Forever Blue (28 page)

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Authors: Jennifer Edlund

BOOK: Forever Blue
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Honestly, nothing was wrong with being friends.
I either
went ahead and gave Carter my number or risked losing him forever. I
had already lost him once, and
I wasn’t about to repeat the same mistake.

     He caught me off guard
when he skimmed my cheek with his hand. After all these years, his touch still did crazy things to me. A lump formed in my throat. I swallowed it down and whispered, “Goodbye, Carter.”

    
“I feel like someone should pinch me,” he said, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear.
 
“This has got to be some crazy dream. Stuff like this doesn’t just happen by coincidence, you know?”

    
I gently led his hand away from my cheek and guided it to my lips. I kissed each one of his
fingertips
and said, “I’ve waited over a decade for this moment.”

    
I ambled out of his suite feeling as though we were walking out of each other’s lives once again. If the circumstances were different, we could have started from where we
left off. But when we left off—I wasn’t a married woman.

 

 

***

 

    
On the way home, I was unable to stop thinking about my secret meeting with Carter.  Images and thoughts of our past took over my mind like a parasite.

     
“So where were you last night?” Ruth asked as we sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the 15 freeway.

    
“What are you talking about?”

    
“I’m not dumb. I woke up, and you weren’t in your bed. Did something happen you haven’t told me about?”

    
“No.”

    
“Liar. I think you’re upset because you didn't get to see Aiden again.”

    
I breathed in heavily and said,
“Okay, if I tell you something you can't tell anyone—not even Scotty.”

    
“Okay, just spill it.”

    
“When Aiden walked by me in the club, I said something that triggered his memory. The next thing I knew, his bouncer slipped me a note.”

    
“No way. What did it say?”

    
“It was from Aiden, asking me to meet him at his suite at The Wynn hotel.”

    
“Oh, so that’s where you really were this morning?” Ruth asked. “Oh no, Alexa. Did you—”

    
“Nothing happened, Ruth. All we did was talk.”

    
“Did you happen to forget that you’re married?”

    
“Which I made very clear to him,” I said. “Look, it was just closure—something I needed thirteen-years ago. I’m never going to see him again.”

 

 

***

 

    
Our trip was completely over
once we got back to my house.
I gathered my luggage from the SUV and bid Ruth farewell. I stood staring at the front of my house with my hand clasped tightly to the strap of my overnight bag. Some burning need to get in my car and drive back to Vegas overtook my body like an alien life force. I had no desire to be at home living my normal life or greet my wonderful husband. I needed to pull myself together and get back to reality. Playtime was over.

    
I walked in the door and found Scotty entranced by the television. 

    
“Hey, kid,” he said, getting up to greet me. He held me tightly, as if he never wanted me to slip away. “I missed you.”

    
“I missed you too,” I responded weakly.

    
He brushed his lips across my eyes and asked, “What's wrong? The job didn’t go so well?”

    
“No, it was fine. I’m just exhausted and want to go to bed. We'll talk in the morning, okay?” I said, giving him a quick kiss on the lips.

    
“Oh all
right,” he said as though I hurt his feelings.

    
I might have made it home in one piece, but emotionally I was like one big plate of scrambled eggs— like that old, “This is your brain on drugs,” commercial. I undressed and slipped into bed with my mind flashing back to memories of the past weekend. I ended up softly crying myself to sleep—something I hadn’t done in
a long, long time.

 

 

***

 

    
“So how was it?” Isabella asked.

    
After a sleepless night, it was no surprise that I still wasn’t feeling like myself.

    
“Unbelievable.” I sat in that famous ratty plaid chair of hers. “One of the best experiences of my life.”

    
“Well, I'm glad to hear that,” she said. “Are you okay? You seem preoccupied.”

    
“I'm just still trying to get back to reality. Las Vegas really messed with my mind.”

     
“Yes, it can be a little overwhelming on your first visit, but focus. I have another project for you in Los Angeles next week on a movie set,” she said, handing me a document. “You'll be the assistant makeup artist on this assignment.”

    
“Oh, tell me more,” I said, intrigued.

    
“Something with Hugh Jackman and Drew Barrymore. I'll know more in a few days.”

Isabella had some magical gift that could momentarily make me forget about all my problems.
My career was the one thing in my life where I found solace, and much to Isabella’s credit, she made me feel like I was valued.

 

 

***

 

    
I allowed myself to forget about Carter
and move on with my life, for the second time.

    
I got ready to go to the set in Los Angeles one morning when Scotty came up behind me and nuzzled at my neck.

    
“Good luck today,” he said, kissing my left shoulder.

    
I stared back at him through the vanity mirror. He wore a white collared shirt and his tie hung loosely around his neck.

    
I forced a smile and said simply, “Thank you.”

    
“Hey, let's celebrate tonight,” he suggested. “I’m getting off work early.”

    
“It depends on how long they need me. My day could be as long as fourteen hours.”

    
“I miss you, kid. It seems like things have been a little distant between us.”

    
  My cell phone rang after Scotty walked out of the bedroom.

    
“Well, hello there, Miss. Alexa,” said a male voice that sounded vaguely familiar.

    
“I'm sorry—who is this?” I asked.

    
“Seriously?”

   
  
I quickly closed the bathroom door and brought my tone of voice down to a whisper.
   
“Carter?”

    
“I know, you probably thought I forgot about you. Honestly, I've just been swamped.” His sigh was wistful and I could hear the exhaustion in his voice.

    
“No, it’s great to hear from you.”

    
“So listen, I wanted to invite you to a party in Los Angeles tonight.  It’s just a little get together. You can bring your husband if you want.”

    
I tensed
at the mention of Scotty, knowing he was the last person I wanted to think about while Carter was on the line. “He's actually busy tonight, but I'll be in L.A. working on a project today anyway.”

    
“So should I take that as a yes? Am I going to see you tonight, old friend?”

     
“You better believe it, mister.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 14: It Begins

 

 

 

    
A blinding ray of sunlight illuminated the parking lot of Paramount Studios. I arrived
that late morning
at the back lot, fantasizing about the stars I’d be working with. Prior to arrival, I found out from Isabella that the movie was a Western. Talk around Hollywood was that it was supposed to be one of the most highly anticipated films of the year.

    
A chubby girl with bleach-blonde hair and fifties-style glasses finally came to my attention.

    
“Alexa Logan?” she asked.

    
“Yes?”

    
“Follow me please.”

    
She was polite, but firm, not bothering to make small talk on our way to wherever she was taking me. We walked to a series of trailers and ended up stopping at one with a star on the door above a nameplate that read,
Hugh Jackman,
in glittery gold letters. 

    
“Um, are you sure I'm the right person? I was sent here by Isabella Bellini.”

    
“Weren’t you informed that you are to be Mr. Jackman's makeup artist for the next fifteen weeks?”

    
“Fifteen weeks?” I repeated.

    
“Is that a problem?”

    
“No, no. Of course not.”

    
“Good. Here is your parking pass. You’ll need to get an I.D. badge before you leave,” she said.

    
A decked-out trailer with plush leather couches, flat-screen televisions, and small a dinette area left me mesmerized. First chance I got, I took a peek at Hugh Jackman himself. He was getting his hair done in the back room of the trailer.

    
Production was in the middle of a gun battle scene. Hugh was to look like he had part of his cheek blown off. Of course that was right up my alley. Hugh was an absolute joy, and more down to Earth than I
had
ever imagined. He struck up a conversation as soon as we met, and was more than willing to speak freely about his wife and two kids.

    
I was off and on set throughout the day giving Hugh touchups whenever he needed them.
As
I stood to the side and
watched the movie being filmed, an element of excitement surrounded me. This was the first time in my whole career that I
had
worked on a movie set. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine myself getting up close and personal with all the magic of the silver screen.

    
Filming didn’t wrap up until eight thirty
that night, and in the cool darkness, I thought about how I was skipping out on Scotty’s celebratory dinner invitation. Surely, missing one dinner wasn’t going to hurt him. There was plenty of time for dinners with my husband, but an encounter with Carter only came once in a blue moon.

 

 

***

 

    
A massive line of people waited in front of the entrance of the Skyline club. Apparently, it was the club of choice for most celebrities. Five bouncers wearing charcoal blazers and matching slacks kept an eye on the crowd. I stood in the back of the line, utterly confused. I had no idea how I was going to get inside without waiting in line like everyone else. My
last resort was to call Carter. He was already inside the club
from the beat of the base in the background.

    
“Where are you?” I asked.

    
“What? You're gonna have to speak up. I can hardly hear you.”

    
“It's A-l-e-x-a,” I yelled
back, irritated. “I’m standing
in line!”

    
“I'll be right out.”

    
I squished in between a pack of girls desperately trying to impress the bouncers with their toned stomachs and glistening belly rings. Each of them wore overdone, caked-on makeup.

Fed up with the whole charade, I walked out of line with the intention of going back to my car.
A
rolling thunder of screaming started from the front of the line
just as I inched myself away from the crowd.
Paparazzi joined the throng of cheering onlookers by furiously snapping pictures. Carter could sure drum up commotion.
He squinted and scanned the crowd
as he stood at the entrance.
I vigorously waved my arms in the air with the intention of trying to get his attention.
The next thing I knew, I was
being
escorted to the front of the line. I caught the looks of jilted girls as I passed by, and for once in my life, I was the one who was important. I have to admit, it felt good for a change.

    
Once we were
inside the club, Carter led me through a mob of glamorous partygoers. Everyone was lost in conversations, laughing, and dancing amongst the strobe lights and music. We arrived at what I assumed was the VIP section. I silently contemplated the wide array of expensive bottles of alcohol set up on the tables before us.

    
“You need a drink,” Carter said. He handed me a glass and poured some Vodka into it. “I hope I'm not being too forward when I say you look great tonight.”

    
I didn't mind the comment. Quite the contrary, I welcomed it.

    
“Thanks,” I said, looking around and feeling out of place. It would take some time for me to believe I was in the company of one of the most famous faces on the planet. “You look great too.”

    
“Aw, shucks.”

    
“So how long have you been in town?” I asked.

    
“A month, but I won’t be here for long. I'm going to Sweden in a few weeks.”

    
Before I could mention our recent encounter in Vegas, two girls dropped by unexpectedly and interrupted my train of thought.

    
“Hi,” said the young blonde with a ridiculous giggle. “Aiden, my friend and I wanted to know if we could take a picture with you.”

    
“Of course,” Carter replied.

    
“Oh my Gosh. Thank you sooo much,” said the brunette who was practically giddy.

    
The two girls looked like porn stars (and for all I knew, they were), with nearly exposed gigantic breasts and rail-thin frames.
Someone quickly snapped a photo of the three of them
after a lengthy session of airheaded idle chitchat.
Naturally, both girls clung on to Carter well after the photo opp. I was surprised how easygoing he was about everything, but then again Carter had
always
been
that way.

    
“We just love you, Aiden,” said the blonde, blowing him a kiss as they walked off.

    
Carter turned his attention back to me
after they had left.
“You seem tense,” he said, sitting down next to me. “Loosen up. Maybe you should have another drink.”

    
“Sorry, I’m just a little overwhelmed right now.”

    
“Don’t be. Come on, it’s just me,” he said. “The only thing different is that a lot of people know who I am now. I’m still the same guy. You know this.”

    
“It’s just that all the attention you’re getting is making me really nervous.”

    
“Well, only another drink can fix that,” he said, pouring me another glass of something foreign. The drink tasted more potent than a shot of eighty-proof vodka. Surprisingly, I enjoyed it and helped myself to two more.

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