Forever Blue (9 page)

    
I envisioned my father with the son he always wanted
while they battled it out on the driveway.
Life was tough enough for my parents before I was born. The serious complications Mom had during her pregnancy with me just made matters worse. Dad had his heart set on
a boy from the very beginning, and finding out
that
she would never be able to bear another child nearly devastated both of them. In a way, the outcome
had
affected me too. I was truly envious of the relationship Carter had with Darren, knowing I was destined to be an only child forever.

    
Dad would stop
periodically throughout their game,
and show Carter some type of technique. He’d explain it like he always did with me, advising him on how to improve a bank shot or a crossover dribble. Carter stood there drinking it all in. I’d never seen him so immersed.
I
would have thought Dad was giving Carter some sort of fatherly advice
if I wasn’t privy to what their conversation was really about.
I knew all too well
by then
that Carter’s father was not present in his life. The way my father and Carter paled around seemed as though they were filling each other’s voids.

    
“Whew, son.” Dad wiped sweat from his brow. “You play a good game.”

    
Carter caught his breath and responded, “I definitely know where Alexa gets her moves from.”

    
I peeled myself off the pavement and walked
on
over to them. “This is why I always kick your butt, Carter.”

    
“I’ve taught her a few things, but she’s just naturally talented.” Dad tickled my armpit.
“Well, I better get back to the house. Alexa’s mother will have my head if I don’t help out with dinner.”

    
“Um, Mr. Moore…I mean Martin.”

    
Dad turned back around. “Yes?”

    
Carter swallowed audibly. “Do you think maybe you could come over sometime and show me some more moves?”

    
Dad lit up like a birthday cake. “I’d be honored,” he said as though he was just dubbed the World’s Greatest Dad. “Does your father ever play with you?”

    
Carter looked away, his expression turned
positively sullen. “He’s not much into sports.”

    
By the perplexity on Dad’s face, I think he knew he hit a nerve. “Well don’t you worry, son. We’ll make up for that.” Dad squeezed Carter’s shoulder as though kneading dough. “You come knock on my door anytime.”

    
Carter shot him a despondent half-smile and almost whispered, “Thanks.”

    
“Well, I got to run,” Dad said as he whipped
out a pack of Camels from his pant pocket.
  
“Alexa, be home
in thirty minutes for dinner, okay?”

    
“Sure, Dad,” I replied, waving him off.

    
Dad made good on his word. I found the two of them playing a game of basketball in Carter’s driveway
at least once a week—a game in which I was not included.

    
I won’t deny it. I was jealous as hell.
My dad
was paying
attention to someone other than me
for the first time in my life, and
I was not used to this type of behavior. It rubbed me the wrong way, and in a sense, I felt like Carter stole my father away from me and that my father stole my friend. Then again, I remembered that Carter wasn’t as blessed as I was in the parental department. I came from a home with a happily married mother and father. Carter, on the other hand, had a mother who was more cold and bitter than the dead of winter. Being resentful of someone who was less fortunate was really an unflattering trait. Mom taught me at a young age not to be selfish and that everyone in the world needed to learn how to share. Knowing how much I adored Carter, that was my only choice. I had to share my dad or risk losing a potentially dear friend in the process. Who was I to interrupt their male bonding experience? On the bright side, it pleased me
to know
how much happier Carter was on the days he spent with my father. My dad took time out in his day to spend with a boy whose father was just not there for him. In doing so, Dad gave Carter memories that his real father would never attempt to make.

Chapter 5: The Unanticipated

    
The anxiety stewing inside Aiden Storm for the last several weeks finally reached its boiling point
as he waited to present himself to 10,000 screaming fans.
He was
feeling overwhelmed and
it was only the second show of his first North American tour.
The amount of people cheering his name in one arena was like nothing he’d ever seen. Once he stepped out on that stage, there was no turning back. 

   
His first show in
New York City got rave reviews, but
now Aiden knew each performance had to outdo the other and this put a huge amount of pressure on him.

    
“Aiden,” his mother shouted, “don’t screw up.”

    
She refused to call Aiden by his birth name. In Mary’s mind, Carter Storm ceased to exist the moment she made her son sign on the dotted line.
Unfortunately for her,
he’d be eighteen in a couple months, and
she’d no longer have any control over him.
Whether his mother was ready or not, reality was about to come crashing down on her, and the nightmare of
Aiden
being manipulated
like a puppet was about to end.

     
The crowd cheered wildly
the minute the music started up.

    
“Aiden, it’s time.” Hue gave him the thumbs-up.

    
Aiden’s breathing finally normalized, and without further delay, he made his way to the front of the stage.

    
“HOW YA DOIN’, ORANGE COUNTY!” His voice echoed through an audience of pubescent girls who waved around flashy, colorful signs and snapped pictures.

    
This was the moment he
dreamt about since he was a kid, and now
even critics were calling
him an overnight sensation—a title that was more than Aiden ever expected.

    
Through the mist and lights, five dancers came out from behind the stage and dazzled the crowd with their choreographed moves. Aiden made the audience swoon with every bump and grind.

    
“Baby, I’ll never be like him. In my heart you’ll always win…”

***

     Having the opportunity to go to the Aiden Storm concert with Ruth was like a dream-come-true for me. I
even
envisioned Carter seeing me in the crowd
during the show,
and
him
instantly recognizing my face. Unfortunately, I had no way of ever making that dream a reality. I walked out of the arena with nothing but hopelessness raging inside me. I waited six long months to see that show, and in less than two hours it was all over. When the concert ended, that was that. Carter probably forgot about me altogether
as far as I knew.
One day I’d come to accept the fact that Carter Storm was a teenage superstar and no longer my boy next door.

    
I was watching television with my dad in his bedroom
that night after the show.
He rested comfortably on the bed with his head propped up against a pillow.

    “So how was it, sweetheart?” he asked.

     “It was really cool. I just can’t stop thinking about how bizarre it was to see Carter on stage.”

     “Well, you said it from the beginning. You knew Carter was going to make it.”

      “So did you, Dad.”

     “You still miss him,
don’t you?”
He pinched my cheek. “Aw. I think you’ll run across each other again one day.”

     “I don’t know, Dad. He’s pretty untouchable right now.”

     “It won’t always be like that. Trust me. Even the brightest stars fade
over time.”

     “We'll see,” I said. “Hey, Mom said you aren’t feeling well.”

     “Oh, it’s just a little acid reflux. A little worse than usual, that’s all,” he explained. “Hey, be a pal and grab your old dad his pack of cigarettes from the nightstand, would ya?”

     “Dad, you know Mom doesn’t like you smoking in the house.”

    
He shot me one of those pathetic puppy dog looks that never failed to make me feel sorry for him. I would do anything for my father, even if it wasn’t the greatest judgment call.
I handed him a pack of cigarettes
out of love,
and watched him light up.

    
Mom was in the bedroom
within seconds.
Sometimes it was like she had this sixth sense when it came to Dad smoking.

     “Martin, you are really unbelievable.” She stood in the doorway with her arms crossed. Her look of disapproval was evident. “I leave you
alone for a few minutes, and—”

      Dad
released
the cigarette into an empty coffee cup on the nightstand next to him, and waved the smoke away with his hand.
“Oh, I ain’t doing nothing.”

     
“Alexa, I need to speak to your father alone please.”

    
 
I did as I was told
with my heart clenching like a vice.
Mom closed
the bedroom door upon my exit, but it didn’t do any good. I stood outside the doorway, listening to her rip him a new one.

    
“Martin! You know those cigarettes are going to be the death of you. When will you get that through your thick head?”

    
“What do you expect me to do, Denise? I’ve been smoking since I was twelve. You think I’m just going to stop overnight?”

    
“You don’t get it, do you? You’ve been complaining all day that you’ve been feeling ill, and now I catch you in here smoking in front of your daughter.”

    
“Oh come off it, Denise. I haven’t had one all day. Cut me some slack.”

    
“You just broke your promise to me, Martin.”

     
“Honey, you’re making this worse than it really is.”

     
“You know damn well what the doctor said at your last checkup. I will not sit here and watch you die a slow death.”

    
A stab of guilt took me by surprise. The only time they really fought was when it came to Dad and his undying love for cigarettes. Mom would never accept the fact that it was a losing battle. At that particular moment, she really should have yelled at me. I was the one who gave into my father’s impulses. Although at times, I thought Mom was a little too hard on Dad when it came to his bad habit. Yes, he
had smoked nearly all his life, but some people can
smoke like chimneys and live well into their eighties. Dad was one of those people. Besides, I never saw him go down unless he had the flu. We had nothing to worry about. My family was immune to anything that could destroy us.

***

      The story of how my mother and father met isn’t a pleasant one. Both my parents were living in the small town of Ozawkie, Kansas.
When my mom was sixteen, she
worked almost full-time at her parent’s small restaurant, Sunny Sue’s Diner. She spent most weekends and evenings waiting tables. My mother’s father, Ben, thought it was more beneficial for her to start learning the ropes of the working world rather than get a solid education. Besides, it was a family business. Who needed college when the most knowledge required for the job was simple math to count tips? After Mom graduated high school, she worked the diner from dusk until dawn, seven days a week. This is also where she met my father.

    
Dad was just a “handsome hick from the sticks,” as she liked to say. He was nearly ten years older than she, and barely made enough money to afford a cup of coffee. Dad was always polite and particularly mild mannered. He was the quiet one who came in before his shift at six thirty in the morning, and
usually ordered nothing more than a plain old cup of black coffee. They got to talking every once in a while and had some great conversation about life outside of Kansas. Sometimes Dad would come in late at night after Mom’s shift was over, and they would sit in a booth and talk for hours.

    
Mom’s father caught wind of this and didn’t like it one bit. In fact, it practically put him in a tizzy.
Everyone knows everything about each other
in a small town.
Mom’s father knew all about Martin Moore and his family history way before he ever stepped foot in that diner for his thirty-cent cup of coffee.

    
My father’s mother, Alexandra, died from breast cancer
when my dad was just five-years-old.. For as long as Dad could remember,
it was just him and his father,
Duff, trying to make ends meet where they both worked at steel manufactory company on the assembly line. Sadly, Dad’s father came down with a serious case of tuberculosis, which
caused his father to become bed ridden. Everything at that point in time was left up to Dad.
My mom’s mother, Sharon, said my father had no future and would never be able to support himself, let alone a family.

     
Mom grew up in a family where she was criticized for everything. Nothing was ever good enough for her parents. When you own a diner (or any commercial business in Kansas, for that matter) you are considered one of the upper class. My mother lived in a rundown, two-bedroom apartment with five other mouths to feed. Yet, people in town still somehow considered the Gardner family prominent.

    
The rule was that as long as she lived under her father’s roof, Mom was to abide by his regulations. Even at eighteen, she was forced to comply. By that time, Mom liked Dad so much that they secretly began dating behind her father’s back. But of course, that secret didn’t last long. Like I said, Ozawkie is a small town. Someone eating at the diner happened to mention that they saw her with Martin at a drive-in. My grandfather was furious. That was the day her parents gave Mom an ultimatum:
Either she stopped seeing Martin Moore, or find another place to live. Mom was torn by this choice since
Dad was the first man she’d ever fallen
in love with.

    
Well, they say everything happens for a reason. That same day, Dad’s father passed away, and come to find out, his father
had
left him a decent amount of money that he
had
secretly stashed over the years.

     
That same night my parents met up at the local church parking lot to discuss the pending dilemma. Dad told Mom he had enough money to go to California and start a new life. Most importantly, he wanted her to come with him. Mom didn’t have to think twice about it.
She said “yes” instantaneously—and there was one other thing—Dad wanted to marry Mom as soon as possible. Before they left town the next day, they married at the same church where Dad proposed his secret getaway plan. After
the justice of the peace pronounced them husband and wife, they flow down the highway in Dad’s beat-up two-tone Ford truck. Off to
California the lovebirds went, where the two settled themselves in Orange County in a one-bedroom apartment. My father immediately got a job as a dishwasher, and made it known that he didn’t want my mom to work. He was determined to be the sole provider, but dishwashing just wasn’t cutting it. In his search for bigger and better things, an opening for a car salesman
position
came along. He applied and got the job, and it happened to pay well enough that he was able to buy a decent home in Irvine. The timing was perfect. My mother had just become pregnant with me.