Forever Distraction (Distraction #3) (24 page)

I claimed her hard and she took it
, every bit of it, and she thought it was normal, because I was her normal. I gritted my teeth and opened my eyes. She didn’t regret, but I held some—a lot, actually. I didn’t let her come. I could sense when she was close, and then I would purposely shift something, causing increased sensation in another part of her body. My reasoning was completely selfish; if she didn’t have her release, the powerful build-up that was still roaming through her body would make her ache for me. She would cling to me for the rest of the night. She knew I was the only one who could give it to her, so she would keep me close. I knew I was an ass, but Katarina always had the upper hand on me, and for once, I needed her to feel what I felt every day.
Yep, I’m a selfish ass
.

I le
ft the bathroom and saw her standing, waiting for me by the door. She stood tall and proud, and her smile almost knocked me over. Her love for me always caught me off-guard and took the air out of my lungs. I inhaled deeply as I reached her and smelled sex all over her, and all I could think of was,
Now she’s wearing something of mine.

She r
an her slender fingers through her hair, and I caught a glimpse of the bite mark and cringed. It looked like it hurt; it was red and I could see the impression of most of my teeth in a circle toward the back of her neck.
Sometimes the after sex ‘moment of clarity’ sucks.
I wasn’t happy with my brutal marking. I reached up and tugged on the white collar of her dress and draped her hair over the savage mark. Her hair fell perfectly, like it was aware of my cover-the-bite-mark plan.

Her eyes
were focused on mine; I could feel them before she grabbed my hand. “It doesn’t hurt, and I know it’s weird, but I am comforted knowing you put it there,” she said softly. The air rushed from my lungs again and I searched her shifting eyes; she seemed embarrassed and ashamed by her words. I loved what she’d said.

My hand cup
ped her chin, forcing her diverted eyes back toward me. “The sick thing is…I’m comforted too, because you’re wearing something of mine; you have a reminder of me.”
Yeah, fucking insecure, but the big, fat, ugly truth.
She lifted her head in a slight nod and I reached to open the large wooden door, asking, “Ready?” Her head fell slightly in another nod and I opened the door.

Jason

Owen wa
s the first to make eye contact with me, and I was genuinely surprised at his lack of aggression toward me. Instead, his eyes were filled with humor. Katarina glided toward him every bit like a princess, in a way only she could really pull off, and he motioned toward Thomas, who was standing closer to the staircase. I stepped in stride with Owen to follow her.

“I almost interrupted
, but I enjoyed watching this pretentious prick sweat it out knowing you were both together alone. I hate him even more than I hate you,” he informed me. I responded instantly with a huge victory grin, because coming from Owen, it was a super-sized compliment. Without breaking his stare from Katarina, he cautioned, “You better not be smiling, because I’ll knock it off with my boot after I knee you in your prized possessions. You heard me when I said Katarina is like a daughter to me, right? No more of that in public. Got me,
Slugger
?” I cleared my throat and wiped my face of all emotions, not comfortable with the threats, but knowing Owen had Katarina’s best interest at heart eased my urge to set him straight.

We stopped at the end of the hall
. Katarina and Thomas were about three feet away from us. I moved to stand next to her, and Owen stuck his arm out, blocking my path. He leaned over, his voice only meant for me. “She’s got this.” I took a step back and stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Owen. “He’s planned something, and Katarina is about to set him straight. Two things you should know: never embarrass her in public, and don’t order her around in front of others. Thomas is about to learn those lessons. Katarina is polished and poised, so even if she gets upset, she masks it like a pro. I’m actually impressed by this young girl…watch. See how I am slightly in her eye shot, how she stands tall, shoulders back? She always knows where I am. If she gets nervous at all, she turns to me…always. Watch, it’s very impressive.”

She was flawless
, and everything about her was positively alluring. I understood Owen’s protectiveness and Thomas’s persistent need for her presence. I understood it, because that was how I felt. Katarina and Thomas talked, and I knew something was up with him, because he continued to mean-mug me, and I really wanted to punch him…really bad, just for the look. He raised his voice and nudged his head toward me as he continued to speak to her. “If you didn’t find him that night at the club, you would have seen him here. I invited him to the party, Kat. It’s to show you what you’re not missing.”

What the fuck? He didn’t invite me here.
I hesitated moving to her and defending my innocence, but through morbid curiosity, I observed Katarina, wondering where he was going with this. Her look was impassive, and I almost laughed, because he was trying so hard to get her to react. He told her, “I knew he stomped on your heart when you came home. I knew, because you spent the first three days in bed…sick, and if
I
didn’t make you go back to work, you’d still be sick.” She stared at him, giving him nothing, just a blank, expressionless face, almost appearing bored. “I invited all his ex-girlfriends here tonight so you could see what you’re partaking in every time you’re with him. I invited his baggage,” he hissed, which caused her to raise a brow in question. “The whole place was reserved for him and his conquests, and let me say…he’s been busy.”

Fuck me.
This was a party for me?
I couldn’t fight any longer; I needed to rescue her. I lurched forward in a giant step, and again, Owen’s arm came out to block me. “Wait,” he whisper-yelled in my direction.

“So you invited all these people to humiliate Jason
, or me? Is this an attempt to one-up him or…me? Tommy, this required a whole lot of planning just to make a crude point. To think you have been planning this for almost two weeks…hmm, what happens now?” She moved her hands to her waist, narrowing her field of vision to only him. Owen stirred by my side; he must have seen what I saw. Katarina’s body bent at the waist and she leaned in like she was calling him out, purposely provoking him.

“
In your head, what happens at the point I find out he’s had sex with all these other women?” Her voice was cool and calm, not what I was expecting, like she was talking with one of my nephews. There were no hysterics, no tantrums, and no show. She remained poised and he hated it. He took a step toward her, and that was when she glanced at Owen. Owen didn’t even hesitate; he stepped in-between them, and the look he gave Thomas gave
me
chills.

Thomas
’s anger spilled from his lips as he spat, “I can make him disappear, Kat, just like I made Jared and your other bodyguard.” Owen held strong, but I could see his look darken in a homicidal way. “We made plans, Kat; you’re with me. All that time we spent together when we were younger…we made plans. I was promised…by you. He’s white trash; can’t you see? I knew he called you princess, and look at you.” He motioned to her Snow White dress, “It convinced me I had to go through with this to save you, save you from making a horrible decision. If you walk away from me this time, it will be your last. You can take that however you want, but I mean every word of it.”

Owen had him by the throat in the next second. Thomas just threatened Kat
arina’s life, and only a stupid fucking idiot would threaten someone with their bodyguard two inches away. I stepped in to help—not that he needed it, and not that I gave a shit about this loser, but I was always up for a good ass kicking.

“Stay with Katarina
,” he told me, letting go of Thomas’s throat and scanning the room. There were crowds of people around, too many eyes. I knew how Owen thought. Her fingers weaved through mine and I broke my eye contact from Owen.

“I want to dance before we leave
,” she whispered. Confused by her words, I led the way down two flights of stairs to the dance floor, trying hard not to look around, not to notice anyone. Katarina—I was sure—was doing the exact opposite. My one-dimensional girl scanned the place to see who or what my type was. Fuck, I was nervous. I regretted every one of these women, but there was no way I could tell her that, not here, and definitely not now.

I reached the dance floor and pulled her in
to my arms. She didn’t object to my snug hold, so I didn’t lighten up. We weren’t dancing, even though the music was loud and people were moving around us. I was frozen and terrified. Her arms wiggled their way out of my hold and she slid her hands up my body, latching them around my neck.

“Sing to me
,” she looked at me pleadingly, “please. I need to hear you sing.” I loosened my hold on her. My heart accelerated, my head pounded, and I ached to offer her an apology. Her hand slipped down over my heart and she mimicked my heartbeat with her fingertip. The action was hypnotizing. I leaned into her scent, into her bubble, and kissed her ear as I sang. The words came to me, even though I was pretty sure I had never heard the song before. I serenaded her and held her close, the world disappearing for those three minutes. All we had was each other. When the song was over, I pulled away, tugging her arm with me. I headed straight for the exit like a true coward.

She yanked her arm away before we reach
ed the door. “All these women…
seriously?
” Honestly, I didn’t remember, but I knew the tally was high and wasn’t about to question a single soul that showed up. I gave her my attempt at a loveable, don’t-hate-me shrug. “Do you want to say hi to anyone?” she enquired while giggling, and I immediately felt better.

Stress and anxiety surrounded our bubble constantly
, and I needed to find a way to make things lighter, more fun; she needed that. “I don’t remember anyone,” I replied. Her laughter fell instantly, and I saw sadness. My heart clinched and I resisted the urge to throw her over my shoulder and run from this place. Instead, I pivoted on my heels and gently squeezed her hand to leave.

We waited for Owen to reach the large
, black Escalade before we drove away. Owen and Marcus, Katarina’s bodyguards, sat in the front and we rode in the back. She faced the window for long moments, and I just studied her. She was everything to me, and I didn’t know if she really understood no one could replace her; no one could ever be my princess. She turned to me finally. My mind was tired of willing her to turn and face me, and when she finally did, I wanted her to go back to staring out the window. The heartache that covered her face was the equivalent of being stabbed in the gut or shot in the eye. Those blue eyes filled to the brim with tears, and one-by-one they spilled over and I fucking hurt everywhere.

I lifted her into my lap and whispered into her ear as I stroked her hair
, “I love you so much. Please don’t cry.” I heard sniffling and more whimpers. I hated myself; I frickin’ loathed myself in that moment for being the cause. “Princess, listen to me. I was numb for so many years, and I hold so much regret for what I did.”

She pulled away quickly and cover
ed my lips with her warm hand, eyeing me protectively, telling me nonverbally to watch my mouth. “Don’t,” she breathed and then relaxed against my shoulder again. As I sat there feeling the shallow breaths on my neck, I was less of a man. I felt powerless and drained, ready to give up the fight and just cry with her for all the people I hurt, and for hurting her the most. “Will you talk about her?” Her soft voice was barely heard. My mind raced to every ‘her’ she could be referring to. I had no clue where she was going with this.

“Her? Kat
arina, there’s no one else.” I wrapped my arms tighter around her. The secure embrace was meant for her, but the harder I squeezed and buried my nose in her hair, the more I realized it was for me. It hurt how much I needed her.

“Jacy,
” she sadly whispered, “will you tell me about her?” Clarity hit me like a brick. She continued, “I don’t want to push you, but if you would tell me about her, it would make me understand. I’m so sorry you lost her, Jason.” Her words mixed with hiccups and my heart warmed, because my girl was worried about
me
. Of course the tears would be for me; she was always giving herself to me.

“Okay,” I
placed a small kiss on her forehead, “I told you how we met and that she died. What else do you want to know?” My fingers drifted over her collarbone and up the arch of her delicate neck.

“William said I looked like her from b
ehind. Do I remind you of her?”

I
squeezed my eyes shut, running my fingers through her soft hair, concentrating on her question. I was trying to find a way to word it without saying something…dumbass or insensitive.
How do you compare two loves?
“William, Jacy’s brother, he also told you I chased after you to break your heart, right?” I questioned, knowing now was the time to clarify everything.

“Yes.” Her voice was so soft
, making her sound fragile.

“No
…you and Jacy are nothing alike. Even though I love you both, you’re two different people entirely. Jacy was my teenage love, the love you think will last forever, the storybook, the love fantasy you have when you’re a young, naïve, hopeful kid. You don’t look like her from behind, because you’re a different height, a different hair color, and you move differently. The night Jacy was taken was heart-wrenching, and I was young.” I continued to hold her close, making sure nothing came across brash or heartless. “I wouldn’t change that night.”

She pulled away from me, confusion mixed with sorrow filling her blues. I explained, “I followed your grandfather that night and watched you dance.” A small smile creased her cheek. “You’re very good, you know.” She glanced away, and I knew it was a tender subject. “I went to all of your shows. I would go to the first, and stay to watch the second one. I liked to watch you dance, but it was more than that; you fascinated me and…something happened. I found you…” I traced my finger over her face, memorizing her delicate features, “…calming. There was very little after Jacy died that calmed me, and so anytime I could watch you dance, I jumped at it, even if it included an eight-to-nine hour drive.”

She
melted her head back into my shoulder as I continued, “I followed you after the dance recital that night—the first night, followed you as you rode your bike to the ice cream shop, and I even ate a sundae with you. I knew you were special. I’m not a creeper; it wasn’t gross, or sketchy, or disturbing, and nothing…” She slipped her hands over my nervous mouth to stop my chatter. I kissed it and then placed it back on my heart as I calmed and told her, “I tried to talk with you after that day, but you know how those Smiths are, all protective and shit.”

A slow smile stretched over my face just
seeing her grin. I confessed, “When I saw you in the coffee house, it wasn’t until I saw you the second or third time when I recognized you. Holy hell, when you smiled at me, I thought I could fall over and die happy right there. Fucking beautiful—nothing has ever captured me like you did that day you smiled at me. I loved everything about you, and you didn’t even speak to me. You’re fearless, strong, and hilarious.” I twirled her silky hair around my fingers, enjoying and savoring everything about her. “My favorite thing about you is the way you see the world, how you view the world through those dark, velvety blue eyes.”