For the Love of Gracie (35 page)

"Chica, I'm so glad to see you laughing!"  Angel exclaimed, once she caught her breath. 

"I feel guilty being in such a good mood when someone died today, but I can't help feeling relieved.  I never wished him dead, though. I wished I'd never met him a million times." 

Angel hugged me. "No need to explain to me.  It doesn’t make you a bad person to feel good today. The man stalked you, Gracie. He tried to kill you and Cameron." 

"He raped me too, Angel."  She sat up and pressed her hand against her mouth, tears began to fall from her eyes. 

"Gracie…when?" 

It came out without me even realizing I was ready to tell her.  It caught me by surprise that I had said it, as much as it did for her to have heard it. 

"The same day he beat Cameron up.  Cameron got there right after it happened.  I didn’t want anyone to know.  I freaked out on Ashton, so I had to tell him. Then I freaked out on Cameron, so I had to tell him.  Mary Jane just found out today, after the shooting." 

Angel pulled me into her arms. "Chica, I'm so sorry." 

I rubbed her back. "I'm fine, girl.  Ash has been amazing." 

She leaned back and wiped her face.  "I've been there too," she said. 

"What? When?" 

She replied, "High school. It was Junior year. I went on a date and the guy wouldn’t take no for an answer. That was my first sexual experience." 

I covered my mouth in shock. "Angel, you never told any of us?" 

She shook her head. "I understand why you didn’t say anything.  It makes you feel dirty, ashamed, ruined.  I felt like no one would believe me because of the way I dressed. I knew they would say I was asking for it.  I don’t blame you for not telling anyone." 

I moved to hug her. "It feels good to know I'm not alone." 

Angel smoothed my hair, and said, "It happens more often than it should, unfortunately." 

I reached for her hand. "I need to ask you something and if this is totally inappropriate you can tell me."  I paused briefly, then asked, "Would you want to go to a group counseling session with me?"

Angel took a moment to think about it, then said, "Sure. I'd do that for you. It would be helpful for me, too. It's been a long time, but the fear sticks with you long after.  There are still moments, when I'm with a guy, that I panic.  If he is too aggressive, if he takes the lead or lingers on top for too long.  I begin to feel weighed down, trapped, helpless.  I've done my share of freaking out on guys.  The difference between us is that mine never stick around to make me feel better or to help.  They call me a tease or worse and move on.  You're lucky you have Ash.  Hang onto him.  Enough of this talk. We need a girl’s day out.”

I laughed. “That sounds like the perfect thing, but maybe we should wait until Derrick is out of the woods so MJ can join us.”

She agreed. 

My phone rang and it was Ashton.  I held it up to show Angel, she grinned and left me to take the call. 

"Hey, baby, how's Derrick?" I asked. 

Ashton sounded upbeat. "He's great.   He's awake.  My mom and Mary Jane are in there with him.  He asked about you as soon as he woke up.  He was worried that he didn’t get the shot out quick enough.  You mind coming by to see him so he can be reassured?"

"Of course. I'll have Angel drive me over now. See you soon."  I hung up the phone and Angel was at the door with her keys.

"I heard you say you needed a ride. Let's boogie." 

When we arrived at the hospital, Cameron and Gavin were walking out as we made our way to the door.  "Hey bitches," Cameron said. 

"Hello Ladies," Gavin stated, at the same time. 

Angel rolled her eyes as she addressed Gavin. "Can you rub off on him some more and get him to call us ladies as well?" 

Cameron stepped forward embracing Angel. "Girlfriend, you know I mean bitches in the sweetest way possible." 

Angel laughed. "Somehow you make that sound believable." 

Cameron and Gavin were on their way home. Derrick's room was full when we stepped inside: their mom, Mary Jane, Ashton and an older gentleman.  Derrick's eyes met mine and he looked as though ten years had fallen off his life with the relief that washed over. 

Ashton took my hand, leading me over to sit where he'd been previously.  I leaned down, kissing Derrick on the cheek.  "You Collins men are my personal heroes. You know that?"

Derrick smiled up at me as he took my hand in his.  "I'm glad you weren’t hurt."

"Since no one is going to introduce me, I'm going to assume you're Gracie," the older man stated, holding his hand forward. 

Ashton's hand found the small of my back as he stood next to me.  I reached for the man's hand.

"Gracie, this is my father." 

"It's nice to meet you Mr. Collins." 

He had a firm handshake.  "Please, call me Craig.  She is gorgeous son." 

My cheeks heated from the compliment.

Ash bent to press his lips to my temple. "I know."  Ashton turned to Angel. "You mind going with me to grab some coffee?" 

Angel seemed as surprised as I felt.  "Uh…sure?" 

Ash leaned down and whispered, "Take a few moments to talk to my parents and Derrick.   Help Mary Jane feel a little more comfortable too."  He winked at me as he escorted Angel out of the room. 

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Mary Jane and I took turns answering questions about ourselves.  Derrick piped in every once and a while to stop the interrogation.  Interrogation wasn't the best word, it was actually a nice talk we all had.  They asked about our families and what we were studying in school. 

When Angel and Ashton returned, he asked me to step outside for a moment.  He slipped his hand in mine as we strolled down the hallway. 

"I want to take you out tonight.  I talked to Angel about it. I'd like you to go shopping, get a new dress and meet me tonight.  Angel suggested you get your 'hair did'."  He held his fingers up to make air quotes. 

I snickered. "OK, sounds fun. What time do you want me to meet you?"

He glanced at his watch. "Have her bring you back here in two hours."

Angel and I left the hospital alone.  We were unable to convince MJ to come with us. She felt she needed to be there for Derrick.  We didn’t argue with her. 

It was spring in Nashville which meant a range of freezing to sweaty temperatures.  Today, the temperature was in the seventies.  We took Angel's car and rode with the top down.  She pulled into a dress shop.  We spent the next two hours trying on dresses, trying to find the perfect one for dinner. 

"Hey, remember when we were younger and we used to love going into the stores to try on prom dresses for fun?" Angel asked as she thumbed through the rack of clothes. 

"Yes! Of course.  Cameron even tried on a few with us once!" 

We both laughed at the memory of Cameron in a hot pink formal gown.  He came to the conclusion pretty quickly that drag was not his forte. 

"They have wedding dresses here.  Why not try a couple on, for fun?" 

I wrinkled my nose. "I don’t know about that."

She grabbed my hand, tugging me toward the brilliantly white side of the store. 

Dresses in opal, pearl, ivory, cream, basically every shade of white or almost-white you could dream up.  I'd never imagined what kind of dress I'd want.

"Close your eyes for a moment.  Imagine walking down the aisle to Ashton.  What dress are you wearing?"

With my eyes closed, I began to picture every moment of my fictional wedding.  As I opened my eyes to glance around, I found the perfect dress.  It was strapless mermaid style, with the bottom sprinkled with jewels. 

Angel saw my eyes light up as they landed on the dress.  She went to find my size and carried it to the dressing room for me. 

When I slipped the dress on, I took a deep breath as I turned to look in the mirror.  I'd never felt more beautiful.  I opened the door to show Angel.

She gasped and said, "That's the one. You look amazing, Gracie." 

I glanced at the tag and realized I'd never be able to afford it. 

"Take a picture; maybe one day I can find one close to it that I can afford."  

I posed for her to take the picture.  She held the phone up to show me and it took my breath away.  I'd never thought I'd looked beautiful before, until I saw myself in this dress. I wanted to marry Ash in this, one day.

Angel and I continued our search for a nice dress for dinner.  She helped me finally decide on a red dress with short flowing sleeves. It dipped into a v-neck in the front and had a flowing skirt that fell to a few inches above my knee.  The red material matched my ladybug charm perfectly. 

Angel took me to get my hair done.  She purchased a beautiful diamond studded comb for my hair.  "Angel, this is too much." 

She waved it off. "Whatever.  Your man deserves to see you all gussied up." 

We bought some black heels to match, and I was ready to go.

When we left the store, Angel said she had an errand to run before she dropped me off to meet Ash.   We pulled into the parking lot of the nightclub where Cameron liked to hang out, the one where I met Ash for the first time.  "What are we doing here?"

Angel replied, "Cameron needed me to pick something up for him. He left it in the back room the other night.  Come on in with me and say hi to some of the guys.  They ask about you all the time." 

I took a deep breath. "It looks kind of empty."

Angel nodded. "Yeah, Cameron said there's a private party here tonight.  We're just going to run in and out, though."

When we stepped in the door, the bouncer, Chris, came up to us. "Gracie! Long time no see, girl!  You look gorgeous as always!" 

He kissed my cheek as he said, "Right this way ladies. Cameron told me you were coming by."

When he opened the back room, my heart stopped as the people inside said, "Surprise, Gracie!"  The room was decorated in beautiful white lights hanging from the ceiling. 

My friends were all standing around, and in the middle of them was Ashton, in a suit.  My breath caught in my throat at how handsome he looked.  He stepped forward and motioned me inside.  "What's going on?"

Ashton stepped forward. "Gracie Walker, this is the spot where we first met.  The spot that I first laid eyes on my happily ever after.  Since that evening, you've been in my thoughts, my dreams, my heart.  There are no words to express the full worth of your love.  There is only one thing you can do to make me even happier than I am right now." 

He knelt down on one knee and took my hand in his. "Will you make me the happiest man on earth and marry me?"  I began to cry.

Cameron snapped, "Girlfriend do not mess up that flawless face with tears!" 

I laughed and bent down cupping Ashton's face in my palms. "There is nothing I want more in this life, than to be your wife." 

The ring he slipped on my finger was white gold with a princess cut diamond. It was elegant but simple. 

"This was my mother's engagement ring.  She gave it to me to pass on to the woman I wanted to spend forever with."

He swept me up into his arms and spun me around.  I held my arm straight out, gazing at my hand as we spun. 

Ashton sat me down and said, "You look amazing tonight, Gracie.  You always look amazing." 

A slow song began to play. Cameron cleared his throat and motioned to the speakers so we understood our cue. 

Ashton took me to the middle of the room; he wrapped his arms around me.  The song
To Make You Feel My Love
played.   "This is the song we danced to that day." 

He grinned "Appropriate isn’t it?" 

With his head leaning against mine, we swayed to the music. Ashton moved his hand to the middle of my back and slowly dipped me backwards.  He leaned forward, trailing his lips along my skin as he pulled me back to him.  I bit my lip and smiled when our eyes met. His mouth moved to mine, kissing me softly.

My arms tightened around his neck, pulling him into an embrace.  He rested his head on my shoulder.  I glanced over at Gavin and Cameron as they danced together. 

I loved seeing them dancing together, without fear of being judged. That's why I especially enjoyed hanging out in this club; everyone was accepted here regardless of his or her sexual orientation.

After the dance, the four of us sat down to eat dinner.  Angel agreed to take Mary Jane back to the hospital.  "How long have you planned this day?"  I asked Ash. 

"We were going to all meet here tonight, then everything happened. Derrick wanted to be here.  I was going to postpone, but he insisted I didn’t.  Cameron and I planned it a few nights ago.  There is something else we wanted to talk to you about." 

Ashton and Cameron exchanged a brief look.

Cameron took my hand. "This is a good thing. I see that you have your freaked out face on, so I wanted to start with that." 

I laughed. "I was freaked out. Go on."  With his free hand, Cameron reached for Gavin.