing that we’re a better person than we are, was happy to see how unflapped she was by the Sharpie-induced artwork on her living room wall. Her real self, the one she desperately wanted to pretend wasn’t there, knew it was that deadly calm before the storm.

“
I’ll take that, little man.
”

“
Gaggie!
”
His one word was usually a source of joy for her, but this time she heard it with no emotion whatsoever.

“
Vannie, would you take him outside, up to bed, to the moon, something?
”

“
Um, sure.
”
The confused girl picked up her brother and scurried outside.

The wall had a row of scribbles three-feet h
e
ight scattered across it and its chair rail. Aggie wanted to cry. She took a deep breath, but it did no good. The frustrated tears hovered at the back of her eyes but she willed herself to keep them under control.

“
Mibs?
”

“
Know how to get Sharpie off the wall?
”
The quaver in her voice irritated her. She needed to learn not to care.

“
Are you ok?
”

“
I will be when I get Sharpie off that wall,
”
she ground out the words between clenched teeth.

Luke turned her away from the scene of the crime and pushed her toward the kitchen.
“
What’s the matter, Mibs?
”

“
I just decided that I won’t care anymore. Caring will leave you disappointed. I have to resign myself to a house full of dings, scrapes, dirty corners, and marker on the wall.
”

“
First, no you don’t. You teach them how to care for things and fix it when accidents happen. This isn’t irreversible. If a ‘magic eraser’ won’t take it off, we’ll just paint over it.
”
Luke shook his head as she reached into the broom cupboard and pulled out one of the scrubbing erasers. Taking it from her, he continued,
“
But apathy won’t fix it.
“

“
I don’t care, Luke. I can’t. Life is going to be one series of disappointments if I let myself care about things like the state of the house or
--”

In an uncharacteristic move, Luke interrupted her.
“
Just a couple of minutes ago, you were singing your heart out to the Lord. Those kids went from stubborn know-it-all-ness to eager listeners almost immediately after you started singing.
”
He wandered into the living room, still talking, and began to scrub the sharpie from the wall. Even Aggie could see that it was destroying the sheen of the paint, but the marker did fade quickly.
“
I see two problems with your plan.
”

“
What plan?
”

“
Not caring about what happens to your home.
”

“
Ok, shoot.
”
Why she even asked, Aggie didn’t know.

“
First, you’re lying to yourself. Even if you pretend not to care, act like you don’t, and even learn not to notice, you do.
”

“
Second thing?
”
She didn’t like the uneasy feeling that he was right.

“
Second,
”
he began, standing and frowning at the obvious streaks of scrubbed area,
“
is that your children will never learn to take proper care of things. You can’t do that to them.
”

“
I hate it when you’re right.
”

Luke laughed.
“
And I need to get the paint out and fix that.
”

“
I can’t paint the walls every time a child
--”

“
Sure you can. It’s a tiny section, not an entire room.
”

With hands raised in surrender, Aggie took a few steps back.
“
Ok, ok. Just wait until he’s down for his nap, will you?
”

She knew she sounded ungrateful, but Aggie didn’t know how to respond anymore. She was weary
--
over-weary actually. It seemed as if every day was a huge lesson in coping skills
,
an
d everyone else had the answers
while she floundered in an abyss of confusion.
“
It’s just not fair,
”
she whispered.

“
What, Cari?
”

Aggie glanced around to see what her little charge needed, but didn’t see anyone.
“
Huh?
”

“
You sounded like Cari. ‘It’s not faiw, Wuke!’
”

Laughter at herself seemed to crumble the walls of discouragement and dissatisfaction.
“
I guess I did.
”
She forced a smile that slowly became genuine and said,
“
You know, someone, probably your mom, told me not to let myself wish away their days, but I’ve been doing that.
”

“
Wish their days away?
”
Luke rinsed his hands and stowed the ‘eraser’ on the back of the sink.
“
I don’t get it.
”

“
Well, I’ve been counting the days until school starts, so I get a break.
”
She glanced around to make sure none of the children were in earshot.
“
Six hours of just the younger three sounds like a vacation right now.
”

“
Mom’s probably right, but I can see how fewer people in the house would mean less work and less mess. That has to be appealing on a hard day.
”

Tears, accompanied by indignant wails, interrupted their conversation. Laird brought Lorna, covered with scratches and scrapes, to Aggie and then disappeared out the back door, assuring them that he’d make sure the puppy corral was fixed. His words made no sense, but Aggie called thanks and started cleaning off Lorna’s injuries.
“
What’d you do?
”

“
The puppies got out. I catched them. Then I fell.
”
The child gave her injuries an angry scowl.
“
They’s bad puppies.
”

Luke glanced out the window, and then beckoned for Aggie to come see.
“
That’s some good thinking. I’m impressed.
”

As she dabbed Lorna’s arms and legs dry, Aggie watched Laird dig a trench around the outside of the makeshift puppy enclosure and drop it below ground a foot. The chances of the puppies climbing a three-foot fence were much lower than them digging down a foot. Just as she started to comment, Laird enlisted the help of Ellie, Tavish, and Kenzie. The children began a search for something, but Aggie couldn’t imagine what.

“
What do you think they’re looking for?
”

A huge grin split Luke’s face.
“
He is having them find rocks.
”

“
Why?
”

He started to answer, but Ellie brought back the first good-sized stone.
“
Watch, see?
”

She did see. Laird took the stone, and then another rock from Kenzie, and laid them along the edge of the fence. Even if the dogs did try to dig under the chicken wire, they’d find a rock on the other side.
“
That’s pretty impressive. Seems like a lot of work for a temporary situation, though.
”

“
Well, it shows he’s thinking. It won’t hurt them at all, and who knows, now you’ll have a nice little chicken yard.
”

“
Oh, no. No chickens for me. Nuh uh.
”
One last glance at the project in progress made Aggie shake her head.
“
I wouldn’t have been surprised to see Tavish do that, but Laird…
”
She frowned.
“
Then again, he did make my shoe holder.
”