Forbidden Temptations (Tempted Series Book 2) (34 page)

I secured the buckle and went to pull my hand back when she placed her hand over mine. I lifted her chin with the index finger of my other hand and stared into her scared eyes.

“It’s going to be okay. I promise,” I whispered, hoping that she heard me, that she understood what I was saying. Adrianna thought she saved my life tonight but the truth was she had been saving my life since the moment I met her. I’d make this up to her somehow, some way I would heal her.

I pressed my lips gently to hers before pulling back and rising to my feet. I closed the door and walked around the car, climbing into the driver’s seat as I turned the key in the ignition. I peeled out of the parking lot leaving behind the massacre of Temptations and the blare of the sirens that sounded.

By the time, we arrived at our destination, a bungalow on Long Island Sound it was nearly dawn. Victor owned and rented it in the summer months. It used to be a vacation home he and Grace would take the girls to during the summer
. As the mobster became more prominent and his bank account grew fatter the need for small family getaways diminished. Those getaways
were replaced with lavish trips that included five star hotel accommodations.

Most of the homes in the area were boarded up for the winter, leaving the strip of small homes that surrounded us vacant. I pulled into the driveway, shutting off the car and turning to face Adrianna. She was asleep in the passenger seat clutching my jacket she had been using as a blanket. I reached out and ran the back of my hand across her cheek. She had cried herself to sleep, nothing I said or did helped, and to be honest I wasn’t sure there was anything I could do to help her. Adrianna wasn’t immune to emotions like I was, she couldn’t turn them on and off. So, the moment she pulled that trigger was the moment her life changed forever. For each time I pulled the trigger of a gun I lost a piece of myself, for every life I had taken I fell deeper into the pit of angst. The only thing that eased my conscience half the time was that these people I hurt, they were bad people. Nevertheless, it still fucked with me to know what exactly I was capable of. I loathed myself and never understood how someone like me could ever have the love of someone like her. I sure as hell didn’t deserve it like I didn’t deserve her pulling that trigger tonight to save my sorry ass.

Aside from worrying about her and how she would cope with the guilt that would eat away at her, I couldn’t help but wonder if she’d resent me for it. Would she look at me and hate that because of me she killed? Would she be so tormented by her conscience she would stop loving me? I was a selfish bastard to entertain these thoughts but I couldn’t help it. Not many things in this world scared me but losing Adrianna’s love was one of them. I wasn’t afraid of dying, I wasn’t afraid of being shot, couldn’t care less because my life wasn’t worth living without her in it. I had been pushing her away and telling her we couldn’t be together for years
. I wanted her to move on and find another man to love but I never really could let go of her. I kept reeling her in any chance I got and then I
’d let the line loose again, giving her leeway until I caught her again.

In her presence, my heart has no shame; it’s chained to her unable to break free. She doesn’t even realize the power she has over me, how she is the only one in this world who can bring me to my knees. I’d never be strong enough to let her go. It’s wrong, it’s selfish, but it’s the truth.

I walked around the car and opened her door, my hand gently squeezing her knee as I brushed away the hair that had fallen from her ponytail and scattered around her eyes away from her face.

“Reese’s,” I whispered, silently vowing to myself to get her through this. Even if in the end it meant she hated me.

Her eyes fluttered open, taking a minute to register before she focused clearly. “Where are we?” She asked groggily.

I glanced over my shoulder at the bungalow and then back at her. “The summer house,” I watched as she stared at the little white and blue house for a moment. “Let’s get you inside. Can you walk or do you want me to carry you?”

She diverted her eyes back to mine, silent for a moment. “I can walk.”

I gave her a nod, wondering where her head was right now but deciding not to push too much. I opened the glove box and pulled out the key hidden inside of it before standing up and holding out my hand for her to take. Adrianna climbed out of the car, draping my jacket over her shoulders and followed me up the sandy walkway to the house. I fitted the key into the lock, opened the door feeling along the wall for the light switch, and flicked it on. She stepped around me, standing still in the hallway as I closed the door. I dropped the keys onto the table next to the door and stepped towards her. I placed my hands on her shoulders and leaned close.

“I haven’t been here since I was a kid.” She said in a monotone voice before pulling away from me and stepping into the living room. She pulled off the white sheet that covered the couch, dropping it onto the floor. She stared at the floral sofa silently before running her fingers along the arm of it. “Nikki and I used to get in trouble because we would come in from the beach, still wet from the water, and sit on the couch leaving water stains on the cushions.” She tore her eyes from the sofa, turning around and glanced at the fireplace and pointed directly at it. “We would sit around the fire and fight over which of us would get to pick the story dad would read us before bed.” She smiled sadly. “I don’t know if he hated to hear us whine or hated that we were bickering but he would let us each pick a story in the end and read them both to us.”

I shoved my hands into the pockets of my slacks and stared at her as she reminisced about times spent here with her sister. She turned around abruptly to face me, her eyes glaring into mine.

“Luca,” she whispered. “I need my son. I need to know he’s okay.”

“Sshh,” I whispered, walking towards her and cupping her face in the palms of my hands.
     
“He’s fine. I have one of Jack’s guys driving him up here.”

“Jack’s guys? He’s a baby Anthony …” she started, and I silenced her by placing my finger to her lips.

“A, I’m not strapping Luca onto the back of a Harley, relax. One of Jack’s brothers, a guy named Riggs, went to my mothers and picked up her and Luca and is bringing them here.”

She took a deep breath. “Okay.”

I nodded. “He’s going to bring us some clothes and some necessities since the house has been closed for a while. In the meantime why don’t you take a hot shower and I’ll start a fire. I’m sure there is a robe or something lying around here.” I paused, taking a moment to try to read her. “You want me to help you to the shower?”

“No, I’ve got it,” She said quickly as she turned around, leaving me in the living room as she headed to the bathroom. I heard the door close behind her and let out a breath I didn’t realized I was holding. It was ripping me apart knowing there wasn’t anything I could do or say to ease her troubled mind. I cracked my knuckles, trying to release the tension building inside of me and then a nervous energy took over my being and I ripped the sheets off the furniture in an attempt to bring some normalcy to her.

I balled the sheets up and threw them in a corner, looking around at the furniture before stalking towards the fireplace. I placed two wooden logs into the pit of the fireplace and reached into my pocket pulling out a matchbook. I scraped the tip of the match against the mantle, the amber flame ignited and I flicked the wooden match onto the logs watching as the wood burned.

I braced my hands against the mantle and stared at the growing flames, lost in the depths of my mind. I needed to get in touch with Jack; maybe if Adrianna heard Nikki’s voice she’d feel better. The problem was I hadn’
t seen my phone since I had left it with Adrianna and instructed her to call Jack. Vic followed me out of the club, worried about his daughter and her state of mind. I told him I didn
’t have my phone, and he handed me his to set things in motion for Luca. The last I spoke to Jack he had been on route to the safe house where Nikki and Mike are staying until Vic can get a handle on things. I would’ve felt more at ease if he could have been the one to get the baby but he assured me that Riggs was a good guy, trying to prove himself and this would be his big break. I had no choice but to trust his judgement and so I sat on pins and needles waiting for Riggs to arrive with our boy.

I needed something to level me out, and I was sure that Vic wouldn’t be too keen on me putting a couple of holes in his walls so I went in search for something a little safer. I stepped into the kitchen and rummaged through the cabinets until I found a bottle of whiskey. It was probably years old, maybe even decades; didn’t people pay good money for aged whiskey? I unscrewed the top and took a swig from the bottle, closing my eyes as the dark gold liquid warmed its way into my belly. I took another shot, desperate to erase the guilt that consumed me but knew it was just a temporary fix.

I don’t think I can live with myself, looking into A’s eyes every day and seeing the torment reflected in them knowing I caused her grief. It didn’t matter I wasn’
t the one who brought this war into our lives tonight. I was still the reason she killed someone. As much as the act of murder haunted her soul and damaged her, it wrecked me that she did it to save my sorry ass. I understood what she was feeling the moment she pulled the trigger. I knew how her mind worked in that instant because if I had been in her shoes there wouldn
’t be a goddamn thing I wouldn’t do to protect her. The love we have for one another controlled our every move, our every thought and instinct. I always knew the love we shared was so powerful it had a life of its own.

I heard her cry over the water causing me nearly to drop the bottle of whiskey. I gently placed it on the counter and walked to the bathroom following the sounds of her sobs, which grew louder as I approached the closed door. I slowly opened the door and stepped inside the bathroom, the steam from the shower smacked me in the face, but I ignored it. She was sitting on the floor of the shower her head in her hands and her knees to her chest. I pulled back the shower curtain and stepped into the shower, the water raining down on me as I knelt in front of her and gathered her into my arms. I sat there with her, on the floor of the shower in the clothes I had been in for the last eighteen hours clinging to my skin and cradled her against me. I leaned my head back against the tiles as she grabbed my shirt with her fists and cried against my chest. Her sobs caused my eyes to fill with water and I blinked back the tears that threatened. In that moment I wished Rico had pulled the trigger before she had the chance to, sparing me from watching the woman I loved fall apart in my arms.

I have caused a lot of pain in Adrianna’s life, some of it I saw first-hand, some of which I heard about but never did I imagine I could cause this much damage to her. I didn’t know what was worse me dying in front of her physically, or her mentally and emotionally dying in front of me.

She pulled away, wiping her face with the back of her hand before reaching out and touching my face. I stared into her eyes and hoped she could see how much I loved her, how much I wanted to make this better for her.

“I love you, Adrianna.” I said softly.

“I know,” she replied tracing her thumb over my lower lip, her eyes bouncing between my lips and my eyes. “I thought he would kill you.” She whimpered while trying to regain her breathing, dropping her hand from my face and stared into my eyes. “Why was he holding a gun to you? Why was Rico going to kill you?”

“I don’t know baby but I will find out, I promise you,” I vowed.

“I listened to you, you know? I ran but I couldn’t leave you. I couldn’t walk out of that club knowing that there was a man holding a gun to you. I remembered the gun in my hand and turned around…Anthony I didn’t think. I didn’t even hesitate for one minute. I pulled the trigger like it was nothing.” She paused, swallowing and shrugging her shoulders. “I killed a man tonight and I’m not sitting here crying because I regret it. Sure, I feel awful that I killed someone, that, I took someone’s life, but I’d do it again.” She whispered, “What kind of person admits that out loud?” A tear fell from the corner of her eye and I reached to brush it away with my thumb.

“It’s only me baby,” I said. “Your words don’t go beyond these walls.”

“I shot Rico, Anthony. I killed Nikki’s boyfriend and I just admitted to you I would do it again. My sister will probably never speak to me again, and still I’d do it again because I have lived apart from you for too long. I survived without seeing you every day but I always knew you were somewhere and one day I could be with you again. I can’t live with the knowledge I’d never see you again,” Her voice cracked and the tears finally fell. “To live and never touch you again, to never stare into your eyes or hear you call me Reese’s again. I couldn’t do it.” She shook her head adamantly. “Somewhere throughout all these years you stopped being the guy I loved and instead you became the other half of me. I know there are so many reasons you and I should have given up already but as long as I’m breathing I won’t ever give up on you,” she wept, poking my chest with her finger. “And you know what else? I looked into your eyes tonight and realized that every time you pushed me away and tried to make me believe you were giving up on me, you weren’t. You were fighting just as hard as I was only difference is you were fighting for my safety and not my heart. You have always had my heart and you knew that. But you weren’t so sure you could keep me safe and that wrecked you.”