For Keeps (Aggie's Inheritance) (39 page)

“
No, I just say things like that to sound deep and introspective.
”

“
Sarcasm does not help, Miss Warden.
”

“
Oooh,
”
Tina began, impressed,
“
you sounded just like Professor Jovan. That was eerie!
”

“
Go buy the books. Then I can have the pleasure of beating myself up for wasting the money on something to justify this decision I apparently made.
”

Seconds after Tina’s car disappeared around the corner, Kenzie skipped downstairs and announced that she was
“
all better.
”
Aggie, clearly seeing unscabbed spots, tried to explain how the disease progressed, but the little girl was stubborn. With every word that Aggie
spoke
, her face grew more determined. Her hands clenched into little fists, her arms crossed, and one foot stomped in protest.

“
I prayed. Mrs. Sullivan read us from the Bible about praying, and it says if you believe you will receive. Well, I believe so I got. I’m well.
”

“
That’s not what that means. God isn’t Santa Claus
--”

“
No, He’s better ‘cause He’s real.
”

Several times, Aggie tried again, but each time, Kenzie refused to accept the idea that she hadn’t been healed of the pox that was upon her. At last, Aggie tried a different approach.
“
Ok, you know what? It is possible that you are well
--”

“
Good. Then I’m going to go play with the puppies.
”

“
Nope. That you aren’t going to do.
”

“
Why not! I’m well, so I should get to go outside like the other well kids.
”

Turning the girl toward the library, Aggie pointed to the room.
“
You will go color, do a puzzle, read a book, or watch a movie.
”

“
Why!
”

“
Because I said so.
”

“
But I’m well!
”

“
It doesn’t matter if you’re well or not. I said you’ll stay in there for now, so you will.
”

“
That’s not fair!
”

“
I won’t argue with you, Kenzie. It’s in there, or bed. Take your choice.
”

“
No! I never get to play with the puppies, and I’m well now, so I
am
going!
”
The child moved as if to go outside, but Aggie caught her arm.

She didn’t move, she didn’t argue, she didn’t yield in any way, she just sto
od there as Kenzie fought, half-
heartedly, to get free.
“
Let me go!
”

“
Kenzie, hush. You won’t talk to me like that.
”

“
You’re not being fair!
”

“
I’m not going to argue about it. Go upstairs.
”

“
But I don’t want to,
”
the child protested.

“
You’re acting like you want to. Little girls who disobey do not get what they want. You know the rules. Go to your room and lay down.
”

“
I just got up!
”

“
Little girls who throw temper tantrums obviously need a nap. Go lay down.
”

With dramatic wails that gave Cari a run for her theatrical money, Kenzie marched up the steps, stomping on each one as hard as she could, and slammed her door shut. Aggie groaned. She could not let that display of temper go, even if the child
was
ill. Kenzie, in particular, took every minor victory as proof that she could win if she fought hard enough. With p-mails flying faster than she could count them, Aggie followed her niece up the stairs, opened the door, and beckoned the girl to follow. Elated that her protest worked, Kenzie skipped to her Aunt’s side and followed her down the steps.

“
Ok, now, walk back up those stairs the way you’re supposed to, and do not close your door at all.
”

The child’s stunned face was almost comical.
“
What? I
--”

“
Don’t argue, Kenzie. Walk nicely up those stairs and go back to bed.
”

With an expression that implied the desire to do serious bodily harm, Kenzie walked quietly up the steps, entered her room, and sat on the bed with arms crossed. Aggie took a deep breath, and squared her shoulders, beckoning the girl to follow her again. Shock registered and then resignation. She followed Aggie back down the stairs and walked back up again, her face a study in apathy.

“
Ok, that’s better, but now do it without looking depressed. It’s not that terrible, so I want you to try to look… nice.
”
Even as she spoke, Aggie knew she sounded unsure of herself
--
the one thing certain to make Kenzie dig in her heels further.
“
What I mean is that right now you look like you ate something nasty. I want you to look like you are about to do something nice.
”

“
I don’t understand. I did it. I didn’t stomp.
”

“
But you were sulking and trying to look like you didn’t care when both of us know you did.
”
Aggie’s hand cupped the child’s chin.
“
That’s lying, Kenzie. It’s lying with your face and your attitude instead of words, but it’s still lying.
”

“
If I pretend I’m happy, I’ll still be lying.
”

The child had a point, but Aggie knew something about it wasn’t quite right.
“
Well, that’s partly true. What I am telling you to do is practice having the right attitude even when you don’t feel it. You’re not lying; you’re practicing.
”

For some reason that Aggie couldn’t fathom, Kenzie took to that idea cheerfully. She skipped up and down the steps as if rehearsing a play until Aggie told her she could stay on her bed.
“
When the clock says eleven-thirty, then you can come down and play in the library if you like.
”

“
Ok, Aunt Aggie. I want to draw a picture.
”
Three steps back up the stairs and the child turned.
“
Can we bring the puppies inside for a little while after lunch maybe?
”

Part of her felt duped, but Aggie realized it was a valid request.
“
I think that can be arranged. See you in a bit.
”

A trail of toilet paper showed Aggie where Ian had been while she’d been involved with Kenzie. She still had a dangerous habit of getting too focused on one task, and with most of the children sequestered in various parts of the house and yard, her usual spare pairs of eyes were absent. With children in school, she’d have to become more self-disciplined to keep at least one eye on him all the time.

That was another negative on the home-school front. If she was busy teaching several grade levels at once, how could she take care of the youngest twins and Ian? She knew there must be a way, according to what she’d seen, many larger families home-schooled, but she had no idea how to accomplish it. Maybe the idea would be better after Ian was potty trained and a little more accustomed to staying where she put him.

As those thoughts bombarded her brain, William’s cruiser drove up the driveway and parked. For a moment, Aggie was tempted to meet him at the door to keep him from coming inside and seeing the mess that awaited him.
“
What’s the use,
”
she muttered to herself.
“
He already thinks I’m incompetent, why not prove him right?
”

“
Come in.
”

William entered to find Aggie following a trail of toilet paper, winding it around her hand until she reached the end near the kitchen trashcan.
“
Well, that’s convenient.
”

She gave him a glance.
“
Ya think?
”

“
Has he been a handful while he’s sick?
”

“
You could say that.
”
She didn’t feel like listening to her failures in alphabetical or chronological order, and knew that any encouragement at all would just reinforce the idea that her life was too much for anyone, much less someone as inexperienced as she.

“
I thought Sullivan’s mom was hanging around and helping.
”

“
I was trying to give her a day off. She does too much already.
”

“
Where’s Tina? Should you really be here alone with all these sick kids?
”

She’d been agitated before he arrived, but William’s apparent lack of any confidence in her put Aggie on the defensive.
“
It’s my job, William. I know that you think I’m completely incompetent, but the fact is, I can handle a lot more than you give me credit for. If you can’t be supportive, just leave me alone.
”

“
Whoa
! I
was
being supportive. I think you’re way overtired. Why
--”

“
Did you need something specific?
”

“
I just came to make sure you hadn’t heard from Douglas Stuart.
”

“
The phone works.
”
Aggie knew she was being rude, but it seemed as if she was unable to help herself.

“
Hey! What’s eating you?
”

For a moment, she almost unleashed a tirade of every critical comment and every perceived slight that she thought had ever crossed his mind. However, after one look at the hurt and confusion in his eyes, she couldn’t do it.
“
I’m sorry, William. I know you don’t mean to, but do you realize how often you tell me that I can’t do what I
am
doing every day?
”