Forbidden Temptations (Tempted Series Book 2) (6 page)

I didn’t expect one kiss to get her through the next three years nor did I expect her to sit around and wait for me, but when she thought back on our love I wanted her to smile not cry.

I wanted her to think of me and know that I loved her hard, that I loved her with everything in me and when she doubted our relationship, I wanted her to look back and remember this moment.

I slowly pulled away from her, brushing away the single tear that fell from her eyes and slid down her cheek.

“I wanted to be enough,” she whispered. “I didn’t want to tell you and have you think the only reason I was telling you was to change your mind.”

My brows furrowed as I listened to the words coming from her mouth, trying to make sense of what she was saying.

“What are you talking about?” I asked softly, tucking the loose strands of her hair behind her ears.

She glanced down, losing her will to explain what she was trying to say.

“A?” I probed, lifting her chin with my index finger so that our eyes met.

“Anthony, I’m pregnant,” she whispered.

*****

The memories suffocated me as I stepped outside the hospital and greedily took a deep breath. I hadn’
t been home forty-eight hours and already I was wishing I were back in prison rotting away. At least there I wouldn
’t have the constant reminder of everything I lost staring me in the face. I closed my eyes for a moment trying to escape her, but like every other time I closed my eyes all I saw was Adrianna. If I had any balls I’d put a gun in my mouth and pull the trigger just to escape the misery I created for myself.

I stared in sheer amazement at my beautiful baby boy swaddled and tucked safely against my breast. There was a time, not too long ago, I thought I’d never know the blessing of being a mother. I suppose that was the pessimistic side of me. After losing mine and Anthony’s baby I put it in my head that this moment would never happen. I’d never experience the joy of being a mother. It wasn’t like the doctors told me I’d have trouble getting pregnant after the miscarriage, or that I’
d never carry a baby. It was
my head telling me I was only destined for heartache. My little Luca was nothing short of a miracle in my eyes, it didn’t matter I was a single mother. He was the greatest thing to ever happen to me and I was so very grateful.

Even though I was basking in the glory of my son’s birth I couldn’t ignore the ache in my chest that still lingered over the loss of my first pregnancy. I don’t think the pain will ever go away and I’m sure the resentment I harbored from losing her wouldn’t either. I don’t know if she would’ve been a girl but in my dreams she is, maybe it’s my
subconscious picturing Anthony with a daughter. There would have been nothing more beautiful than watching
him with a little girl.

Except watching as he held my son for the first time, that might be the most beautiful moment I’ve ever witnessed in my life. It was a moment so tenderly carved into the chambers of my heart. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that Anthony shared the birth of my son with me. Isn’t it funny how things just sort of work themselves out? The person I was five years ago or even three years ago, before Anthony left me, would have said it was fate. But I am not that girl anymore, the one who used to believe in fate and destiny. Not after my destiny was ripped from me.

I suppose I shouldn’t dwell on the past, if things hadn’t gone the way they had then I wouldn’t be holding this perfect baby in my arms. At least that’s what I have to tell myself now. It’s not just me fighting to move on with my life, I have to fight for this baby now too. I can’t fall apart or relive my past only for my world to shatter again. There is another life depending on me and I am all he has.

Some might say my taste in men is poor, at least my father would, the hypocritical bastard he is. My father is too much of a self-centered, egotistical animal to admit it, but he has no business judging Anthony nor Vinny, Luca’s dad. You see Anthony was just a misguided guy when I met him. He had good intentions, always did, but he was lost, and troubled. His dad left him, his mom and his
sister at a very tender age. An age when a boy needs
his dad to guide him on the path to being a man. The sad part is Anthony had so much potential to be a number of things
. He
could’ve taken so many different paths than the one he ultimately chose. I wish he could’ve seen what I saw in him
all those years ago.
I wish he could’ve seen how beautiful and big his heart is instead of always fighting against it.

Vinny isn’t a bad guy either, he’s no Anthony, but still he tried to be successful. He works for the stock market. When we first met he knew I was still hung up on Anthony. He saw a sad, broken girl and decided he wanted to be the one who made her whole again. Poor guy. He never had a chance, he may have been able to scoop up the broken pieces, but he never had the glue to put them together. There is only so much one can try before they give up hope. The result of Vinny losing hope ended with him turning to drugs. I can’t take all the blame. He had a problem before we met, never hid his recovery from me, but in the end he succumbed to his addiction. He fell back into his old habits and I never got over mine. We were destined to fail from the beginning. Accidents happen and I became pregnant with Luca. Vinny checked himself into rehab but I don’t hold much faith in his recovery. He doesn’t want to be a father but I didn’t give him a choice. I would never have an abortion, not after I had already lost one baby. In some ways I feel like God gave me this baby to get me by. I have purpose now.

“You are such a baby hog,” Nikki said with a huff, as she sat on the edge of the windowsill.

“Hardly,” I replied, leaning down nuzzling my sleeping bundle of joy. “Mom and Dad were the ones hogging him. Isn’t that right my sweet boy?” I cooed softly.

“Yeah and the moment they left you took the title,” she frowned, crossing her arms against her chest.

I lifted my head, glancing over at my little sister. “Fine, come and get your nephew.” I pretended to sound annoyed but the fact that my sister was already in love with my son made my heart swell. Her eyes lit up as she jumped off the windowsill, whipping out her pocket hand sanitizer before she sat on the edge of my bed. She held her arms out, biting her lip nervously as she waited for me to hand Luca over to her.

A soft gasp escaped Nikki’s lips once Luca was snuggling against her, wrapped tightly in her arms.

“A, my God he’s the most perfect little human,” she said in awe as she gazed down at him.

I couldn’t help the proud smile on my face. “He’s perfect isn’t he?”

She lifted her head, her eyes meeting mine as she smiled widely at me. “Thank you so much for making me an aunt.” Her voice catching in her throat, surprising me because Nikki wasn’t the emotional type.

“You’re welcome,” I whispered, giving her knee a slight squeeze.

“I can’t believe I missed his birth,” she said, while looking down at my son. “But you couldn’t wait to make your big entrance, could you?” She dipped her head, pressing her lips to Luca’s forehead. “Thank God Uncle Anthony was there to help you and your mommy.”

Uncle Anthony? Real subtle Sis. She peered up at me under the fringe of her eyelashes gaging my reaction to her little comment. I wasn’t taking her bait.

“I didn’t want to say anything in front of Mommy and Daddy but he was here.” She whispered.

I lifted my head, looking at her with confused eyes. I knew Anthony had stayed until this morning before my family had arrived. The moment the Pastore clan came charging in he fled without so much as a nod in my direction, like he didn’t just share in the most significant moment of my life.

“I mean just a little while ago,” she said, reading my thoughts. She lifted her chin towards the chair beside my bed. “He said he had to go, but I think he left because of Daddy. Anyway, he gave me something to give you and the baby. It’s in the bag, I didn’t think you’d want Daddy to be all up in your business when I gave it to you.”

My sister didn’t know the extent of the bad blood that ran between our father and me. She was too young at the time to understand the repercussions of our father’s lifestyle and the hell it caused. As far as I was concerned my father was poisonous, he was the venom that resulted in the demise of my relationship with Anthony. I’ll never forgive him as long as I live; but still he’s my father, a man who demands respect. So what if the respect I have for him is as fake as his protégé Jimmy Gold’s gold tooth? I wash his face, he washes mine.

I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and reached for the blue bag.

“The clothes are from me, the other stuff is what he got you guys,” she stated, as I reached inside and pulled out a tiny blue teddy bear. It was so soft, written on the belly of the bear it said
Baby’s First Bear
. I ran my fingers over the embroidered words, closing my eyes as I pictured Anthony agonizing over the stuffed animal and wondering if he made the right choice. Some things never change.

I swallowed against the lump that formed in the back of my throat. Why did he have to do things like this? I’d never get over him at this rate. Who was I kidding? I’d leave this earth still hopelessly in love with him.

“There’s something else,” Nikki said softly, pulling me out of my trance. My hand dipped back inside the gift bag, feeling around for anything that wasn’t tissue paper or clothing finally feeling a small bag. I pulled out my hand and opened my palm to find a bag of Reese’s Pieces.

I couldn’t stop the tears from welling in my eyes or cascading down my cheeks. I should’ve chalked it up to hormones, but it had nothing to do with hormones and everything to do with Anthony. I closed my eyes, bringing myself back to last night, to when he grabbed my hand and called me the nickname he gave me on our first date. It was silly, and at times I thought it was ridiculous that he called me Reese’s. As the years went on I craved his gruff whisper of his name for me. I was sure I’d never hear him call me that again. He took me by surprise and at the same time that one word gave me the strength I needed to give birth.

I sighed, brushing away my tears, his thoughtful gesture breaking the scraps left of my heart.

“Shit! A, don’t cry,” Nikki said behind me.

“I’m not crying,” I lied sniffling. “It’s the hormones.” Another lie.

“Bullshit.” She cursed, calling my bluff as the door opened and my parents stepped inside. They were both wearing the proud grandparent grins. I expected my mom to be over the moon, she had been talking about being a grandmother for what seemed like forever. However, I didn’t expect my father to be such the doting grandfather.

“Where’s my boy?” He announced, as he side-stepped my mother making his way to my son before she could. Nikki and I exchanged a glance and I gave her a slight nod as she handed my little boy over to our father’s waiting arms.

“I think someone stole your father’s heart,” my mother said, as she stood over my father’s shoulder, peering down at Luca. “Yes you did my sweet boy; you’re grandma and grandpa’s little angel.”

I stared at my parents for a moment, mainly my father, as my fist closed over the bag of candy. I should’ve been elated watching that endearing moment between my son and my father, but all I
felt was rage.
It was bizarre, that this man could incite so much hatred inside of me, even on one of the happiest days of my life. I guess there was no hope in me erasing the horrible person he was from my memory. No pretty little image of him holding my son would tarnish the image embedded in my
brain. The image of a vicious man who wanted
me to abort my first pregnancy.

I used to think my mother was crazy, when we were kids she would pin little red ribbons to mine and Nikki’s undershirts and tell us the ribbon would keep the evil eye away. Later, when we were teenagers, our father bought us gold rope chains that had a gold Italian horn pendant, another thing to ward off the evil. It was an Italian superstition I never believed in, not until the day I told my dad I was pregnant. There was no red ribbon or gold charm that would save my baby from the evil my father radiated onto my pregnancy.

*****

Anthony ran his fingers through his hair, pacing back and forth in front of me as I stayed seated on my parent’s sofa. I could tell he was nervous, no matter how much he tried to hide it.
He was meeting my father tonight as per my dad’s request, to talk about business. We both knew what he would say. He was going to lay it all out there for him, the confession to a crime Anthony didn’t commit, the sentence, and the plan behind it all.

Anthony never spoke of my dad’s business with me. There were certain things I couldn’t know, didn’t want to know, and then there was the fact that I absolutely despised he worked for my father. My girlfriends used to tease me, telling me that I got off on Anthony being a bad boy; that I was turned on by his tough exterior and the fact he walked a crooked line. The truth was, his bad boy tendencies appealed to me, but not in the way everyone thought. I wanted to take the bad boy and I wanted to make him realize he was so much more than what he believed. I didn’t want him to think he wasn’
t good enough to have goals or dreams.
I wanted to repair the damage his father instilled in him the day he walked out on him and his family.