Forever in Darkness (novella) (Order of the Blade #4) (4 page)

At those words, at the intensity of
his face, at the raw emotion in his voice, something inside Alice finally
broke, and she knew that with this man, she had a chance, the first one she'd
ever had. This was the man that she wasn't allowed to have, and somehow he'd
found her anyway. How long could she hold onto him? Five minutes? Ten? An hour?
"Kiss me," she whispered. "Break the spell that binds me."

A look of intense male satisfaction
roared over his face, and then he bent his head, and kissed her.

The moment Ian felt Catherine's
lips against his, his entire world shifted. Raw, burning desire claimed him,
intensity so powerful it roared through him like the most violent summer storm,
destroying everything in its path. He growled and slid his hand around to the
back of her neck, tunneling his fingers through the soft tresses as he deepened
the kiss, consumed by the need to taste her, feel her, possess her.

A small noise of surprise echoed
from her, and then she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him closer.
She kissed him back fiercely, with a pure, unbridled intensity. He could feel
the desire erupting from her, and it flooded his senses, overwhelming every
last bit of control he'd prided himself on for so long.

The kiss turned frantic, desperate,
as if both of them were unable to contain their need for each other. Ian
pressed her against the wall, kissing her more deeply as he shoved her shirt
out of his way and claimed the bare skin of her stomach, her hips, her back.
Her flesh was of the softest silk, more than he'd ever imagined even in his
dreams. It was pure and elemental, as if it were born of the spring earth after
a cleansing rain. She was the gift of light that he'd been craving his whole
life, the beauty of that moment where life suddenly takes on meaning.

He broke the kiss and trailed his
mouth down her neck, over her breastbone. Then he tugged her collar aside and
pressed his lips to the swell of her breasts.

"Oh, God." Catherine's
head clunked against the wall, as she leaned back, gripping Ian's shoulder as
he took her nipple into his mouth. Her body shook, and her fingers dug in as he
bit the taut peak.

The intensity of her response ricocheted
through him, and suddenly he couldn't hold back any longer. "I need
you," he growled as he kissed her again, as his hands covered her body,
touching her everywhere, learning her curves and her shapes, noting her
reaction to every touch he made. "I need to be inside you."

"Not here," she gasped.
"Anyone could walk through that door—"

"Fuck the door."
He called out one of his weapons with a flash and a crack of black light, then
slammed it into the door, jamming the hinge. "It's just us now."

Catherine's green eyes widened,
desire blazing in them. "I can't believe you just did that."

"You mind?" He pressed
his hips against hers, driving his erection into her belly as he ravished her
mouth with more kisses, not bothering to give her a chance to respond—

Her fingers went to his waistband,
and he swore as she unbuttoned his jeans and slipped her hand inside them.
"Hell," he gasped as her hand closed around his cock. "What are
you doing?"

"I don't even know," she
whispered, her voice throaty and raw as she stroked him with a carnal innocence
that nearly shredded the last vestiges of his self-control. "I've never
felt like this before."

"Shit, woman, if you felt this
for another guy, I think it would tear my heart right out of my damn
body." Ian ripped at the button on her jeans and yanked them down, tearing
them off her feet with a fierceness that he'd never felt before. He'd never
needed anything the way he needed to be inside her. His entire soul was
straining at its boundaries, desperate to be released into her, to claim her as
his and connect them so tightly that she'd never be able to leave him again.

He shoved her up against the wall
and kissed her again as he wrapped his hand around her left thigh and lifted
her leg over his hip. Her skin was so smooth, but it was burning with a heat
that matched the fire raging within him. He slipped his fingers inside her, and
swore when he felt how ready she was. "Jesus, Catherine—"

"Ian," she gasped, as she
writhed from his invasion, her hips moving almost violently, as if she were as
unable to contain her response to him as he was unable to stop himself from
reacting to her. Her fingers dug into his shoulders, and he attacked her mouth
again, kissing her so fiercely it was almost violent.

She grabbed his head and kissed him
back, her leg tight around his hip as if she could yank him closer and deeper,
as if his fingers plunged deep inside her couldn't begin to satisfy her. Damn
good thing, because it wasn't enough for him either. "I need to be inside
you," he whispered between kisses. "Now."

"God, yes."

Rightness roared through him, and
Ian grabbed her other leg and locked them around his hips. He broke the kiss,
pulling back enough to see her face. Her eyes opened and she locked gazes with him.
"I want you to know this is me," he said as he grabbed her hips and
adjusted them so he was pressing against her entrance. "You and me,
Catherine. You and me. Got it?"

She nodded, her breath coming fast
and shallow, her hands digging into his shoulder. "You and me."

"Say my name." He needed
to connect them, to lock them down, to bind them so tightly that she couldn't
get away from him again. He pressed harder against her entrance, every muscle
in his body straining not to enter her until he had what he wanted. Until it
was only about them. "Tell me it's me."

Catherine's face softened, and for
a second, he felt like she'd become some angel sent from the heavens, there was
so much beauty in her eyes. Then she cupped his face and pulled him closer.
"Ian Fitzgerald," she whispered. "It's only you."

Yes.
Rightness surged
through him and he plunged deep inside her.

* * *

Alice almost screamed from the
surge of emotions that filled her as Ian drove into her. Desire raged through
her, a passion so intense that her muscles were trembling, and she couldn't
breathe. And it was more than that. A sense of connection, of everything being
exactly as it was supposed to be. Of her finally finding that place she'd been
searching for her entire life.

Ian grasped her hips and began to
move inside her, devouring her with kisses so passionate they reached deep
inside her and claimed her very core. Her hips twisted, trying to get him
deeper, churning up sensations that rippled through her, evoking such desire
she could barely even hold onto him.

"I've got you,
sweetheart," he promised, his voice rough against her lips. "I won't
let you fall. Just let it go." Then he thrust deep, and she was lost to
him, opening herself to him on every level. Her heart, her soul, her body, her spirit.
Everything was for him. And it wasn't enough. She wanted more. She wanted
him.
She wanted it both ways. She wanted to feel his emotions, his desire, his
passion and his—

Sudden lust flooded her, and she
gasped from the darkness that suddenly consumed her. Fierce, protective
passion. Ownership. Lust. And an aching despair so overwhelming it nearly tore
her soul apart. Ian's despair. She knew instantly that she was feeling Ian's
emotions, that he was pouring them into her exactly as she'd asked. There was
so much inside him. So much passion, so much strength, courage, and violence. He
was brimming with violence and darkness, the same kind that had tortured her
for so long, that haunted her at every turn.

Demon violence.

It was in him, thick and alive, and
fear began to ripple through her—

"No." Ian broke the kiss,
and pulled back, stilling his hips as he met her gaze. "Feel what else is
inside me," he said. "That's not who I am."

Alice began to tremble, but she
nodded, keeping her attention riveted to his face. His dark brown eyes, his
tousled hair, the whiskers on his jaw, the mouth that had kissed her so
passionately. It was a man who held her, not a monster. It was a man who had
brought her to life, not a demon who had stripped it from her. "It's all inside
you," she said. "The evil, and the good—"

"No." He kissed her
again, a gentle, tender kiss that brought tears to her eyes as he began to move
his hips again, slow, seductive thrusts that began to curl sensual desire through
her again. "I'm a fucked-up mess," he said between kisses. "I'm
cursed, and I'm definitely not the kind of guy you'd take home to your mom, but
I'm not evil."

She shifted her hips, unable to
keep from responding to the sensations he was evoking inside her with his slow,
seductive thrusts. "But there's demon inside you—"

"No evil." He kissed her
again. "Don't keep me out, Catherine. Bring me into your soul. See who I
really am. Let me see who you really are. Let me find out your secrets, the ones
you can't tell me." Then he thrust again, deeper this time, and she
couldn't keep from gasping at the intense pleasure that cascaded through her.

How could her body respond like
this if he was evil? It didn't make sense. It couldn’t happen. She shouldn’t be
feeling this way regardless of who he was— He thrust again, and a tremor shot
through her. An orgasm? "Dear God, Ian—"

"Not God. Just me. But I'm
damned close." Then he took over her mouth again, and his kiss was more
than just passion, more than just desire. There was a tenderness to it that
made her throat tighten, a personalization that told her that it was simply for
her. That she was all that mattered. An offering of his very soul to her, if
she wanted it. A deep, masculine warmth enfolded her like a solid wall of
strength, and she knew it was Ian, showing her that she was safe with him. He
wasn't kissing Catherine, he wasn't making love to a name, he was completely
and irretrievably connected to her, to her soul, to the very essence of who she
was.

The demon was still there inside him.
The despair. The shadows that clung to his heart and had burrowed their way
into his soul hadn't lessened, but beside all of that, she could sense a purity
of spirit, an honesty of intention, a commitment to her safety.

His emotions and his spirit were
unlike anything she'd ever felt before, and she was overwhelmed by it, by how
he made her feel. Unable to articulate her emotions, she showed him the only
way she could, by wrapping her arms around him and kissing him with everything
she was.

"And now you're mine,"
Ian whispered it into her mouth, a fierce statement of possession that made her
shiver in anticipation. Then he thrust deep, and she was lost to him.

The kisses turned frantic and
desperate, and suddenly she couldn’t get enough of him. She clung to him as he
thrust again and again, driving deeper and deeper, sending her catapulting
toward the precipice. Tension built inside her, coiling tighter and tighter,
twisting her insides into a seething mass of desire so intense she couldn’t
even think. "Ian—" she gasped.

"Catherine," he growled
as he thrust one more time, and then everything fragmented inside her and she
came apart in his arms. Ian shouted fiercely and then he was crushing her
against the wall, his body rigid as the orgasm took him, spinning them both wildly
out of control, into a place so dangerous and so right that she knew everything
had changed for her forever.

* * *

Ian leaned his forehead against
Catherine's as he fought to regain his breath. His muscles were vibrating from
the violence of the orgasm that had just taken him, and from the intensity of
what he'd felt from Catherine.

He understood more about her. So
much more. And it wasn't good.

"Ian." Her voice was
throaty and sensual, easing into his gut as she ran her fingers through his
hair.

He smiled and lifted his head,
placing a kiss on her mouth. That amazing, beautiful mouth. "Hey."

Her eyes were at half-mast, the
expression of a woman well-loved, but there was a furrow between her brows. "That
shouldn't have been able to happen between us."

Ian nodded. "I know. I can
tell."

Surprise flickered across her face.
"You can? What are you talking about?"

Ian rested his palm on her chest,
over her heart. "There are shields inside you so strong that I couldn't get
past them. I could feel you reaching out for me, inviting me in, but I couldn't
get in. You're blocked from connecting with me. With anyone?"

She nodded, watching him warily, as
if uncertain how much to share. "I thought you could get that information
out of me. Wasn't that why we had sex?"

Ian chuckled at the flash of
vulnerability in her eyes. "Sweetheart, we made love because there was
nothing on this earth that could have kept me from you."

A small smile flickered at the
corner of her mouth. "I know that's not the whole truth. I know we had sex
to build an intimate connection between us, but I really liked that you said
that."

"I meant it."

Her smile grew wider. "That's
why I liked it."

Ian grinned, but he couldn't shake
the feeling of something being wrong. He'd felt it when he was inside her,
connected to what little of her spirit he'd been able to reach. Yeah, the sex
had been something off the charts, and there was no question that she was the
other half of his soul, but something was off, and he didn't know what. There
was a gap between them, a gap that was dangerously wrong.

The doorknob behind him turned, and
he heard the thudding as someone tried to open the door. Catherine glanced over
his shoulder, and her cheeks turned red. "I need to get my clothes back
on."

"I know." Reluctantly,
Ian slid out of her, and as he did, an aching sense of loss consumed him, as
if he'd just lost so much more than a physical connection with her. As if it
were the last time he would be connected like that with her. Seriously? The
curse coming at him already, trying to make him mourn what he hadn't even lost
yet? What the hell? Catherine was alive and well in his arms, and now that he'd
found her, he was going to keep her alive.

He stayed close to her as they both
reclaimed their clothes, unable to shake the sensation that something was
increasingly wrong. It was when she reached for her hair to smooth it that he
realized what was wrong. He grabbed her arm and pulled it toward him.